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The Thomas Recipe for Opiate Detox

I’ve heard a few people talk about using the “Thomas Recipe” for detoxing from opiates. Most of the herbs and drugs that are part of that regimen can be found right here on our own post about drugs for detox, but I thought I’d put the recipe up here too since it follows a specific set of instructions.

Thomas Recipe

Taper your Vicodin (or other opiate) dose as much as you can before hand, and if possible take some time off from work or any other obligations you might have.

What you need:

  1. Valium or any other type of benzodiazepine like Ativan, Klonopin, Xanax etc…
  2. Immodiun.
  3. L-Tyrosine.
  4. Mineral supplement that contains at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium. You may not find a supplement that contains all of these together. If not, then buy separately.
  5. Vitamin B6.
  6. Access to hot showers or baths.

Putting it all into action:

“Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can’t find a supplement for it.

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you’re aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn’t need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don’t underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don’t take it, however, if you don’t need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the “coffee jitters,” consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

- Thomas”

If anybody gives this one a try, let us all know how it goes.

If you have trouble getting your hands on some of the above ingredients, then there are over-the-counter products like Withdrawal-Ease that might serve as a good substitue.


1 Kristin { 07.29.09 at 10:13 am }

I have tried this recipe. The only thing different was the addition of Clonidine and Compazine. The Clonidine helped with the anxiety and rapid heart beat. The Compazine helped with vomiting and sleep. Without Compazine and Immodium, I wouldn’t have been able to hold any food in. The recipe by itself is still a wonderful aid to people trying to quit. The only thing I notice is the trying to “plan” it is usually not the case. Vicodin addicts usually go through w/d because their supply got cut off and they have no choice. I know it happened to me alot of times. I was able to quit because of this recipe,a understanding ER doctor, and some awesome support I found online and in my neighborhood. I have been clean now for 27 months. Thank you for this blog. Its an awesome place for people to go to so they can start taking their lie back :)

2 Adam { 07.29.09 at 11:18 am }


Thanks for the tips, and the kind words. Also, congrats on the 27 months. :)
I do agree that the “planning” phase is usually difficult, but it’s definitely a good way to prepare mentally, if you have the luxury of doing it.

3 drGian { 08.20.09 at 10:28 pm }

I feel like a lightweight compared to some of the posters here, but I’m at the end of day 1 cold turkey from vicodin 6 to 8 7.5′s a day for about 3 months, 3-4 for about 6 months before that. It’s been 24 hours and I’ve been fine acutally, but now i can’t sleep. I took 2 klonopin an hour ago and no relief from the RLS. Otherwise I feel perfectly fine, but we’ll how long that lasts. What’s frustrating is some posters talk about 2 weeks before it gets better and some are done in 3 days? I’m hoping I’m the latter due to a lifetime of no drug use and overall healty living. But I guess time will tell. I have freed my calendar for tomorrow and the weeknd. Please with me luck. I am trying the l-tyrosine and the zinc and other supplements recommended here. I don’t have a hottub, but we do have a nice steam shower here. I guess I was expecting more pain and all I have now is inability to sleep and I want to sleep so badly!

4 Michael { 10.07.09 at 1:42 pm }

today is day 6 for me cold turkey off of 400mg oxy daily. i dont know how i let myself get that deep. amazingly, i even had about 60 left that i managed to keep locked away from myself before finally dumping them back to my “friend.” most of my issues SEEM to be subsiding, but sleep has been hell and it is the restless ARMS that keep getting me kicked out of bed. i am wondering which items in this recipe anyone would recommend for mostly anxiety, mild depression and the restless limbs. thank you for any feedback.

5 Adam { 10.07.09 at 9:49 pm }


Thanks for reaching out, and congrats on day 6. It’s gonna be tough to find anything that’s gonna give you serious relief over-the-counter. And I would say, now that you’re already on your sixth day, I would stay away from anything harder, unless you feel like you’re strong enough to maintain it. Can you exercise yet? Take some walks outdoors. That helped me immensely with the depression. The anxiety sucks, but it’ll subside. Try some Valerian root for that.

Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

6 Penny { 10.24.09 at 5:31 am }

I am so glad I found this website! I am on day 5 of WD. I honestly was attributing my symptoms to the flu I felt so miserable. I am also on valium and have continued using that in a small dose at night. The sleeping issue and body aches are the worse for me, plus I have chronic migraines ( which is why i got addicted in the first place) and of course they are kicking in now. What I found that is helpful to me is drinking lots of water and gatorade, massage ( I have a massage chair but you can do self massage or have a loved one help out) and deep breathing, relaxation techniques. I am ready today to start exercising lightly again once my headache subsides. One question, are other muscle relaxers helpful aside from the valium? I cant take over the counter sleep aids as they seem to make my restless legs worse. Any suggestions?

7 Stray Cat { 11.12.09 at 6:19 pm }

Yes, yes, yes…This recipe works. Although i dont suffer much with the leg syndrome. I usually try to ge t off by the second week of use or it get harder every additional week i am on them. Being i have had two back surgeries and just yesterday had surgery on my wrist. If i got past a month on them, then just add one more week of hell for every week past two weeks that i am on them. I have had my runs of years on this little wicked bastard and the faster i get off them the better. Good luck to everyone. i know you and i will both need everything we have to kick these bad boys…

8 Billy { 01.08.10 at 11:01 am }

How come no one is talking about the wonders of alcohol?? I have had a really rough path with this given the fact that my doc is giving me 120 a month.. and I found about 200 else where a month.. the 200 is a strong norco yellow pill.. Anyways I am following the recipe and so far so good.. I have surgery coming up and I plan on staying off em..

9 claudia b { 01.18.10 at 3:50 pm }

this is my secund day of my wdl and you can imaging how i feel, iam gona try he recipe wish me luck

10 Adam { 01.18.10 at 4:18 pm }

Good luck Claudia! Life just so sweet when you’re not going through withdrawals. :)

11 al { 01.22.10 at 7:37 pm }

Im so glad you guys have made it to the point of quitting. Any tips on actually planning to quit. I do about 10 7.5′s a day and I say Im going to quit but I just keep going back. I buy ten more to wean off of em and I always end up eating them and then saying, this time it’s it, Im quitting tomorrow. When I wake up it’s the hell of knowing I have those to wean off and I start freaking myself out about not doing them and then I do 1 just so I start weaning off. Then I always go get another half, just in case or some crap. I had this problem before and I did quit but I don’t know how I did last time. My life has been filled with years of abuse. Im sick of it and I feel guilty everyday about it. Im successful, happy, why is this crap taking over? I guess I just need somewhere to vent. Thanks. I was going to get some suboxcin to try and detox. Has anyone tried it and if so what can I expect? Is there still rls?

12 Cathi { 01.26.10 at 3:46 am }

I have been taking about 60-100 every day for about 3 weeks after shoulder surgery. I had no idea I could get addictedsto quickly! These withdrawals are the worst thing I’ve ever been through, and I’ve just started tapering off over the past few days! Throw in some nasty stomach flu and it’s been just fabulous. :( I imagine it’s worse for people who have used for years. I already suffer from clinical depression and I’m on medication for that. So now it’s the sleeplessness and anxiety I have to deal with. I took my last pill 14 hours ago. I hope I can get through this. I don’t even feel like the same person.

13 Coreyaraya { 02.02.10 at 5:00 pm }

Listen I know people are in Need for support here and i just wanna give u background of my use. For the past year I would say about 20 ES a day and now I have been clean for 26 hours. I was so sick of driving 30 minutes out of my way to pick em up everyday so sick of all my friends call me to get em and sick of the way they made me feel. I work a full time job and have othe obligations that need done but I cannot take a day off or I loose money. Ihave stopped many of times before in my 3 year run. It first startered when I got a script for a torn muscle then I didn’t look back. But it really has been bad the last 6 months. I look at WD as a beautiful release. I did this to myself and have no one to blame but myself. I am still going to work like today and the next. Not every one has a job where u can take a 15 min break when u start shivering or u need to walk. I do. Taking off ur time is running from ur demon. I would say oh I got this coming up so I will quit after that then after that this comes up. This addiction has effected my whole life and I’m fucking sick of it. I took about 12 ES last night an thought long and hard for my motivation to quit. I finally found it and will not be denied my freedom of this drug. I have tried everything to curb the symptoms and the one thing I have found works best for me is when ur body hurts, u can think, and u feel like ur skins going to jump off ur body remember your motivation to quit. If that motivation is truely strong enough u will do it. Take a picture easiely accesable write a note so u can look at it and Believe me there is always a calm after a storm. When u feel a wave coming on motivate urself. Other drugs u tAke to get off this one is just taking another drug that u might have WD from. Go grab a bag of blow pops, orange juice, bannannas, Gatorade, water or what ever works for u. Then find ur motivation and just quit. I am a firm beilever in tough love and I always want to believe people have It in them. This post is helping me cope and I hope it helps u. Just take it 6 hours a time. U might have 2 or 3 storms in 6 hours for 20 minutes a storm but once u hit ur peak where you hit the most WD in a 6 hour time then when that number starts to decrease your over ur hump. WD is a mutha fucker I am not going to lie but it is a necassary part for parets to play with their kids again, people to live normal lifes, and you to be on ur way to recovery. I will leave u with this last thought that got me throught the first time I was clean for a year before I got hurt and what I am using now. I found what I need to motivate me to quit and am a pissed off individual right now mostly becasue I let it get this bad and I will not take no for an answer. Stay strong and keep busy the more u have projects or something going on you will not sit in your room and watch the clock. I hope this post helps 1 person and if it does please let me know.

14 Jane { 02.05.10 at 6:04 am }

Yes, indeed this helped. I have been taking 9 vicodins for about 6 months. The 500 not the 7.5. I had knee surgery. Dr. said no more. So. I had 8 left yesterday. Took three at 6:00 last night.
I will take 3 today, 1 tomorrow and 1 the next day. At least thats the plan. I am taking tons of vitamins and I have xanax.25 when needed. Your post was inspirational. How are you doing. I am afraid. Its been 15 hours since a vicodin and I feel ok so maybe it won’t be too bad. I am a baby. I hate pain. Wa, Wa, Wa. I hope you are well and thanks for sharing. J

15 Sue { 02.05.10 at 6:38 pm }

I have been taking norcos, 6 to 15 a day for about 2 years. If you need to know the yellows. I decided to stop on my own. Never had a script, it seemed like fun at first. I tapered as much as possible which as we all know wasn’t much as an addict. Anyway I’m a little over 48 hours since last dose. I realize some of you may say I am not that bad off but it’s been hard. I still have access to the drug . Asked all my “friends” to never give it to me again. I also realize what it has done to me. Stumbled across this guide on the internet and figured, almost a day in, any help was better than none. Thank God I have some friends who helped me out. While I lay in bed feeling like death my mom and a friend helped to get all ingredients on the list. I even let my boss know what was going on and she was very understanding ; gave me a few days off. Xanax is all I could find for the sleep. I am taking the vitamins religiously. The RLS I noticed gets bad only if I’m not in a walking coma. I hate bananas, but anything for relief. Been taking baths as much as possible and as hot as I can stand. Have to say it’s helping greatly. Just got out of the tub and obviously I’m typing and out of bed. Imodium is great, the stomach cramps without it are excruciating. I didn’t follow it to a T, I am already taking the L-Tyrosine in the mornings. I have to parent. Don’t worry people my mom is helping. Started on it low, then took more. Feeling a little better though. I know I will make it through this. May be sick for a while, but I have my whole life to look forward to. I’ll keep you guys updated. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Also thank you for this site, It may not cure withdrawals. It sure in the hell takes the edge off.

16 Adam { 02.06.10 at 12:50 am }


Listen, you’re awesome! As I’ve said before, it’s difficult for me to give advice on staying clean, because I truly do believe that everyone’s process is going to be different. You, like so many others on this site, have reached out. That’s ALWAYS the first step. Everything else will fall into place at some point or another. It’s just a matter of time. If this is the last time you go through this, great, if not, you’ll do it again. The only problem with this process that we go through, is that it’s a very tight rope, however, the only thing that can stop you is death. I know it’s brutal to think that, but it’s reality. We see it with celebrities all the time, but what we don’t hear about are the thousands of average joe’s and jane’s out there that fall off that rope each year. All I can say is, BE CAREFUL, take care of yourself. Create a life outside of that high, that you know will be better than your life with that high. It’s there…find it.

17 Adam { 02.06.10 at 12:52 am }


Be brave! There’s obviously a part of you that wants this. A part of you that wants to be rid of the pills. Hold on to that, and I guarantee you that that inner baby will eventually go away. :)

God bless!

18 Sue { 02.06.10 at 6:33 pm }

Thanks for the advice. I am now just past 72 hours. A little tired, but got around today to get some exercise. Finally the bad part is over. Thank you guys so much for the help. Too many sites suggest taking the drug to get off it. That just seems stupid. Everyone out there feeling like crap stick it out. I promise it gets better.

19 Adam { 02.06.10 at 8:11 pm }


It’s only stupid if it’s done wrong. I’m not a big fan of methadone or suboxone, but some people swear by it. If you can go cold turkey, by all means…go for it! :)

20 alexa { 02.09.10 at 1:21 am }

I have been inhaling/snorting norco, vicodin, morphine, dilaudid for the last 2 1/2 yrs of my 5 year addiction to pain meds. Does anyone have any advice on what to use to ease the pain in my nasal passages and sinuses when I quit? It is terrible and I have a hard time moving past this point. I know once I’m past it I’ll be able to do the rest. There is no joy or high in these drugs anymore-not for me. I take them to keep from getting sick and that is a humbling piece of knowledge. I’ll appreciate anything you have to offer. Alexa

21 theresa { 02.10.10 at 4:08 pm }

How long does it take for norco to be completely out of your system and is that when the withdrawls start? How long do they last?

22 Adam { 02.10.10 at 10:48 pm }


It really depends on how much you’ve been using, and for how long. For me, the withdrawals were full-blown within 48-72hrs, which is pretty standard from what I’ve read.

23 theresa { 02.11.10 at 12:47 pm }

I’ve been taking about 8 norco/day for about 18 months. How sick will I be , will I be able to go to work? What about the mental effects I already have severe depression and occasional thoughts of suiside. Will these become worse? I really want to get off this stuff. I have also been taking about 2-3 ativan per day for severe panick attacks, would valium work better for the withdrawls? and then how do you get off the benzos. The whole thing sounds pretty scary and I really need to know how long it will last. What about taking clonidine to help?

24 Frank Williamson { 02.15.10 at 10:00 am }

Hello all, I’m here because I take 6 10mg of Norco a day and have for 3-4 years. I ran out and can re-up anyday now from my Dr. Thought that this was crazy to keep on like this. Barley slept last night and am aching and irratable bigtime. My wife and kids are off school all week so I think I can take the time to detox now. They don’t know and am very embarraced of my addiction. I feel if I can kick it like I did cigarettes then i’ll be ok. Can I do this cold turkey or am I asking for trouble? I feeel like I have the flu and my body is aching. I don’t have the motivation to do anything and that is my biggest and hardest to deal with as of now. Today is my first day and I can’t do anything. Any advice will do. I like bananas even more if they will help with RLS. Check back later for more advice.

25 Nate { 02.17.10 at 10:49 am }

Hey Frank, I wanted to give my two cents but I want to be clear that this is a very individual thing, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I have been on and off Norco for years due to a reoccurring back problem. I’m usually on for six months and off from six months to a year or two, so I have been on this roller coaster many times. I am currently nearing the point where I will wean myself and begin my detox but I am on 8 Norco per day as we speak.
In my humble opinion it is important not to get caught up in the language of addiction. The way we think about this and the language we use colors our experience and, often, pigeonholes us into the worst possible version of what you are experiencing. What I am getting at is that for me, and maybe for you, looking at quiting the pain medication as a part of the treatment process removes a lot of angst and negativity from the process. In other words, I am injured/sick and have been given medication. When I have recovered I stop taking the medication, which has side effects but is simply the last phase in the process of dealing with my injury or illness. It is what it is, do what you have to do and don’t get too caught up in over-thinking it. Again, this is simply my opinion but it does have a significant physical and emotional effect. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, and the unpleasantness is simply part of the process. Better that than fretting about being an addict, and choosing to carry all of the baggage that goes with it. Plus it allows you to focus on making yourself comfortable throughout the process.
I try to taper as much as possible. Cut your dosage by 1/2 a pill ever few days or even every week. It doesn’t make the final stage go away but my experience is that it significantly reduces some of the side effects.
When I get down to about 1/3 of my highest dosage I begin taking more vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. Phenylanaline, 5-HTP, Choline, Glantamine, and GABA. The Choline is very important. The GABA is best before bed. You will have to look into dosage, and be sure to read about each before taking them to make sure that they are right for you. I also start taking Sena tea to help get my bowel closer to normal before I stop taking the meds. It will help reduce the severity of dia area
I usually hit a wall where any reduction results in full on withdrawl symptoms, usually 1/2 norco three times a day. At that point I continue with the vitamins, minerals, and amino acids but I also take xanax, clonidine, compazine, and immodium (all as needed). Make yourself as comfortable as possible, keep hydrated, and the bad part will be over in 3 or 4 days. I try to think of it as a really bad flu and just forget about the stupid hydrocodone.

26 Kathleen { 02.20.10 at 11:16 am }

Thank you so much everyone- I am in the planning stage and your letters are inspiring me to really do this thing. I have helped people kick for many years and feel I had much love and compassion for them. Now that it’s me, and I have had only a small taste of detox, I am scared to death. I can still keep my meds with the medical issues I have, but for me, it’s the soul loss that’s really killing me. Grief stricken at the loss of freedom, just a little bit sick most of the time. Thanks again-you are Angels to me. Where can I get the Opiate Withdrawal Survival Kit part One?

27 Joes Mama { 03.03.10 at 12:42 am }

I am 3 full days with no Vicodin (weeny addiction compared to some (3 -4 5/500′s a day, but the bowel water issue and muscle aches are killing me! Doc gave me Tramadal and some other muscle relaxer but I feel Like I Am Going To Die! Can’t sleep and am hoping to get some exercise in, grouchy and wanting to take tylenol ANYTING to feel normal again. Can’t do the up and down thing anymore and cannot stand the idea of never being over this or not feeling like this. Someone please tell me this too will pass and I can do it! I am hoping the supplements in Thomas’ recipe do not interfere with my other meds, but I feel like death warmed over anyhow so I am going to dive in head first. Good luck to all of us who try to kick this trash! It is so ROUGH!

28 Michelle { 03.04.10 at 9:56 am }

I have been taking anywhere from 15-20 10mg yellow pills for over 6 years and I finally woke yep a few days ago and said to myself that I have had enough. I took the last of my supply, and I few extra just for the heck of it, and I have now been clean for 16 hours. It hurtsm dont get me wrong, it hurts like crap, and to make things worse, I am at work right now. The worst part to me is the RLS. I hate not being able to sleep and I am sure that I will have a lot more of it to come. I just keep telling myself that if I can stick it out for the next week or two, then I will be ok

29 Jacqueline { 03.06.10 at 8:04 am }

I am going through methadone detox through a clinic. I started out using oxy’s and roxis religiously for about a year, every single day. At least 40 mg but mostly around 80-120 a day.(If I got lucky up to 200mg) Anyway, been at the clinic about 8 months and am working my way down.I am at 25mg, my highest dose was 55mg.Word of advice for people considering methadone detox: DO NOT let yourself replace one addiction for another, like many do. I went into this knowing my limits, even though it totally SUCKS watching people go in there day after day getting a “legal high”. If you just take what you need to function, and not to get totally high, you will succeed. Anyway, Detox is getting harder, especially with the malaise, apathy, anxiety, body aches, sweats etc.I may switch to Suboxene to end my detox. But about the recipe: Potassium for the restless limbs, it controls nerves and helps calms the muscles.L-tyrosine works wonders for mental and physical energy, CINNAMON supplement for hot/cold sweats(not listed in recipe), multi vitamin/mineral with the iron, zinc and such helps with overall well being and getting your body back in balance.Drugs force our bodies to become dependent on the drug of choice, and all the nutrients are flushed out.I have only been following this for two days and I feel wayyy better, I highly recommend this rather than giving in to illicit drug use to calm symptoms.The benzo’s are ok, just don’t let yourself grow to love them..Also WATER and fiber help to keep you regular.Only use the fiber if you are irregular. Good luck, your not alone in this. It’s hard, but just remember how much happier life was without dependence on drugs. You feel naturally high, something many forget when falling into addiction.Tackle this monster one day at a time…

30 Neonurse { 03.14.10 at 9:17 am }

I am on day 3 of detox and the first two were horrible of course. Luckily I have phenergan and klonopin for nausea and RLS! My question is what do I do about the actual pain that I’m having, whcih started this whole thing anyway. I have taken, over the past 4 years anything you can think of, fentanyl patch, vicodin 10, oxycodone 10 and anything else I could find. The pain in my lower back is excruciating and I can’t work with this kind of pain! I don’t know what to do. I want to be free from this madness but at the same time I need relief from the constant pain in my back and legs. I don’t know what to do! Thanks for letting me vent. This is a great website! Kim

31 kristy { 03.17.10 at 7:14 am }

Did all ya’ll tell your dr.’s about your addiction? I’m too embarrassed to consult with my dr. What if she thinks I’m just there to “score” more meds. Were you able to just come clean about coming off of this stuff? I definitley want to stop… I’ve tried weaning myself off, but that doesn’t work for me. If I have them, I’m gonna take them!! Have been taking 8-10 a day for the past 2 years. Last time I stopped I haf terrible stomach cramps, RLS like a mo fo, and these weird “jolts” like a friggin’ crack head. Scared to tell my dr. about it, cause I really don’t want that “label” when I go there. But how else can I get these med’s to help with the wd’s?

32 Shmoe { 03.19.10 at 10:24 am }

So nice to find this website.! Been taking 1-5 vics for about 9 months after a couple years of weekend only use. My source may have dried up and forced my hand as I’ve had 0 today. No one knows, just me and now I guess this board. Please wish me luck win withdrawal and recovery.

Problem is, I like being stoned. But I suppose it can’t last forever. Thanks fro being here

33 Shmoe { 03.21.10 at 12:21 pm }

What a great website this is!

kristy it seems like you really have to tell your doc. They can help you and they can’t tell anyone else.

I quit Friday (2 days ago), but then had one this AM. So it probably doesn’t count as quitting :( . The anxiety is killing me. And I am already on Buspar, maybe I need a higher dose?

For those of you that could quit – how long before the anxiety fades? It is usually a week for all w/d symptoms?

34 Shmoe { 03.22.10 at 4:32 am }

To Joe’s Mama and the others who started detox within the last weeke or 2. How are you guys doing? Still craving?

I have been clean so far today, but damn it’s tuff. I want that stuff so abd, even though I hate the dependency of it, I love how it “cures” my anxiety. From one of your earlier posts I saw the 5-HTP suggestion and am adding it to my regimen (which is the Thomas recipie).

Thanks again for this place.

35 southernmom { 03.23.10 at 12:18 pm }

I guess I have been adicted for 13 years, since I had my daughter by c-section and my husband was abusing vicodin and got the Dr. to keep refilling my scrip. I then went on to Dr. shopping to get more and the excuse I was using for pain is no longer viable and I can’t get the pills anymore. I have 10 left and I am freaking out, I take 3-4 7.5′s a day and drink quite a bit with them. I don’t feel I can do anything without them, daily stuff, being there for my kids, socializing, doing anything. I truly feel I can’t do anything without them and that’s why I am so scared to have to give them up. I don’t have the time to go through WD, I have such a busy calendar and all I think is that even if I do get through WD, I won’t be “me” I won’t be able to be the mom, friend, partner, etc that I am when I’m medicated. I feel I will be an empty shell and I will be unable to do any of things I have to do. I am very scared.
To those that have gone through WD, how do you feel after? Do you get your get-up-and-go back? Do you have any energy or enthusiasm for things you did before? What do I have to look forward too? Will I just be a lifeless zombie, or can I go back to be super-mom without the help of my little friends?
Any input is helpful.

36 brandon smith { 03.25.10 at 8:31 am }

A couple years ago i wrecked my ankle. Doc gave me some vicodin to get me through until surgery. After surgery i was on cruches for 8 weeks. My ankle now felt better but my back was jacked from being on cruches. So he continued to give me pills for a while. About a year later i started having elbow issues. did PT for a while again the dr gave me pills to manage the pain. had the elbow surgery. continued pills for a couple months. dr cut me off. still having continued pain i found my own way of getting them. was on them for about a year. 3-6 es a day. recently i decided i wanted to see if i do without. i have been clean 6 days. Wow does this suck. not having the chills like some have discussed. but just the pain and the rls, no sleep is insane. last night i took a long bath with epsom salt. i slept great. legs didn’t bother me all night. Still suffering constant pain in my back, knees, ankles, elbows.
My delema? whats worse have a drug problem and feeling good. Being able to play ball with my kids, make love to my wife, and just generally feeling decent. Or having no drug problem and being miserable. I don’t want to move around, or my body hurts.

37 Shmoe { 03.26.10 at 5:56 am }

To southernmom – I’m a dad, but I totally feel the same way. I stayed clean for a week and now just went back on. The depression and anxiety was horrible and seemed to be getting worse. I have been working with a psychitrist and I am going to try to get him to change my meds (fluvoxamine and buspar) as they are not doing the job. Otherwise I just don;’t know what tto do either. I’m sorry this was not very encouraging for you, but I feel the same way.

Brandon – yeah, i would rather be a good father and husband and take the drugs. The only problem is that they are illegal and I don’t have a reliable source. And if my wife found out I think she would turn me in. So I figure I have to keep tryin gto quit. This sure sucks thought.

38 chris { 03.26.10 at 3:28 pm }

i am a 36 yr old professional who needs to w.d. asap. scared as hell but, yet determaned. i have been on vike es or better for about 1-1 1/2 years. now i dont think i have ever taken more than 12 in a day. but this all started wth a gallbladder surgery that went from the scope type to a wide open 10 inch incision ( i know no excuse). but i am sorta like the other readers/posters on here. i work days mon-fri have no personal or vacation time. i dont think even if i started to detox on a fri, by monday i would be able to stand let alone work. i did detox in oct. but according to my er dr, i have “the swine flu”. i thought i was dying, cried didnt sleep off work for 7 days it took 10 days to totally feel ok. we (my hubby and i) really thought thats what was wrong with me lol. but long story short, it wasnt and i didnt figure this out till i read some of these blogs on here. i am asking for any help. anything. i get rls now, i cant imagine what it will be like detoxing, scares the hell outta me. i cant take tylenol pm, flexerill, or any of the benzos because i have a small seizure history (yes i am in the medical feild so i know if i do seizures are very common) help!!!!!
my weening phase (i am in right now) is this i take 2 es in the am around 7 am, 2 es 7pm, and one at bed time. i am gonna drop the 7pm to 1 next week, then to 1,1,and1, the week after. during next week i was told to take the supplements. my end day is may 1. i wanna be vike/wd symptom free. does anyone see this as able to be done? any question/response is not a dumb one. anything will be accepted as helpful hints. i am scared to death, dont wanna seize in front of my kids or family, only reason why i am trying to ween etc. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

39 southernmom { 03.27.10 at 11:49 am }

I am trying to “wean” myself also. I definitely need a pill in the am or I can’t get out of bed, I’m nauseous, stomach cramps, can’t focus, can’t function actually. So I take the pill and 2 hours later here comes the pain again… Problem, I am out as of this am and I can’t get anymore.
Hell yes I’m scared, I have no idea what is going to happen to me tomorrow, or the next week. I can’t tell anyone because they don’t know what I’ve been doing so I am alone.
I have some huge projects to finish and I don’t think I will be able to even come up with a creative thought to finish them. I just know my family, job and friends are all going to see there is something wrong with me and I can’t tell them the truth.
I wish I was the praying type but I doubt that would help anyway.
I thank you all for sharing your thoughts, it really helps knowing I’m not alone, in fact it makes me feel like less of person for what I’ve done to myself and those who love me.
Wish me luck.

40 Tormented Angel { 03.29.10 at 5:43 am }

Oh…SouthernMom…I’m on day 2 without and feel like I could crawl into a hole until I can function again. I so desperately want to find just a few to help me function. I work full time, run my own partime side job and in the beginning of starting my own business, full on. I’m scared to death to go to work today because I cant think clearly, can’t control my crying, am beyond fatigued and only have enough stamina to last for a few hours before I have to lay down and sleep. My heart is racing and hand sweating…
I totally relate to your secrecy…I’m a hypocrite to everyone that I love and mentor…
My question for anyone, is do I continue cold turkey and suffer through or will getting a few to take as a weaning process make it more tolerable?

41 metoo... { 03.30.10 at 5:59 am }

Southern Mom and Tormented Angel….Get to the GNC store and get some potassium and L-Tyrosine, as it says to in the Thomas recipe….They will help you IMMENSELY!!! Put your faith in them, and ride out the storm. I too am tapering, and preparing to change my addicted life too. I DO believe in prayer, and SouthernMom, if you just give prayer a try, it WILL work for you. Just TRY. Keep us posted here, and KNOW that you are both being prayed for and thought of today!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS…

42 southernmom { 03.30.10 at 12:55 pm }

Tormented Angel and Meetoo,
I so appreciate your comments. I went through 2 days without and spent the whole time throwing up, trying to relax in hot baths, unable to even keep sips of water down, I couldn’t even talk to my family or friends. Today I was able to get 2 more pills and took them both and felt incredible. Tomorrow I’ll be back to square one. I am going to try to multi vitamin with potasium and the L-Tyrosine, hopefully I will able to function because I was unable to leave my bed for the 2 days without.
As far as prayer goes, I just don’t have it in right now because prayer has failed me and my family so much in the past. I know I can’t rely on all my problems to be fixed by prayer but it seems like a huge waste of time when I pray every day and nothing changes. My doubts lie in the bible and and the more I read the bible and the more I take from it, the more I have doubts. The bible was written by men and that reason alone make me skeptical, because I have many men in my life and the majority of them have some pretty bizarre ideas and thoughts. When/If I pray I do pray to God to give me the wisdom and strength I need and so far I get nothing, so it’s hard right now to ask for help and left alone, scared and worrying about whether my life is worth living.
When I wake up tomorrow and have to go through another day of hell, the only thing I’ll be praying for is my family and hope they don’t hate for what I have done to us.

43 metoo { 03.30.10 at 1:23 pm }

Ok, southernmom….I will pray on your behalf then. Let’s see if that will work! I am not a Bible reader, persay, because of all the things you mentioned, but I am a spiritual person, and I know that God listens AND hears, even when we think He doesn’t. I will seriously be praying hard for YOU. :) Cuz I KNOW you can make it through this!! I have faith in you!!
You should get a separate potassium tablet….I think those really helped my RLS a LOT. Don’t be afraid to take a few a day!!
One thing that helped me a lot on my several tours through this detox was remembering that “you’re not the only apple on the tree…” So many others are suffering, many in the same way you are. We are never alone, and if we can help someone else along the way, it helps US more than we can imagine. Ask God to send you someone who needs something that YOU have…he always answers that prayer!!!! ALWAYS. Ask it, and be ready to give what you can to someone else who needs you. It will help get you out of yourself for a bit.
I hope this isn’t too sappy for you, I guess I am feeling ultra emotional today!! Thanks for bearing with me!!

WE ARE NOT ALONE. :) I’ll be on my knees.

44 Shmoe { 03.31.10 at 12:28 pm }

Southernmom I can so relate to your situation. I will pray for you too.

45 Shmoe { 03.31.10 at 12:29 pm }

Oh, I am now in my umpteenth taper down – this week it’s been just 2 a day, next week 1 and then I really hope I can do it this time.

46 metoo { 04.01.10 at 4:32 am }

Hey, SouthernMom and Tormented Angel….please post..! Are you two ok??? I’m over here praying my head off!!!! :D Please post, even if just to say hello. I am thinking of you both!!!

47 Mike { 04.01.10 at 5:11 am }


I am glad that I have found this site. I stopped taking any meds on sunday of this week and have not taken anything since noon on sunday. It has been rough and I have dealt but I developed some sort of issue with my ears. They feel like they are filled with water and it is driving me nuts and I am worried about it bad. I came off pain killers over a year ago after taking them daily for 4 years and stayed clean till I hurt my knee and got surgery. I took vicodin and darvocet on and off for a couple months because of the pain and then felt that dreaded feeling. I knew I had to stop and did. It’s been 4 days now and doesn’t feell like last time, it’s a little more rough. I am drawing alot of support from reading the posts hear and am totally motivated to stopping. I do not feel the desire to take any more, I absolutely don’t want to I just want to feel better.

48 Mike { 04.01.10 at 8:11 am }

In reading a lot of the posts I can totally relate to about everything everyone has said in one way of the other. When I first detoxed over a year ago after many failed attempts I did it for myself and only that, not love, life, family or any of that. That is why I truly believed it worked. Now I am doping it all over again and the one thought in my mind is I know I am a better person drug free than with taking them. No matter how good, invincible, creative or motivated you feel taking them it ends when it wears off. It’s a brutal cycle and only you can break it, no medicines, crutches or anything will do it for you (even though soem things do aid) just you making the concious decision to follow through. It does get better and doesn’t last forever (the bad feelings) and slowly you will wake up to the person you were and hoepfully stonger. I believe this and it is what drives me, I know I can’t continue to take them as it will ruin lives, relationships, and more. Just remind yourself you can do it and force yourself to get up and move even if for a little bit. I am still suffering some effects but jsut excersied and the endorphins are carrying me right now. Every day is one step. Good luck everyone.

49 southernmom { 04.01.10 at 10:12 am }

Hey, sorry I haven’t been able to post, leaving the bed or the tub is agony. The only reason I am up today is because I actually found a pill in an old purse and I was able to do something, anything.
Thank you so much for your prayers, I know God is never going to give me more than I can handle, I just need to find some strength, where, I have no idea.
My family is so worried, they want me to go to the ER because I can’t eat and I am just a zombie. I know I can’t keep hoping I’ll find a pill somewhere so I can take care of my home for a few hours. Sleep is the only thing that helps, at least I don’t feel anything and I don’t dream. I can’t even get to GNC to get the suppliments and I can’t ask anyone to get them for me in case they know what I am using it for.
I know I should just quit and get through this but like I said I don’t know who I’ll be after I detox. I was a very happy upbeat, do it all, go everywhere, volunteer for everything, running my own business on top of everything mom. Who will I be without my little friends?
Wow depression really sucks and so does self-pity, I hate people like me!

50 metoo { 04.01.10 at 10:48 am }

Well, personally, I know exactly how you feel. I hope you keep finding little pills everywhere! AT LEAST ENOUGH TO GET YOU THROUGH UNTIL you can PLAN your detox. Sometimes NOW just isn’t the right time. I SO understand you!!!!! I am still praying though!!!! I’ll alter my prayer now so that you will find the relief you need….that your little friends will keep finding their way to you!! ;) Next time you find a couple, GET TO GNC. ok??? And also get some “Ensure” liquid vitamin drinks too. I have issues with eating at times like these too, and the drinks will keep your shorts on, at least!

Hang in there. Find some more pills. Plan it out for next time!!!

I’m with you in spirit!

51 southernmom { 04.01.10 at 12:38 pm }

If you don’t mind my asking, have you gone through this before, if so, how often. I only ask because my main concern is if I get through this and become whoever I become, am I going to relapse if I get the chance? I really only want to do this onece and just get over it, if that’s possible. But if I can can find another source will I go back until I run out again and start over?
I am just trying to figure out if I am going to be me again or if I need to let my family know that I am going to be a nasty mess for however long.
Why can’t I think straight?
Why do I feel so bad that I can’t stop hurting my family?
How much more pathetic can I get?
My life is so in significant yet I I need to be there for my kids and they are just bugging the living daylights out of me, for no reason at all and they don’t deserve this. I have no tears left to cry, just shame and remorse. I’m at the place where I feel everyone would be better off without me.

52 metoo { 04.01.10 at 12:51 pm }

Oh, yes, I have gone through it plenty of times. I started using hydrocodone about six years ago….first occasionally, and then when both my parents died, along with another close family member, it turned into a daily thing. Within the span of four months, I lost 3/4 of my foundation. I had started taking them for migraines, and soon found a source who keeps me supplied. I have been out of them quite a few times in the course of six years….funny thing, when you don’t REALIZE that what you’re going through is a detox, (that sounds stupid), you’re just pissed at the world because you are out of pills.
Currently, I am tapering. I have 3 pills left. I am trying to decide if I want to splurge and have two tonight. They are 7.5 vicodins. I WOULD like to save them to be able to take 1/2 and make that be it for the day, but I am just NOT STRONG ENOUGH.
I was committed to quiting in November, and I lasted about a week. I’m in a tough spot right now, with marital issues, not related to my abuse….but then again….what isn’t related to it??? Who am I kidding??
SouthernMom, I hope you don’t relapse…and if you’re strong enough, and give yourself enough pep talks, you can make it. AND I think you’ll be better than before!!!!!! Do you remeber what it felt like to feel REAL joy?????? I am trying to get my JOY back. more later!!!!! Keep typing!!! :)

53 metoo { 04.01.10 at 1:53 pm }

And I have taken 5-10 per day…I am tired of them ruling my life, and my emotions. I know for certain when I get more later this month, I will take them….the game I play of “oh, THIS TIME I will respect them” is a game I never win. When I reread this, I sound miserable and pathetic as they come. It USED to be fun. NOW it’s a ball and chain. I need strength, and I know I have it inside me…I just don’t know how to get it out. I used to have joy…but I’ve misplaced it. :( So, SouthernMom….WHO’S pathetic???? It’s not you, my friend.

54 Shmoe { 04.02.10 at 5:17 am }

Trust me – I am jsut as pathetic as anyone here, porbably more so. I too am stuck trying to taper and quit for the umpteenth time, but it is somehow validating to hear from others in the same boat. You guys write well and have perfectly described this crappy journey that I am on too. Thanks you, and I’ll pray of us all.

55 southernmom { 04.02.10 at 1:43 pm }

OK I feel real bad about throwing the “pathetic card”. I never wanted to compare myself with anything anyone else is going through, maybe I am throwing a huge pity party because I haven’t gone through anything like this before, but I truly never wanted to make anyone else feel bad.
I agree this one crappy journey, can you believe I was jealous when metoo said they were going to get more pills??? I want more pills so bad :-(
I think it helps talking with others that are going down this lonely path with me. I am even encouraged by things you all write, somehow it makes me feel less desperate and that maybe we all can get through this together (no, I don’t mean in a Kumbaya way) but sharing, encouraging, understanding and being sympathetic seems to help me feel like less of an butt head for doing this this to myself and my family (by the way I am buzzed again because I was able to score a few more pills from someone that really needed them, God I suck so bad!!!)
Your prayers, your words, and your concern are the things that are probably keeping me going right now. Thank you!

56 meetoo { 04.04.10 at 2:28 pm }

I found something good that helps! Google it! Kratom. I bought some online, and it helps get over the withdrawals….and it’s LEGAL.

57 Pete { 04.04.10 at 9:05 pm }

Hey all, was wondering if anyone had any advice on taking suboxone? Trying to quit and my friend gave me a few but I don’t think he really knows how to take them. So if you have any, or know where I can find so
e advice please share. Thank you so much.


58 metoo { 04.05.10 at 4:30 am }

How is everyone doing out there today???? Please post SOMETHING so I can measure the power of prayer!!!

Well, I took my last three 7.5 vicodin on Thursday evening. I’ve been pumping the potassium supplements, L-Tyrosine, a zinc (maybe two a day). It’s Monday morning, and wow….I have had NO RLS, which is usually the very worst of it physically for me. I HAVE been anxious, and quite depressed, but most of that was in actually preparing for what I thought was going to be absolute horror. This weekend was a wonderful one for me. WITH NO VICODIN. Ok….so…I had been taking 5-10 7.5′s a day….was my lack of physical withdrawal symptoms BECAUSE I have been pumping potassium and L-Tyrosine??? I had to do some pretty serious self talk too…and of course, I have been praying every time I turn around! Praying for all of us.

AND, I found “Kratom”. I had ordered it last week in preparation. In thinking about it, I figured there ought to be an HERB out there that can make you feel as good as vicodin does. I FOUND IT. And you know what?? It’s herbal, it’s legal. I feel like I CAN go without the vic’s, and use this kratom when I WANT to. I can drive it, not let IT DRIVE ME. And, if I don’t want to take it, I can know that’s ok too, there are no proven withdrawal symptoms with recreational use. Do google it! I am feeling hopeful for the first time in a LONG time. I have felt so GUILTY under the thumb of vicodin. Kratom will be that vacation that I so need some days!!! Without having to take it every day to maintain and not withdraw.

I’m sure there are lots of folks with more information and knowledge on kratom than I have. I just think for me, this is the answer. Oh, and I got some SAMe vitamins, some B-6, B-12, and mood boosting teas too.

I hope everyone is well!!!!! Please post~~~especially SouthernMom and Tormented Angel, and our dear Shmoe !!!!

59 fatigued { 04.05.10 at 4:00 pm }

I just wanted to share one thing with those that are quitting .. I took my last dose 3-26-2010 .. I was thinking that the worst of the WD’s were over come Wed (5 days later) and for the most part they were. I’m on day 10 now and I can sleep at night .. smoking *good* pot really helps (if it has a seed in it, your not smoking the good stuff) .. for what its worth ..

However .. still dragging, no energy, basically I feel like the life has been sucked literally out of my body .. I have felt this way since Wednesday. From the research I’ve done, it can take up to a month (or more) for your body to recover ..

I hate to sound negative .. but I also feel people should be aware that you ‘may’ not feel 100% after the 5 day detox .. this was only the beginning for me and is definitely the worst of it….however I had to return to work today….for which I did absolutely jack shit

60 Shmoe { 04.06.10 at 4:10 am }

I’m down to 2 vics a day, I hope I can still with it. It really is so comforting to know that others are going through this shit too.

I would love to score some Kratom, but that is out of the question for me, as my family has no idea what is going on, and they simply can’t find out. However, I do have some pot and it does help. I really hope I can quit this time.

Thanks you all so much for being here.

61 metoo { 04.06.10 at 5:48 am }

Hey, fatigued….have you tried the L-Tyrosine with Vit. B-6? Have you tried to find mood improving supplements?? THEY WORK. Pump them, sit back, and have FAITH. This will be only day 6 for me, and I KNOW that it is early for me yet in my detox, BUT, I can honestly say I haven’t felt this good, physically AND emotionally in a long time. Really, please, go get some supplements. I just got the SAMe, and will give that a good shot. It can’t hurt!!
Hey, Shmoe…glad to hear you’re still tapering….I wish you had a local “head shop” where you could probably find some Kratom. If you can hide some pot, you can sure hide some kratom. Just sayin….and you won’t believe how it helps! You can also find it on the internet. I don’t know if I can say where exactly on the internet here, so I won’t. I wish there was a private message thing here!
Always praying!! And I am hoping SouthernMom is doing ok….thinking of you…please post!!

62 KRISTY { 04.06.10 at 7:25 am }

I’m buying some Kratom today so I’ll keep ya’ll updated. I’m so excited to try this, because the withdrawals are keeping me from quitting. I’m tired of spending $200/ week on v’s! Hopefully this will help, thanks for posting about this!!!!

63 southernmom { 04.06.10 at 7:41 am }

Sorry I haven’t been able to post I’ve got back to back weeks of my kids on Spring Break. I ran into a friend I used to party with at the beach for Easter and she quit cold turkey about 6 months ago(found out she was pregnant) and I know she thought she was doing me a favor when she gave me what she had left, and it will help me get through spring break hell, but I was ready to jump. Now I have a reason to postpone and hopefully find some of the kratom metoo was talking about, load up at GNC and take the bull by the horns.
I hope you guys are still around when my time comes, you gave me the strength to take a good hard look at myself and I didn’t like what I saw. Once I’m out (again) I sure could use your kind words, encouragement and even your prayers.
Stay tuned :-)

64 metoo { 04.06.10 at 7:45 am }

I will be right here with you, SUPERmom!!!! :) You can COUNT on my prayers and my support!!! Is there a way to private message here?? I would like to give you more info on Kratom!!! Can I say kratomking.com CAPSULES??????

65 southernmom { 04.06.10 at 11:21 am }

I was also able to place an order on-line from the web-site you recomended metoo. This site says it’s legal drug, so I don’t see a problem with sharing if it helps even one person get through this hell (selfishly, I hope it’s me). Can you believe I am almost excited about quitting, I know frustrated said they still haven’t shaken off the down side.
My gym actually offers b-12 shots once a week and I am heading to GNC tomorrow and as soon as I ride my house of 8-10 kids every day, I am going to go for it. If I have any pills left over I am going to have to make a pact with myself to lock them up and when an emergency drop ins (like they always do) I will have something to get me through it or hopefully I won’t need it at all. My hope is the latter.
Metoo, a special thank you for being so upbeat and encouraging, you are making a difference in my life that I am truly grateful for.

66 metoo { 04.06.10 at 11:37 am }

YAY!!! Thank you, SouthernMom….that brings tears to my eyes!!!!! I have had you on my mind and heart since I read your first post. I hope that in some small way I have helped you, the way you have helped me! We are all in this together!
It is nice stuff, this kratom. And, well, if it helps get us through and off this crap, it’s a great thing. I hope you ordered a decent quantity….I have been taking 8 capsules at a time. IT SUCKS swallowing all those pills, but once you get them down, about a half hour to forty five minutes later, you are pretty much on cloud nine. Don’t mix them with vics though. Have you written down your shopping list for GNC?? Most important for me is the potassium. I can’t believe that this last time I had NO rls!!! Absolutely NONE. And no lost sleep either…..And with kratom, I am considering telling my source that I don’t want the vics anymore.
I had another thought this morning, SouthernMom….I prayed that you might be given whatever you needed to make it through this. I prayed for you to find some more vics to tide you over until you could do this right. Here we are. GOD LISTENS AND HEARS…. :) Your post made my day!!

67 metoo { 04.06.10 at 11:50 am }

With the 50 gram buy you will get 95 capsules…just an fyi I forgot to post in my previous post. I just ordered the 200 grams, and another friend will share it with me. She tried some of mine yesterday, and LOVED IT.
Everything’s gonna be ok. :)

68 southernmom { 04.06.10 at 12:07 pm }

I am not sure how many I ordered, but they do offer overnight shipping if I need more. You know, I have never had a problem with RLS and I slepp well with about 4 Tylenol PM’s everynight. It’s my creative side that suffers when I don’t have my pills. It’s like I can’t think or create and that’s my job and my life. I have to be up and outgoing and always making everyone happy. That’s my fear, I won’t be there for what I need to do and for those that need me to be there for them. Most important my kids, they really work me and I hate to let them down, but I know I’ll be a better mom if I’m not addicted to drugs and alcohol.
I was thinking once they go back to school I have a month to clean my act up and be the mom they deserve for the summer.
I am also worried that my sexual appetite might waiver. I love my husband and we have a great sex life when I’m high, what is going to happen when I’m not high? Will I still want…? Wow sorry to reveal so much, but so much of my life has been wrapped around this the blasted addiction.
I have my GNC list, pottasium, lots of B vitamins, L-Tyrosine. I have a super multi-vitamin I have been taking and some C. Soon I can add the Kratom to the mix, at least I’ll get my daily water requirement from taking all those pills!
I am going to use your mantra…
Everything’s going to be OK :-)

69 erica { 04.06.10 at 12:14 pm }

This is my 4th day clean i was taking narco 10mg like 8 to 11 pills a day . i started due to heriated disks that pitches my siaitca nerveand goes down my left leg. this started 3 years ago . i was never on any meds before this nor did i do drugs ..this changed my life and now i am an addict . iam angry ,sad ashameed of it .I feel I just wanna take them i wanna use and i feel better when iam on them ..BUT I KNOW THATS MY BRAIN TELLING ME THAT NON SENCE) WHAT I FEEL NOW IS SADNESS DOWN AND DEPPRESSED . my back flares up when i am at work its the worst i am always on my feet,dragging and not carefull (i am in the medical profeesion) iam 26 and i know i cant be on pain meds my whole life. I just feel shitty my physical withdrawls got better i was taking tiny doses of suboxone . I am depreesed and and no spark in me and dont feel like doing anything ..I am a lil afraid of resorting to anti deppressent meds dont wanna be on something else for the rest of my life i know i have an addicting personality.. Does ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVISE ..

70 erica { 04.06.10 at 12:23 pm }

does the kratom really feel like or make u feel as if u were taking a vicoden? and if so how much do u take ..tablet or as atea.. i just found this out (about kratom) iam checking out the website thanx

71 erica { 04.06.10 at 12:56 pm }

do u know of some helpful vitamines to help with the sadness and mood? WOW i am so happy i found this site and reading these post makes it feel like i am not alone and i could relate to people who understand me .. THANK YOU EVERYONE !!

72 metoo { 04.06.10 at 2:03 pm }

From what I’ve experienced personally just this past weekend, your sex life will be BETTER with kratom. WAY BETTER than with the vics!!! :D
I think the best part for me is I don’t have to feel guilty that I am taking an illegal drug. My tiny prescription doesn’t hardly last a week, and then I’m on to my source’s. Usually at the end of the month, I am a week shy (at least) of more pills. Then it’s detox AGAIN. UGH!! I think this new stuff I found is better than the vics. I can’t wait to see what you think, southernmom!!!
Yeah. Buy water!!!! :)

73 fatigued { 04.07.10 at 4:34 am }

I have not tried the L-Tyrosine with Vit. B-6, but I have been taking lots of C and B v’s. I picked up a Super B-Complex bottle about a month ago (I’ve been taking v-B for about a year now .. heard from my doc a while back that it is really good for the body)
Today I am feeling better .. I called in a favor from my neighbor and he hooked me up with 4mg Suboxone (half an 8mg). I took 1mg last night and another 1mg this morning and I’m feeling a LOT better. I’m not high or anything like that, but I feel NORMAL with just a slight bit of fatigue .. that’s probably because I only got around 6 hours sleep last night. I took the 1mg around 8pm last night and then couldn’t go to sleep for a bit.

I will go to GNC today and see about picking up some L-Tyrosine .. I have also heard of and tried Kratom before in the past, but it was when I was still on the vics. I didn’t get anything off of it, but that is probably because I was on the vics :) .. I will probably call up my friend that has this again and see if I can buy a little to try before I buy some. For those about to try Kratom .. FYI it does NOT mix well with water. My friend buys it by the bag and it looks like finely ground up weed .. pill form would be better .. a lot better. When you mix it with water it turns into a paste and is difficult to swallow .. I just thought I’d mention this. She has told me that it does, however, mix well with apple sauce .. so if anyone out there likes apple sauce .. well give it a try.
Well I am at work this morning … finally able to go back .. hope this 1mg sub keeps me going for the rest of the day. When I get some Kratom, I’ll report back how it deals with my PAWS to let everyone know .. but from the way it sounds .. this appears to be an answer. Thanks to everyone for the feedback!

74 fatigued { 04.07.10 at 4:46 am }

Here is a quote that I found from another website that I was also going to look into .. has anyone tried DLPA during PAWS? If so, please provide some personal feedback on this .. thanks!

“D-L-Phenylalanine (DLPA) for instance, is an amino acid involved in the production of endorphins. Lack of intake of this amino acid could result in a low physical and emotional pain threshold. Another person may have a diet with adequate DLPA, but does not convert it to endorphins as well as most. They would need more DLPA than most in order to produce the necessary endorphins. There are, of course, many other factors and nutrients involved in this process, and we target the precursors for endorphin production in the appropriate ways.”

75 metoo { 04.07.10 at 6:28 am }

Hey, erica….I would try SAMe for a mood booster. I got some a few days ago, and I don’t know what is helping, but SOMETHING is helping me! I bought the SAMe, B-12, B-6….already had the L-Tyrosine and potassium and zinc. I’m just going to keep taking them, because something is helping my mood, and most importantly, my morning anxiety. I decided it was time to take a break from alcohol too, so I haven’t had any drinks for a couple of days. I am also drinking at least 60 oz. of water a day. It’s just TIME, you know??
As far as Kratom goes, I bought the capsules. YES, for me, they feel even better than vicodin!! HARD TO BELIEVE, isn’t it?? You need to figure out how much is in each capsule to figure out your dosage. I have been taking about 4 grams….(10 capsules). 4 grams is a low dosage, and it depends on your tolerance level from vicodin. I had been taking 5-10 7.5 vics a day. If you take too small a dose, you won’t feel it, but if you take too much you will barf. I dun wanna barf. LOL!!!! I also had some powdered Kratom, and it went down fine with yogurt. I mixed it in hot cocoa once and was going to hurl. I won’t do that again! I am just glad I stumbled upon Kratom, because now there is something legal that does the trick.
Southernmom, I’ll be interested to hear how your Kratom feels!!! Please post when you take it! I’m here for ya!
Still praying for all of us!!!

76 southernmom { 04.07.10 at 10:59 am }

To Fatigued,
I was researching suboxone and then watched a Dr. Drew rehab show and they use suboxone as a help to detox from heroin!!! Then they said it was almost as hard to get off the suboxone as it was to kick heroin and methodone. I don’t know if this is right but I would hate for you to get hooked on another drug that is going to make it hard for yout to detox again.
I am going to trust metoo and do the vitamins, suppliments and kratom. I don’t know if I can give up my evening cocktails because they really are a huge part of my social life and it would be obvious if I gave that up and was still in a pissy mood. I hate having to put on a face for family and friends, but I don’t think could handle knowing what I have been doing because I have been going through their medicine cabinets and sat ther listening while they accused other friends of ripping them off. This disease so sucks, I can’t belive what I have done to people I love.
Well, I am waiting on my K order and see what happens. I do know that I will not do anything like I have done in the past to get more pills and metoo, I feel we have a bond and yes, I feel your prayers are helping me because I feel stronger than I ever have to get over this.
Thank you my friends!

77 metoo { 04.07.10 at 2:23 pm }

Heck, southernmom, I just gave up alcohol for a couple days….more to prove to myself that I could do it than anything. I just had a nice visit with my sister, and I’m about 4 beers in now! I just wanted to make sure I am not addicted to alcohol too. Hey, I think you and I could have a heck of a time~do you sing karaoke too???? lol!!!!! I had been sharing my vicodin with my sister also, and now I just shared with her some kratom. She couldn’t feel the kratom so much, but she wasn’t on an EMPTY STOMACH~~~~VERY IMPORTANT part to start on kratom. She is going to try it again tomorrow. I’ll let you know about how she likes it.
Southernmom, I hope you love your kratom! And I hope we hear from Shmoe soon too….doesn’t he know how I worry??? And how about Tormented Angel…..Please post, people….we are all in this together, and together we can beat this stuff!!!!
Praying still…and I LIKE KUMBAYA!!!! lmao!!!!

78 Shmoe { 04.08.10 at 6:16 am }

metoo – thanks so much for all of your posts!! Both to myself and others, they always give me a boost. I am down to 1 vic a day, definately got teh body aches and RLS, but not so abd I can’t deal. I think my doc has the meds right this time (cymbalta and buspar) because so far I have not had that simply crushing depression with allteh anxiety that comes with it.

So maybe, just maybe I can do it this time. I am praying for me and all of us. too.

Hey southernmom – you struck such a chorch with me there when you mentioned going through friends medicen cabinets. For the past 6-8 months, that has been my normal thing to do. Every time I’m at someone’s house, it’s guarenteed I’ll need to 1) pee and 2) go into the kitchen when no one else is there. Take a quick look around, and if that special pill bottle is there I snatch a few.

Never told anyone that! And I tell myself it’s not hurting anyone cuz I never take all the pills, just a few, but I hate doing it and feel really guilty and just kind of like a scum bag for doing it. Example – a frriend had surgery last winter and I was the first to visit him at home – yeah what a good guy :( – I just knew I’d found a short term source.

Thanks again to all of you for being here!

79 southernmom { 04.08.10 at 1:09 pm }

Hey Shmoe, I know it’s hard to look in the mirror and see the truth, it was hard for me to come clean for the first time on this site and I am so proud of you for reaching in there, really down in there and acknowledging the unimaginable, that’s what I call it, stealing from my friends to feed my my addiction. I am so sorry that I did that to my friends and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be this honest except for this blessed site!
OK metoo, I got my “K” today and I think I messed up, I ordered “Maeng Da Kratom Incense Capsules Bag” and on the receipt it said”The product(s) in this shipment are not intended for human consumption”!!! What did I do wrong? I hope I haven’t blown over $40 for the wrong thing.
Also I went to my pharmacy to get the Pottassium and it had Glutomate in it also, did I get this wrong too?
I am trying to get all my ducks in a row because it looks like I get to go through my 2nd week of spring break with a bunch of 13 year old girls without anything. I am totally freaking!!!
One last thing, I don’t think I could think about trying to kick this if it wasn’t for all of you, I really need your input and encouragement, and metoo, I actually prayed last night, for me, my family and all of you and I cried knowing that I really felt my prayers would be answered. Thank you for bringing that back into my life

80 metoo { 04.08.10 at 2:34 pm }

COOL, Southernmom!! The Maeng Da is supposed to be even better than the Bali that I got! And, yes, they all say incense capsules…not intended for human consumption. But that’s what they are. You can take them! But do it at least 2-3 hours after eating, to try to do it on an empty stomach….

Enjoy your kratom!!! And me n Jesus are so glad you’ve prayed….that’s what we really wanted….:) You rock, southernmom!!!! And you can do this!!!

81 metoo { 04.08.10 at 3:05 pm }

Hey, Southernmom, Shmoe, and anyone else out there who is up for a challenge~~~~~As you are going through your detox, how about a little book to “take your mind off things”???? I would like you to make a trip to a book store, and pick up a copy of “The Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes to”…I can’t remember the author’s name right off the top of my head. This is a book that is read one chapter at a time, and they are short chapters….but this book is a great one. I was just thinking about it, and I think that book would be especially poignant during our recoveries. Chapter two is my favorite!! It will prove to you that God IS listening..

As far as the potassium goes, who knows!! I have 99mg…and that is supposed to be only 3% of the RDA. I just take one a few times a day, whenever I think of it. I’d look at the glutomate as an added benefit I guess!

Isn’t it great that we have this website?? I DO feel connected to all of you, and it’s awesome to know that we aren’t going through this alone!! Hey, I guess I’m on day 7~~I even had to stop and count. Thank goodness for kratom. I hope it serves some of you as well as it has served me. Monday I should get another prescription filled….any suggestions as to how I should handle that?? I wish I didn’t like to be f’d up so much. It seems that since my folks died, I have real trouble finding the joy that I KNOW exists. (And it’s only been over 5 freakin’ years..lol!) What does anyone else here do to laugh and giggle???

I am thankful for each and every one of you!!!!! :D

82 metoo { 04.09.10 at 5:18 am }

Hey, all!
I am just posting again so that this thread is a part of the recent comments thingie, so that we can find it again!
I realized that my first day of not taking vics was April 1st, so actually yesterday was day 8 for me, today is day 9.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and I realized how GOOD I felt….so I was probably awake for an hour praying even more for all of us. Something is working. Something can work for all of us. There is hope, and we are going to make it through this!!!
:) Everything’s gonna be ok… :)

83 Van { 04.09.10 at 4:36 pm }

Been taking 6-10 7.5 vicodins for about two months now following torn ACL and surgery. I’m pretty deep into rehab and don’t need the vicodin anymore for pain, but I’ve got a pretty bad addiction, and it has been a bear to deal with. I’m going to try this method, as my attempts to compensate for WD with booze and pot haven’t worked. Heartrate, muscle ache and restlessness are definitely the worst part of this. I haven’t been able to get past one or two days of WD without digging out my pill bottle.

84 fatigued { 04.09.10 at 4:41 pm }

Southernmom – you are right about the suboxone, they can be addictive if taken regularly over the course of time .. and like any drug, you must watch your dose. Research it a little bit more and you will find that Subutex and Suboxone are both used to treat withdrawls from any opiod. I have done A LOT of research over the subjects lately and that’s why I’ve never done over 1mg in a single day. I just needed something so that I could work. I’m going cold turkey this weekend since I don’t have to work and then see how I feel on Monday .. hopefully I won’t need it at all after this weekend. Plus I picked up some Kratom to try out in case I do begin to feel the PAWS again.

I found this off wikipedia in regards to Kratom addiction:
“Kratom is mildly addictive and withdrawal is possible after frequent heavy use. While rarely severe or disabling, withdrawal symptoms can include depression, fatigue, restlessness, teary eyes, and insomnia. It is comparable to morphine withdrawal in character and caffeine withdrawal in severity.”

It doesn’t seem to bad as long as you are not a heavy user. I also found a great study that was done over Kratom addiction here:

It was very good reading for those interested in Kratom. Hope this information helps and is informative.

85 jen { 04.10.10 at 5:07 am }

on day 7 and I take all the vitamins but doesnt seem to make me have any energy at all. Thats is the problem now no energy and on edge.

86 metoo { 04.10.10 at 7:52 pm }

Van, how are you doing???? I am thinking of you, and praying for you as well. Southernmom, how is the kratom working for you?? David (on the part 3 thread) has tried it, and likes it too! Van, that might be something for you to check out also~~Heaven knows it can’t hurt!!!
Thinking of all of you, so please post….

87 Shmoe { 04.12.10 at 4:02 am }

Metoo – Thanks again for being a force for good here. I’m on day 2 of no vics, it’s no fun. Will try Kratom if I can puchase at a local head shop….

88 metoo { 04.12.10 at 6:30 am }

I’m on your team, Shmoe, you can do this thing!!! You’ve spent a lot of time “looking forward” to the time you actually quit! Your taper was long and slow, so this can’t be as awful as quitting cold turkey.
So how are you feeling, Shmoe?? And what are you taking to help?? I hope you can find some kratom at a head shop!!! Let me know how you do!!!!
You can do this, Shmoe!!!! :) It’s YOUR time to shine!!!

89 Shmoe { 04.12.10 at 8:20 am }

metoo – you are awesome. Thanks so much.

I am doing the Thomas recipe pretty closely, take my B vits, l-Tyrosine, potassium and multi’s every day. The physical part is no fun, but the mental part my “cross to bear”. I do see a shrink, and am currently on cymbalta, buspar, and clonazapam. And I still couldn’t sleep last night and still have had on/off panics . But not as bad as they used to be so maybe I can really do this.

Thanks again so much for all the support.

90 metoo { 04.12.10 at 9:20 am }

Hey, Shmoe…I am on buspar too! I take 5mg twice a day. It seems to work for me. BUT I THINK that this SAMe is working for me too. I just FEEL better, and I am happier.
Have you tried melatonin for sleep? ALSO~~kava kava is supposed to work for anxiety also!! Just some “herbal” ideas for you to run by the shrink~~natural things have just GOT to be better for you.
Shmoe, I CARE how you do with this…I am here for you, and I check this site every time I turn around!! I don’t know how one goes about sharing email addresses on this site, but I sure wish there was a way to private message some of you folks!! I am thinking about fatigued, tormented angel, and southernmom so much, and I hope we hear from them soon. I realize some people HAVE A LIFE~~~ LMAO!!
Shmoe, I meant it when I said it’s YOUR TIME to shine! I believe in you… :)

91 southernmom { 04.12.10 at 10:58 am }

hello everyone!
I have got to say that having a person like metoo cheering you on is such a huge blessing. You are so upbeat and optomistic. In a time when I am feeling like a huge butt head for doing what I am doing to get through a day, a week however long I know I am going to be unable to survive with our my little friends, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Next Monday is my day to start detox, the kids go back to school, I won’t have to take 6-8 kids to the beach or Busch Gardens or Disney, I can have some quiet time that I think I am going to need and try to hide from family that I am going through withdrawls because they don’t have a clue what I am doing.
Every pill I take this week keeps me incontrol and gives me the boost I need to keep up with everyone. Next week, no boost, no crutch, just me trying to figure out how to do this without losing it.
I don’t do caffine, but I love my wine so hopefully with the Thomas recipe and kratom a glass of really good chardonnay, I am going to dive in head first and see if I really am strong enough to stop being weak to a drug.
As far as sharing e-dresses, I don’t how this board is monitored and I for one have done some things that I am ashamed about. How does everyone else feel about sharing?

92 metoo { 04.12.10 at 11:22 am }

I was thinking about setting up a new email address…a non-incriminating one! lol!!! Can it be done?? No way am I giving out my real address. But I would like to be able to correspond….and it stinks not to be able to! I’m such a puss. hee hee!!!

93 metoo { 04.12.10 at 11:59 am }

I did it…. metoo05@live.com !

94 Shmoe { 04.12.10 at 12:12 pm }

I like the correspondance idea too and will set up my own address just for detox stuff.

So being re-assured that Kratom is used for other things, I think I will order some too. Scrolling back though I didn’t see where you guys ordered from – is there any particular site anyone could recommend that worked and didn’t rip you off?

95 southernmom { 04.12.10 at 1:29 pm }

Shmoe I went to
I ordered the capsules, they say it is not for human consumption but I think that is theri way of selling kratom withough having legal problems. With s&h it was about $40. I must be honest, I haven’t tried it yet, not ’til next week, I can let you know then if it works, or maybe we can take this ride together.

96 Shmoe { 04.13.10 at 8:21 am }

Thanks southernmom, I will try that.
Unfortuantely, 3 days into detox and I broke down and took 2 this morning. So yeah, this is my next plan, get back to 1 vic a day for a couple days, then with kratom I’ll try again. So I’ll be in withdrawal about the same time you are. I’ll pray for us both!

97 metoo { 04.13.10 at 8:58 am }

Well, I too broke down yesterday. I was 11 days in, and doing fine, and I got my refill. I am going to do a brand new withdrawal next week with Shmoe and Southernmom. Here we go again!!!!!! Ah, the
camaraderie!!! Don’t feel too bad, Shmoe…I feel bad too.

98 southernmom { 04.13.10 at 10:09 am }

OK you, metoo and myself will kick this off next Monday. I’ve been in contact with metoo’s site, so maybe we can keep in touch through that site, if you’re OK with it.
I need to go back to GNC to get the L-Tyrosine, I don’t know what it’s for but it’s part of the recipe so I want to be fully prepared to do this, get past this and start my new life sober.

99 Van { 04.13.10 at 9:30 pm }

Failed. Had to pop open my bottle twice again, meaning I’m right back where I started. Crippling depression is eating my life. Been sitting playing videogames for two days straight hoping it would help me ignore WD symptoms but it didn’t. Showers and vitamins have been good though, thanks for the tip. Thanks for the support.

100 Shmoe { 04.14.10 at 3:42 am }

Metoo and southernmom – thanks so much for the support – I am in! Monday we kick off and I’ll be happy to use the metoo email. I am farily busy at work and do have some family responsibilities, although my kids are away at college, so I may be a little slow to respond some days. But know that I will keep in touch as best as I can.

Van – have you seen a shrink for the depression? They can help. I have struggled with OCD and depression my whole life – I found that medicating with vic really helped. However, I did start seeing a shrink who’s been very good, I think we finally have meds that seem to work for me, but now I am still dependent on the vics. Each time I tried to quit the issues came back. Last week it wasn’t as bad and now I feel that the meds I’m on (buspar and cymbalta) have had a chance to work so I’m optimistic that with southernmom and metoo we can all kick it next week.

Also, like southernmom, the vics allowed me to be a husband, father while working full time as an engineer and keep up a positive attitude, even in normal family crisis situations. I too want to stay that way, just without the vics.

101 metoo { 04.14.10 at 2:43 pm }

Hey, Van~~~Would you like to join Shmoe, Southernmom and me for a little “next week detox”???? We always have room for one more fantastic person on our crew!!!! All are welcome!!! Together, we can DO this!!!!!!

102 southernmom { 04.14.10 at 3:10 pm }

I can’t believe that we are willing to do this together. I am excited and scared at the same time. I have the opportunity to score a few more vics, but I think I would rather take this trip with all of you. I am going to try a few of the Kratoms this weekend and see if they will help me get over the down side and depression.
I am so hopeful that we can all go through this and come out better, happier and ready to live a substantial sober life. I can’t let my family down and now I consider all of you to be my family now.
Metoo, I have praying my socks off and I only want the best for everyone.
Good luck everyone!

103 metoo { 04.14.10 at 4:00 pm }

Wow, southernmom…WOW. I am now not only a participant in this detox, I AM HONORED to be going on this “adventure” with you and Shmoe. HONORED. For you to have decided to take this trip with us is worth the world. That just tells me that it IS time for you. You ARE ready to do this, and to SUCCEED at it. That, I believe, is the first step. I am proud of you!!! (I hope I can be as proud of me, but I’ve got to give myself some more serious self talk, because, dammit, it’s my time too!)
It’s TIME for us to be exactly WHO we are, and not to be hiding behind a handful of pills. I also have a new stash coming in on Friday, and I am going to have to hand them off to someone else. I have to get them out of my sight, because I too want to take this trip. I NEED to take this trip. We are gonna do it!!!! :)
Southernmom, I am so happy that you’ve been praying your socks off!! That made me cry AGAIN!!!!! Sheesh!!!! Also, I’ve been doing some research on the Maeng Da kratom that you got. It is effective at just 2grams, so we need to figure out just how much is in each capsule. Mine will be in tomorrow, so I will count and do some ‘cipherin!!!! But, you should only need a few pills, 4 max to start!!! :)
Sittin’ on ready, and rockin’ on go~~~everything’s gonna be ok, doncha know!!! :D

104 Shmoe { 04.15.10 at 5:06 am }

You know, I feel honored too – I really do. And I agree, van you are welcome to join us as well.

105 southernmom { 04.16.10 at 12:04 pm }

Only a minute, I am at the beach with 7 13 year old girls and I really think I am losing my mind! They never stop!!!
We are staying to Sunday and my goal is to get kick off our detox Monday am if I am still alive :-)
I too am honored and overjoyed this is happening and I feel close to all of you because I think we have all been paddling the same boat and it’s our time to get our lives back.
ttySunday pm

106 metoo { 04.18.10 at 6:53 pm }

Here we go now, one, two, three…please keep us in your prayers, Southernmom, Shmoe and me…..pray for our physical and emotional sanity!!!
Let us support each other, and be there always to lend an ear or a shoulder for someone else who might need us~~let them not have to ask or to explain…let us just be there for each other to ease the unspoken pain. Everyone’s got something. EVERYONE. Be kind. You don’t know what someone else’s battles are….

Just random thoughts…thanks for listening, and hearing.

107 Shmoe { 04.19.10 at 9:54 am }

Hope survived the experience southernmom.!

Today is day 1 for me, I think tomorrow is day 1 for metoo. Here goes nuthin!

108 metoo { 04.19.10 at 9:56 am }

How are you doing, Shmoe?? I haven’t had any yet today either…and I’m at work now! I have some time to think about it….GOD, I HATE WHAT THIS STUFF DOES TO YOU! How it just grabs you and makes you WANT it!!

109 Char { 04.19.10 at 4:27 pm }

This is my second time trying to withdraw, the first time I made it 3 days and relapsed. I’m finishing up my first day today and all I can think about is getting another fix, its bad I search my place everywhere, all of the hiding spots I put my stash so my girlfriend doesn’t find it when I’m using. The mental part is the hardest, I struggle with social anxiety and started taking so I could relax and fit in in social settings, otherwise I don’t talk. I don’t tell my girlfriend because I don’t think she would understand as she has repeated often that if she knew me during my party years in college where I got drunk and partied every night she wouldnt have stayed with me. I can handle the physical parts of withdrawals, not being able to sleep at night, muscle aches, stomach aches, loss of appetite, but the mental ones are the ones that kill me and I want to stop. I dont want to rely on this, it does not make me happy but I have to now just to make it through a day. Today was my first day not doing it and all I thought about was doing it all day long. Tomorrow I go to the zoo with my mother, my nieces and my girlfriend, its not going to be a fun day and it should be and this is my biggest problem. I dont enjoy the things in life that I used to enjoy before I became addicted. I have been addicted for approximately a year and I try to think about my life before addiction and how I enjoyed it but I just start thinking about how much I miss doing it. I just want to quit.

110 metoo { 04.19.10 at 4:48 pm }

My first day will be a different day….I got a refill, and I am not strong enough. If anyone is taking time to pray for me, please pray that I can someday just walk away from those white pills. Strength. I could use some. I’ll get there though!

111 metoo { 04.20.10 at 6:45 am }

Char…how are you doing today??? Have you gotten all of the supplies you’ll need to detox? Please post more, so that we can help you!!!!! You’ve found the perfect place for support and encouragement!!!! We are all in the same boat, and you are not going to do this alone. Help is here!!!! I set up an email address, and you can join me there if you’d like… metoo05@live.com

You can do this. We can help!!! Hang in there!!!! :)

112 southernmom { 04.20.10 at 8:59 am }

Hello Char,
I hope you are doing OK, this addiction is a bitch and I feel so much like you, if I’m not high, I feel like an empty shell, I have no personality, no enthusiasm, nothing and I have been doing this for 13 years.
I’ve got to say you have come to the right place for support, Metoo is an amazing person, optomistic, supportive, helpful everything an addict needs when things start getting rough. The prayers are so inspiring, you just know that God is listening when He hears prayers like Metoo’s.
I am in a bad place to kick it right now, hopefully I can get my act together soon and walk away from this addiction a better and stronger person.
Like Metoo, helping others, helps us help ourselves!
Lean on us, I know Metoo won’t let you down.
Hey Schmoe, how are you? Please contact either me or metoo so we know you are OK! OK?

113 Shmoe { 04.20.10 at 9:38 am }

Hi folks – Char , welcome to teh group. You sound just like me. I can handle the physical stuff too, but the mental stuff pulls me back every time. I currently take buspar (40mg / day) and cymbalta, and it’s not enough.

Today was day 2 and I jsut relapsed. I took some kratom, caught a buzz from it, but still had some panic so after hodling out for a day and a half, I fell back and took 2 jsut a few hours ago.

metoo suggested a bigger dose of kratom so I’ll try that next, might try again in a day or 2.

Thanks for the encouragement and kind words southern mom.

114 Shmoe { 04.20.10 at 9:41 am }

Char BTW, metoo has been great support for a lot of us, no question.

115 Char { 04.20.10 at 10:10 am }

Hi first thank you everyone for the support and well wishes. I realize I should have clarified a little more in my original post. I don’t know if it makes a difference or not but for the last year I have taken stuff much heavier than vicodin. Thursday was the last day I have taken that, which is a combination of many different opiates which really makes the withdrawals a devil. Friday night I received a supply of Norco which is different from the stuff I normally take, and of course 30 pills were gone by Monday morning. 6-12 pills a day. Last time I quit cold turkey a couple of weeks ago my withdrawals didn’t start until late in the second day due the long half life. This time I was already feeling them Monday, the day after I last took something. I believe this is because I was starting to feel withdrawals from all of the other opiates, but not 100% sure. I know vicodin withdrawals occur quicker. Anyhow metoo I have found that kava works extremely well in curbing restlessness, relaxing my muscles, relaxing my mind and helping me get at least some sleep at night. Night one there was little of the moving my leg, but I still did not get a great nights sleep. I have a feeling tonight will be much worse. This morning I was up at 730 after going to sleep at 2 and I was wide awake. I usually get up between 9-10. This is the same pattern that occurred the last time. Each night got worse and worse until I finally gave in because I just wanted to be able to sleep at night. I went to the zoo today with my nieces, gf and mom, and I felt blah. I have no appetite, my muscles ache again, my stomach hurts, I’m still having cravings although not as bad today, also with hot and cold flashes. Sorry to bore you all with the symptoms. Metoo I will be praying for you, as I am so familiar with not being able to resist. Southernmom I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I will be thinking about you and encouraging you. I have found something that has really helped me is to change my normal daily routine, and to cut out as much as possible that I enjoy doing while I am on them. Shmoe I feel your pain, I am not an expert but every time I think about taking, I try to put that out of my head and see how many words I can say of a particular letter, like a, apple, apricot, armadillo, etc. until I am not thinking about it anymore. This so far has been my biggest struggle as I just want to feel good again, but I just want to enjoy my life without needing to have to rely on these. ps I dont know if you guys know but even though Kratom is not an opiate, it does bind to the opiate receptors so while you are kicking one addiction you could very well end up with another. I’ll be thinking about all of you, please pray for me as I try to make it through another rough day. The worst part is lying to my gf and warning her I’m not feeling good, telling her to bear with me, and then feeling like blah all day.

116 Van { 04.20.10 at 10:24 am }

Char, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but a taper makes a huuuuuuge difference. I wasn’t rocking as hard as you, but going from 6-8 pills per day to nothing was almost impossible for me. Went down to 3 pills per day then 2 then 1 then half then I got a scrip for 150s of tylenol-3. Again did 3, 2, 1 over a little more than a week and now I’m on day 3 of nothing and feeling kind of ok. I think I’m going to be able to do it this time, so try the taper if you can. However, after chatting with people here as well as others who have been through this, if you can’t pull it off on your own, it may not be a bad idea to see if you can give suboxone a go.

117 Char { 04.20.10 at 1:46 pm }

When should I expect the vomiting and diarrhea? It’s been 48 hours since I’ve had opiates. Currently I feel relatively alright, except I continuously think about taking them, and I also have been have had four bowel movements today, when I took opiates had about one really dry painful one every 3-4 days. My bowel movements are all back to normal though, before I started doing opiates. So should I expect them to get even looser in the upcoming hours? Also does everyone that withdraws from opiates experience diarrhea and vomiting or does it depend on the person?

Van sadly enough that was tapering for me. I know it wasn’t a month or a month and a half taper but over the last couple of weeks I have really cut my intake down. These withdrawals so far are nothing like the withdrawals I had 3 weeks ago, but they are still affecting everything. Kava really seems to help. All I want to do is to take some more to get rid of the horrible edginess and anxiety. I have no desire to do anything, no sex drive, no interest in eating or drinking. That was another question I had. When does a person normally start having an appetite again for sex and for food/drink. I can only go so long telling my gf I am sick and dont feel in the mood.

118 Char { 04.20.10 at 1:47 pm }

I should clarify in my last post, all I want to do is to take opiates again, not kava.

119 Char { 04.20.10 at 1:51 pm }

I feel so relaxed right now. Just the constant stomach rumbling, lack of desire, (used to love watching sports and reading about them on the internet) now I have no desire, along with sex, food and liquids as I said in my previous post. Will I ever get my desire back to do the things I love??

120 metoo { 04.20.10 at 7:40 pm }

Hey, Char and Van!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s GREAT to hear from both of you!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!! :) Well, Char, you’re on the right track! Tell your gf that you just MUST have the flu, and you’re sure feeling down. She will nurse you back to health without having to be told why~~~because she loves you. And you know what?? Her love WILL go a long way. Soak it in, let her take care of you.
I am interested in the kava-kava comments! I bought some of the 84% capsules, some of the cocoa, and some clove tea or something, and it didn’t do a thing for me. I have been trying to do my research and find OTHER herbal remedies out there. Kava was one of my finds, along with kratom. AND, yes, kratom is NOT an opioid. BUT, it sure is better than not having opioids at all. I have checked out the addictions there also, and it is basically nothing compared to what we are all going through now~and that is why I passed it along on this board. Gosh, we ALL want that high, don’t we???? Is there anything else that anyone knows of that can get us there???? SERIOUSLY! How is it possible that we are all scratching for vicodin???? There has just GOT to be an alternative!!!
Char, as far as the diarrhea goes, don’t worry about it. If it happens, it happens. Maybe for you it won’t!?! I always look at that as just natures way of cleaning you out, and man, that always feels good to me. Let it be. I have never taken Immodium or any of those products. Also, withdrawals have NEVER made me barf. I might not eat anything for a few days, which I HATE (then you need to drink meal replacement crap that is really for old people, but what the hell, I am an old people so who do I think I’m faking out…lmfao…) but either way, bottom line….~~~You’re NOT GOING TO DIE. Yes, it’s going to get worse before it gets better; it’s going to really suck so bad you’ll want to just die; yes, it’s not going to be fun. BUT~~~~~I think if maybe we all just try a little attitude adjustment, we could make it better. I am working on the attitude adjustment part because on some level, we have to accept what WE’VE done to ourselves. Eventually, we will have to PAY. When you think about that, well, heck….we have been putting our bodies through this for YEARS. So we will be in pain for a few days????? I don’t think that’s so bad, really….

And, we’ve given our minds an “unnatural euphoria” for how long??? Of COURSE it’s going to retaliate and make us feel anxious and depressed to get back at us!!! Wouldn’t you????? (I personally DETEST this part of detox….) But it is there for a reason. We need to pay our dues. But we have to stand firm and strong.

Personally, and I know this isn’t for everyone….but if you add the physical and emotional sufferings of detox together, and you’re feeling pretty low, maybe it’s a good time for each of us to “hit our knees” and pray. There is one man who faced far worse than we are facing now. The physical things as well as the emotional. If we offer our sufferings up to Him, He WILL take them away. I apologize in advance if this is too much for some~I don’t wish to offend ANYONE. I just think it’s true.

:) You guys rock….keep posting! It’s nice to see activity here! (Hey, has anyone seen Adam, the ringleader???)

121 Char { 04.21.10 at 1:57 am }

Hopefully I’m at my worst and only getting better physically now. I’m about halfway through day 3, woke up at 5 this morning but did get six hours of sleep so not too bad. Nevermind about the diarrhea, that started today. My biggest problems in order are, all I can think, dream, think and dream are about opiates, as soon as I wake up whenever that might be I cant go back to sleep, I have no appetite or desire to do anything, and now the diarrhea. The kava kava has really helped me with relaxing my anxiety, relieving my muscle aches, and cheering up my mood. My problem is I don’t want to have to start taking this all of the time just to get through the day. I have researched it and it’s supposedly not addictive but I don’t trust anything that can alter my mood. I dont want to take the immodium for my diarrhea after reading about it having opiates in it that do not cross the BBB, I am scared this will just prolong my diarrhea as the opiate receptors in my stomach tract will be satisfied and I will have to start all over again. Good luck to everyone and thanks for your support, everyone has been a great help.

122 Shmoe { 04.21.10 at 4:14 am }

Great job Char – You’re doing great! I have been hiding this from my wife and most everyone else too, and I hate doing that. Hate it. You may feel miserable but you are helping to inspire me to finally quit. My past ateempt was pathetic, but I will try again.

I had tried kava years ago and it didn;t seem todo much but you and metoo have liked so I will try it again. Maybe I got a bad batch.

Paying for all of you, and thanks fro being here.

123 Char { 04.21.10 at 6:45 am }

Hey shmoe I will be pulling for you, keep us updated and if you ever have an urge to take, come on here and post and I will try to respond as quickly as possible to help you try to get through it. I know what you are going through. I can’t guarantee the kava will work for you, but it has made my withdrawals noticeably better than last time, not sure if that was due to tapering or the kava, but I believe the kava. When I start to get anxious, muscle aches, kava has really relieved both. Hopefully it works for you. I’ve been stuck around my place today due to the diarrhea. Just want my appetite back. 6 more hours and Ive made it 4 days, new record for me.

124 Char { 04.21.10 at 6:47 am }

Also want to say, two weeks ago when I tried to withdraw my ability to sleep was much, much worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night and would not be able to keep my leg from moving. Each night so far before bed I have taken kava and while my sleep hasnt been great, I have been getting six hours, much better than 2-3 last time, and my leg is rarely moving.

125 Char { 04.21.10 at 3:58 pm }

Into my fourth day going strong, still having diarheaa about every four hours now. Finally ate a meal four days in. End of day 3 start of day 4 I felt so good mentally. Have not taken any kava today, just multivitamin, ibuprofen, and excedrin for caffeine purposes. May have to take kava before bed. Shooting for day 5, only 22 hours to go.

126 metoo { 04.22.10 at 5:51 am }

Char, what form of kava do you have, and how do you take it? I bought the cocoa, the chai stuff, and capsules. Please tell me how to use this! (Tastes like crap, huh?) I hope you are doing well today!!!

127 Char { 04.22.10 at 7:29 am }

Hey metoo I can’t promise this works for you. I had bought a bunch of boxes of this a long time ago and just tried them since they said ont he box they were a muscle relaxant, sleep aid, promote feelings of serenity, and may reduce restlessness. If you google kava kava 500 mg tablets, the first results you see, there will be a picture of a box. That’s what I have been using. I think you can buy them just about anywhere, I got mine on ebay though and they are pretty cheap. This way I don’t get the bad taste. The first 3 days of withdrawals any time my muscles started really aching or I would get restless I would take one pill. I also took one to two pills before bed. It seemed too immensely help. I have researched kava and it doesn’t appear addictive, but I wouldnt suggest taking it after you are through your withdrawal symptoms. How are you doing? Have you quit yet metoo? Seven more hours and I’ve reached day 5. Halfway between day 4 and day 5, and I feel so much better. Still have the diarrhea, but not near as frequently, 12 hours between bowel movements before two back to back within an hour. Nights are still a major struggle with the inability to sit still more than a minute. I got eight hours of sleep last night, but it was horrible sleep, I’m sure people that have experienced withdrawals know what I mean by that, but hell I’ll take eight hours for sure. I did have to take two nyquil to be able to fall asleep last night. My stomach pains are almost completely gone. This is the first day I have been able to walk around my place in just a t-shirt and go outside in just a t-shirt, the chills seem to be gone as well. Still worried about tonight, as the nights are my biggest struggle.
At this point I have no desire for opiates, I have heard the desire grows stronger after the physical symptoms are alleviated. I do think about them all of the time, but not in a craving sense anymore. Guys and girls you can do this, yesterday was so amazing for me, its a world of difference once you get past the worst of the withdrawals and start doing stuff again. I see everything so differently, I’m happy now. Just one word of advice as you struggle to quit doing opiates and are completely feeling shitty, dont think about it as a negative thing like you are worthless or anything but be proud of yourself for making it each hour, making it each day, because you should be, this is seriously the worst crap I have ever gone through, but the rewards I am starting to feel, totally, totally worth it. Im pulling for everyone. This morning took excedrin for caffeine purposes, had a bowl of cereal, still drinking plenty of orange juice, gallon a day plus other liquids, no appetite yet, took some glucosamine for joint aches, and a multivitamin. Will take ibuprofen later if my muscles are aching. Good luck to everyone.

128 Char { 04.22.10 at 7:35 am }

I would advise against taking immodium. Yes you will have the craps for several days, but I believe it will prolong the diarrhea, each time you take the immodium you are satisfying your opiate receptors in your stomach, (but not your head), so I believe you will be starting the stomach withdrawals all over again. If you are tapering, then its ok, but if you just quit cold turkey, I believe it’s going to be a huge setback, find something else to take for diarrhea and drink plenty of liquids, juice, gatorade etc so you don’t get dehydrated. You do not want to be dehydrated while going through this.

129 RKitty { 04.22.10 at 11:53 am }

Help, I’m freaking out. I have 2 norco left. I want to quit and get off of this up and down hell roller coaster. I just had a baby in December, then gall bladder surgery a month later. I had been taking the norco for about a year for back pain, then after the gall bladder surgery (which was very painful) I got hooked. I would take them to feel good. I’m so scared of the wd’s (withdrawals). It’s so hard with a new baby and a 4 yr old with Autism. Lots of stress and anxiety. My husband works very long hours and commutes. He comes home late, so I feel very alone. I have to get off of these. I have planned for the cold turkey thomas recipe. I have 30 klonopin pills (.5mg). How much do I take a day? I need to be able to drive and take care of my baby. I don’t have anyone to help me. I need to pick up my 4 yr old from school (45 minute drive one way). I also have Ambien to help with sleep. Will it actually help? I’m terrified of the wd’s. Scared out of my mind. To top it off my hot water heater just broke. No hot water for baths or showers. Any advice on the klonopin and ambien. Tonight I will be starting day 1. I can’t wait to be on day 4 or day 5. I want to get on the other side of this hill.

130 RKitty { 04.22.10 at 12:35 pm }

Just alittle more info about me. I’ve been trying to taper down with my doctors help. Last Friday, I saw my doctor for a refill, I was down to 3 a day (10/325 hydrocodone). He was only giving me a week supply at a time. I had come down from 60 a week. The tapering down was awful. So hard. I was always watching the clock and waiting til my next pill. Then on Friday, he gave me two weeks worth at once. He said I was lucky he wasn’t making me go cold turkey. I think he knew with so many pills I would take them all before the next refill. Which I did. Today I have 2 left. I only blame myself and feel so ashamed about what I’ve done. My husband knows what’s going on, but is too busy to understand. Tomorrow will be so hard with no pills to rely on to get me through. Come this weekend, I won’t be alone my husband will be here and I can hide in the bedroom while he takes care of the baby and our 4 yr old. Hopefully, come Monday I will feel a little better. I’m so scared. Tonight and tomorrow will be day one and I’m terrified. I want to call my doctor but my refill is not due til Friday, April 30 and I know he won’t give me more. This is it. I have to do this. I’ve just started back to church on Sunday’s. I know Jesus can help me. I’m just so weak and scared and anxious. It helps to read your posts, that I’m not alone, even though I feel alone. It’s weird that I’m never alone with children (tee hee) yet I feel so alone right now. Please write me. ;)

131 Char { 04.22.10 at 3:32 pm }

I hope you guys don’t mind that I litter this site with so many comments but this has truly been a very important crutch in helping me to continue strong. I have made it into Day 5. I cannot explain how great I feel…I haven’t been in this good of a mood in over a year, (before I started doing opiates). I cannot believe it…I thought I was taking these opiates to help myself in social situations, but I don’t need them. My personality has came back strong, I am starting to desire sex again, no appetite yet but did eat 3 full meals today! Still have diarrhea, no desire to do opiates. My hot and cold flashes are gone, my muscle aches are gone, my inability to sit still is gone, my stomach ache is gone, I have honestly never felt so good mentally in my life. I will report tomorrow on how my sleep goes, the one thing I’m most concerned about now. Good luck everyone.

132 metoo { 04.22.10 at 5:37 pm }

THANK YOU, Char!!!! And congratulations to YOU!!!! You are a bright spot of hope for those of us who have yet to experience what you have described…I know it’s out there for me, I KNOW it’s out there for Shmoe, and I KNOW it’s out there for Southernmom too!!!! It’s out there. It’s the pot of gold at the end of our rainbow, and gosh darn it, we DESERVE to see it too!!! Thank you for HOPE, Char…….Keep it coming……really!!!

133 Char { 04.23.10 at 8:05 am }

Six more hours and I’ve reached my sixth day. Last night was the most comfortable night yet. I got five hours of sleep, but it was good uninterrupted sleep. I fell asleep as soon as I laid down and didn’t look back. 14 hours between bowel movements but still having loose stools. No appetite yet but am eating. Went on about an hour walk today. Havent taken kava in a day and a half. Think about opiates all of the time but don’t necessarily crave them at this point.

134 southernmom { 04.23.10 at 8:35 am }

You are giving everyone on this site hope!! Thank you so much for that. One of my biggest concerns was am I still going to be up and happy and effective person and mom. I have many responsibilities and I really don’t want to all of a sudden become down, depressed and no motivation.
You are an inspiration!

135 Shmoe { 04.23.10 at 11:42 am }

Thnaks Char – you are still inspiring me. I am going to try and quit again in a week – may 3rd. Most times I don;t think I care but your sincere and succesful efforts are making me think … oh hell maybe, just maybe I can….

136 southernmom { 04.23.10 at 12:37 pm }

It’s OK to be scared, all of us on this site are scared. I assume you are young with your young children and I know what it’s like to be home alone with your babies all day, while your husband is at work. The day never seems to end.
I am not familiar with the drug you are taking, but it sounds like most of the opiates we all ar taking and you are right, it’s not easy to stop taking them.
Several of us have or are going to try Kratom, you can purchase it from th web-site and it helps you detox off opiates. I’m sorry to say I haven’t tried it yet but some of the other poaster have and have good results.
The best thing about this site is you are not alone. we are all going through the same thing and I for one have found it to be the most helpful influence in my life!!!
We are here for you, let us know what we can do, there is quite a few of us that have incredible wisdom about what is going on with you, let us help!

137 metoo { 04.23.10 at 2:17 pm }

RKitty!!!!! Keep on praying, girl!!! You will do just fine with this. Sometimes I think the best way is to just go cold turkey. If I were you, this is what I’d do: 1) Take potassium like crazy! (I think that is the MOST helpful of the supplements!!) 2) Pray like mad every time you think about a pill!! 3) Take a zinc a day so you won’t get sick 4) DO talk to yourself!! YOU can talk YOU through this. Use a mirror if at all possible!! 5) Get angry at vics….THEN DO BATTLE.
I am personally getting ready to do my LAST detox. I’ve done too many of them already. It’s time for change, and the time is now. The time is now for you too, RKitty. Use the discomfort to get your dander up (Gosh, now I sound old. hahha!) and get darn good and mad at vicodin for taking so much from you!! Also, know that every moment of that discomfort, you are one moment CLOSER to the other side of addiction~~~Be strong, and let it’s take it’s course, leaving YOU clean, and better than ever for your beautiful little family. Isn’t THAT what it’s all about??? YOU can do this, RKitty~I believe in YOU! Prayers incoming!!!!!! :) Love you, kid. You’ll be fine.

138 RKitty { 04.24.10 at 4:44 am }

Dear Southermom and Metoo, Thanks so much for the encouragement. I so need it. I’ve made it through Day 1 (37 hours and counting with no vicodin). Yeah! I’ve only been taking Tylenol, Vitamins/Minerals, CQ-10, and B-Complex. I tried Ambien last night for sleep and it worked, tonight it did not work. I’ve been tossing and turning all night with weird scary dreams. Now it’s the beginning of the weekend, I have two whole days with my husband home to take care of our 4 yr old and 3 mon, so I can just stay in the bedroom. I’m anxious, shaky, and my skin sometimes feels like its on fire or crawling. Oh yeah, can’t eat, bad diarrhea. Yucky! I have the Klonopin but have not taken it. I’m afraid I’d also get addicted to it. Anybody here use Klonopin to help? It’s part of the recipe. Yesterday I was curled up in a ball on the bed just crying out to God to help me. When do I hit the worst point and things start to get better. I know with His help I can do this, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 37 hours and counting, Yeah! tee hee

139 Char { 04.24.10 at 5:23 am }

Hey southermom, metoo and shmoe. Thank you for your words of encouragment. I know every person will be unique in how they are able to handle the situation mentally, but I hope I can offer hope. Did attend my first social gala last night, on no drugs and no alcohol. I did well, even better than I would do if I was on opiates. Schmoe you can do this. I know you can do this. Keep us posted, it truly has helped me just to have others that understand what I am going through and will do wonders for you as well. Theres no one else that I know of in my life that could possibly understand the effects of opiate withdrawals.

Rkitty-Keep up the good work! You are doing great. I’m not sure how heavy of a user you were but its going to get tough. This is your time to show yourself what you are made of. If you can make it through the tough physical days it only gets easier and for me it truly made me realize if I can beat this, I can do anything I set my mind to. I know you can as well. Its great that your husband is supportive when he’s home. Use him as a crutch when you are thinking about taking, use Christ as a crutch when you are thinking about taking, and use this place as a crutch when you are thinking about taking. I will be praying for you.

140 Char { 04.24.10 at 5:28 am }

I’m 8 hours away from making it to the seventh day. I have not had diarrhea going on 17 hours. Have to go to a wedding tonight and once again will be going with no drugs or alcohol in my system. My stomach still hurts, but its nothing compared to 3 days ago. Also have been sneezing quite a lot. Again was able to eat 3 meals, but still no appetite. My sex drive is hit and miss currently. I currently have no other symptoms and have not had any other symptoms in about 2 days now. Second straight night I slept like a baby. This time got seven hours of sleep. Haven’t taken kava in a couple of days. My relationship with my girlfriend has actually became better, have never felt so connected to her, can talk forever about anything, couldnt do that while on opiates. Occasionally I think about taking opiates but I always tell myself “no do you realize what kind of hell you are and have went through, they arent worth it”. Think about them often, crave them not as much.

141 Char { 04.24.10 at 6:35 am }

Rkitty-Something that might really help you when you are feeling like you need a picker upper is finding a song that really moves you, playing it as many times as you need and thinking positive thoughts while you listen to it…think about how you are doing it, how you are beating it, how proud of yourself you are..a song that I’ve used a million times this week is live, lightning crashes. Find something that works for you.

142 chickaroo5 { 04.24.10 at 9:38 am }

this is a good…I am day 3 (67 hrs) off of 5-10 norcos. I think worst is over, but not sure. I hope we all succeed in our mission

143 RKitty { 04.25.10 at 4:46 pm }

Chickaroo5 – I’m right there with you. I just finished day 3 (73 hours and going) just starting day 4. My stomach is still a mess, and I still have diarrhea, not as often, I’m forcing myself to eat, still no appetite, but I still can’t sleep. I hope I sleep tonight. My husband goes back to work tomorrow and I’ll be on duty with the kids all by myself. I’m very week.
Char – Yesterday, I download that song, got outside on the lawn tractor with my iPod and mowed for 3 hours , we have lots of land, singing and shouting at the top of my lungs. It was a great release. Though today I’m tired and weak and have bad dreams and keep thinking of getting some pills. But the thought of going through this again would be awful. I want the euphoria but not the withdrawals. So frustrating. I keep telling myself Jesus is with me. Another good song is, “Set the World on Fire” by Brit Nicole. Great to sing out loud and cry out to God. When will I start to feel better? Will I ever stop thinking of ways to get pills?

144 Shmoe { 04.26.10 at 12:55 pm }

Thanks again Char – more good advice. You’re right, it ‘s tough to find someone who really gets it. You have really helped.

I have actually tapered down using codiene to replace some of the vic pills I was taking, but I am still targeting May 3rd as my go clean date. I find myself constantly wanting more, but hopefully this will make the final withdrawal easier. next week..

Another one of us on this board has started detox this week, but I’ll let that person post their own success! I know it’ll go well, I feel it.

Praying for us all….

145 Char { 04.26.10 at 1:40 pm }

Rkitty-For me the worst was over with by the end of day 5. You are doing great, keep it up. Don’t worry, I felt the same way around then, wondering if I would ever feel better. Of course each person’s recovery will vary depending on multiple factors but I believe the physical symptoms should be gone within 5-10 days.
Schmoe- you are doing great, thats a great idea tapering down with codeine. If I had the opportunity I probably would have did that as well. Keep it up, you are doing great!
I have now started my ninth day, havent had any physical symptoms in over 3 days. Cravings are starting to occur more often though.

146 metoo { 04.26.10 at 2:08 pm }

Aww, Shmoe…you are so sweet!!! Yes, it is I, metoo, who is on day 2!! The funny thing is, I feel GREAT. I took my last pill at midnight on Saturday night, and slept pretty much like a baby last night..(got 10 hours of sleep too..) had no RLS, and am just thankful that I don’t have any pills here to tempt me! I have been using kratom, and I just can’t say enough about that stuff!!!! I woke up this morning LESS jittery and anxious than when I WAS taking vicodin!! If I don’t experience any RLS as I sleep tonight, I am officially considering my detox over tomorrow morning. I feel just great, and, my conscience is clean too.

So, what I have been taking is: 3-99mg Potassium supplements a day, 1-50mg Zinc supplement a day, 2-400mg SAM-e vitamins (one in the morning, one in the evening), and 2-3mg Melatonin about two hours before bedtime. Also kratom, as desired. This goes along with my two normal medications: 100mcg Levothyroxine(for hypothyriodism), and 15mg Buspar twice a day(for anxiety). That’s my recipe, and I don’t know what’s working, but something is DEFINITELY WORKING. Also, I have been the recipient of a LOT of prayers…Southernmom and Shmoe have been daily, often HOURLY supporters!!! Their emails are the brightest spots in my day….and I don’t feel alone~I feel blessed, and I am thankful for the friendships that this board, as well as this addiction has gained me.

I am better today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow? Well, hell, tomorrow the sky’s the limit!!!!!

Thank you EVERYONE for keeping this entire community in your daily prayers!! This is one special group of people! God Bless us, one and all!!!!! KEEP ROCKIN’!!!! :D

147 southernmom { 04.26.10 at 3:19 pm }

You have been an inspiration to many of us on this board so I have to ask, who is inspiring you? Do have a support system at home? Metoo, Shmoe and myself have been working our way through this with prayer and being there for each other when things get rough. I know that I can speak for myself and probably metoo and shmoe that we want to be there for you too, encouragement, support and friendship.
We offer that to anyone on this board that needs this, you are not alone and if we can help even 1 person we have fulfilled God’s plan for us.

148 metoo { 04.26.10 at 4:26 pm }

Our email address is metoo05@live.com for ANYONE who needs or wants some extra, more personal support and contact. It’s working…and all are welcome!!! We are not judges, or doctors, just hoping to be able to HELP others….just as southernmom said!! :) And said well, might I add!!! :)

149 metoo { 04.27.10 at 6:54 am }

Ok…it’s been 57 hours for me….No RLS to report, and no stomach upset, irritable bowels, nothing! Something is working! Thank you for your prayers!!

150 Char { 04.27.10 at 9:03 am }

Southernmom it’s a struggle everyday but I just have to keep telling myself I do not want them in my life anymore. The only way I have made it this far is because I want to do it for myself. I finally came to a point where I was sick of having to rely on a substance to make it through each day. I was sick of spending each day getting high just so I could go do everything else. I was sick of the constipation and the painful bowel movements. Lastly I was sick of not even getting high anymore, seeing as how I had become so tolerant. I was wasting my money, 100 or so a week just to get through a day. I was sick of knowing I was doing serious damage to my organs, I was sick of never having an appetite, never craving food and enjoying food like I used to. I was sick of not enjoying the things I used to in life before I started getting high every day. I was sick of hiding things from everyone in my life. So that has inspired me to quit. It became even more inspirational as I suffered through each day of withdrawals thinking I was one day closer to not having to rely on them anymore and each day I think that. I think I never want to have to go through those withdrawals again, I never want my body or brain to have to rely on something so toxic just to get through the day, and finally this place has been inspirational to me. It helps to be able to know that there are others that can possibly know what I’m going through. I have talked to a couple of friends I trust entirely that won’t judge me and they can only understand half the pain and suffering, the cravings, the psychological withdrawals. Knowing that people on here understand, don’t judge, and support no matter what happens is huge. Southernmom I also know that you can beat this. Trust me this is coming from someone that was a heavy user of many different opiates. After about a week my natural endorphins started kicking in again (I got plenty of exercise going on a couple of walks a day and getting fresh air). Wow was it amazing to actually feel my natural endorphins again after a year of the opiates suppressing them. They come on very strong and I got a natural high every afternoon and evening that lasted for hours. Day 9 I went on an hour walk and a couple of hours later a 45 minute run, first day I felt my stomach could handle heavier exercise and I did fine. I know you are concerned about having a blah personality once you are done and I cant promise you wont, but I believe we can relate to the fact that we both use/used to feel better about ourselves, to feel confident in ourselves and to feel like we were fun to be with. Well I can feel that way now without them and it feels great, and I think you could as well.

151 Char { 04.27.10 at 9:04 am }

Rkitty keep us updated on how you are doing. You should have made it through the worst part right now. I am praying for you!
I’m closing in on day 10.

152 Char { 04.27.10 at 9:10 am }

Metoo congratulations! You are doing great, keep it up! I have researched kratom, not sure how heavy you are taking it, or how heavy you took opiates, and I do want to warn you that you can end up with a kratom addiction and have to suffer the subsequent withdrawals from that. I have read they are not near as bad as opiate withdrawals but I also understand there is not near as much information on kratom as there are on opiates. I do know that kratom does activate opiate receptors in the brain (not sure if it does in the stomach). If this works for you that will be amazing. Are you planning on slowly tapering off of kratom and if so you should let us know how you taper down. Also let us know what you know about kratom and how it affects opiate withdrawals. I would advise you to taper down and off of kratom as quick as possible using only when you start to feel withdrawals. I think that no matter what if you have been a heavy user you will experience some sort of withdrawals but like you said thats just your body’s way of getting the toxins out. I would like to say I have tried kratom in the past (dont care for the feeling of it nauseous and horrible tasting and doesn’t really give me a good high) when I was out of opiates and starting to withdraw and they would go away right away. I fear this is because they satisfy the opiate receptors…fill us in please! Praying for you

153 Char { 04.27.10 at 9:11 am }

When you say our email address metooo, who are you referring to? Does more than one person check and respond?

154 scared { 04.27.10 at 9:34 am }

I am just finishing up hour 25 without percocet. I hadn’t realized it was a problem until I realized I was running out and panicked. I was taking 15 mg a day. For almost 2 months. Yesterday was going to be my quit day but after spending so much time at work throwing up I broke down and took half my normal dose. Took off of work today and felt horrible until I found this site. Thank you all so much for sharing. I am just so scared that I am going to keep feeling like this. I can’t really afford to take any more time off work and I just need someone to tell me that tomorrow is going to be better than today…

155 scared { 04.27.10 at 9:48 am }

How will I know I am going to be ok at work tomorrow?

156 metoo { 04.27.10 at 10:45 am }

Well, I said “we” meaning that is how to contact us as a group. The email itself is mine.

157 metoo { 04.27.10 at 11:22 am }

Hi, Char! I have been taking 7-10 7.5 vocodin per day for off and on the course of about 3 years….just started recreationally, and then, you know how that story goes. So, my tolerance was right up there!! This past weekend, up until I took my last pill, it didn’t matter how many I took, I couldn’t feel them anymore. So, I guess I got to the end of “my” tolerance. Took my last one at midnight Saturday! :)
I’ve detoxed quite a few times throughout the years, but it has NEVER been this easy. I can’t say I experienced any discomfort at all.
As far as the kratom goes, I’ve done enough research to know that it is far less a threat than opiates. My thinking is that if kratom is the lesser of two evils, and I DO enjoy it, and it’s legal, and my conscience is clear, that’s the thing that will help me get off the opiates. I don’t know that this is “the” answer, but I’m not questioning it! I’m glad I found it. I get what you’re saying too~~~there comes a time when all of our “feel good” stuff has to go. I’m just thinking that kratom has to be “better” for you than pot too, although I don’t know that for sure either. LOL…I have some pot too…but haven’t smoked any in months. I don’t really want to get into that much either. All I can say is that the kratom is very helpful! :) And I like it… :)

158 southernmom { 04.27.10 at 12:02 pm }

I have to agree with metoo, if something works and there are less symptoms of withdrawl and it makes life easier then that’s the way to go. I think we all are going to have to figure out our own process to get through this and that’s why this board is so important. Everyone can learn from it through other’s experiences. You have ispired us with your very easy detox, it gives us all hope and Metoo also inspires us with the journey and I for one couldn’t live without those prayers.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to pick apart someone’s detox, you just take away from it what you need and I have taken a lot from this board and when I can detox, I feel I’ll be ready and have an amazing support group to get me through this, If Kratom works for even one person, then I am going to try it and doubt this could be even close to addictive as the vicodin. The vitamins and mineral suppliments have worked for many people, The Thomas recipe has helped many and I am so relieved to have this knowledge to get through my addiction and I’ll try anything to make sure I get through it!!!
I am praying for everyone on this board and I hope you feel what I feel, that God is with us and He will be there when things get rough!

159 southernmom { 04.27.10 at 2:54 pm }

You have told us about your girlfriend, is she your support system? And you don’t have to answer this if you it makes you uncomfortable, but are you a heterosexual couple? My husband is not my support system, metoo and Shmoe are, and the both of them bring a different insight to this detox and it is helpful to know.
Please don’t be offended by question, it just takes our very special relationship to a new level of trust and like I said, if you don’t want to share, that is totally your choice.
My date to detox is the end of May, when I can get a break from life and do this without having it influence my friends and family and I am so thankful for all the wise advice I have recieved on this board. Char you make me feel less afraid, that this won’t be life shattering and I hope I can go through this like you did!!!

160 OneDayAtaTime { 04.28.10 at 4:43 am }

Hi Guys, I feel like I know all of you. I have been reading all of your info and suggestions the past 2 days. I am on day 3 of no Vicodin. In 2003 was taking 18- 7.5mg a DAY!!! A few years ago I tapered down to about 7 – 5mg a day. I didnt know I was becoming addicted back then, once it happened it seemed too late. I had a life to run and thats how i justified it……. i guess. I havent gotten the reicipe of vitamins yet, haven’t felt like going out of the house. :( I may be able to go today.From what I have read they seem to help. I need a mental boost I AM DRAIIIINED!! I can’t tell anyone either. I just tell everone I’m not feeeling well. Thank GOD for thid site. It makes me feel less alone, and that It can be done?!?!?!

161 metoo { 04.28.10 at 6:00 am }

Well, it’s day 4 here, and all is well!!! Got my 9 hours of sleep again, and woke up refreshed, and really, better than ever. I think the vics really did a number on my conscience. I am feeling better about myself, and I am doing a little better every day!

At this point, I am willing to give more of the credit to the SAMe vitamins… Google it, and check it out. It is the only thing other than the kratom that is different. And I don’t think taking kratom once a day at a small dose is going to ward off withdrawals~~~more like it gives you a break for a few hours. You can’t stay high and happy on kratom all day like you can on vics. You CAN take a mini vacation though! So, really, I am thinking this SAMe has done a bit of the work. WELL, that AND all the prayers!!!!

162 OneDayAtaTime { 04.28.10 at 7:52 am }

As I said I am at day 3 havent done any vitamins yet. Was conc. buying Sam-E too. it is raining where I live today. I can NOT belive how much of the little things I have been numb too all these years!! It smells better, looks beautiful, and feels nice. Nice too to be off Vikes…lol. Looking forward to getting another day down. Having the kids around makes it really rough to detox, but soon I know it will be easier. I pray throughout the day for God to give me the strength and peace to get me through this. I will do the same for all of you. Keep it up “Metoo and “scared” your hearts know its the rite thing to do your head is the on messing w/ you :) ~same to you too “southernmom”

163 OneDayAtaTime { 04.28.10 at 7:56 am }

Oh, and thanks for the info on kratom. I almost was going to try it and see if it helped. I dont think it would work for me at this time. Do any of you out there know how long it takes to not crave this crap anymore??

164 OneDayAtaTime { 04.29.10 at 5:58 am }

Day 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still cant sleep past 5 – 5:30 am. I am waking up feeling much better everyday. The main thing that remains>>>> besides the cravings, are the chills. I just cant stay warm. I found this site the 1st day of detox and it has been a lifesaver. I was scared to post, so I just read. Anyone out there doing the same as I did dont be scared. There really are great people here that get it. Here is the only place that knows what I am going thru and It is working. I am doing the recipe that Thomas put above and have added the Sam-e that Meetoo suggested. No many of us have the ablity to go to a rehab center. For me personally I dont think I need one now anyway. I did think that was the only way 4 days ago :-/ Since I made the decision I have been over run w/ the same addictions airing on TV. Yesterday on Oprah she had the former Miss USA talking about using “perscription meds”…. we all know what she was talking about. Then again on Dr. Phil; a mother who has the same problem we all do and made a promise to get off of them for her family. I have never beeen addicted to anything. When I started taking V I could do anything, got anything done. Years into my addiction I had to work so much harder just to finish loading the dishwasher!!! It is a nasty game the V plays w/ your head. You think you are fine………… I did. I pray this is it for me. I can’t go back to that, and rite now I don’t want to. I know there may come a few times today that my head tells me I need it. Those moments have gotten further apart each hour/ day. Stay strong out there all of you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel….. and it’s not a train PROMISE O:)

165 barbie { 04.29.10 at 3:12 pm }

I am needing some info on what to use to help me detox for vics, i am taking about 30 of the 750 a day, and am scared to death to detox, need some suggestions on how to even begin this process.

166 RKitty { 04.30.10 at 12:38 pm }

I’ve made it 8 DAYS! I can sleep through the night. That’s a great change. The diarrhea is just about gone. Yeah! On Monday Day 4 I completely broke down in to a severe depression. My husband had to leave work early morning and come home to take care of me and the kids. I could not get out of bed, terrible nightmares with the slim sleep I had at the time. I was scared to death of being on my own. He stayed with me for two days. Praise God. Now he’s back to working long long long hours to make up for it. I’m scared again because I’m home alone again and sad. I missed church last Sunday, Day 3 because I was curled up in a ball in bed not functioning. Things are better. Still scared and lonely. I’m joining a women’s bible study this coming Tuesday night and looking forward to meeting some women in Christ and having some fellowship, and studying God’s Word. I live in the country, my friends live in other cities who work full time and also have kids. Too busy to ever visit. I have no family other than my husband. With my son who’s 4 with Autism, he goes to a special school everyday (one way 45 minute drive). Lots of driving for me and the 4 month old baby. Plus my 4 yr old is lots to handle when he is home, then add the baby and a broken down water heater that should be fixed next week. So I boil water to give everyone a bath, even me and my husband. My problem besides loneliness, my doctor refilled my hydrocodone/Vicodin. I was picking up my birth control pills and they said my hydrocodone was also ready. I immediately grabbed it. Now what do I do? I want to take some. Is it possible to take one now and then? It’s 2 a day for 2 weeks. He was tapering me down. My mind is clear, the fogginess is gone, but I still crave and think about the pills all the time and now I have some. I don’t know what to do. Part of me thinks I should flush them right away. Another part of me screams NO. Just take one now and then. Any advice would be helpful. I’m still clean. That’s amazing. It was sure hell to get here. Would I really have to go through that hell again, if I took alittle now and then? I’m so ashamed at how weak I am. I also lost 15 lbs. If my husband new I started up again he would be even more disappointed. At my worst point, I was crying out to God for help, and my husband, my husband told me to go in my room, close the door and take a nap or read a book. He is so clueless at what hell I was going through. I couldn’t sleep, I was coming out of my skin, and I couldn’t focus at all to read. I love sharing on the board and am routing and praying for all of us.

167 OneDayAtaTime { 05.01.10 at 6:46 am }

Barbie, I was thake close to the same amont a few years ago. I cut back first week I cut my doses in half for 7 -10 days. Then I cut way down for the next few months. Try starting to cut back and continue to do so until you are ready to quit. Detoxing off of a lesser amout on your own, and proving to yourself you CAN take control back will help. I have been off of V’s now for 6 days!!! After taking them for over 7 years. I feel whole again. The recipe that is on this board I have been using and it had def. helped. Best of luck to you :)

168 OneDayAtaTime { 05.01.10 at 6:58 am }

R KItty,
Your post broke my heart. Since I decided to quit I have gotten involed w/ Church too. I has mad all of this so much easier. I know how you feel needing to get everthing done and no time left for you to take down time >>>> with out the guilt. If you havent touch your new perscription yet don’t. It is just a quick fix. You have gone through the worst of it. If you have today is a new day and easier to get it out of your system if you havent been feeding the addiction for another long period of time. Have to tried the recipe suggested at the top of the page?? It works. I have been doing it along w/ Sam-e the “me-too” suggested and it has made it much easier. I have detoxed alone w/ no vitamins and to was much harder. I started detox on Monday found this board the same day. It has helped so much knowing there are others “like me’.
Sorry to hear all your stresses. Just know God will never give us more than we can handle. You need him to give you the strenght. He will. Best of luck

169 JenN { 05.01.10 at 6:18 pm }

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this before but if you go to the Thomas Recipe page there is a link at the bottom. It is a recipe of sorts for withdrawal from methadone in a more natural way. I have been taking around 40 norco 10′s for probably close to a year now, and lower dosages of hydrocodone before that. I do have a back injury but was using way beyond my need. I found that my happiness was depending on whether I had a drug in my system or not and that is no longer acceptable to me. I am letting my 4-year-old daughters life go by while I’m waiting for my next dose. Suprising as it may or may not be my doctor has supported the majority of my habit, increasing my dose when ever I asked without much to do. So I tapered my self down to about 9 a day and went cold turkey. The first day I was miserable so on that sleepless agonizing night I went searching the internet for something… anything! I found the Thomas recipe and at the bottom he sites a webpage that he found helpful. That page is probably the sole reason I will be clean a year from now. I’m on day four of my withdrawal and aside from a little bit of fatigue I feel exceptionally well. The herbs/minerals and such that he suggests are a bit pricey but well worth your health. Other than just surviving your withdrawal symptoms, which the recipe seems to do very successfully, it helps to repair the things that you have damaged in your body with all of the dope. The damage you (and I) are doing to out body is profound. That is also no longer acceptable to me. I know that for anyone who is detoxing right now it might sound crazy for me to tell you to take a long list to the health food store but it really will ease your suffering. Let the people who work there find the things for you if you feel like you can’t. If you get nothing else pick up some Valerian root and potassium. The Valerian root is like a herbal xanax and will help ease your mind and help you sleep when taken at night. The potassium you must be very careful with (please research or ask a Dr. before taking) but it will ease your aches and most RLS symptoms. Please do check out the site I mentioned above… if it helped me it can help others. Google the Thomas Recipe and click the link he suggests at the bottom. The pain of addiction is, in the end, far worse than our physical pain because an addiction is not just our own… it is our family’s, our friend’s, and even our children’s burden. I wish you all luck and happiness in a better future we can hopefully all share together. May your path never lead you down this horrible road again.

170 JenN { 05.01.10 at 6:59 pm }
171 Shmoe { 05.03.10 at 12:39 pm }

RKitty – that’s rough. I don;t know what to say but you are in a tough spot. I have no real advice, but I jsut feel really bad for you, so I’ll pray. Remember that all of us here can understand much of what you are going through in a way others often can’t.

For whatever it’s worth today is day 1 of detox for me, thanks in large part to southernmom and metoo, and now also onedayatatime. Thanks to you folks I am in a much better place now.

172 OneDayAtaTime { 05.03.10 at 2:38 pm }

Been thinking of you “rKitty” I have been checking everyday to see if you have posted anything. I have been keeping you in my prayers. For me making the decision to strat life with out the V’s was that hardest part. I was scared to see what I was without them. I guess in a strange way……. I had an excuess for being the way I was. An excusse only I knew about. It was good enough for me. Good enough to keep the V’s around for 7 years.
I am on day 7 now :) :) It hasnt been easy, at times downrite nasty. Here I am one week down and the nasty is gone. Being replaced with joy. As crazy as this sounds I have joy doing the dishes feeling the air come through the kithchen window onto my face. Joy seeing my daughter walking towards the car when I pick her up from school. Before she would just walk towards the car, get in, and we would go home.????!!!
Way to go “Shmoe”!!!! Day one is better than I thought I coulda done 8 days ago. I found this board on day one of my detox. I read every part of it! Too scared to post, just knowing I wasn’t alone got me through day one and on day 2 I posted for the first time. It’s def nice not feeling alone. I know all of you guys have helped to get me here. Though we have never met I will for ever hold all of you so close to my heart.

173 RKitty { 05.03.10 at 6:37 pm }

Well today would be day 11. Yeah! But I back tracked and now am at day 2 again. I don’t feel bad. I actually feel more empowered to beat this beast. Sunday morning after church when no one was looking in the parking lot. I took out my V bottle and dumped them all out on the street and jumped up and down and smashed them to power. It was really windy that morning and the wind came and washed them all away. I felt so strong that now I can do anything. I did take some on Friday and Saturday, but I had been clean for 8 days and they did not make me feel good like I imagined they would. I haven’t had any now for 1 day and 13 hours. Yeah! I don’t feel bad with any withdrawals yet. I hope I don’t get them again, but if I do I know I can do this. I hope. The craving I once had for them is gone. I’m not thinking of how can I get them anymore. I just want to live free and focus on my family, ME (for once), and Jesus. I start a new bible study tomorrow night, and hope to make some women fellowship that I desperately need in my life. This board is the only place I feel that someone understands the fear, that can over take you. Again, no withdrawal systems yet from my small mishap. I just pray they are not as bad as before. The withdrawals really scare me because I freak out when I’m alone and get really really depressed. But so far so good. Thank everyone who is praying for me and those of you just starting the withdrawals, they will get better. Praise Jesus.

174 OneDayAtaTime { 05.04.10 at 4:56 pm }

RKitty, Way to go. I know how that feeling of getting rid of your supply is. I flushed mine. Dumped them and watched them melt and flushed them away, away outa my life!!! I am glad your feeling so good. This board has made a huge change in the way I view my addiction. I am not “the only one”. It has helped to get me to day 9 b4 nooooooo way could I have done it….. I tried.

175 jen p { 05.06.10 at 7:41 am }

I was taking 14 -750ml.per day for 8 years,I am 37 yrs old,also drink about a case of beer a day,working in the bar biz.also I take soma,and xanax at night,and smoke the
Good weed….ok,I tapered myself down to 4 pills for 3 days,and then went cold turkey.I only felt bad the first day,and drank at work and blacked out…but besides the explosive diarria,and mild chills,and mild sweating,I am on my 4th day and I’m feeling great,also I felt great yesterday…could this be possible that I had hardly any wd symptoms?I have been on the thomas recipe though,I jst took the tryasino even though I feel mentally great!also I started my period on my 3rd day of detox,and I’m wondering if that helped me somehow.although you woud think that wopuld make things even worse,lol….well good luck to you all!I think a lot has to do with how strong your willpower is.with that you can conquer anything!!!for me,I am very strong willed,and can’t deny the wd symptoms” to be expected “,but other than that I fee so much happier without that monkey on my back,and jst knowing that alone is a great feeling of joy!!!things are so great to me now,little things that I didn’t notice before,because I was so hopped up in a numb daze all the time…hopefully you all wil feel the same!god bless!:-)

176 scared { 05.06.10 at 2:24 pm }

on day 10. It has gotten easier and easier. The first few days the guilt and depression wore me down but I kept busy… drug myself to work and did housework till I was exhausted enough to sleep. Then about 3 days ago I realized I hadn’t thought about pills at all the whole day. Was proud of myself for the first time in a long time. Appetite is starting to come back too. And even tho every once In a while I think about taking just one I remember those first 2 days. Not going to take a chance that I might slip right back into the rut. I am amazed at how happy and content I can be even without the pills but I think I am a better happier person now. That was a huge fear… what If people don’t like the sober me? But I am more comfortable being myself and not having to hide anything from anyone anymore. I didn’t realize how trapped I was. Never thought id say this but… pills are fun but being sober is amazing :) I couldn’t have done it if I hadnt found this site. Thank you everyone for making me feel so not alone and if there is any way I can help any of you like you helped me please let me know. And when it gets tough just remember that each tomorrow gets easier.

177 OneDayAtaTime { 05.06.10 at 9:39 pm }

Just saw your post “scared” good job!! I am on day 11 now. I 100% agree w/ all your feelings. By doing so doesn’t leave me much to say. I have been feeling really tired the last 3 days too. Waiting for that to go away! Dont want to go back to how I felt on them though. I have tried detoxing b4 and aways failed. Finding this board has made a huge change in my head…… I guess not feeling so alone? Being able to see people are doing it helps too. I just keep waning to feel lest tired and get my motivation back. Once that comes I will be ALLLLLLL GOOD!! Keep it up it is soooooooo worth it. One day ata time” soon we will turn around and look back and it will all be a distant memory.

178 Char { 05.07.10 at 5:18 am }

In my 20th day here and doing great. Sounds like everyone else is doing good as well. Keep up the good work guys. Metoo how have you been doing? Thats great, I wasnt trying to pick apart your detox, just worried about you, I thought about kratom as well to wean off opiates, just didnt like them. Keep us updated on how you are doing. Keep up the good work! Schmoe…how are you doing? How is your detox coming along?? Southernmom, I am a guy…in a heterosexual relationship. My gf isn’t any support to me…she works at an emergency room and always whines about drug seekers..not that I ever did that but if I needed money who knows what might have happened. So its unfortunate I cant count on her for support. How have you been?

179 southernmom { 05.07.10 at 10:12 am }

Hi Char,
I am so glad to hear from you and are really doing great with your detox, 20 days is quite an accomplishment.
I totally understand not having your significant other being your support, my husband doesn’t even know about my addiction. Sometimes he just notices I am not as happy as usual.
I am glad that we can be here for each other, it’s so comforting to know that there are othere going through the same thing you are going through, they understand and you have been very helpful when you share what you are going through so others can learn from it. I said it before and I’ll say it again, you are an inspiration to all us of us who need to detox and get this crap out of our lives. ‘
Please keep sharing, you are helping others and we all need your input.

180 jen p { 05.07.10 at 12:21 pm }

I am 37 yrs old,and was taking about 14-750s a day for 8 years,also I drink a case of beer everyday,and smoke take 1 xanax at nite,and1 soma at nite,so I took only 4 pills for 3 days,then went cold tukey,on the thomas r….I had hardly any withdrwels,also started my period on the second day,I’m wondering if this may have helped my body not feel withdrawels?although,you’d think it would make it worse!on my fourth day,I felt wonderful!!!extremely happy,I even worked all week ,and I work at a bikini bar,so I used to numb myself with the vikes jst to make it through the shift.but I felt great,even drank way less….I’m on day 5,and forgot to take the b-complex,and I don’t f
With vikes jst to make it through a shift!that was the hardest part of my pain.but I drank way less,because,I tried drinking as much as I normally do with the pills,and it gets you way drunk without them,I blacked out the first day doing that,so I had to cut down a lot!the buzz way heavier,without the pills.I’m on day 5 felling a little achy in my neck and I can feel my liver aching .I’m not as energetic as yesterday,I think its bcause I forggot to take the b-complex today.wow I felt on top of the world yesterday!super happy!!!!I love it!4 different ppeople offered me pills and I didn’t have any desire for them…good luck to you all!!!maybe you girls should try detoxing when your period comes,maybe that’s a cure????let me know…its a miracle that I had only diarria and slight chills and that’
it.I’m feeing super excite,and high on life!its so great!everything is brand new to me!like a child.hope you all get there too!it was way too easy,easier than all the fear I had getting off of them…I think u gotta also have strong willpower,your mind can make your body do weird things!just don’t think about it…good luck!!!

181 Sla { 05.07.10 at 2:23 pm }

Hello all…i have been sitting here for the past hour reading all of your posts and i just realized how much i am not alone. I have been taking 10mg Norcos three times a day for the past year and was suddenly cut off without notice yesterday. I had a refill request sent to my doctor on tuesday that went unanswered until i called the doctor myself yesterday, in which he says he’s done all he can for me, and i need to have a laparascopy done, but with no insurance will cost 10 grand, so he can no longer refill my pills. I was in shock and just hung up, but sat there for hours thinking about how i always thought i’d be able to ween myself off and how scared i am about having to quit cold turkey. So i called them back and reminded them that i had been on these demons for a year now and was concerned about withdrawals. The doctor finally called me in some tramadol today and said it will help get me through withdrawals. Is this true? Have any of you or anyone you know tried tramadol(ultram) 50mg to help with withdrawals? I am a 27 year old mother of a 5 and 8 yr old, my 5 yr old does not attend school yet so i am at home with her all day and am scared to death about not being able to hide in my room like i want to in order to get through this. I also attend college and have finals coming up on wednesday and thursday next week and am worried i wont be able to concentrate or sit through it. My fiance is very supportive but doesnt quite understand because he has never taken pain meds or illegal drugs a day in his life, therefore he has never had to face addiction. I am on hour 24 of no vicodin (or norco) now and have heard that the worst has yet to come. I have a few xanax handy but have never taken one so am kinda scared of them, but i think im more scared of the anxiety i will face. I have had anxiety problems for years even before i ever started the pain meds so im worried the anxiety will be unbearable. I took immodium today to prevent diarrhea. I’m scared to death and am an emotional, nervous wreck and would love some advice on what to do to get through this. Will i be able to get through final exams next week? Will i be able to take care of my children while detoxing? Will the tramadol help? Someone please help me with these questions! I know i’m not alone, but yet i feel like i am. I will be checking the posts frequently, as i truly believe you are the ones that will help me the most. Thank you!

182 metoo { 05.08.10 at 6:26 am }

Sla…hang in there! If you’ve got over 24 hours under your belt now, you’re on your way. I would think with a year of use your withdrawals shouldn’t be that terrible, and you probably do like I do~~get all worked up about it, and THAT is anxiety. Keep that xanax handy for the anxiety, and if you’ve never taken that before, I’d start out with a half a tablet of that.
Do you have any of the items in the Thomas Recipe?? For me, the potassium is the MOST important one. Try to get what you can to follow the recipe…it works!
Most importantly, you are so not alone. We are all here for the same reason…we are right here with you on your path. You’ll get through this, I promise!! And, you will be just fine by next week too. I can tell you are strong…you’ll make it, and hey, LOOK~~you’re already on your way!!! THINK POSITIVE…STAY UP….and keep posting!! Prayers are going out to you, Sla!!

183 jen p { 05.08.10 at 9:30 am }

To sla,-dont be scared!its not that bad…I was taking 3 times as much as you,for 3 times longer than yoi,and I hardly had any withdrawels.it wasn’t that bad!jst do the thopmas recipe,and take the xanax,ibuprofin works great take 800 ml twice a day.I feel great!!!!I’m on day 6 and if you can,get the b-comlex.it works wonders!!!!oh,and along with the tyrisine.start that on day 3….its really pretty mental…if your strong willed,then you probly won’t feel that bad…don’t let the horror stories scare you.
Don’t even think about it…oh btw,I got the runs from the tyisine,but I felt great!!!!so better off without those pills.you think you need them,but reaally its all the fear of the stories you hear about that makes you fear the worst is gonna happen…don’t let your mind go there…think positive.the outcome is wonderful,let me tell you…good luck to you!you can get through a couple uncomfortable days,jst do it!!!!

Btw,u don’t need that stuff the dr.gave you,don’t take it…jst go clean frm any of that garbage,I guarantee you will love how you feel !!!!


184 Sla { 05.08.10 at 9:33 am }

Thank you soooo much metoo!! I am now 42 hours hydrocodone free!! The tramadol is working wonders for me and the doc only prescribed me a weeks worth so i dont have to worry about getting addicted to that too! The anxiety is the worst, along with some pretty horrible muscle aches in my neck, but other than that, i slept a full 8 hours last night, i’m eating, and having no flu-like symptoms or diarrhea yet! The hot showers help with the muscle aches and i’ve just been dealing with the anxiety. I dont have any potassium but i’ll definitely look into getting some today! I appreciate your prayers like you wouldn’t believe! I know with all of the support i have, i CAN get through this!

185 Sla { 05.08.10 at 9:37 am }

Thank you jen p! I only took two of the tramadol yesterday and i think it helped me through the worst of it. I haven’t taken any today and i feel okay, just a little fatigued. So i will be getting the b complex and l-tyrisine when i get the potassium today and see if i cant muster up some energy to get on with my life! Thanks again for the advice jen!

186 jen p { 05.08.10 at 10:05 am }

Sla,good for you!!!!glad your feelin good:-)I have neck pain also,”weird”idk why that is?lol…so epsom salt is really good in the bath also…I’m happy for you,and you will be so proud of yourself when you know you conquered this little pill…take care,and hang in there!:-)your pretty much there…

187 Shmoe { 05.08.10 at 10:28 am }

It is so nice to hear everyone doing so well. I am on day 6 clean, and not too bad. Still a little depressed, anxious, craving that opiate buzz; but because of a few of the people on this board I think I might just make it this time. metoo, southernmom and onedayatatime have been kind and supportive beyond anything I could imagine. Thanks also to some of you others – Char you too were a big help.

To whoever now has tramadol – that seemed to help me a while back but at that time I was not ready to quit so for psychological reasons I went right back to vics. But the tramadol did minimize withdrawal symptoms.

I hate to say it, but I really hope this is all worth it. I am scared I’ll go through withdrawal and in 3 weeks think – wow life sucks I think I’ll go back to being an addict and enjoy the buzz. But I guess I’ll find out!

188 metoo { 05.08.10 at 11:41 am }

I hear you, Shmoe….I feel the same way. Life sucks, and vics make me happy. What is the answer to that dilemma??? If anyone has ideas, I’m all ears!!!
It also seems that detoxing is pretty easy to forget when you’re done and over it. Then it doesn’t seem like it was all that bad, so I could just go back to vics again. And I think the easier the detox, the easier it would be to go back to using again.
Does anyone have any answers for these dilemmas??

189 Sla { 05.08.10 at 7:21 pm }

well i’m 52 hours without now and i have been fine up until recently today i got a horrible headache i can’t get rid of and it seems unbearable at times, especially with the awful anxiety! I have 2 vicodin stashed and have been at war with myself on whether or not to just take one and make everything better. I’m winning the war so far but not sure for how much longer if i cant figure out how to tame this awful headache!! Anyone know what to do to for the headache part? I’m open to any suggestions that might keep me away from those damn vicodin!

190 OneDayAtaTime { 05.08.10 at 7:48 pm }

You have read my mind @meetoo. I worry that a minth or so down the road I will look back and say that wasnt too bad so whats one more. I know as long as I dont take for granted my health and notice the changes that I am noticing now it may help to keep me from popping one. Also no more lies or keeping things from people I care about. Only time will tell ?????

191 metoo { 05.08.10 at 9:20 pm }

Sla…I would take the last two, get it over with, enjoy them, and KNOW that that’s IT. I notice the time on your post and know that you’ve already made your decision I’m sure, but you know me~~~gotta get my two cents worth in!!! LOL!!!! You really can’t have “strays” around and stay sane. Get them gone and have that issue no more, I say!!!
Shmoe rocks….he is on day 6, well, heck, it’s after midnight, so HE’S ON DAY 7!!!!!! He rocked right PAST day 3, folks….that has been the hardest day for him in the past, and he just flew right through it!!! :D I am so proud of Shmoe…. Geez, where ARE my pom-poms???? Yay, rah! Shmoe is great, Ya! :D
One day~~we are going to have to keep each other strong. We have to keep reminding each other how terrible it was…how worried we were for each other…

To all: Please let us never forget the power of prayer. Prayers for ourselves, and prayers for others. When you pray, please include all of us here~the people whom you have never met, but share a bond with. The people who rely on the Grace and Mercy of God to get us through. Thank you to all who have had me in their prayers….you know who you are, and fortunately, so does God. Everyone reading this rocks!!!!! :)

192 Sla { 05.08.10 at 10:06 pm }

metoo, your two cents means alot at this point! lol! I still haven’t taken the two vicodin i have. I’m testing myself to see how strong i can be, but funny enough i’m not strong enough to throw them out or flush them. I guess they’re my crutch right now. I really haven’t thought too much about them except when the headaches and anxiety start feeling unbearable. But i’ve forced myself to not take them and i took a tramadol instead. I think the tramadol might be causing some of the headaches and also contributing to my sleeplessness. Things are still seeming kinda foggy to me at times and these last couple of days have felt like FOREVER!! 55 hours down now! Is it gonna get harder from here or easier? I sure hope my Mother’s Day isn’t ruined :( Which reminds me, Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful, strong mothers on here! I’m taking it day by day, hour by hour. Thanks everyone for your support, especially you metoo, your faith makes me stronger!!

193 OneDayAtaTime { 05.09.10 at 8:42 am }

Sla, way to go keeping them near you and not taking them. It took me a few days into detox b4 I could bring myself to flush mine. I dumped them and watched them go down :) :) Your body just needs to regulate. Those pills have messed with stuff that needs to be cleaned out. I am on day 14!!!! I have been feeling better and better each day! I had a few days with anxiety too if you dont have Zanax try valerian root, its what they make valium from you can buy it just about anywhere. @meetoo told me to up my thyrosine and sam-e because I was so tired. It worked! I take 1,500 mg of thyrosine when I wake up and 400mg of sam-e. one day ata time, you will turn around and look back and know with all of your soul you did the right thing. Hang in there!! My prayers and thoughs are with you

194 Sla { 05.09.10 at 10:45 am }

Thank you OneDayAtaTime! I’m 67 hours free now! The anxiety and headaches have been better today! I slept 8 hours last night and feel pretty good today, just a little fatigued. I’ve been eating bananas and taking the vitamin B6. I think the thing that bothers me most is the actual pain i was taking the medicine for in the first place! I will try ibuprofen and see if it helps. My fiancee tried to find me some l-tyrosine last night and couldnt find it so i’ll have to go somewhere else and look for it. Am i past the physical part yet?

195 OneDayAtaTime { 05.09.10 at 1:32 pm }

I understand 100% !! I was put on vikes following a car accident that fractured my c-5 in my next in 2003 then in 2005 I was rearended again and totally messed up my lower back. I has been fearful to stop taking them too for fear of the pain too. I have been able to hang in there. Motrin has been helping too. I know the L-thyrosine has helped me a ton!! As for being done with the worst of it……. If you were me I would say make it to dat 3-4 and thats the ending of the worst. I noticed a huge change in my cravings and tiredness once I got to day 5. That was also the day I started taking more of the l-thyrosine and same-e.
I feel happier, sleep better, and I am not feeling as numb as I was while on the vikes. I didnt notice how much of me was turned down or off on those peices of caca :) I keep telling myself: next hour will be better than this and tomorrow will be better and brighter than today. “one day ata time” Looking back as I write you I must admit after day 5 I lost track!!! It must be that after day 5 my system just went with the flow and it became easier. Take care, stay strong, your doiing GREAT!!!!!!!

196 Sla { 05.09.10 at 2:35 pm }

I am soooo looking forward to the happiness coming my way after conquering this! I remember thinking after i would take my vicodin, how i wished i wasn’t on them. I would look at my kids and fiance and wish my life were as easy and vicodin free as theirs. I felt guilt with every dose i took. I didnt wanna clean my house, take care of pets or even leave the house half the time if i didnt absolutely have to. I was numb to everything around me sadly. I am looking forward to not feeling that way anymore. No more guilt, numbness, fatigue and depression caused from vicodin. I too will soon be one of the people i used to wished i were! And i couldn’t do it without the immense support i’m getting from your posts!! I am now at 72 hours!! 3 days down!! Woohoo!! :)

197 OneDayAtaTime { 05.09.10 at 3:08 pm }

Your addiction sounds so much like mine. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything either…. unless I had to. Some days once I got moving I was ok. This might help to keep you going: On day 6 of my detox I rearranged my whole living room and polished my living room floors. Somthing I had dreams of doing, made my self feel guilty for never getting around to doing it, and had I started it on Vikes Id of NEVER finished lol. Today I woke up had some coffee took my L-thyrosine and washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor all before the kids got up!!!
NEVER NEVER would I have gotten that done in a week. I would have wanted to and it wouldnt have happend ~insert guilt here~ Promise YOU will come back and be the carefree mom you are meant to be without addiction. It is sooooo worth it. I ma looking back at all the guilt I have been putting on myself all these years and wondering why I didn’t do this sooner. I know back then it wasnt meant to be now is.!!!!

198 Sla { 05.09.10 at 4:52 pm }

Oh wow that sounds like me! Two years ago when i moved in with my fiance i was a neat freak and cleaned every single day…every room in the house was immaculate until i became addicted to the vicodin. It took everything i had just to wash the dishes or a load of laundry! Our bedroom and bathroom need an overhaul in cleaning! I can’t wait to be able to get all these things done and get back to my neat freak self!! Not to mention getting out of the house to take my children to the park on nice days or go shopping..things i wouldn’t normally feel like doing while on the vikes!! Thank you again OneDayAtaTime! You make me realize all the awesome things i have to look forward to in the days ahead, which makes it easier to forget the nightmares i’m leaving behind in the past!!

199 OneDayAtaTime { 05.09.10 at 6:00 pm }

I am realizing them now!! so now is a good time to pick my brain lol. I got so much done today I am still in shock. All though I do still feel alitte tired and depressed Its NOTHING like when I was popping those evil things. I even notice the sun feeling nicer ect. Oh, and my kids laughs how beautiful they are. Too many years turned way down for me. I am excited for you to start turning up and on. I look forward to hearing all your milestones. I know you will have them just having them happpen makes it easier to get through the tough times. If you want to e-mail me my addy is OneDayAtaTime777@yahoo.com. Just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it IS NOT a train…….. its the rest of your life waiting for you to enjoy all of it to the fullest.

200 Jeff { 05.10.10 at 9:40 am }

Hey everyone,

I’ve been on Vicodin (12-17/day 7.5mg). Today is day one of unplanned withdrawals. Is there anyone who’d be able to email back and forth with me to help me through this? Thank you all for the help.


201 metoo { 05.10.10 at 10:18 am }

Please say a prayer for all of those on this board when you finish reading this post. Please pray that we find a way to fill the void that our opiates were thought to fill. When we take the opiates away, sure, we can get through the withdrawal, we can do the detox…but THEN WHAT???
Please post ideas of ways to fill the void. Let’s brainstorm, folks. I know that I am now left with a void. Please help me, and the others with advice on the next step….

202 Shmoe { 05.10.10 at 12:12 pm }

I too would love to hear ideas on how to fill this void left by no opiates..

203 Shmoe { 05.10.10 at 12:13 pm }

But whatever happens I continue to pray for everyone dealing with this crap.

204 Sla { 05.10.10 at 1:59 pm }

metoo, in one hour i will be 4 days free of vicodin but still have a burning sensation in my stomach and no energy. I cant stop thinking about taking one pill! But just to throw a few ideas at ya of what i’ve been doing to help keep my mind off of it…i have found some good books that grabbed my interest and make me wanna keep reading to see what will happen next, and also, as lame as some people may think, i am really involved in alot of facebook games such as farmville, fishville, cafe world..LOL…i know it sounds dumb but it has been keeping me busy! Theres always something to do! Feed fish, harvest crops, etc…or i play on pogo.com…i have met alot of really neat people playing the facebook games, so i feel like i have alot of friends to spend time with in a weird sort of way, and its one of the few things that helps me smile at a time like this. I know these aren’t things everyone likes to do but its just a jumping off point to the brainstorming you asked for! I’m just trying anything to keep me busy so i dont think of wanting to take a pill or about the things i did or didnt do when taking a pill…i cant afford a gym membership or anything like that right now so i went the free route with facebook and reading books or watching a good movie on t.v….atleast until i find something more productive to do!

205 metoo { 05.10.10 at 2:27 pm }

Great input, Sla!! EXACTLY the kind of stuff I was looking for…hey, you might want to check out Netflix too….for about $9 a month you can watch as many movies as you want; shipping is included, and they are pretty quick.

I am also concerned about a long term fill in. How will we fill the time…how will we occupy our minds? How many days does it take to break a habit??? I think I heard that it’s 15 days….

206 OneDayAtaTime { 05.10.10 at 4:33 pm }

Way to go Sla!! So happy to hear you are still trucken along! Funny I joined facebook too just to have that to keep me busy also.
It takes 15 days to break a habit and at least a month for your body to stop craving the opiate. Each day of that month it does get easier, though. I am on day 15 and have noticed that I am not reacting/ or thinking to wanting to swallow a pill….. thats the habit part. I wish I could offer ideas on how to fill the void. I have just been starting projects and keeping busy. For me being able to want to start a project or want to go shopping helps me to see a positive difference and gives me a lil boost to keep going. Take care all of you :)

207 Sla { 05.10.10 at 4:41 pm }

I agree OneDayAtaTime! I have also taken up scrapbooking and hope to have the energy to work on it more when i feel better! Today has actually been pretty rough…a very painful day with the actual pain i was taking the vicodin for…trying to just take advil and tylenol again and make myself believe it’s helping. My fiance is at the store right now trying to track down some l-tyrosine and b-complex for me. I hope it works! Do you have to take it in the morning or can you take it anytime? I’m heading towards day 5 now and trying to stay strong! You guys are super awesome! I know for a fact i couldn’t have done it without your support! :)

208 OneDayAtaTime { 05.10.10 at 5:29 pm }

I pray he finds it for you. Do you have a health food type store where you live?? Thats where I found it. I take it first thing in the am on a emtpy stomach. I started taking 1000 mg and I needed more so I take 1,500mg in the am and then around noon or 1 I take another 1000mg. You can take up to 4000 mg a day. VitaminB works well too. When I start to drag during the day I put a few drops under my toung and I feel better. Are you planning on taking Sam-e too? I took Sam-e for a few years awhile back and it def. helps to bring your mood up!! I didn’t have the L-thyrosine or sam-e when I started detox. Once I felt up to it I went to the store and bought some. I took it in the parking lot and I can 100% say I felt a big dif. with in the hour. I hope your husband finds it for you. You are very lucky to have him so willing to help :) Lucky Lady :) I am on I think day14 or 15 and feeling good…. sometimes great. You are in whe worst of it now, hang in there. I posted my email for you if you have any ?s you need an answer to quickly. I am logged on all the time through my phone. If you cant find it where you live I know you can buy it on the intenet and have it maild to your home. Take care :) :)

209 ChasingDragon { 05.10.10 at 6:03 pm }

Trying to quit bought the kronton was wondering if southernmom tried it yet. Was thinking about taking it.

210 Sla { 05.10.10 at 6:17 pm }

i just got the l-tyrosine and b-complex…took it just as fast as i could get the bottle open! Hope it helps! I’ll let everyone know how it works for me!

211 OneDayAtaTime { 05.10.10 at 6:40 pm }

HA HA tell you hubby good job for not giving up and finding it for you. Please check in w/ us tomorrow and fill us in!!

212 jen p { 05.11.10 at 8:28 am }

Jeff,ib was taking the same amount for 8 years…I went cold turkey.its uncomfortable,but jst do it!u can get through this mentally…I’m on my 9th day clean,and a guy handed me a bottle at the bar yesterday,I have them,but I don’t want a single one.that’s way in the past now.done with it.do the thomas recipe,it works!!!and ibuprophen and bcomplex and red bull…hang in,you can do it!!!!

213 jen p { 05.11.10 at 8:38 am }

Jeff-plus I work at a bar,wanting to be numb,jst to get thropugh the day with all the pervs tryin to grab me in my bikini,and I even made it through a whole week of work detoxing,diarria,the runs ect,and I did it!its amazing!stay busy,and have a lot of sex,and take epsom salt baths….you can do it!!!!!!
B.t.w.,sex is so much better now!

214 jen p { 05.11.10 at 8:56 am }

Jeff-also drink ensure with ur vitamins in the morning,1 hour aftr the tyrosine….I startd mine on my 3erd day.stay busy io workd all week,even with the runs while having to wear a bikini working in a pervert bar…so if I can do it I’m sure anyone can…stay active !u can do it!u don’t need those pils!!!!!

215 jen p { 05.11.10 at 4:40 pm }

Jst got b-12 under tongue shots,but beware u can have too much b12….it works wonders though,along with the sunshine!get some rays!!!!

Oh,and fish oil omega 3…..and try to go have sushi….

216 jen p { 05.11.10 at 5:11 pm }

Hi sla.glad u got the b complex and the tyrosine….I jst had a very taxing past 2 days,because of family issues….but I got some b-12 2500ml spray,and it works to get u motivated,if ur alone….I live alone,so its hard for me…..good luck to u and all of u!god bless!!!!

217 Shmoe { 05.12.10 at 4:50 am }

Glad to here peole are doing well.

Question that I shouldn’t be asking, but if you stay clean for a few weeks, then take a few vics for one day, is that “free” or do you typically go through the whole withdrawal thing again?

218 Sla { 05.12.10 at 11:17 am }

Thanks Jen! I am on day 6 now and have made it through the worst! Still have a little bit of a burning sensation in my stomach and feel fatigued at times, but the l-tyrosine and b-complex have really been helping to give me that small boost to get me going! Shmoe, i haven’t been clean for weeks and already wonder the same thing! Especially when i’m suffering from the pain and i know relief is right there in my kitchen drawer! I battle with myself constantly: i only have a couple left, i can’t get anymore so what’s the harm?, it took a year to get addicted, whats one day?….thankfully my withdrawals scared me enough to win the battle and not take them but i’m still not at the point where i’m strong enough to toss them out. I hope everyone else out there is staying strong and doing well!!

219 southernmom { 05.12.10 at 11:56 am }

Hi Chasing dragon, I haven’t tried the Kratom yet, metoo said I should give it a go, I just need to do it at a time that if I have an adverse reaction that I am not around my family and.or friends. I have a dy planned to try and I can let you know. If you try it before then, let me know how it works for you.

220 metoo { 05.13.10 at 8:49 am }

You know, I think I check this website TOO often! How could I have missed Chasing Dragon’s post?? Please DO let us know how the kratom is working for you, CD…

Shmoe is still doing just GREAT!! We are so proud of him! :) Keep up the good work there, Shmoe!

For anyone else that would like to be a part of our “more familiar” team to help or be helped…just shoot us an email. Southernmom, Shmoe, Onedayatatime, Sla and Jeff are a part of a smaller group interacting via email. Oh, yeah, and I guess I’m in their group too, so Metoo is too! (That’s a lot of too’s!) :D For anyone who would like to join us, here is my email address.
All are welcome, and no one judges. DFZ….”Drama Free Zone” :) See YOU there?!

221 jen { 05.15.10 at 4:07 pm }

I need something for energy i have none at alll!

222 Tasha { 05.16.10 at 12:46 pm }

I have been taking 10-12 norco (yellow) for about 10 months. I ran out last Wednesday and have been going through withdrawals ever since. Really bad at first, but still not doing good. I have a 13 month old and this is going to sound horrible, but he’s still being breastfed. My biggest problem (well, obviously there are a few big problems here) is that I’ve stopped producing breast milk. I talked to my doctor when I started taking these (originally for a staff infection) and he said as long as my baby progresses well, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I’m torn right now between making it through this withdrawal cold turkey, or calling my doctor and getting in sometime in the next couple days and getting a new script. I feel guilty about taking them in the first place, but even more guilty that I feel like I can’t take care of my baby. My boyfriend thinks I have the flu, he didn’t know about the pain meds continuing this long. I’m at a total loss of what to do. Oh, and we’re moving in two weeks and I have to pack and know I’m not going to have any energy.

223 metoo { 05.17.10 at 9:47 am }

Tasha….you do realize that your baby is also addicted now as well?? Please DON’T get a new prescription. I think you’ve probably done enough harm to your child. Feed the baby baby food, and know that HE will be going through withdrawals also!!!

At some point we need to realize what our addiction is doing to others. Prime example here. PRIME.

I don’t mean to be so harsh, Tasha, but what you do to YOUR body is YOUR BUSINESS. What you do to your BABY is WRONG. Get off it NOW….

I am praying for you….

224 jen { 05.17.10 at 9:49 am }

That is a bad situation but if you are already passed the first couple of days of withdrawl i wouldnt take anymore you are passed the worst part. you can do it it is hard I have 4 kids so I know its tough

225 Tasha { 05.17.10 at 6:31 pm }

I just want to say, for the record, that before taking any medication whatsoever, I talked to the pediatrition, I talked to my doctor and also did research on the internet. Our bodies are medical wonders and it’s amazing how they can process things. I completely understand concerns people may have over what I posted. I thought and worried the same things myself. But my son has shown no signs of having any problems other than he’s upset over the lack of breastmilk which I can only guess is caused because of the shock my body went through, as well as my lack of calorie consuption. I’m going to stick it out, but just know that I do take my role parenting seriously and would never do anything to knowingly hurt my child.

226 Tasha { 05.17.10 at 6:36 pm }

You know, I think the fact that I was initially given the medication for a serious staff infection and questioned both the hospital and the pediatrition and they said it was fine and nothing to worry about is why I let it go so long.

227 southernmom { 05.18.10 at 8:55 am }

Did you ever think that your baby misses the breast milk because he is addicted and even a baby knows that when something makes them feel good they crave it. He is craving your breast milk for his fix!!!!
I agree with metoo, you need to stop taking any and all medications if you are going to try and breast feed your baby again. What you put into you comes out in your fluids!
If you do decided to get another prescription please do not feed your precious baby your toxic milk.

228 metoo { 05.18.10 at 10:26 am }

I am trying to keep my stuffing IN about this situation. Tasha…you have been BLESSED with a child. I wasn’t. Maybe that will help you to understand my view a bit better~I pray it does!
If your serious staff infection is over, your meds need to be too. You have a precious family to take care of. As a mother, you KNOW what is good for your family, your baby. A doctor is just doing the same thing everyone else does~get through the day/week of work. Just saying that a doctor does not LOVE your son the way you do. Hence, do you REALLY think the doctor gives a crap??? THE MOTHER is the GUARDIAN of that child. THE MOTHER is ULTIMATELY responsible. You KNOW IN YOUR HEART that you are jeopardizing your child by carrying on an addiction long past the infection. So, I think if I were you, I would switch your 1 year old son to jars of baby food. HE’S A YEAR OLD, FGS!!

If there is any doubt in your mind that you need to be done with this addiction, for the love of Christ, get your baby on his own diet before you get ANY more. Tasha, you are first in my prayers at this time. And so is your boy… PLEASE let us know how you are doing~~~and AGAIN, I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh. On one hand I would love to come unglued and really say things. But, the other hand is where it comes into my mind that we are all children of God. If I can help you Tasha, I am here…you’ll both be ok…but it’s very very very important that you stop his addiction too. He didn’t ask for it.

229 jen { 05.18.10 at 12:19 pm }

I agree with them also dont give your baby the breast milk , if you want to continue using pills which i pray you dont that is on you but dont give the baby breast milk. I have children and I never breast fed because I took diet pills and did notwant them to harm my children they were bottle fed from day one. Also yes the pills will affect the baby in some form I pray you get better and hope the best for you and your baby.

230 Shmoe { 05.19.10 at 3:49 am }

For whatever it is worth Tasha – we are all struggling with addiction here so we know how hard it is to quit. If you can’t quit today we get it.

The real point is that it is not worth the risk of feeding your baby opiates. So if you can’t quit, get formula and skip the breast milk. And I know from experience that metoo will be the first to pray for you and support you as you try to quit your own addiction.

231 Tasha { 05.19.10 at 7:14 am }

You know, when i first was looking online to find out how long my withdrawal syptoms would last and if there was something I could do to aleviate them, I found this site and thought “how great, a forum of people who encourage and support one another while going through similar circumstance”. I had no idea it was actually a forum of judgemental a-holes with Ph.Ds hanging on their walls. My doctor was aware of what amounts I was taking. Don’t you think if it was cause for concern, he would have made mention of it? When I first started taking them, I called the pediatrion, they said also, not to worry. I then looked it up online. Something like .01% of medication ends up in the breastmilk, which after a few hours, your metoblism takes care of. One hour after giving birth via c-section, I was on morphine every 30 minutes for the first 18 hours, and then percocet every 3 hours for 10 days. All the while breastfeeding every hour or two. Strange how all of you seem to know more than the doctors. I would encourage you to all to make sure you know what your talking about before passing judgements. I have stopped taking them, talked to both my boyfriend and mom (neither of which were critical of me unlike the people on this site, and they’re related to my son!). My son has shown ZERO signs of anything being wrong. He’s been an on-demand feeder since day one, and when momma’s milk stopped coming in as strong as he was used to, thats what he was upset about. He was gone with his dad a full day at gramma’s my second day of detox and there was nothing wrong with him.

Don’t bother responding, I’m not checking back into this site. I get it sounds logical that everything ends up in the milk, but I would never had taken anything stronger than a tylonel if I thought for one second it would harm my baby. Not that I really give a s##t what you people think.

232 southernmom { 05.19.10 at 8:07 am }

Wow, must have hit a nerve!!!!
I’d like to what state Tahsa lives in where doctors tell their patients to take opiates and breast feed.
I didn’t mean for my comments to offend her, I just wanted to speak on behalf of her baby who has no voice.
I hope and pray she finds the help she needs.

233 metoo { 05.19.10 at 10:10 am }

I’m sorry that we did hit a nerve, but I’ve done some looking into this subject also! One of the most pertinent things I found:


Tasha, I wish the best for you, and I’m sorry that you were so offended that we were being overprotective of your son. But, that main thing is, SOMETHING woke you up, and that’s what you needed. I am proud to be someone who offended you for the sake of your son. He needed us. We helped him, whether you are angry now or not doesn’t matter. He was heard.

Best wishes, Tasha!! Prayers are still coming your way.

234 Ccmiller { 05.20.10 at 9:27 am }

Hey all I have been following this post. Am a addict myself. On 48 hours of withdrawls. But how is everyone doing. Southernmom and metoo. How are you two doing. Keep me posted I am praying for us all. Keep positive. Something that has helped a little is jogging. I know it may seem like “no way” but I am not a jogger and after around the block once I feel better. Now it lasts for like a hour but that’s eternity for us. Lol. Love u all keep me poster

235 Blackdogp89 { 05.21.10 at 10:13 am }

I have been addicted to opiates in one form or another for 8 years now. It started with Vicodin ES; 3 pills every 4 hours for years. Fast forward til the last year, I have been taking 9 Vicodin ES or 12 OXY’s evry 4 hours. Or Rather 270mg of Hydrocodone, or 240mg-320mg of Oxycodone every day. I do this not to brag, but I need to get this off my chest. Not only am I posting this today, I started the process of entering a Treatment Center today. It includes methadone treatment, but people I have tried evrything else. Everything. I have been in NA, I have done in-patient programs, outpatient programs, and Suboxone. Nothing seems to work. I am at my wits end. Life is too painful living like this. I am a father of 2 daughters, and work for a sucessful auto manufacturer. I don’t consider myself a “people person”, but I need people to support me through this. Although I have not started the Methadone yet (I will on Tuesday), I will try the Thomas Recipie, because my options have run out. Please help me guys. I’m going to die if I keep going on.

236 southernmom { 05.23.10 at 11:47 am }

Hey Cemiller,
2 days into detox and you have already found something that makes you feel good, even if it’s only for a couple hours, CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is huge step, finding something, anything to take your mind of the addiction is the case scenario. You should be very proud of yourself!
I haven’t started my detox yet but I have really tapered down to where I am doing about 1/3 of what I used to do. Keeping myself busy in the morning and keeping my mind off the drugs is my biggest hurdle, I go to the gym, clean the house, do my work from home, do my sewing and try to get lost in what I’m doing rather than what I would rather be doing.
I am also trying kick my addiction to alcohol, I have been a steady drinker since I was 16, being in the bar biz was easy access to liquor all day long. I find the more I drink the more pills I want so kicking both seems to be the only wy to go.
I really appreciate your prayers and I have added you to my prayer list also.
It helps to know you are not alone, there are many of us out there and we all need each other’s support to get through this and get our lives back.

237 southernmom { 05.23.10 at 12:04 pm }

Hey there! WOW you have really been through alot! I don’t know the reason you were on the vics but with the amount you were taking you must have been in some serious pain.
Going to the treatment center is a huge step and methadone is an even bigger step. I have seen addicts that get off one drug and get on methadone and then have to get off that and it is intense, but if it gets your life and your mind together then that’s what you need to do for yourself, your family and your future.
You say you are not a people person but you came to this board and put yourself out there and I want you to know that you have come to the right place. There are so many of us who support each other through this and you have joined our support group. I am so proud of you for reaching out for someone to listen to you, give advice if we can and most of all pray for you. Believe me this groups prayers have changed my life and I know that I have the stength and the courage to kick this crap that’s killing me. We want to be there for you too. Metoo, Shmoe and myself have formed a prayer bond that has helped us make huge steps in our recovery and we will be there for you too.
The Thomas recipe works and we all have adapted it to our own likes and dislikes and we can give you our advice and support even while you are in rehab.
It’s Sunday and everybody will be checking in by Monday and we will circle the wagons and be there for you in whatever way you need us.
Tonight I will pray for you, my prayer is that you know you are not alone and also that God loves you!
If there is anything else you need from me, just let me know, I am here!

238 TDog { 05.23.10 at 11:28 pm }

Wow. I stumbled onto this site and read everything you have all written non stop. I have been on and off of pain killers for 14 years. When I was 21 I broke my ankle and took my pain killers as needed, however, I found that I really liked them and took them even after I didn’t need them anymore.
Through the years I would get a persciption here and there…faking my pain mostly…and I would take the entire perscription of 20 or 30 pills within a few days. It would be weeks or months before the next script so it was mostly recrational use until recently. The past two to three months I started using opiates quite regularly, increasing the mg’s more and more and taking the pills daily for almost 3 months. For the first time it was very easy to purchase and I took full advantage of that. I already quit drinking and have been sober from alcohol for 61 days. Now its time to kick my pill habit. I’m 35 years old, just got married and if I want the happy, healthy family I’ve always dreamed of, then its time to take back control.
I was so excited after reading everyones comments last night that I logged on today to see if there were new posts. You are all an inspiration and truly give me hope. I can relate to every single one of you. Last night I prayed for all of you and I know you will keep me in your prayers too. I start my detox on Tuesday. I tapered down today and a have a few for tomorrow. I’m planning on going out to get every vitamin/mineral needed tomorrow so I will be prepared first thing Tuesday morning. I will keep everyone updated daily and I will continue to pray for you all. I feel very fortunate to have found this special group of people and I believe it was God that helped me find you all.

239 southernmom { 05.24.10 at 11:10 am }

Hey Tdog!
I also belive that God has brought us all together on this web-site. I have felt the overwhelming love in the prayers and I feel the rejoice when I can lift up others. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, I am trying to do that alos, my detox starts next week and the closer the day gets the more I look forward to not letting this drug have a strangle hold on me and my life anymore.
You wants prayers, well you got ‘em!
Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing , we are all in the same boat and we all keep each other’s head above the water and we will be there for you!
Take it one day at a time, and each day is one step closer to sobriety. Kicking alcohol was HUGE!!! If you can do that, you can do anything tomorrow will be 62 days, you should be so proud of yourself.
stay in touch!!!

240 jess { 05.24.10 at 12:26 pm }

I’m on day 11 of no pills. Glad I’m off em, but I have no desire or energy to do anything! With the pills, they seemed to give me a boost of energy and I felt like I needed them to get things done. Now I feel so tired and worn out all the time. I take a multi-vitamin, but think maybe should try something else. I just want some energy and some motivation. Any suggestions?

241 jen p { 05.25.10 at 3:00 pm }

Jess!do the thomas recipe,I’m 30 days clean now after 10years of abusing vikes….everyday gets better,jst go walk it will get ur blood flowing!it works!stay really busy!also get the tyrosine,and b12!drink red bull….make sure u eat well also!even if u have to drink ensure!its so nice not having to worry when and where ur gonna get ur nxt pil…such a relief,wow!god bless!its a whole new world!delightful,keep it up!it gets better everday!but my first 2 weeks I thought the detox was over,but you wil have one good day and the next be really bad!jst hang in!I’m on my 30?day and feeling almost bacjk to my normal self….god bless!!!!

242 southernmom { 05.25.10 at 3:17 pm }

I agree with Jen. From this board everyone says the Thomas recipe works, you just need to find what works for you. Everything on the list has it’s own reason for detox, physical, mental… You need to experiment and find out what works for you. Vitamins, caffiene, herbal supplimetns, try everything and see how it makes you feel, working out, your diet and things that make you feel good like music, movies, crafts, sports… whatever makes you happy, this is the time to take care of you, be good to you and do those things that you usually don’t do, but make you happy (except the vics).
The other thing is to pray, let God in and let Him help you. I will be praying for you and you need to be selfish right now and pray for yourself like crazy.
Good luck and stay in touch

243 B { 05.25.10 at 5:21 pm }

so I remember reading somewhere in this long commentary about some of you using Kratom to help with the detox. how did that work out?

244 metoo { 05.26.10 at 8:30 am }

Kratom works for me!!! I didn’t have any withdrawals at all. It’s the lesser of the evils, IMO! I got mine from kratomking.com, and also from kratomherbs.com. Both seemed great! Yes, I am a certified Kratom fan…. Thank God it helped me to kick vics.

245 jess { 05.26.10 at 10:16 am }

I am on day 14, still so tired. Started taking the vitamins and supplements that are in the Thomas recipe this morning. I’ve been doing a little research on Kratom. I’m tempted to try it for the lift in energy, but afraid of side effects and dependancy.

246 metoo { 05.26.10 at 10:32 am }

Eat extra fiber to avoid the biggest side effect. If you don’t want to be dependent, don’t take it everyday. Simple! :) For me, it’s nice to know that there is something I CAN take when I want a buzz. Nice buzz, too…

247 Shmoe { 05.27.10 at 3:42 am }

I haven’t had time to post for a while, but I jsut had to add my 2 cents for you guys that have recently joined, I haev been praying for all of you. Most of us can identify to some degree with the mental pain you are going through, Blackdog89, TDog, jess, JenP and ccmiller, I am praying for all of you. Blackdog89 – I also pray that your family can be supportive through this time, it makes a big difference.

In return, you guys help inspire me. My dear friends metoo and southernmom have been so increbily supportive.

FYI – ealrlier thsi month I went 11 days clean, then had dental issues that caused me to use again. Now I am on day 2 clean again – no real physical issues, but the mental part is as tough as it ever was. I had hoped to be able to detox and then just use recreationally, but for me I don’t know if that’s really possible.

Good luck to everyone!

248 Tammy { 05.30.10 at 8:30 am }

I have been taking 6, 10 mg daily for several years and have cut down to 1 1/2 for the past 3 days, if I keep tapering down by 1/2 a day every 4th day will I still have the horrible w/d when I finally go from 1/2 to 0? should I start the thomas recipe now to help when i do quit?

249 fatigued { 05.30.10 at 6:47 pm }

Hello everyone .. I thought I would come back and post after a couple months to let everyone know that the physical withdrawls and fatigue are finally over. It really did take 2 months and a *hell* of a lot of mental will-power. The physical withdrawl symptoms I kicked with suboxone .. the mental …. well I think that will still be a battle for some time. I picked up about 10 pills from a source a couple months ago as I posted before and as of today, I have 2 pills remaining. I started off taking around 1-2mg in the morning and 1mg at night (to help me sleep)…believe it or not, that was actually enough to make me feel fairly normal. I did this routine for about 2 weeks. Not going to lie, I did break down and *tried* to take a few 10mg vics one weekend and I hardly felt them. I sort of knew this beforehand having read about suboxone, but I guess you could say I wanted to see if it was really true .. yup it is lol. Having this mental knowledge of opiates not working when you are on the subs helped out a lot. I’m sure if I had taken about 5 or more, I would have felt it, but I felt guilty enough with just the couple .. having to remind myself the point of taking the subs to begin with. After a couple weeks, I started to see how long I could go in the mornings before feeling *drained* and got to where I just took 1mg around lunch. I sometimes woke up early, 3-4am, but this was acually sort of nice .. didn’t feel as “rushed” when going to work .. ha go figure. I did this for about another week and a half to two weeks. Near the end of the 2nd week, it was mostly mental as I really wasn’t feeling bad, not waking up early anymore, and that’s when I started to skip days .. to my surprise I was actually able to skip almost 2 days before feeling a loss of energy and I’m actually wondering if this may have been mental as well, but I did feel better after taking my 1mg dose .. but hell we all feel better after taking a dose right :) … this was going fairly well with only having to take 1mg every couple days till about 2.5 weeks ago when my birthday hit and I ended up taking about 5 10mg vics over the course of the day. I hate saying this, but that was a really awesome day…but that was also my last day. I haven’t had any since and surprisingly I feel pretty good. The mental urge to take a few and get that nice rush of energy still exists, but I’m clean for now. I may get some more subs because at $10 for a 8mg pill it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than the vics and it definitely gets rid of the mental/physical cravings .. at least for me anyway ..

I want to thank everyone for their posts and just wanted to share my experience with Suboxone for what its worth. I know I haven’t been very active, but from time-to-time I would still go to this site and read the posts. Believe it or not, they were actually somewhat comforting and that is mostly the reason I’m posting today .. to let everyone know that even though someone doesn’t actually post .. your posts are read and do help.

My last thought…if only opium had the same physical qualities as pot .. same amount gets you pretty much the same buzz with little to no withdrawls after abruptly stopping .. if only we could have added this to Gods little checklist with these two plants at the beginning of time…..one can only wonder… :)

Good luck everyone and thanks again!

250 jess { 06.01.10 at 3:04 pm }

Kratom?? I bought some online in powder form and I can’t seem to find a way to use the powder so that I don’t want to instantly throw up. Has anyone used Kratom and if so, what’s the best way to ingest it?

251 metoo { 06.01.10 at 5:21 pm }

I love kratom. I have heard that some people like to mix it with applesauce, but personally, I have first put some pudding on a spoon, put some kratom on the pudding, put more pudding on top of the kratom, and took it spoonful by spoonful like that. BUT. The easiest way is to take a bunch of capsules. No matter how you ingest it, I find that it’s worth it!! If you don’t feel anything in about 20 minutes, take another half a gram….reevaluate in another 20 minutes, and so on….Please let me know how it goes, Jess! What kind did you buy? I like Enhanced Bali from kratomherbs.com. :)

252 KickinIt { 06.03.10 at 12:47 pm }

I just found this wonderful site, and wanted to ask everyone’s advice.
I’ve been taking Norco (7.5 mg) x6/day for about 3 1/2 years for chronic pain. I also take Valium (10 mg) x3/day for the same time, to help w/muscle tightness and sleep. Both are w/a Doctor’s prescription thru a pain management program. Tho I am aware I am physiologically addicted, I don’t actually care for either one.
Starting back in January, I started reducing the Norco by 1/2 tab every 2 weeks, alternating which dose period during the day I would reduce–i.e. 1st reduction was second dose of the day, 2nd reduction was 4th dose of the day, etc.
I am now down to 2 1/2 Norco/day. I’ve also started reducing the Valium, at a slower rate, and have it down to 2 tabs/day.
From reading people’s accounts here, it sounds like the reduction method only works up to a point. Is that true?
IOW, during my slow “reduction” method, am I going to reach a point where I hit a wall and start having WD, no matter how slowly I do the reductions?
I’m a patient person, esp when it comes to something as serious as this, so if I have to slowly reduce for 6 more months, I will. I’m in a weakened state due to my illness (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), so the whole WD thing would probably steamroll me.
I do take a variety of vitamin supplements, and as mentioned I have a scrip for Valium. (I.e. the Thomas method, sort of.)
Tho I know everyone goes thru this a bit differently, I guess what I’m asking is: can I avoid the most severe WD symptoms if I keep SLOWLY reducing? Or is WD going to hit me at a certain point no matter what?
Thank you.

253 me2again { 06.07.10 at 11:54 am }

I have read most of the posts on this site. Many of which have rang true to me. I was taking vic’s for fybro, eat them in seven days and then go through detox. Well I didn’t think I was detoxing after just one week of use, thought it was a flair up of fybro with some “hot flashes’. Went to rehab and found out there was a definition for these monthly aches and paines. One year later, herniated disc with a cyst-six months of pain, refusing medication. Decided on surgery and was offered vic’s. My primary physician warned me that I have a persausive demeaner. Long story short, I went from the original 2 500′s x4 daily to 2 10′s4x’s daily and 120mg morphine. Whatever–I disappoint myself. What rings true, after going through detox and free of this menace is: “there is a light not a train at the end of the tunnel.”

I’m on day three, and ran out to get the cocktail of vitamins. Took all I could and feel great. I really hope the potassium will help with the RLS–I can hide the night sweats with frequent clothing changes and daily sheet washing. But the kicking, my husband seems to catching on to this. I don’t want to hide the detox from him, but how would this possibly benefit us. I have enough disappointment for the both of us.

I will pray, the energy is out there–I am tapped in and ready to contribute to all of you trying. Having gone through a period of remission, I guarantee you will love the results. Especially knowing you can overcome something so powerful.

I did go to NA for awhile, but found that I did not like dwelling on my limitations. I found more power in what I had perceived as an accomplishment. What I am saying, I happy that I am 2 and3/4 day clean.

Thanks for your inspiration and I will come back and update you.

254 southernmom { 06.09.10 at 10:11 am }

Your e-mail was very inspirational. I am going through the tapering, doing alot of vitamins and will detox soon.
I wanted to share the one thing that helps me sleep, like a log (no RLS) are Tylenol pms. I take 2 or 3 depending on the day I’ve had and I sleep soundly with almost no movement at all (I wake up with a bent ear lobe from sleeping on it wrong :-)
I appreciate your sharing your experience and I am hopeful to be sharing my sober story soon.
Good luck to you, I am praying for you and so are many others that come to this web-site for help and support.
God bless.

255 me2again { 06.10.10 at 5:36 am }

You and the other (metoo,schmoe, slaa, etc.) are the real inspiration here. As I had eluded to in my last post, I have a history of a long term addiction to vic’s. I went into this back thing trying to avoid the drug, the pain overtook my better judgement. The drug, for me, overtook me once again. I am now six days clean after approximately 7 months of use. Like when I quit smoking cigarettes, I knew in my heart that I could continue the addiction and become gravely ill (emphasemia, cancer…)—or quit and be more healthy. The options are obvious and I would challenge anyone to dispute this, I chose health. Well, as with alcohol, I have to choose once again. I have made the right choice. Made love with my husband last night, WOW—why would I ever consider missing what I got last night. I digress (with a big smile on my face).

Anyways, I have to say the vitamin thing is really the best ever. I did not have the anti-anxiety medication, however, I know that would have made a big difference and definately a must if you have access. I used Valerean Root which seemed like it helped. Hey, lets just admit it—as long as I’m putting something in my mouth that looks like a drug, I’m happy.

Now the good news. Kratom. I really believe this herb would have been very helpful. I tried it last night and just felt all around real good. It helped with both my pain and I slept like a baby (however, the sleep may be attributed to another variable–lol). This morning, I feel clean and refreshed. Even before my morning Diet Coke!!!! This is an herb I will go into retirement with and see it as a healthy option to the anti-inflamatories I take too often. I think metoo mentioned that he has control of his use and the Kratom doesn’t control him. Honestly, as a highly addictive personality, I see how I can control this. I was always able to control the other herb some people at times smoke. So that’s my take on the viable option. Please try it, those vic’s will be very unhealthy for you. Choose health and good sex!!!!

Southernmom, as a northernmom of four (launching the last one in fall), my heart and energy is with you. I know you mentioned that you may be tapering and on your way to this side of life this week. Detox sucks. I don’t care what kind of frosting you put on it, it sucks. I’m on day six, the first real good day. I know I’ll have bad one, but I am feeling real good right now. I so want that for you and everyone else on this site. You all have been an inspiration and I can tell you that I have joined your energies (prayer, God…) and we will be strong. Please, keep trying and dwell on your strengths and know they out weigh your few weaknesses. May God be with you and everyone else that is choosing health as the option for life.

256 metoo { 06.10.10 at 7:24 am }

Hey, me2again! Thank you for the “endorsement” of kratom. (But, alas, I am a woman…lol….{did I talk about poop?? LOL} I wanted to add a few more things about kratom, and another tool I’ve discovered…

Kratom. me2again, you said you felt just “all around real good”…Isn’t it nice???? AND, if you would have taken maybe a half a gram more, you would have felt the buzz that I am talking about. Kratom is what I believe helped me to detox virtually symptom free, and I have come out of the detox ABSOLUTELY free of vics. I have found my new drug of choice. Vicodin no longer has a hold on me. THANK GOD…

For those of you who think that it is merely substituting one addiction for another, please stop and think about it. Would you RATHER lean on vicodin for the rest of your life, OR lean on a LEGAL HERB??? A legal herb that has NO withdrawal symptoms?? Would you rather lean on something that is man made or natural?? Something that you have to do illegal things to get or something you can order off the internet?? Something that makes you feel consciously bad, or something that gives you the buzz that you don’t have to feel terrible about?? Hmm?? I made my choice, and I am happy and relieved that I did find kratom. I have gone for many days without taking it at all, and in that time I did NOT crave a vic. I have my chosen alternative, and let me tell you, it is EVERY BIT AS GOOD, and heck, for me, it’s BETTER than vics ever were.

I can’t remember how many days I’ve been clean, but it just keeps getting better. For anyone who is struggling with a vicodin addiction, please think about getting some kratom, and giving it a try. It CAN help if you want it to!!

Another BEAUTIFUL thing I have found in my search for better days is “Chasteberry”…. I have been taking two capsules of chasteberry each night, and have awaken each morning for the last 9 days WITHOUT ANXIETY. And let me tell you, I had A LOT of anxiety. The chasteberry seems to have cleared that up, and I am SO HAPPY and SO PROUD to say that I feel as though I have found my way out of the vicodin addiction. THANK YOU, LORD!!!!

I am praying that these little discoveries can help so many more than just myself..after all, isn’t that why any of us are here? To help and be helped.

257 Shmoe { 06.10.10 at 7:54 am }

I too can add my endorsement of kratom. I am now on day 3 (yet again) and this has been the best/easiest detox yet. It took me a few tries to get my dosage right and I might
have even scrapped it if metoo hadn’t kept at me about it ;) ! But thankfully, metoo did ,
and I thiink now that this stuff is a God send. I also started using chaste berry which I also think helps.

That said, I know that I am only on day 3 clean, so we’lll see how I do over the next few weeks. But so far day 3 has always been teh hardest for me, and today it’s been no
problem at all.

The one other variable that’s really helped is the incredible personal support I’ve
gotten from metoo and southernmom , who have given me so much I just can’t
thank them enough. Hard to quantify what that is worth.

God bless all of you trying to quit.

258 jess { 06.14.10 at 8:29 am }

metoo. Tried your suggestion of the chocolate pudding method.
While it was the easiest way thus far, it still made me automatically gag. I think it psychological at this point since I’ve had such a hard time taking it in the various other ways. I don’t know if its the dusty consistency of the kratom, the taste or what, but it is a hard thing for me to get down. I might try the capsules. When I do manage to get some of it down and keep it down, I do feel the lift in energy which is great.

Other than that, I’m proud to say that I’m now over 30 days without pain meds!! I’m starting to feel like my old self again. There is still the occasional bout of feeling fatigued, but like everyone on here says, its getting better day by day. For all those who are beginning their journey out of the fog of regular pain med usage, keep strong and keep going. It’s such a great feeling not having to take some pills first thing in the morning just to feel “normal”. I feel better about myself and don’t have the guilt of hiding my habit from friends and family. I always felt like such a hypocrite since I don’t really drink or smoke or do anything else for that matter. From outward appearances, I seemed to have everything together. Little did anyone know I was taking between 12-16 norco a day. And I never even really got a buzz from it, that’s just what I took to feel normal and get through the day without aches and pains from withdrawal. When I look back now, it seems insane.

I don’t post often, but check every now and then to see what people are doing and to get tips and tricks on what works for everyone. The suggestions and help that people offer is so great and it makes you feel as though you’re going through this process with a group of people instead of all alone. Because lets face it, unless you’re going through it, it’s hard to explain or for other people to understand why you just don’t have the get up and go that you used to have. I got a lot of greif from my boyfriend after the 2nd week when my energy still wasn’t there. He would get down on me for laying around and not doing stuff around the house that needed to get done. He was understanding for about the first 10 days, and then it was just “get over it”. The understanding from people going through similar situations is so essential to alleviate the guilt others who are not going through it can sometimes put on you.

Anyway, babbling now. Take care everyone.

259 Kyle { 06.14.10 at 9:39 am }

Hello all, I’m new here. 2 Weeks clean. I have the opportunity to get some tomorrow. I have no ambition still. I was taking 30 10mg a day for two years. Does ambition ever come back? I used to have dreams and goals.

260 Tom { 06.15.10 at 3:05 pm }

I have been taking vicodin 750mg for about 2 yrs. I just quit cold turkey last thursday. I’m pretty much fine now. The only thing was the first day I had bad diaherra. By Sat. that was gone. The only other thing still now about 5 days without any is my legs ache but getting better. It’s not really that hard just have to be head strong. I still get the urge but still haven’t taken any. Good luck to all

261 JB { 06.18.10 at 9:27 am }

I have been taking Vicodin for about a year now due to a back problem that is eventually going to require surgery. This more or less started in 2005 after a bad motorcycle wreck. I severely injured my left leg and had several surgeries in a 2 and 1/2 year period. During this time, I was on some kind of pain killer. Vicodin, Percocet, Darvocet etc… After all of my surgeries and recovery, my Dr cut me off cold turkey. I didn’t have a problem with withdrawls of any kind. I spent so long limping or using a cane or crutches, now my back is shot. Like I said before, I have been on Vicodin for the last year. I started taking 3 to 4 a day but has since increased to about 6 to 9 a day since my body has developed a tolerance to the drug. I’ve known for the last couple of months I was getting addicted to it and needed to stop. It looks like my Dr has cut me off now and have been without the drug for a little over 24 hours now. I and heavily withdrawing with the body aches, headache, diahrrea, RLS and sweating heavily. I’m going to try this recipe and hope that it works. The unfortunate thing is, I have to finish out the day at work today and do some kids activities tonight. My biggest fear is, if I can finally detox from this, what is going to happen when I do end up having back surgery? I will most likely fall right into the addiction again. It feels like a vicious circle.

262 Compassionate & worried { 06.18.10 at 2:09 pm }

Hi. I am new on here. I live with an incredible person that is battling vicodine addiction. He is on his second day now cold turkey, but he has been on and off of it since we started dating in January. I didn’t know about his addiction until about a month ago. He has been addicted for more than 20 years and has quit several times. He was going to go on methodone, but after researching this and another detox drug it seemed pointless to do that so he made the decision to go cold turkey. We have not had a love life due to his addiction, but I love him very much and want to see this through. He is a totally different person than the one I started dating. I am hoping for the best. He has no emotions what so ever and seems like a zombie most of the time and keeps to himself. I will keep everyone updated and could use your prayers. Thanks!

263 Chris { 06.18.10 at 7:45 pm }

I have been 4-6 5mg aday on and off for 6 months. Somethings I go 4 or 5 days with out taking any. Then back on for 1 week or 2.

Do I really have anything to worry about here, since they are for pain ??

264 Catstatue { 06.22.10 at 12:08 am }

I have begun a taper plan to get off my Vicodin (10 a day) and I’m one month into it. I’m dropping by one pill a day, so this week I’m at six pills a day. Is it normal to experience withdrawal symptoms even on a taper like this? I find that the physical symptoms disappeared after about two weeks but the emotional/mental ones are still there. I find that “bad voice” telling me to not go through with this, just to take them, that life will suck without it. And I find my mood is all over the map. It’s been hell but I promised myself that I’d make it through this time for good.

Is this just my body and mind getting used to the taper process? Will I experience this throughout the entire taper and will it last even after I’m off the meds? If so, how long and will anything help?

265 Dee { 06.23.10 at 12:21 am }

hello everyone ive been takin 10 to 15 norcos a day for about 4 to 5 years and am goin through bad withdralws as we speak i took my last 1 last night and am going through it right now . i thought id hop on to find out how to ease the WDLS. right now i just feel like running down the street cause i cant keep my knees from wanting to shake or move all the time and have that anxiety really bad as well as da body aches please everyone prey for me ! iam in bad shape right now

266 jen p { 06.25.10 at 7:27 am }

I also don’t have ambition,tired all the time,was taking them around 10yrs,14,750s a day or more and norcos.people tell me that its not gonna happen over nite,it may take months,even years to get back to normal after all those years of being on vikes….I’ve been clean 2 months now…but everyday gets better.I guess its true that the number of years of abuse,2 months is realy not that long to get back to normal.hopefully it doesn’t take years …good luck to u all…

267 metoo { 06.29.10 at 4:06 pm }

It sure is quiet here…is everyone ok?

I have a question. Does anyone besides myself experience morning anxiety?? If so, what do you do to combat it? Chasteberry helped me in the beginning, and I continue to take it at night to prevent the morning’s anxious ritual of waking up, but it seems to have ceased working. Does anyone have any advice or helpful hints?? I could REALLY use ANY ideas….

268 metoo { 06.29.10 at 6:05 pm }

*taps the microphone* is this thing on??? lol

269 key weird { 06.30.10 at 6:55 am }

take a walk. ride a bike. go for a swim. i know it can be hard but if you push yourself to get some excersize in the morning it makes the whole day easier.

270 brett { 07.05.10 at 7:56 am }

Starting as soon as I buy everything today I’m stopping trying your method. Been through withdrawls before but I’m tired of always worrying about running out. I’ll deal with pain another way. I’ll let you know how it goes at end of the week. Brett

271 Kyle { 07.08.10 at 6:05 am }

Hey metoo I’m here if you need / want to talk. I hope all is well with you. I will try to be on often though I keep relapsing.

272 key weird { 07.09.10 at 1:10 am }

Kratom has done a great job at preventing any wd i’ve had in getting thru day 4. Been using for years but I was taking around ten roxy 30′s a day, sometimes more, for the past 6 months. I ordered the Kratom and it arrived on day 2 of quitting cold turkey. In past attempts to quit i’ve had terrible chills, diarrhea and impossible to sleep. I’ve had some valium for the sleep this time but thats hardly been an issue at all, I’ve been sleeping ok. But no other symptoms what so ever. Obviously there is the mental thing, which is very tough, but I have had enough energy to get through these days and none of the other issues that I’ve had in the past. I don’t get any sort of high that other people talk about, and thats not why I got it in the first place, but it does do an amazing job at preventing any wd. I hope that helps somebody but I’d like to ask if anybody knows if wd will still be a problem if the only thing i’m on is Kratom for a week or two or three? Will I be able to one day stop the Kratom and feel no wd from anything? Hope so, because this is kind of too good to be true. Hope everyone is doing well.

273 Emilie { 07.11.10 at 1:12 pm }

MY name is Emilie , I have been on vicodin for 9 yrs. in the past year I got to the point of taking antwhere from 160 to 180 milligrams every 4 hrs, dont ask me how im stll alive,God only knows, well I was doing anything I could to get them, doctors and buying them,everybody sells them, I have been clean since june 2 2010 and I feel so much better , I went through the throwing up, runs severe stomach cramps legs and arms shaking, I even had a seizure,but I got through it,Thank God, it was real bad for me for 2 weeks but As many as I was on,If I can get off them anyone can,I wish you all the best,and by the way,I didnt use anything,I got off cold turkey,no meds.

274 Kris { 07.13.10 at 6:24 am }

I am on a migraine preventative but have break through headaches from time to time. In my ultimate wisdom I used to try to get off the preventative only to end up back in hell!! I would take Fioricet (SP?) with codine to get rid of the headaches and it helped. Late 2009 I was on a preventative still and for some reason the headaches were crazy bad and I wish I could explain them but they are either the normal lights out/no noise migrain or and all day everyday pain that is running up the right side of my head squeezing and escalating all day everyday. At that time the doctor prescribed vicodin…it helped because the other meds didnt touch it. well thus began the cycle. I am a 40 year old mother of 3 who works full time. I dont smoke or drink often at all! Thankfully I was never one to judge other with problems like this because I would feel like a jackass now wouldnt I! I tried last wed to just stop and take nothing, can anyone here say “dumbass”??? I finally had to cave and fill the script that was at the pharmacy on Thur late morning. It had been a good 48 hours and I was a HOT mess. Wed night cramps and runs and sick and cant sleep and tired and I was determind to just stop I feel like a total idiot. I am so picky about the food and drink I put in my body yet here I am shoving these liver destroying pills down. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who told me to just relax and back off slowly well since Thur I have pounded the vicodin I guess just trying to get rid of the pains. I had a refill for the fioricet request to my doctor on Friday. Monday his nurse called (thank God for her) she mentioned that since 2009 I have really been taking a lot etc. I explained my goal was to get off all meds. She was worried the meds were making my headaches worse. Makes perfect sense to me. I got advice from her to back off and take excedrine migraine first vs the narcotics. make sure I am hydrated. She asked how many a day I take…I didnt know. She said keep a log. I started that today along with the food and drinks to make sure I am hydrated etc. I have advised my family along with my 18 and 21 year olds what is going on …they knew I took headache meds but now they know I dont want to continue and feel like it is out of control. I hope they see that I will never judge them! Good luck to everyone and Iwill keep an eye out on here for helpful tips to get me through this. The depression section will be hard I am sure but I hope that backing off slowly and with purpose I will not shock my body and it might not be so bad (wishful thinking??? hope not) . I have traded my Slipknow CD for relaxation CD’s, I am getting made fun of but when you are looking for peace you look where it is. I have researched the healing power of stones…again, desperate people : )… Please everyone know you have value and good luck!!!

275 Kris { 07.13.10 at 6:29 am }

sorry to be a comment hog…I have also recently found yoga and plan to work up to as many classes a week as I can afford time and money wise. it is an incredible relaxation. I have began a new journey and getting off the meds is really part of it….right now it is going to have to be the biggest part…again, good luck to everyone!!! you are never alone there is always someone out there going through the same thing.

276 jen p { 07.13.10 at 1:44 pm }

I was clean almost 3 months and was cleaning up around the house,and sure enough I came across a bottle of 26vicodin750s that I stashed last may,and my back was killin me from heavy lifting and painting,yard sale ect…so I said to myself,”why not”?what caan a pill do to make a difference rite now….I took 1 then anothr then anothr that nite….I didn’t feel any different.my back felt a little better,but didn’t really get high off it like b4…well,probly bcause I used to take 3 at a time b4.so the next day I worked,felt no urge all day to take 1,and rewarded myself when I got home to 2 vikes and a beer…felt pretty good…but a little guity…I was so proud of myself for being clean for that 3 months….so today,I am on the oat enjoying a few beers,and I jst took 2 more…I feel as if I got this under control…already know that I can overcome the withdrawel,and I think I’m fine,and once these pills are gone,I won’t seek out to find more.but if they are around,I know I can takke them in moderation,like an asprin for a headache”and not b dependent when I get out of bed first thing in the morning.I am strong now more than ever!and I know I’m not an addict because I control the pills now,they don’t control me.

277 katicat { 07.19.10 at 2:27 pm }

It sux no matter which way you turn it! I’m on day 5 and today was my first day back to work. I’m just realizing how annoying everyone I work with is and how bored I am at my job! No more chemically induced bursts of energy that makes the world seem a better place. I guess the positive thing to remember is that there was a life before opiates which seemed a whole lot better than life on them! I recently uncovered some pics of myself where I wasn’t taking opiates (at least not as many and not on a regular basis) and I find it shocking how awful I look now in comparison. Good motivator!
The #1 best help for me was exercise and staying active to take the mind off it all. Good Luck to All (incl myself)!

278 dr_g { 07.21.10 at 7:08 am }

I have read a lot about people going “cold Turkey,” yet, I am trying to wean down. For the past decade or so, I have been going throught bottle of 180 Tramadol each week (I am afraid to do the math). I can’t believe my liver is still functioning. I have tried to get off before, and even succeded once, but like the person above, I found some pills I forgot about in a drawer. Like an idiot, I thought, “Oh, I can control it this time.” Well, here I still am 5 years later… The cycle started all over again.

I decided 1-week ago, when I still had half a bottle left, to wean off .

The worst part is at night, with the sweating & tossing & turning. I have been using Solus to sleep (which is a combo of L-Tryptophan [the stuff in turkey] 5-HTP, Valerian, Hops Melatonin & a few other sleep aids), and it works for about 3-4 hours, then I take another dose in the middle of the night. After reading everyone’s posts, I am getting Valium to help with the anxiety.

My question is this, has anyone ever tried to titrate down? I am now down to about 8 pills a day (2 in the morning, 2 in afternoon, and 4 at night), but I want this to be even lower. Even with this dosing I am still getting anxiety, night sweets, RLS, anxiety, etc., so I cant even imagine what you are going through if your doing this cold turkey! I cant even sleep in the bed with my boyfriend because I toss and turn all night, and want him to get his sleep. Any suggestions?
Thanks every one =)

279 dr_g { 07.23.10 at 7:26 am }

I am now on day 10 of titrating down the meds. It is 3 AM, and I can’t sleep. I am sweating, tossing & turning. I thought I would check in to see if anyone posted. No one yet =(

I am now down to only TWO at night before bed, and I am proud of myself. However, if I am still having these symptoms I may as well go cold turkey. I keep busy during the day, lots of energy during the day (I am taking Wellbutrin, and it helps with energy & mood). I live on the beach, so I take walks regularly, and keep moving. But when night comes, it is unbearable. How long will the night sweats and sleeplessness last?? I just want my 8 hours sleep! Tonight is the worst yet… and its day 10!! Any suggestions for sleep? I cant get any benzo’s, and I have been taking 10 Vallerian Root tabs a night.
I hope someone is out there, I could really use the support right now. I just want to down 10 pills and make this go away!

280 nik_E_D { 07.26.10 at 10:46 am }

Im 24 hrs into tryin to go cold turkey!!! I have chills, slight stomach irration and hot and cold sweats. I woke up this morning and said enough.. I have enough pain pills to last me for the next 3 days, taking about 9 7.5 aday. Im done. I feel like hell already. I have begun to take the recipe, I hope its really not as bad as it sounds. My life starts today!!!!!

281 BEANS!!!!! { 08.02.10 at 1:23 pm }

On Friday August 30th, I found out my supply was gone. Oh yeah, i was taking 10-15 Lorcets per day. I had 1 day to mentally prepare for detox, so I threw out the remaining 2 pills and started as soon as I found out that I would’nt be able to get more. It is now Monday, and I already feel alot better. The first couple days were pretty bad and I had all the symptoms from RLS to insomnia. I literally took 6 shots of Jack on the first night just to pass out, and I don’t even drink. The second night was the worst, no sleep, legs hurt so bad, felt stressed etc… Sunday I was still as drained as you can imagine, but was already feeling like the worst had passed. Sunday night, I didn’t want to go through another sleepless night so I went to Walgreens and got some generic sleeping pills. Recommended dose is 1 pill, I ended up having to take 3 before I could sleep but I got 8 hours. Its Monday now and the only effect now is feeling extremely drained and tired. ITS REALLY NOT SO BAD! These pages have helped me alot with getting the strength to get off these horribly addictive pills, and hopefully with this post it will give one more person the confidence to take the dive. Just remember, If you have a 2 year old daughter like I do, that kid needs you alot more than you need a stupid pill! Go through with it. It’s like having the flu at worst, the only difference is theres no fever and no vomiting. GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE HERE, YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THE FIRST STEP!

282 Snoman { 08.03.10 at 3:25 pm }

It’s the end of day 4 for me and last night was th e worst I’ve had in a long time. No sleep and RLS like crazy. I’ve been on about 3- 7.5mg a day for two years. I ve missed two years of my life and I’m sick of living a lie. I had the runs but used imodium so not a biggie. Depression was bad the first two days but seems to have left for the most part, thank god. I took double dose of nyquil and never did fall asleep last night so tonight I’m going to try Tylenol pm. I took a run last night for the first time in two year and I felt AWESOME…. Even though I didn’t run far… Thanks to my old buddy back pain but it still was a god send to get out and move around. I’m done with pills forever, I’m not ever going back to that haze. This may sound stupid but everything seems more vivid now. The sky, the sounds, the tastes. I can wait to see what tomorrow brings. I hope the worst is over for me but if not, I’ve gone to far now to turn back. I refuse to go out that way. Good luck folks….

283 Jaymee { 08.03.10 at 7:53 pm }

I noticed that no one has posted in a few days, but if anyone is out there who can take the time to talk, I would appreciate it. I’m a mess and know that its just going to get worse. I also know that I am not the first person to go through this…so why do I feel so alone? Terrified to tell my husband. He knows that I’ve been on pain meds for years, but has no idea that I’m not only phyiscally dependent, but also psychologically addicted. Hell, I didn’t even know that I was addicted until about 3 days ago. I have been given a wide range of prescription narcotics for the last 4 years for a severe case of fibromyalgia. Lowest being vic 5/500, highest being percocet 10s. My tolerance grew so that as of yesterday, I have been taking an average of 20 pills a day. My last dose was at 1pm this afternoon, thinking that my doc was going to refill my script sometime today. Instead I was told that I would get nothing more. In the past while waiting on a script to fill, I would “find” a reason to need the ER. Can’t do that now. Financial responsibilites prevent the this-no $$ for the astronomical copay. Doc did give me the clonidine patch and I have ambien for sleep. The problem is that sleep is few and far between for fibromyalgia patients and I have been taking it regularly for 2 yrs and fear that I have a tolerance for it now, too. My husband is in bed and I feel terribly alone. Is there anyone out there willing to dialogue? please?

284 Jaymee { 08.03.10 at 8:28 pm }

Just smoked a cigarette. My husband doesn’t smoke so when I want one I have to go the garage. Thinking about putting a chair down there b/c even standing for those 10 minutes was agony on my legs. No idea how I’m going to get through work the next few days. Calling in sick is not an option. I work retail and work tomorrow 5-10pm and then Thursday I do a split shift b/c of inventory. 9am-4 then 8pm-5am. Good God, I’m terrified just thinking about it. I can see that my comments are still awaiting moderation. Am praying that the moderators log on soon so that I can talk w/ someone. Almost like I need someone to acknowledge what I’m going through since I don’t have the guts to tell my husband or parents. I wish I could, but I don’t have enough faith in myself. I know that they are all wonderful beings, every one of them….and they think that I am, too. I don’t want their perception of me to change. I’ve already been labeled as a “drug seeker” by the medical field and can’t handle another stigma. Going to sign off for awhile and try to keep myself busy. Box set of “True Blood” and knitting. Just took my ambien, hoping it will kick in and allow me a few hours of blissful unconsciousness. Isn’t it ironic that the one thing that would let us escape this the one thing that eludes us? Thank you for this site, for the opportunity to put my feelings into words, the possibility to talk to someone who knows what this is like, hopefully doesn’t judge, and hopefully will be willing to talk when the spiders crawl and the hip/leg pain sets in. That’s what’s been worst for me in the past: agonizing pain in the lower back, hips, and legs. Another irony: back, hip, & leg pain are my main fibromyalgia trigger points and therefore what I began taking the meds for in the first place. Today’s official word of the day is “Irony”. Wonder what tomorrow’s will be.

285 Snoman { 08.04.10 at 4:34 pm }

It the end of day five and I probably feel worse then yesterday . Very very tired, I havent slept more then a few hours in the past two days. Nyquil, Tylenol pm, both failed to even make a dent and the RLS is still killing me. No runs today so I’m taking that as a good sign. I’m hitting the vitamins like crazy and I think it’s helping but the nights are killing me, I actually look forward to going to work, not cause I enjoy it but It gets my mind off the lack of sleep. Anyone know how long before the RLS goes away? I got to believe I’m at the tail end. The craving is always there but it gets easier as time goes by I think. Not as depressed as warier either so that’s going in my favor. It helps to read these post. I thank you ALL.

286 Unchained { 08.05.10 at 5:24 pm }

in the middle of tapering process trying to come off doing 4-5 oxy 30′s per day for the last 2 years. about six months ago i tried going cold turkey and made it to day 3 before relapsing. these are the evil, evil fuckers and i will not let them control my life ANYMORE! i am down to 2 today and it sucks but i have to keep going and get past this. Thanks for this site, its awesome to know i’m not the only one. good luck everyone

287 Fingers&Thumbs { 08.05.10 at 11:26 pm }

Jaymee, my wife is going through that too. You sound much more convinced than she was. She went back and forth on “Why should I have to live without these?” and I just kept telling myself that it was the meds talking, not her. She had the runs, phantom pain, and just crazy anger/depression. BUT like I said, she wasn’t as committed as you sound you are.

She got through it and is happier and more focused now. You can too! Besides, a True Blood marathon sounds great! I also recommend BBC’s Being Human for a quality vampire program. :)

288 Unchained2 { 08.06.10 at 1:03 pm }

I’m (or should I say we) are on day 9 of our Dr aided taper down schedule. My husband and I were doing 3-30 milgrm roxy’s/day fro 2 years. We tried to detox cold turkey 4 or 5 times but never got past day 3. I wish we werre aware of the Thomas Recipe, we may have had a better shot of being successful at it. After the last time we tried to detox we realized the severity of our problem. We have 3 kids and a full time jobs, plus I’m in school so we can’t just try detoxing whenever we want. I finally built up the guts to go to a Dr and tell him about our problem, I figured ‘what the hell, what could it hurt?’ He currently has us tapering off them, which is almost as hard as just going cold turkey. Having them here in the house and knowing we can’t do as much as we want when we want is very hard and is taking a huge amount of will power that I didn’t even know we had. We have our daily dosage rashined out per Dr’s orders. He drops our miligram dosage every few days, so just when our body has adjusted to getting the new amount, he drops us again, not alowing us to feel ‘comfortable.’ He’s going to taper us down as low as possible before he stops it all together, thus making the detox not as severe. That being said, instead of going thru hardcore detox over the course of a week, we are going thru mild-moderate detox symtoms daily. I dont’ know if its any better but it makes it so we can actually function and live our lives. Anyways, I want to try the thomas recipe for our tapering, obviously we won’t need such high dosages of the vitamens, has anyone had any experiance with doing this? Thanks!

289 James { 08.07.10 at 8:04 am }

Great website, detailed and compassionate. Been there. For those of you who believe, your faith will carry you through the darkestest moments.

290 Snoman { 08.07.10 at 12:22 pm }

End of day 7 and I got about6 hours of needed sleep last night, RLS is pretty much gone and not as depressed, I almost broke done and gave into that nagging craving. But thanks to these posts, I realized, why would I want to go back to starting this crap over? I hope the craving goes away, I can’t believe what a hold it has on you. I hope my story helps just one person like your stories have helped me.

291 Jaymee { 08.07.10 at 6:23 pm }

Fingers & Thumbs-thank you! I can’t tell you how nice it was to get a “you can do it’ :) I truly hope that your wife is well, and really appreciate the kind words.
I’ve been taking the potassium and valerian root, the only ones I could afford. After reading everything those two sounded like if I can only pick two, those were the ones that could help the most. Still have on the clonidine patch. I’ve been very weepy-crying at the drop of a hat. Doc gave me some tramadol & that helped. But only gave me 2 days worth. So now I’m scared that the symptoms will come back with a vengeance tomorrow. My husband goes out of town again on Monday. I get mopey whenever he leaves for a trip, but expect this time to be worse since I’m so emotional.
Snoman-proud of you. Reading your words of courage are giving me courage. Thank you.

292 Dan { 08.08.10 at 3:26 pm }

I did not read this site until day 5 !! Years of use, increasing from 2x per day, 5mg Norco, to 4x per day. I recently upped it to 8x per day to get rid of them. Now I am at day 7 and doing O.K. I have not had RLS or sleeping problems, just the opposite! I felt so fatigued for first few days. No muscle aches to speak of. I did try to hike every day for 30 to 60 min. up and down hill. Luckily I am retired, otherwise…I have been down this road before but like the morphine too much to stop completely. I have even though about maxing at 10mg per day and then 24 hrs without to allow usage without tolerance…oh well !!

293 Snoman { 08.09.10 at 3:29 pm }

Jaymee… Hang in there, the emotional roller-coaster slows down every day… At least it is for me. I too was a mess, and my wife is also gone right now so I know how it is to go it alone… But you really aren’t alone, we are here for you. End of day 9 and I feel awesome. I don’t remember ever feeling this much energy before, but it been two years since I started down the dark road. So I guess the little bastard( white pill) tricked me for awhile. It does get easier folks, maybe not as quick for some , but hang in there, it is worth it. I’m loving life again, something I thought was not possible sober. Is there temptation? HELL yeah, but why go back????? Move forward, and don’t beat yourself up if you fall, just start moving …. I know I wasn’t as deep as some on here but I am thankful for this outlet… If your battling withdrawals… Write something, it’s very liberating and it helps to know your not alone…. We know how you feel….

294 Char { 08.10.10 at 7:56 pm }

I have been opiate clean now for almost three months. I still have moments where I feel like I need it to get through the day or I can get away with taking it once. This happens a couple of times a week and I have found taking kava helps immensely with that. Congrats to everyone doing so well.

295 Char { 08.10.10 at 7:57 pm }

I meant to say almost four months.

296 Jaymee { 08.11.10 at 11:53 am }

If any of you are pray-ers, please paray for me tonight. It’s my first night back at work, only a 5 hr shift, but I’ll be on my feet the entire time training a new employee. I’m terrified that the leg/hip/back pain is going to get worse from this. Hope all of you are doing well. WE CAN DO THIS!

297 jen p { 08.12.10 at 10:54 am }

Char,glad to hear uve been clean the same amount of time as me,and I feel tired a lot,I gained 10lbs,because my appetite is actually back.recently though,I got my refill from dr.and gave them to a person at work,but I kept half the bottle and I took aroumd 3 a day of norco….it felt good,but I felt guilty…the difference from before,was that if I was running out,then I would make sure I had a constant supply.but now they ran out and I don’t find myself wanting to go find more….but now I know I don’t have to rely on them….I jst don’t wanto go through that withdrawel aggain…I think its ok to do recreationally tome time if u can handle it…it did feel good on those bad days at work.lol…not encourging it at all…jst have to admit that I relapsed,but at the same toime,it showed me that I can control the addiction now,and don’t have to get out of bed first thing and cluck out for the pill…good luck to you all,and stay off of them….btw,it really didn’t feel that great when I took the first pill,I actually noticed I feel way better without them….thereas such a difference now…

298 Snoman { 08.15.10 at 2:28 pm }

Jaymee… How are you doing? Hang in there, it’s worth it!!!…. Day 15 for me and I’ve had a list of small things, a slight cold and flu symptoms hit me a few days ago but lasted for about 24 hours. STILL not sleeping right, fall asleep fast but wake up around 2am and cant get back to sleep. RLS is back also, but I’m gonna try bananas and see if that works. Emotions are back under control at least, and I don’t feel depressed anymore, in fact, I feel more alive then ever, I’m controlling my pain with a non narcotic naproxen. Seems to work awesome for me. Better then the vics and non addictive. Good luck folks, and please don’t fool yourselves into thinking you can control the pills ” this time” if you play with snakes, sooner or later your gonna get bitten. Good luck, and remember we know what your going through….

299 Jaymee { 08.16.10 at 5:55 am }

Snoman: I’m hanging in there, thanks for checking on me. I’m on day 13 of no vics, day 10 of no tramadol, and just woke up from my second night of no ambien. The first night of w/o ambien i slept for about 6 and 1/2 hrs un-interrupted. I think that it was due to the fact that I worked a crazy busy 7 hr shift at work. Wanted to whack a few customers in the face w/ a board full of nails. Why do people think that we hide what they want “in the back”??? Yes, we keep a huge box full of the exact movie you want in our office and when you ask for it we lie and tell you that we’re out. Gah. Sorry about that tangent. It seems that while going through this excellent customer service is just not my forte. Anyway, last night was rough. I worked day instead of evening yesterday and though I was exhausted come bedtime, sleep was still eluding me. Finally fell asleep around 4am but continued to wake up every 30-40 minutes until I decided to stay up around 8:30am. I’m still on the valerian, potassium, and the clonidine patch. Last day for the patch is tomorrow. Snoman, I really hope that we get some good restful sleep tonight. The bananas should help the RLS. I know what you mean about feeling alive. I picked up my guitar 2 days ago for the first time in months. A friend’s band has decided to record an album and they want a female vocalist for one of the songs & they asked me to sing. All of the possibilities that I let slip by for so long are now giving me joy and excitement. Take care everyone. It really does get a little better each day. Keep yourself busy and remember that we’re all here on this site going or have gone through the same things. None of us is alone. If you’re just reading and haven’t posted, give it a try. It really does help to have an outlet.

300 camcrush { 08.24.10 at 2:18 am }

hey i have been tryin to round up all the meds and vitamins to start the detox i also have klonopin and clonidine. my question for you is i want to know how much i should take, how often and also for how long?

To everyone else,
Has anyone tried taking klonopin, clonidine, suboxone and all the other meds and vitamins for the recipe? main concern is the suboxone seeing that no one on here really has tried it in the mix with everything else? any help is really needed i am ready to start detox right now so info soon would be great! thanks everyone this blog has brought a great spirit to my eyes and i want nothingmore then to have my life back. I think a lot of people on here are recovering off vicodin i am currently doing oxycontin. weened myself down to about 40mg a day now (from 200mg!) and i am 100% commited to putting this in the past right here right now. thanks for the help!

301 Jaymee { 08.31.10 at 8:57 pm }

Hey, camcrush: I am truly sorry that it took this long for me to read your post and respond. Work has been keeping me at the store crazy hours. To answer your questions, This is exactly what I did and the meds/vitamin supplements I took (slightly altered from the Thomas Recipe due to financial restraints). Please realize that I am not in any way a medical professional. This is just how I got through the worst of it with my doc’s help.

Clonidine Patch .01 mg per day dosage-I started this 2 days before I stopped the vics. I knew that I had about 2 days worth of vics left, and I had read somewhere that even thought its a 7 day patch it can take up to 24 hrs before the full effects kick in. The upside of the patch is that its transdermal-it releases the med through your skin at a constant dosing throughout the day. Plus you don’t have to worry about another pill to take since you change it every 7 days. I used the clonidine patch for the first 3 weeks. My doc had prescribed 4, but said that my heart rate had begun to decrease I could give up the patch after week 2 or 3. That’s another thing: when using the clonidine its a good idea to keep track of your heart rate. lay down in a resting position and find your heartbeat in either your neck or wrist and count the number of times your heart beats in one minute. I did this twice a day, about mid-day and right before I tried to sleep. I kept a small notepad on my nightstand. After the second or third week of being on the clonidine and narcotic-free you should see your heart rate number will be getting lower. When you feel ready just take off the patch.

302 Jaymee { 08.31.10 at 9:08 pm }

Ativan .5 mgs- I was prescribed 30 pills. I took one tablet every six hrs for the first 4 days. Then I tapered down per the doc’s orders b/c you shouldn’t just stop a med like ativan, valium, or klonopin. I tapered starting the 5th day by taking 1 in morning, a half in afternoon, and 1 at dinner. Toast was all I was able to handle at that point still, but you really do need sustenance. 6th day I did a half in the morning, a half in afternoon, and a full one at dinnertime. Essentially I just tapered until the script was gone.

Ambien 10 mg- Everyone is different, but I found that it takes at least an hour for this to kick in for me. It definitely helped to get some sleep. It’s a choice for you, though. Some choose not to use prescription sleep aids b/c they can be habit forming. I would take this between 10-11pm.

Potassium 595 mg- I would take one pill at 9pm

Valerian 450mg-I would take 4 capsules at 9pm along with the potassium. If I was still awake at midnight, which I usually was since sleep is so rare during detox, I would take another 4 capsules. Keep in mind that this was also along with the ambien. My doc said that it was fine to mix these together.

303 Jaymee { 08.31.10 at 9:15 pm }

B6 100 mg- I would take this in the morning while I was drinking my coffee. All the vitamins say on the label to take them preferably with a meal. Not really an option for us during detox what with the lack of appetite and the intestinal issues.

Use the Immodium as needed. Soak in hot baths and take hot showers to work the knots our of your neck and back. Keep your mind and your hands occupied. I would stretch out on the bed in a slight sitting position and I would knit/crochet/weave on my tiny loom while my husband would read classic books aloud to me. my mind and my hands were occupied. REALLY helped with the fidgeting.

304 Jaymee { 08.31.10 at 9:20 pm }

camcrush, not sure of your gender :) but some other small projects can be to dust and alphabetize your dvd collection. Same with books-dust them then organize them by author, subject, color, whatever :) just keep yourself occupied.
YOU CAN DO THIS! It will hurt, it will suck, it will be miserable. but…..its SO WORTH IT. Please let us know how you’re doing. If you have any other questions, just post them :) Remember, we all inspire each other. Proud of you already!

305 Scott { 09.02.10 at 10:37 am }

Awesome info, awesome site. I’m a commercial fisherman who started using hydrocodone years ago to alleve a sore back, sore joints-just sore body in general. What a wonderful thing vicodin was! not only did it help alleviate the pain, but it made me happy and, I must say, motivated me! Well, untold thousands of dollars later, I wish I had never discovered hydrocodone. I’ve tried to quit in the past, and it has been the worse experience of my life. But this time I must quit for the sake of emplyment, and as you can guess, I’m not liking it. Day 2 for me. One might say that I’m used to the WD symptoms, having experienced them numerous times over the years. But that would be a lie. Not to sound callous, but the biggest comfort I have at the moment is knowing that I’m not unique in my situation, the “misery loves company” type of thing. Thanks for the website, thanks to all of you for your insight, and i hope this recipe works!

306 Tigger { 09.05.10 at 9:51 am }

This is a great site..thanks for all the honest stories. You actually inpired me to look at my own issues and I am using this long weekend to detox. I was up to 4 or 6 750/mg Vicodines a day. All prescribed for back pain but I found my self taking it more when I had to interact with my soon to be ex-wife or when work got stressfull than when my back pain. It started with just one or two occasionally if my back went out. That was about 5 years ago. I think I have been taking them daily or clost to it for 3 years. The year has gotten worse and it was over the last 3 months my skin seemed to be really irritated like I was always mindly sunburn and I got these weird sweats in the middle of the day. (normal?) That and the overally pain and depression are what got me looking. I thought I was just having anxiety attacks from the divorce and work….but I am thinking it was the vicodine. Oh and the tremmors were a big clue….they sucked and it felt like I was loosing my dexterity. No problem typing but very difficult texting on my phone. that makes sense?
Sleeping was never a problem becuae I am a pretty frequent user of ambien or lunesta. I need to tackle those issues later. I work wierd hours starting at 4am…so up at 3:15.
Anyway…I am on the Thomas dedox recip and 24 hrs without vicodine. I have some left but am trying not to take any.
I am fuzzy from the xanex. Very achy and I really don’t want to socialize and leave the house.
Totally embarassed about the whole thing…. haven’t told anyone.
Kids are at the ex…so I think this is a good weekend to do it.

307 Tigger { 09.06.10 at 6:43 pm }

Can’t find the Chesteberry. Went to whole foods and the found a Cheste something and it was and anti afrodesiac. Monks used to take it…. I’ll pass on that. It was probably the wrong thing.
Anyone find it somewhere or have more insight? Per an earlier comment, you take it at night and wake up with less anxiety. I trade stocks….so i could use that.

308 Tigger { 09.08.10 at 4:51 am }

Scott….seriously do the coctail!!!!!!! I felt better on that than I ever did on vics. I waw using 2 in the morn to get through work, 2 in the afternoon to get through my young kids. Then a bottle of wine to pass out.
now I am day 4 no vics….but loving martinis to end the day
one day at a time.

309 Tigger { 09.08.10 at 4:53 am }

I thin excercise is key also…. I swam a mile yesterday wich is kinda far and I think I did tooo much.
So sart slow…but you wont be mad you did it. Walk to the grocery stor or dry cleaners….anything. Liquor store to buy more vodca….anything

310 Tigger { 09.08.10 at 4:57 am }

Thanks for the sleep advice. That could be my biggest problem.

311 Kitty Mom { 09.10.10 at 7:56 am }

Hi everyone
Today I have started detox and am hoping some of you out there will be there to support me…I am a 61 year old lady with a husband that knows the situation, but does not fully understand that I can’t just shake it off – am going to try Thomas Recipe if I can get motivated to leave the house but it is hard. TELL YOU MORE LATER…love and good luck to all you in the same sinking boat

312 Kitty Mom { 09.10.10 at 8:12 am }

Wellk I am going to take a shower now and venture out of the house to go get ther ingrediants I need and go to the doctor for a mamo and bone scan – Hopefully I can do it . I felt pretty bad on the 9-12 vics I was taking a day so I am trading one not so good feeling for a worse one. I hate those little bastard pills!

313 elli { 09.13.10 at 10:09 am }

hi guys i been on percs 10s for over a year i been taking 10 t0 15 the last month i starded to relize that this whole pill game is getting me addicted badddd i read alot off post and its time forme to change my life i will start with this post tomorow will be my first dayy i cant do this anymore so i hope u guys will help go throught it thank u

314 Tigger { 09.13.10 at 2:01 pm }

Well… I has been a week for me on the cocktail. I am alive but don’t feel great. I actually don’t feel the urge to take the vico though. stomach is still a mess but I am so happy the rashy/sensive skin is gone.
working out feels soo much better.. .even if you just go for a walk…do it!

315 Kitty Mom { 09.14.10 at 6:05 am }

Hi you all Elli and Tigger. I started detoxing on Friday, but on Friday and Saturday after suffering emensly, took some pills I had left. They are all gone now. Sunday and Monday were rough and This being my third day I am feeling a little better actually have been up and doing some stuff at the house – my only concern is I feel no joy at all – like the pills were giving me the joy in my life and not taking them took this away. I hope with time I will start feeling goofd again because those things were going to kill me.
Elli – deo it you have to get off those little bastard pills

316 Kitty Mom { 09.14.10 at 6:26 am }

I meant feeling good again haha – not goofy! I would not wish coming off these pills on my worst ememy. I took off sick from work but can’t do that forever – got to get back some time. But, I am proud that this is day 3 and believe me at least I am not wishing myself dead any more. With the Thomas recipe, get some night and day stress vitamins – they seem to work better than Xanax which I took the vitamins instead of the xanax last night and slept about 5 hours. By the way I was taking about 9-12 10/325 per day for years – started taking because of pain but after a while taking them just son I would not feel sick – so that is my story -can’t believe this could happen to me at my age – but I guess those pills could get anyone hooked. The population that needs them for pain I guess they are a good thing – but Lord they are bad…bad assed….bad. Hang in there everyone – Please let me know how you are doing.

317 elli { 09.14.10 at 10:28 am }

hey guys day one no piils i woke up about 2 hours ago the felling is not that mad just a little depression everything seemdown welli hope i go tru this day and not take anymore pills well i keep u guys post in a little have togo to work stay strong everyone we can do thissssssssss.

318 melinda { 09.14.10 at 1:35 pm }

i can not belive i got my self to tis place,i was this loving mom grandmoter and wife,i have lied to so many peope,hurt so many and becane so mean,wy i let these pills(vic) take over my life,i took my last one sat and its been 3 days,the only discomft i has is stomack paid and no appitte ,i want to be left alone and deal with this,i have 1 pill left and i pick it up and say are you worth it.then put it done,i watch my husband go through his withdrawles and it just scared the crap out of me,i only do vic,he dose oxcys vic anything to stop his pain,i would flip on him because i never understood,but i do now i am having it mild,,the stomack and no appitte and the very little sleep,is about it,i have vailums and i thake the for the stress of my angity,i have been on them for 7 years,took 3 some days and more on other daymaybe when i feel better i can help him and not i have to move on for i cant live this way anymore,

319 Kitty Mom { 09.15.10 at 1:16 am }

Hey everyone – day three was very good for me – did chores around the house and went out to the store with my husband last night (a LITTLE ruff) but last night was a nightmare felt like i was starting over again and now this morning I feel like poop . I hope this nightmare ends soon – but under no circumstances will i take another pill….take care you all and hand in there. It will get better

320 elli { 09.15.10 at 10:49 am }

hey guys day 2 woke uppp felt not that bad poped a hallf off zanax felt much better nothing hurts thank good soo i am doing good i just cant waite till day 5 i dont wana take no sleeping pills nothing and let me tell u something guys i have about 3 perks left in my draw i dinteven dare touch it so thats a good thing i think by haveing pills in the house because they are ther and when u quite thhey are still going to be ther so i hope all u guys luck and stay strong dont take anything i am praying for everyone and i know we can do it and start a life off joy so just keep me posed KITTY MOM u are doing good keep taken walks and just keep your self bussy and everythingis gona be goood good luck guys i ill beback here tomorow to check oneverybody MAY GOD BE WITH US AND HEAR OUR PRAYERS AMENNNN

321 Kitty Mom { 09.15.10 at 11:11 am }

Gog bless you Elli – yeah I am proud of making it to day four and looking forward to tomorrow day 5 – hope I sleep tonight I am soooo stressed about not sleeping last night and soooo tired. Throw those pills away I found one in a drawer and handed to my husband to discard – I want no parts of those stupid pills, but guess what, I think my body is still craving them. Feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. Bless all of you who are trying to kick this terrible habit…Love you all

322 southern mom { 09.15.10 at 2:52 pm }

Hello again,
It has been AWHILE!! I wasn’t ready to quit and kept letting people down that were so supportive, and I was just plain in denial. However, God took matters into His own hands and hit me with a flu bug. I couldn’t even keep down ice chips, so I couldn’t eat any vics and I couldn’t drink (major alcohol issues too). So I have a raging fever, chills, the works from the flu, I’m dehydrated, and I’m going through both vic and alcohol withdraws without being able to do anything more than live in my bath tub (I mean all day) I can’t eat, sleep, function. I pretty much stay in the bathtub and my family is having to fend for themselves (and they are really doing GREAT!) The guilt is killing me because I did this to myself. I do know on thing.. once I get past this (pray for sooner) I am not putting myself in this situation with anything in my life again. At my worst I prayed for God to just end it, now I pray for little things, cramps to stop, head to stop splitting, being able to eat a bite of a popsycle, and doing ANYTHING with my family, even watching a movie, while I’m in the tub. I’ve lost 18 pounds, probably mostly water, but my body is a mess, aches, cramps, weakness… and I used to hit the gym daily.
So all of you out there that pray, if you could spare another prayer for me, much appreciated.
I wish everyone who is trying, good luck and everyone that has MADE IT!! AWESOME!!
God Bless

323 elli { 09.15.10 at 9:30 pm }

its beem my day 3 and i havent touched anything but do take about 1 to 2 xanax to sleep should i stop before i get addict to xanaz cause that the only thing that makes me go to sleep

324 southern mom { 09.16.10 at 1:55 am }

Hi elli,
Xanex is addictive also, but I know it has really helped others on this board get through the opiate withdraws. You need to sleep! Maybe take them IF you need them and when you don’t, dont.

325 Kitty Mom { 09.16.10 at 2:09 am }

Elli – night four was great- I slept all night – the dreams were still vivid but I didn’t have the restless legs and stress about not sleeping. The chest is not as tite either. I am so proud to be on day 5 and feeling like I am over the worst of it. I believe it in my heart and soul that I never want to use the pills again after going through this nightmare – but on the other hand I have to find out who I am without the pills. Good luck to all of you, Joe Meetoo and Elli and lets all beat this demon. Elli try to get off the xanex if you can. You don’t want to replace one drug for another.

326 elli { 09.16.10 at 9:52 am }

hey guys day 3 just woke up not a such a bad felling fellingmuch better i hope i make it tru ot the day may god be withuss amen kitty mom u are almost ther another cuople off days and u willbe pill freeee amennn to that god bless us alllll

327 Kitty Mom { 09.16.10 at 10:30 am }

Elli – great job – keep on trucking dear – you can do it shoot for day five and you will be much much better but sounds like you are doing well – God bless you
Kiity Mom

328 Time 4 change { 09.16.10 at 11:28 am }

Hello everybody. I have been crying reading thru most of your posts from the sheer relief that there may be some hope for me. You are wonderful to share your stories and honesty. You have inspired me greatly. I have been taking Vicoden for about 5 years and have worked my way up to 15 E.S. or 10 – 15 Norcos a day. I am absolutely miserable when I can’t get them and have tried to withdraw by taking 3, 4 a day but it’s like not taking any. I still get sick, vomit, ache, miserable everything you all named. And when I read that someone was having ear symptoms my heart jumped. I have had that too. My fiancee has been trying everything to help me but wonders why I am still so sick if I am having some of the drug in my system. I realize now that the decrease may be too much too quickly. I share the shame, fears, and emotions you all mention and I will pray for each of you and myself now that I finally feel there is hope. I have gotten so frustrated with my addiction that I have considered suicide many times. I have a fiancee and children and I know that would devastate them but I just thought there was no hope and was so tired of being trapped. I don’t even get a high, I take the pills to feel normal and be able to function. I’m going to start the Thomas recipe and some of the suggestions you all mentioned. My fiancee is going to leave me if I don’t kick and that in itself scares the hell out of me. She is my soul mate and has seen me thru so much. She wants to make love to someone who is not high all the time and is so wonderful she deserves the world. Thank you all for being there. I will be checking in regularly. Stay strong and know we are all family now in our own crazy way. Its’ great to know there are people out there who know and understand. Peace and Power to you all!

329 jack tee { 09.17.10 at 8:59 am }

I want thank all of you ! U all have been a great help with my w/d and my add. my life is been hell . im n day 4 been two sick 2 write .My GOD bless each of u and he has always been there 4 us all even when we didnt think so he is .When i feel a little better i will tell u all my story so it may help anyone even if it helps one person it worth it .GOD does answer every ones prayers just not the way u want them answer. he answer them the way it is best 4 us & our LOVE ONES. MAY GOD BLESS EVERYONE JACK TEE

330 melinda { 09.18.10 at 8:39 am }

i have been doing ok,but today it is so hard,i feel like i need a pill so bad,all my friends are coming over for a bday patry and they all take them,and i know they will be here,noone knows that i am trying to stop,i guess i am afraid ill loose a lot of friends,seeing i lost all my clean friends i dont want to be alone.,please and ideas on how i can do this and not be so angry with myself

331 Kitty Mom { 09.18.10 at 9:18 am }

Time for change, so glad to hear you are ast least thinking of stopping the pills – that is the first step. I was thinking about it for months and did not really make the committment until my source dried up and I was desparate. The first day day last Sunday – using the thomas recipe without Xanex was the first step and I am still using it to relieve the withdrawal symtoms. I am probably alot older than most of you – more a mother figure and never dreaming that at my age I would be in this situation, but I am and am now getting help here and getting through each day one day at a time. The first few days are the worst but there is light at the end of the tunnel and each day gets a little better. You CAN do it and get on with a drug free life – just keep coming here and I will help you all I can from my experience. One day at a time – day seven for me – to a pill free life….Love and prayers to you all
Love, Kitty Mom

332 Kitty Mom { 09.18.10 at 9:24 am }

Melinda – if you are seriously quiting, you need time and space for the firth few days without people – and then slowly bring them back when you are feeling better. But please if only here but preferably in a person that can call you personally each day, tell someone and bring there love asnd prayers into the rehab. Hang in there – 7 days ago when I first quit, I could not do it until all the pills I had were gone – then it was a new beginning. On those first two days, I could have very well given in to someone offering me pills = like your friends you mentioned so whatever you descide i am here to respond to your posts – God Bless you and take your burden off of you.
Kitty Mom

333 Kitty Mom { 09.18.10 at 9:39 am }

Jack Tee
Hang in there – day four was a little rough for me also but it does get better and I am here if you need me – Love, Kitty Mom

334 Todd { 09.18.10 at 3:36 pm }

Hello. Good stuff on your recipe. I did this long time ago for the same thing but was pretty sure it was called the Todd recipe. I tried over dosing last night on 30 lortab 10s… After years of 15 loris a day…Didn’t work. I guess God or whoever you believe in has a plan for us all.. I am taking EMPower plus minus prescribed medicine to fight bipolar, OCD, trichollomania etc..and hope this is gonna work. The emp has all the vitamins and minerals in it to help fight this detox and make my life meaningful.. Good luck to all.if you put your mind to it we can do it. I’m Todd from reality tv show called Obsessed episode 5.. From that to this. A reminder of my life on national tv for my kids and wife to see in case I’m successful on quitting these killers or myself.. This is day 1.. Almost time to go back to sleep..and I’m one of those guys that’s has everything and still not happy..WTF?..take care my fellow sufferers..sincerely still here Todd

335 melinda { 09.18.10 at 8:17 pm }

kitty mom;i did it i didnt take any, but the gut feeling i had was horrible,it was very intentset,i would leave the party and go sit in the house and play some games on the comp,and then i would go back,drank alot of ginger ale for thats about all my stomack can take, it feels like i lost my best friend,thank god there was some one there who didnt to pills ,so i hang out with her,boy the way i started last sunday,and wensday i got the flu that was giong around,so i am dealing with that,and now this ,i know it not worth it,i have taken one vic in the last 6 days for that was all we had and i had a 102 fever but it did not stay down to well,so i tried the baths 3 to 4 times a day for 2 days and the fever finely broke,like some one else posted god must of done it his way,thank you for being here for me and how i found this web site i have no idea,must of meant to be.i will keep you posted

336 Kitty Mom { 09.19.10 at 4:07 am }

Day eight for me and guess what – I slept pretty much all night – just getting up now at 8:00 AM. Every day I get through is a blessing from God. I go back to work tomorrow everyone so please keep me in your prayers and I will do the same for you. Today is a new and better day one day at a time.

337 Kitty Mom { 09.19.10 at 4:13 am }

Melinda – I take it you are young due to the fact your friends are into pills. I am so glad you did not take any and am really proud of you. Hang in there – I am confused on how many days you have been clean but however long it has been, you are on the right tract and I am sorry you are suffering so much – but there is a tiny light at the end and it keeps geting larger each day. We can both do it – I am sure of it. Keep me posted dear.
Love to all
Kitty Mom

338 Kaylee64 { 09.19.10 at 12:14 pm }

Making sure I’m in before I make my fingers hurt from typing too much he

339 Kaylee64 { 09.19.10 at 12:24 pm }

Hi, I’m in my 40s and after 2 neck surgies I take 3 norrcos a day, I rarely take more I have chronic neck pain. My main problem right now is my husband became hooked on my pills now I feel so bad for him and he feels bad because he takes all my s–t that’s what I call it! He tried for two days to stop because I ran out grrr. Took a trip by himself and called me crying a few hours later saying omg this sucks so bad and apologizing for taking all my meds… He then went behind my back and bought ten for 40$ I was like are you kidding me I get 120 for 8 bucks!!! Anyway I get mine in two days and they last me for longer than 30 days but when he rakes them 10 days tops!! I told him take a vacation and I will help you any advice for me I am hurting from not taking them but hurting more because he hurts so very bad.. Thanks, in tears right now help , k

340 Todd { 09.19.10 at 6:23 pm }

Yep it’s Todd again. Did I say I quit smoking medical marijuana a month ago after 6 years and a 800 $. A month ago. I’m in so cal where we go to club and buy EVERYthing we wanted. Hash top grade weed edibles and all that crap. That was the hardest addiction I thought til now..it’s day 2 30 a day lortab 10 shaking sweating and really giving thought I’m better off not here to verbally abuse my family anymore. Bipolar was brought to me to reap all that I sowed thru my life. I quit smoking cigs a year but moved on to The best electronic cigarette ever til today where my ejuice has finally tasted like shit. I am smokng a real cigarette to fight this nicotine. After all I’ve tried I am suddenly losing this fight. If I wasn’t Christian and worried about going to he’ll I’d be piping my exhaust into my lungs. I am strong as an ox however I feel it’s time for me to make the right decision .. Oh boohoo you think. I’ve thrown all my friends away even celebritie friends. I have everything I can ask for and still can’t get it right. There is no one left to talk to. I’ve been eating Xanax to sleep but emotionally bringing me down. EMP is in my system for 4 days. But now what. I know. Just a lil more thinking since I have an 8 year old daughter whom loves me. But it’s okay for a convicted murderer to ask for forgiveness and go to heaven. Go figure. But for a mentally gone wrong father would a higher power except me?.. Totally lost Todd

341 southern mom { 09.20.10 at 5:26 am }

Hi Melinda,
I ws the one referencing that God does things HIS way and I think that you probably didn’t have the flu at all, I don’t think I did either. It was the withdraws!!! Fever, chills, mind-numbing cramps… yes all flu symptoms, but after going through this probably 10-15 times, it is withdraws and the more it happens the more toll it takes on the body and the harder it is to bounce back.
My first sober day was 9/11 it is now 9/20 and I am still having up and down days. Up days are AWESOME!!! Down days just plain suck! I hate being sick so much, even one minute of not feeling nauseous or having my stomach cramp so bad I can’t stand up straight (if I can stand up at all) is a minute of pure heaven.
I am doing this with the help of one of the very best people I have ever met, we met on this site, he keeps me going when I want to give up and I truly believe his support and prayers have saved my life.
You are on the right track, keep posting , take everyone’s advice and apply to YOUR life, do the things that make you happy (NO DRUGS!!) music, reading, exce cise, food, nature, hobbies, kids…Make sure you have something to enjoy every day, it will be your life-saver!
You are on my prayer list, along with everyone else that is sharing this road with us.
Good luck and God Bless.

342 Kitty Mom { 09.20.10 at 5:09 pm }

Southern Mom – I agree God has his own way of doing things – like for me, HE dried up my sources and made me realize that this was the time to come clean…and here I am after my 9th day – working again and doing things around the house like a new person….God has his own plan for us and answers prayers in strange ways….Love to all of you

343 southern mom { 09.21.10 at 2:09 am }

Hi Todd,
I really wanted to pray for awhile before responding to your post. I asked for the right words so I could get my care and concern for you through to you. Here goes…
First, no matter what you have done, are doing or going to do, you are already forgiven, no questions asked! However, forgiving yourself seems to be way out of your grasp right now. Re-reading your words over and over, you are beating the crap out of yourself!! Ease up! You are NOT a monster, you have serious health issues with an addictive personality to go with it, not a great case scenario! You have made bad choices, all of here on this site have, we all let “something” take control of our lives and not in a good way. You are one of the lucky ones, you ARE NOT in denial, that’s huge HUGE!!! You also have your saving grace right where you need it… your daughter… who loves you… no matter what you do!!! You have your own built in reason to not suck on an exhaust pipe! God gives us what we need, and He must really love you to give you such an awesome blessing. Every time you think about what you are doing, think about your little girl, how much she needs you. I do this with my kids close to every minute of my days, their unconditional love for me is my strength to be the parent they deserve. You are one very lucky man, you have all you need to save yourself right under your nose, their is no drug that is stronger than that.
You are not alone with your addiction, we all are here with you. You are not alone in your recovery either, God has already done that for you.
Please keep coming back, keep sharing and keep listening.
May God bless all you do today!

344 Todd { 09.22.10 at 5:28 pm }

Southern Mom,…the minute I left that last ugly message I was admitted on a 5150..72 hour involuntary hold for suicidal threats and taken away by two of LAs most uplifting caring and finest LAPD police officers..and this is very rare from them…I AM SURE it was your prayers that guided me out of this chemical nightmare with these cops..I Thank you especially YOU are in my heart… I am responding to you after crying from reading your post from the side of my 5 bedroom rented house finally detoxxed and dealing with the few backaches and sweats left to deal with…still shaky and miserable from the henry mayo horrible service mental hospital..you know your states in trouble when all day long they freeze you to death..for their concern of catching germs…overstaffed imbeciles that provided absolutely zero group therapy sessions..Communication so important..and bitter wanna be nurses constantly pumping you with medicines they could barely read aloud..and having no clue of WTF could be done to help the innocents next to me cutting their wrists after talking to supposed love ones on the payphone..when all they needed to say was hey folks let’s talk..or hey fellas how bout shutting off the latest Lindsay lohan and child killer news and let’s pick up some crayons..that’s it..I’m sick to my stomach embarrased and insulted by so
called professionals..Do I need a new residence in Canada because of our failed Ca budget crap and politics to get any kind of empathetic treatment instead of poorly trained monkeys..?!?..anyways Thank You Southern Mom..you are prime example of people that care..anyone else that read this. And prayed You are loved..gn

for grammar and rambles and typos but it’s time for my hot baths..and raindrop waterfall

345 Todd { 09.22.10 at 5:47 pm }

I just read my post…lmao
boy did I miss the special little yellow English. And grammar bus huh?…to Thomas… You are loved.. Your system I’ve done before and succeeded.. This time around I was eager and rushed and totally did this all wrong…extremely…fucking forget about it 10 out of 2 key missing ingredients totally forgotten and proved me deadly.no disrespect at all Thomas..I did it way fast and wrong..Thank you..gn

346 Shmoe { 09.23.10 at 5:08 am }

Todd – My dear friend Southern Mom just told me about you so
I came back here to read your posts. She is totally right in what she says, God forgives you and knows the hell you’ve gone through.

I am just a few months off of vics myself, last month I too spent
a week in the psych ward (NY) and it was a lot like jail.

Please know that I too am praying for your full recovery.

347 southern mom { 09.23.10 at 7:24 am }

Hi Todd,
I am just shocked about what you went through for your OWN SAKE??? Are you kidding me? I am glad that nightmare is over, but I truly think that something needs to be done about a system that would treat anyone like you described. OK, We have addictions, some self inflicted others out of necessity, but we are still human, and deserve to treated accordingly. I wouldn’t treat a rat the way they treated you. My friend shmoe went through some similar hell that’s why I wanted him to check in also.
OK, so your home, working your detox, please take the time to it right for you. My mantra is one day at a time, and some days I take it by the minute. I rely heavily on God to be there for me constantly and find constant reassurance in some of the simpliest things life has to offer (a full moon with a shining Jupiter jump started this morning).
You have the tools and the desire, make sure you use them, always, they are gifts!
Be kind to yourself, you have been through hell and you deserve any bits of heaven you can get.
You have many people praying for you!

348 Kitty Mom { 09.23.10 at 1:30 pm }

Todd – Southern Mom is right – I feel so bad for you and am keeping you in my prayers also. Please just know that things will improve. Everyones situation is a little different but we are all in the same boat and need to take one day at a time and believe me, two weeks ago this coming Saturday was my last dose of hydro and I never never in a million years thought I would feel this good today. It was my day 12 pill free and it does get better. I am pretty strong minded and when I decided to quit, I believe that is it for me – but the physical and mental torment of the first week I would not wish on my worstest enemy. Now I am feeling happiness for simple things like having a normal poop (haha). Hang in there and things will improve and like southern mom and schmoe, you are in my prayers. Read some of my trials over the last week and you will relate but also know it gets better….Love to all
Kitty Mom

349 Momofaddict { 09.24.10 at 5:59 am }

I get hope and some comfort from some of your posts and fear and angst with others. My son is trying so hard to quit his addiction to oxy and I just sit by and help with all of your suggestions. Thank you so much!
I would like to hear more about this kratom. Where do I find it, and what kind do I need to get. I am so clueless about all of this.

350 Tabathas Mom { 09.24.10 at 8:18 pm }

Hello… Well, I’m on day 24. The RLS is still unbearable. I just want to cut them off at the hip! Every now and then I also get it in my arms which is also very irritating. I was taking approximately twenty 10/325 norco’s a day for the past 3 years. The last 3 – 4 years are pretty much a fog. I’ve lost 2 jobs and have currently been out of work for 13+ months. The habit was costing me approximately $750 a month. And I was doing some pretty shady stuff to keep it up. I knew it was over when it was between paying my rent of buying pills. It’s been hell. You’d think after 24 days I’d be feeling better. My head is – for sure! But the restless leg is almost unbearable at times – and lasts anywhere from between 20 minutes up to an hour and doesn’t just happen at night. It’s all throughout the day. Rough times. Banana’s don’t help. And it’s weird, when I was hammered on the pills I could walk 4+ miles a day. Now, I can’t even do a lap around the complex :-( . I am going to try the hot baths. Maybe that will help. I sure hope never to go through this again. Quitting weed 10.5 years ago was a CAKE-WALK compared to this! And quitting cigarettes … easy. At least compared to quitting the opiates. But I refuse to give in to it. I don’t ever want to have to go through this hell again. Not ever. Thank you for this site – best of luck to one and all …

351 Help needed { 09.26.10 at 7:03 am }

Hi all, I am just starting this phase, I have wanted to get off the Roxy’s for a while now. I started them in April and now it is September and there hasn’t been a day I haven’t had one. I was prescribed Percs since 2004 and when I would get them we would take them on the weekends and kind of party on them and my way to explain that was I didn’t drink I didn’t smoke hell I didn’t do anything but that. THen one day I wanted a Perc and didn’t have one and a friend introduced these to me and it started with one and so on, now this is where I am. I am an accountant and have a full time job so I really need help I have taken as little as one roxy a day to 8 a day 30mg, can some one tell me what I need to do to get off of these things. MY biggest fear is the withdrawals. How long do they last and what can I expect going cold turkey. Please someone help, I have three kids a set of twins that is 4 and a 13 year old that non know what I have done to myself, then I have my husband that is as bad as I am, we really need help. He has the physical part of it, I get the anxiety and I can not handle it. Please let me know what I am for. I really am begging for help. Thanks for anyone that can give me advices.

352 Kitty Mom { 09.26.10 at 4:09 pm }

Todd you have not written in a few days and I am hoping and praying that you are all right or as all right as you can be right now. Please let us know how you are doing. There is light at the end of the proverbial tunnell – it takes a while to see it but it is there. This weekend was hard for me – I’m just finding my way without the pills – kind of putting in time getting through each day. I hope someday that we all feel better and know what our lives are suppossed to be without the pills….I find that keeping busy is the best thing but this weekend I was worn out from lack of sleep . Hopefully Monday will be a better day.
Take care you all and let us keep each other in our prayers.

353 southern mom { 09.27.10 at 9:44 am }

Hi Kitty Mom,
Today is day 17 for me, I have had all of 2 drinks and no vics and I tried the Kratom and I did feel a mild buzz, not like the vics, just a warm mellow buzz, it was kinda nice.
I haven’t gotten all my energy back, but I agree that if I keep busy I am getting quite a bit done, I just don’t have the creativity I used to have for the art I enjoy, but my friend Schmoe has been through this and hass assured that it will return when it’s time.
My relationship with God has been the most important part of my sobriety, He is always there when I need to talk or encouragement or forgiveness (I need a lot of that because I have beating myself up with guilt). I am so thankful for every blessing in my life. My husband, kids and friends all know that I am going through “something” no one really knows exactly what, but I have changed and they are giving me space and understanding to work this out, they also know that I will share when I am able to. Honesty is so hard right now because some fo the stuff I have done to get high was really bad and if I can’t forgive myself I can’t expect anyone else to. I guess that’s why I need God’s guidance and support sooo much.
Todd, I am praying for you, if you can, let us know how things are going, I find if I can be specific in my prayer time, God gives me the Grace to know He is with us.
God Bless all of you out there going through this wild or supporting someone who is!

354 Kitty Mom { 09.27.10 at 1:05 pm }

Southern Mom – I am happy for you – we are so close together in this thing – you at 17 days, me at 16. Congratulations. That is great. I prayed in the ladies room at work today for all of you and am hoping we hear from Todd to see how he is doing – TODD if you are out there let us know how you are doing. I am so inspired by all of you – southern Mom, Metoo, Joe, Stu. All of you have a bright new day tomorrow and one more day without dependency on pills or whatever other demon is hurting you. Love you guys
Kitty Mom

355 southern mom { 10.01.10 at 12:22 pm }

Hi Kitty Mom;
I stumbled across the “About” site the other day and have been praying long and hard about what I am feeling and what I think I should do.
So, after careful thought, I want you to be very careful with your feelings and your heart and what you share with a certain member on the “about” thread.
I know most everyone on these board are there to help others or to get help, but there are some that judge people unfairly and harshly and really hurt others. You seem to be a lovely wonderful person as do most of those on that site and I just don’t want something bad to happen to any of you that don’t deserve it.
I will continue to pray for all you, especially for the person that has the potential to hurt others, hopefully they have learned a lesson and will listen to God’s wise counsel, “Judge not lest ye be judged”!!!
I applaud your strength and integrity and I know you are well on your way to a better life.
I no longer feel safe posting my true emotions and feelings on these sites because of what happened to me, but I will continue to check in to see if everyone is OK.
May God bless all of you and good luck.

356 Kitty Mom { 10.02.10 at 3:42 am }

Hi Southern Mom
I was deeply saddened by your last post in the fact that you were hurt in the past on this forum. I will continue to be kind and fair to all posters here and am filled with love for everyone and until the time that anyone here hurts me directly, I will take my chances. I am here to help anyone that I can through my experiences and it has been a pleasure to meet you and the others. Love to you and please continue to let me know your progress and how you are doing.
Kitty Mom
21st day just startin

357 southern mom { 10.02.10 at 1:56 pm }

Hi Kitty Mom,
I absolutely LOVE your optomism and faith in people. It was a long time ago but I felt that way too, unfortunately there are some really bad people out there that have nothing better to do than hurt other people.
I pray that God gives me the faith you have in humanity, I truly hate feeling so much skeptisim and doubt in others motives.
I also pray for everyone on this site, to come and get what they need, support, commraderie and total acceptance. NOT what I got, a cruel judgement that I wasn’t doing things a certain way and dismissed like I was a piece of garbage.
I promise I will be watching closely and if anyone tries to do to others, what they did to me, I will make sure they are stopped in their tracks! This is a place to be open, to get help from others going through the same turmoil, NOT a place to judge and hurt.
I know this person knows that I am talking about them and I pray, constantly, please don’t hurt anyone else the way you hurt me! I didn’t think I deserved what you did to me and I know these good people truly don’t deserve it either!
God Bless you all, and I will be lifting you up at church tomorrow when I am singing with our awesome choir and at altar call, God will be surrounding you with His love and grace!

358 Fyction { 10.03.10 at 10:37 am }

Hi all, just been reading all your posts and it helps to know there are so many of us going through the same thing. I am trying to basically go cold turkey off a vic/perc habit without using suboxone. The problem is I drink also. I have a new prescription for naltrexone, which BTW is a freaking miracle drug as far as I am concerned, but I need to have the opiates out of me before I can take it. No offense meant to anyone who uses subs, whatever works for anyone is great for them! I have used the Thomas recipe in the past, and it has worked pretty well. The only thing I did different is I had some Robaxin left in the house from a car accident, and they helped incredibly with the RLS, better than anything else for me. I am not a doctor, and they do interact with other meds, so as always do your research! I also take 150 mg trazodone w/1 mg xanax for sleep (doctor recommended). Anyway, I wish all of you guys/gals the best in this crappy struggle we are all going through, but it will get better, just have to believe it. Good luck to everyone, I’ll be thinking of you!

359 southern mom { 10.07.10 at 4:18 am }

Hello all;
Mom of addict, I’m sorry I just saw your post about the Kratom from about a month ago. I don’t know if anyone has responded to you about it yet, so I will.
Kratom is an all natural herb. I order it online from the Kratomking.com I take the Maeng Da Thai capsules. Depending on your child’s addiction level (mine was moderate to severe) I start by taking 3 and then whenever I feel the need 2 more. It is a very calm and mellow. Everyone is different so you will need to judge by your own feelings how much is right for you.
As with everyone on these sights wanting, needing or offering help and advice, you are in my prayers, relly on Him to help you, He saved me. I am short of a month sober and everyday is better than the last. After the withdraws are done, just getting out of bed and functioning feels awesome. Letting the Light in is my strength and courage to “Never Go BAck There Again” It’s my mantra and when I say it out loud, it makes this whole addiction so real and puts everything in perspective. Being an addict is no way to live.
Everyday without a pill is a gift, I get to enjoy my life, my family and friends. Living sober is so much better than trying to figure out how I’m going to get high, when i will need more drugs, who am I going to USE to get more. That’s not living, that’s a slow road to dying and I have to much life left to live.
May God Bless you all today, let Him in your heart, He loves you, you are HIS!!!

360 Kitty Mom { 10.07.10 at 1:12 pm }

Soutern Mom – congrats on almost a month clean – I am really happy for you – this is day 26 for me and am feeling stonger every day. I tried Kratom back when I was in fear of running out of pills and also when I was out -I have some under my sink in the bathroom now but am going to dispose of it when I think of a way to do it – it bulks up so, I am afraid to dump it in the toilet or the sink – and don’t want to throw it in the garbage. Even though it was a pretty good substitute for pills when I was on pills, I do not want to use it now….I don’t want to substitute one habit for another – even though it is supposed to be a natural plant – but so are poppies and weed ( I grew up in the sixties…..haha) Just be carefull of it cause it can also be addicting if your use it regularly…..
Hope you have a good day and keep me posted as of your progress.
God bless you all and keep you safe.
Kitty Mom

361 southern mom { 10.08.10 at 9:08 am }

Kitty mom;
I’m truly sorry that meetoo is going after me again through these posts to you and others on the web-sites. I never mentioned who the person was that was a problem in my life, she must have felt guilty and exposed herself. My ONLY reason to even bring up the trouble this person caused in my life was to protect others, and pray she doesn’t do to anyone else what she did to me. Me “ATTACK” her?? I don’t think so and once again I am the one feeling attacked by her (to use her word) venom.
This is a very volatile time in our lives, trying to break the hold drugs have on us and confiding in others is a very usefull tool. But when someone sits in judgement and makes the decision I am unworthy, it is heart breaking and earth shattering. I thank God for others that stood by me and helped me pick myself back up instead of jumping into a pill bottle.
I am not attacking, I am just pleading with her to never treat another person like that ever again!!

OK enough about that!

It looks like we are a couple days apart in our journey. I am using the Kratom but I totally understand your thoughts about using one drug to get off another so this weekend I will go Kratom free, I have been pounding the vitamins especially the B’s, I get B12 shots at my gym and I really feel an energy burst afterwards. I never used to drink caffinated drinks, but they seem to be helping with the fatigue I feel about mid day. As far as sleeping I take 2 Tylenol PMs but no matter what time I go to bed I am wide awake at 6:00. Someone on this board said something about not taking Tylenol but I don’t know why?? Maybe damaging the liver like the vicodins did.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend, have fun and rejouce in what the Lord has given us!

362 southern mom { 10.10.10 at 12:59 pm }

I will always be here for you. If/when you can get in touch. Thanx for the 2nd e-mail, I totally understand and you know I will never stop praying for you.
May God Bless you through this difficult time.

363 southern mom { 10.11.10 at 10:46 am }

Hello all;
Especially Todd and Fyction.
Todd I have been praying for you daily and I am really worried about you. I haven’t heard from you in so long. RUOK??? What is going on with you? One of the best people I know, Schmoe, reached out to you, he went through something similar to your time in the hospital and he has been asking about you. Unfortunately he is back in the hospital because of his depression. I know the who’s what’s and why’s he had to go back, unfortunately I was unable to stop the destructive force that pushed him over the edge. At least now I know what to watch out for and I can promise you that I will make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to you if you need me. Just please check in if you can and if you have the time, I will continue to pray for you.
Fyction, I am also worried about you, you haven’t posted again and I am hoping it’s because you are OK. Up or down let me know how you are doing, just like with Todd, I will protect you and surround you with prayers.
I don’t want anyone to think that they have to be part of a “brotherhood” for lack of a better phrase. Everyone is welcome, there is no need to wear a nametag, no secret handshake. Just people wanting to help people, all people, all the time. No one should ever feel left out when it comes to seeking help, we are all in the same boat and everyone deserves acceptance, guidance, ideas and suggestions, the sharing of personal experiences that may help others and most of all understanding. I am here to support, just like I was supported by a dear friend.
I have been bothered when I read about people feeling like they were an outsider of a group, these boards are open for everyone to share every feeling, even if those feelings are negative. Everyone should feel free to say whatever they want without judgement or condemnation. This club is open to all who come seeking help, and I am honored to be a part of this club. No core, just all for one and one for all, lets tackle this addiction together and come out refreshed, renewed and redeemed.
My prayers are out there for EVERYONE!!! Let me know if you have something specific I can pray for. I am here for all of you!
Have a very blessed day!

364 Alicia { 10.12.10 at 10:49 pm }

I want to thank everyone for their comments, and especially thank the person who created this website. I have taken 6-8 10mg norcos daily without a prescription for the last 5 yrs. I now have to submit to random drug tests so I have to stop. Although I have to admit, I have been ready to stop for awhile, I just can’t handle the withdrawals and it’s almost like a breakup for me. I have gone through withdrawals in the past, but as soon as I have access to them again, I start all over. I am ready, I can’t afford this drug any more and I have to get my life back. I am going to try this recipe and I pray I can get through it. All of your comments have given me the encouragement and faith I believe I need to get through this. I thought I was all alone in the world. It turns out I am not. I too am embarrassed to let anyone know about my addiction, and I also have access to this drug at any time. But I want my life back. I am ready and I will let everyone know how this works. Thanks again!

365 Alicia { 10.12.10 at 11:35 pm }

Can anyone tell me if the Kratom helps in any way before I spend the money to order it? I want to have everything ready before I stop taking the hydrocodone.

366 fedupwithpills { 10.15.10 at 7:23 pm }

I’ve been looking around the net for about 5 months now. I thinks its time I tell my story. I’m 22 I’ve been taking vicodin without perscription for past 4 years. Off and on. But the past 2 years was pretty much everyday. I was taking atleast 5 750 a day sometimes more. Sometimes it was vicodin and percocet. I was able to get 5 750 and 2 percs a day. I was really tired of living like that. Pills was just getting old. I was going out of my way just to get a few extra. I quit cold turkey because my scources was out for afew days and it was afew days b4 my daughters first birthday. I wanna live to see her graduate and marry and have kids.I. figured it would kinda be a good birthday gift. So after only 12 hrs without last pill I was going crazy. My body was killing me. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t wanna do anything but sleep. I missed work. At my daughters birthday party I felt so bad but I had to keep it secret from family. It lasted about 5 days. I started feeling better about the 6th day. I went 2 months clean and I still talked to the people I was getting vics and percs from. I decided to take 1 perc at work offerd from friend. That then turned into acouple p or vs every couple days. That then tured into every other day. Then before I knew it it was everyday. I was buying up everything I could get. Some people was charging 4 or 5 a each for 1 750 vic and 4 for p 5. I was taking 10 to 15 v 750 a day. The last few days I took pills Friday the 10th. I took 20 vicodin. Then Saturday was 17 vicodin and 1 p 10. Then Sunday was 5 vics and 3 p 10. I was out Monday. I went to work felt like shit. Decided it was enough I had to quit. Not only for me my family. Day 1 without I was in a pain mood all day at work. When I got home I slept ubtil the next morning. Day 2 without I was really having a hard time focusing at work. I didn’t talk to anyone and didn’t eat launch. Body killed. Mostly my back and legs. Didn’t sleep to good. I didn’t really crave the drug I justed wanted to feel normal. Day 3 without. I slept shitty. Woke up with body pains. Empty stomach. Called of work. I ended up going to er and I just told them I felt bad and my body hurt. I thought I had the flu. I didbt want them to put me in rehab so I didn’t say anything. It may have been for the best. Day 4 I still had body pains. I took a lot of motrin and tylonal. I called of work again. My chest felt funny all day. My heart would best fast off and on. I woke up day 5 felt alittle better. My back and legs n chest hurts. That’s pretty much it. I went to work witch was still alittle hard. I kinda wish I would of stayed home. Today is day 5 and I hope I never go back. I really wanna stay away from pills. It was great at first but once I actually thought about was I was becoming it was sad. I need a change. I wanna wake up every morning and just be normal. No pills to get up n go. Clean all the way. I don’t do anything else. I used to smoke weed but it started making me feel weird so I quit doing that. Iv been off that for a year now. id really like to stay off pills the rest of my life. 5 days in. Vicodin and percocet free. Great feeling. I still have a lot ahead of me. But the worst is over. I think so atleast. My daughter is my main reason I wanna stay clean. She’s everything to me and I was be everything to her. I want her to think of me a strong good loving dad. Not a pill junky. I’m sorry I’ve made a book here but hey maybe someone will read it and it will inspire them or maybe it will take there mind of there withdrawals. taking your mind of it is the best thing to do. Take a lot of baths. Read books. I really hope if your reading this you have your mind in the right direction and you decide to change ur life around. There’s something better out there then pills. I will post back for updates. This time i m not going back. I’ve come to far to turn around. Withdrawals suck. I hope this helps someone.

367 Alicia { 10.15.10 at 10:00 pm }

Hey everyone, looking for advice about Kratom? Does it help? I am so scared to try cold turkey from the hydrocodone, although I know I’m ready. I can’t believe I’ve let myself get this bad on something I’ve never even been prescribed. I do not want to go back to any opiates, mainly because of the $ factor. Please let me know if the Kratom works, I’d much rather spend money on that, then anything else.

368 metoo { 10.16.10 at 5:58 am }

Hi, Alicia. I personally know that kratom saved me. There is a website that you can do a bit more study for yourself to see if it is right for you. On this site you can find the best vendors, as well as advice and answers for any questions you might have.


369 Teacher needs help { 10.17.10 at 5:40 am }

This opiate addiction problem hits many people directly. I am a well respected National Board Certified Teacher in one of the top high schools in the country. I am also an adjunct professor at a local college teaching medical school students. I am a volunteer and almost finished with my dissertation to become a Ph.D. You are NOT a junky! I am NOT a junky! My doctors prescribed me Percocet 10/325 every 4 hours for the past 2 years because of a herniated disc caused by a car accident. The doctor told me when I asked him about the addictive nature of pain killers, he said to me: “Mr.X….you need to teach 150 students everyday. They rely on you for getting their education. You work nights educating nurses in the medical field. You spend all of your extra time working on your Ph.D dissertation and work out at the gym 3 days a week. Mr. X….your car insurance ran out and your health insurance only covers medication or surgery. You must be functional to live your life, be happy, and help those around you. Therefore, take a pill (percocet) every 4 hours so you can do everything you need to do to benefit society.” Then he continued on about how it was a shame that I couldn’t get physical therapy or even an epidural for my herniated disc. The surgeon said it was unlikely that a 33 yr old athletic man would benefit from surgery at this time and to try physical therapy (which at that time I didn’t know my Health Insurance didn’t cover).

I had to sit through my doctoral class for 10 hours yesterday. It was hell on my back. I was in so much pain and I only had ONE percocet left. The doctor stopped prescribing them because he felt I needed to go to pain management…pain management said that I should do physical therapy (which my insurance doesn’t cover and that costs over $2000 for a couple weeks and $150 for one decompression treatment) It’s a vicious cycle of nothing happening to help me! Anyway, I kept leaving the room yesterday to take 2 excedrine, 2 aleeve, 4 advil, 2 Done’s Backache Pain Pills (whatever they are) and drink a lot of red bull or coffee. Now I have no percocet left and I’m scared! I started going from 6 a day down to 4 down to 2 over the last 2 weeks. When I got to the 2 a day, I started to feel really bad, I was sweating, my heart was racing, I was extremely agitated, my legs and arms were all over the place while I was trying to sleep. I hit my wife in the face really hard accidentally :( Actually, since I’ve been taking 1/2 of a percocet a day, my withdraw symptoms have subsided but I have to keep myself busy. I’m still a total “BITCH” or “ASSHOLE” however you want to take it. I’m going to take the next two days off and go get this Thomas Recipe stuff today and hope that it works. I’m lucky enough to have a new Rx of 250 1mg valium so I’m set there and ambien CR gives me a good nights rest. I’m hoping this recipe will get me back to normal before Wednesday so I can go educate your children again.

370 southern mom { 10.18.10 at 12:37 pm }

I thought that I had turned a corner on my addiction, that I was past the need for vicodins, then shit happens and threw me for a loop (I don’t know where that phrase comes from but it’s the best I got)
Since I have lost my friend, the only person that knew what I was going through I spiraled into a deep funk and no matter what I have tried I can’t get out of it. I am beyond depressed, I feel vulnerable and useless and I can’t seem to find anything to make me happy.
I know one thing that it is good to go to these board to find support, I have supported many on their journey.
Today was the first day that I thought the world might be better without me and that scares the shit out of me.
I was hoping that someone out there might be feeling like I do, a relapse in their sobriety and feeling totally useless.
I am not looking for sympathy, I would just like to talk to someone who has fallen and can’t get up. I have been going through this for awhile and each day seems harder than the last. I really need a reason to feel better about myself because I am in a full blown self-hatred mode. I got a husband and kids who don’t deserve this person in their lives. So if you are in the same boat with me, please let me know so we can pray together.

371 shortfuse { 10.18.10 at 1:10 pm }

I am in my 3rd day of WD. This is my second go around. I am so thankful that I found this remedy. I have been a user for 7 years and I was taking 20, 10mg a day. The recipe has helped me considerably. I have the worst aches ever and the overall feeling of no energy. I pray that this is it for me. I have jepordized so much for my addiction. Thank you all for sharing your expireiences and letting me know I’m not alone.

372 metoo { 10.18.10 at 1:19 pm }

I will pray with and for you, southern mom. I am in the same boat.

373 metoo { 10.18.10 at 1:21 pm }

And the world would NOT be better without you in it.

374 Kitty Mom { 10.18.10 at 1:58 pm }

Southern Mom – I am so sorry to hear that you are depressed and on the verge or already having a relapse. Never think that this world would be better without you in it – I will be praying hard for you to get past this crisis and you need to put all that fear in the hand of the Lord right this minute – Think of those who love you and need you and take baby steps and one situation at a time – You need to pull yourself together and get past this – At least for your chidren. And – you don’t need those pills – that is the the devil talking to you through your addiction. I am here praying my heart out for you and hoping that your spirit heals and you find out what is behind your current crisis and that the Lord lays a lasting healing hand on you and lifts you up out of your pain….Please be strong!
Kitty Mom

375 feelnway2damngood { 10.18.10 at 6:02 pm }

I’ve been ready post from this site during my detox. I’ve been doing really good. I havnt taking a vicodin or percocet for 8 days now. I think I’m 100% now. I have never really been a good sleeper so besides that I’m goldn. I was really bad into vicodin. The last week I was taking it I had atleast 150. The first 5 days sucked but now I feel fine. I hope whoever is detoxn makes it. There’s always a better day ahead. My daughter was the best reason I could think of to quit. I’m young almost 23. I never want her to see her daddy going through this again. Shes almost 2 but still. For 4 days I didn’t really do much with her. That’s 4 days ill never get back but I can make the rest of our life together the best possible. This might sound cheap to some people but time goes to fast. Make the best out of today. Worry about tomrrow tomorrow. I always will. Thanks to all who have helped me. Godbless

376 southern mom { 10.19.10 at 7:59 am }

Thank you,
Metoo, I know it is probably difficult for you to pray for me. But you are spiritual and prayer is your nature, and I thank you for that.
Kitty, I appreciate your words of encouragement and your prayers.
I think prayer would help but I am in such a dark place right now that I can’t feel His presence, I can’t feel His grace, actually I’m not feeling anything good at all, except to get buzzed out of my mind, then I can go numb and not think about anything.
I do know why I am in such a funk and there is nothing I can do about it. I just need to gather up strength from somewhere/thing/one and get past this and start all over again. I hate the starting over because the last time was a real bitch and I fear and dread going through it again. I’m getting way to old to keep bouncing back.
A bottle of vodka and a bottle of vics are the only way for me to chill out and that pisses me off because I was kicking it, clean and sober for a month. But I lost my crutch and I fell, hard!
I never thought that one person could make such a huge impact on my life, but he was a part of each and every day, his words and encouragement made me see something in myself that I have never felt before. Like pride only bigger and better.
Bottom line, I just want to wake up tomorrow and have the courage and fortitude to start over, day 1, and get back on track. I really liked who I was sober, I used to worry about that too, but I actually liked me better when I wasn’t in a drunken drug fueled haze. Now I am lucky to even get up with my family before they start their day. They noticed the change in me and now they see that it wasn’t permanent and their dissappointment is heart breaking.
So…if you are praying today, pray that i get up tomorrow and start over, just pray for strength.
Thank you…sooo much!

377 metoo { 10.19.10 at 9:46 am }

Hey, Southern mom, please don’t kick yourself so hard. You are a strong person, and you’re just having a set back right now…I think maybe it keeps us human? So instead of getting shook up because you fell off the wagon, look back down that road~~and see just how much farther you are than when you started your detox. You have found some answers on this road!!!

You were worried about “who” you would be without the pills….and you found out that you are just as great without them. BIG ANSWER THERE. You found out that YOU ARE OK!!!

Now you have been through part of the detox path…and you KNOW that you can do it!! And you will do it again!! Take a little break and when it’s time again, get back on track. You’re OK!!

I remember back to some of your first posts, and you were in too dark of a place to pray then, too. That’s when I said I would pray on your behalf, so that you wouldn’t have to worry about that. I will do the same thing now. I will focus all of my prayers on you, and I pray that God will hear me once more for you…you are worth it, and you will be ok. I’ll be praying for you…take a break. Just breathe. Angels surround you…

378 pisenber { 10.19.10 at 8:15 pm }

Hi everybody!
I haven’t posted on this forum for quite a while now. If you look way back you may find some of my posts. I have a good friend on here, metoo. I have struggled with codeine addiction for many years. The whole store is way too long to go into but suffice it to say that I can relate to so many of the same problems that you all are going through. I have finally kicked my addiction to pharmaceuticals. I’m convinced of that. Kitty Mom, I am 61 too. And, Todd, I looked up your bio on Obsessed. I usually watch that show anyway and was happy to see that i hadn’t missed the one you were on. It was pretty heart-wrenching. I noticed you haven’t posted lately. Hope things are okay for you.

I had been posting on here for months. I was going through the problems associated with a broken wrist (my second one). I had one doctor botch it up and ended up having surgery to just get it to the point it is now. Still hurts, looks ugly, but at least I can use it almost normally now. But being that I was addicted to pain meds because I liked what they did for my mental state and energy level, I was more than happy to take the little pieces of paper from my doctors and go get my prescriptions filled. But I knew it had to end. I was so tired of trying to find sources for these drugs (I even ordered some Tylenol #3s from Turkey once) that I knew I had to stop. I did go through the physical withdrawals but, for me, the mental thing loomed much larger. I’m not a happy person to begin with due to a bad marriage (40 years) which I am finally starting to find my way out of, so to go through the depression and hopeless feelings that you get with withdrawal was just too much for me. So I struggled for quite a while trying to get off the pain pills. That is why I was on this site for so long. Back and forth, back and forth. You know!

I am pleased to say that today I don’t even want pain pills. I think if someone offered me one right now I would turn them down. Believe me, I never though I would feel this way. One of the things (actually the most helpful) that helped me is kratom. I use it almost daily now. I used to take the capsules but they are more expensive so I switched to the powder. I usually just mix it with OJ and chug it down. I know it sounds awful, but I got used to it. It gives me energy and an uplifting mental feeling. And just knowing that there is an herb that can provide that for me (especially on days when I am sad for seems like no reason) kind of gives me hope. I do think there is an addictive quality to it but, like last week, I ran out and didn’t have any for 5 days, it wasn’t even comparable to doing without the pills I was on. I still drink a beer or a glass of wine or two many days too.

I just wanted to post here and let you guys all know that there is hope for everyone. I kept hitting rock bottom but, as they say in NA, I would just dig a little deeper. I’ve hit rock bottom so many times! But I truly feel that all that is over for me now.

All the support I got here and on the kratom forum (thekratomforum.com) helped immensely. My friend metoo provided lots of good advice, prayers and just was THERE for me. I have started going to church with my daughter-in-law and basically just making sounder decisions and feeling more optimistic about life.

I know there will still be challenges. I do have to get this divorce and move and I have financial problems. But it’s so much better than it was. Keep the faith all you people!

379 Kitty Mom { 10.20.10 at 1:32 pm }

Wow – lots of new folks on here – for those of you who are just starting out getting off pills, it does get better – On day 8 I was pretty much over everything and no matter how bad it was (I am clean over a month now) when I look back on just one week out of my entire life, it does not seem bad at all…back then though – OMG it was bad! Now, I could not have done it without the folks on this site – some who I have become friends with over the last month. I came every day and posted my progress, hopefully I will be aqble to help some of you like my freinds on here have helped me.
Hang in their everyone
Think of those children who depend on you and do it for them.

I will keep coming back here to find out how you all are doing
Keep up the good work shortfuse, fed up, feelnway, and teacher –
and pisenber, any friend of Metoo is a friend of mine – congrats on your continued success.
Southern Mom if you are out there let us know how you are doing
Take care and all of you newbees – keep on posting
Kitty Mom

380 Susan { 10.25.10 at 8:16 am }

Hi Everyone- I am also glad I found this site. First a little background- 3 years ago I started having severe pelvic pain- according to my OB-GYN doctor it was because I was in peri-menopause and ready to go into menopause. That was 3 years ago and I still have regular periods- so obviously not in menopause. I had an ultrasound done and nothing found. Just bad cramps all month, every month and then major cramps two weeks out of every month. I was downing 10 Advil’s a day for the pain, and it did nothing. Enter my GP- she gave me a script for vicodin with the 500 mg of Tylenol in it. Why they add Tylenol to an opiate is beyond me, seeing Tylenol is the weakest pain reliever I have ever taken and to add it to the hydrocodone just creates the possibility of liver damage and I am also an recovering alcoholic in a current relapse. Anyhow, I was pretty “good” for the first 2 years- I only took one pill a day. Then this past year I had a series of health and dental issues that afforded me the opportunity to use more. Even then, I only went up to two pills a day, but this time it was 7.5. Then, just recently I had an attack of ischemic colitis, was in the hospital on morphine 24/7. When I got out I was prescribed I guess what they call norco’s with 10 mcg or mg? of hydrocodone. I was in so much pain I chowed them down about 4-5 a day. Now compared to others on this site, this sounds like nothing. But I am also bipolar, more apt to be depressed and these things in the beginning put me in a really good mood and made me motivated. That ended about a year ago. Even with the recent larger amounts, it helped the pain, but did nothing for my lack of motivation and constant low-grade depression I have suffered with most of my life. My GI doc I knew was not about to just keep refilling my script and my GP I think finally got wise to me, because she stopped filling my script for 30 a month down to 10 a month. So I knew I was screwed. I went through the ten in less than a week. But I knew the end was near (as in I would have to pay the piper and go through withdrawal to get this monkey off my back) so I cut the 10 pills of 7.5′s in half and took one half in the a.m. and one half in the p.m. and then towards the end of the week I was only taking one half a day for about 4 days until I had none left. I thought, gee, with all the large amounts other people in these posts took, that my withdrawals would be mild. WRONG. I think it is because I had been on them for a long time-3 years- and also being bipolar my brain is already pretty screwed up and it seemingly needed this opiate to somewhat function and make me feel “normal”. Now through in the fact that I am an alcoholic (a late bloomer- didn’t heavily drink until about 5 years ago and I am 53) but boy, I made up for lost time. So I have 2 or 3 (if you want to count nicotine) monkeys on my back. I can only deal with one at a time. I decided that the vicodin had to be the first to go. Now I was ready to detox at home from alcohol this past weekend (over the past three weeks I was drinking about a pint to a pint and a half or more of whisky a day) became quite clear to me. I was weaning off the hard booze by using champagne and then my plan was to further wean off with beer (each being less and less percentage of alcohol in them) when after two days of champagne (Thursday and Friday) I had my last half pill of vicodin left. Saturday a.m. I woke up and within an hour every muscle, my bones and even probably my hair (lol) felt like it was on fire. The pain was unbearable. Almost as unbearable as when I had my ischemic colitis attack- which was like having a 20 pound baby naturally. So I knew this was war and I am planning on winning no matter what. Saturday I could only lay on the couch and watch movies to take my mind off the pain (it didn’t work). Finally, I took an ambien to konk out for most of the day so I didn’t have to feel the pain. I was winding down on the champagne at the same time, when I decided I was sick of champagne and dumped it out and bought beer. I figured if I was going to suffer I matters well do it all at once and get it over with. Well, Saturday was sheer hell and at night I was up every half hour. Sunday it was still the same searing muscle and bone pain. This all on such a small amount of vicodin, but like I said, I think it is the amount of years I was on it plus my bipolar brain was having none of it. It wanted this drug (like all of our brains do- bipolar or not) and it was going to create as much pain as possible so I would give it the drug. Luckily, I have no vicodin left, nor do I want to. Instead, I ended up drinking a total of 7 beers throughout the day and night and taking Alleve and watching more movies. I have to say the booze and Alleve did help me…yes, I know, not exactly the Thomas Recipe, but we all do what we have to do to get through. I managed to eat one good meal a day with vitamins at least. I did have the shits the first day and took the Immodium. That subsided pretty fast. I didn’t get headaches, I didn’t get nausea. So I guess I am lucky there. I also didn’t get RLS. It is mostly searing pain and insomnia. Last night I was so tired, yet could not sleep. I prayed my ass off and fell asleep like a rock. I thought the worst is over…WRONG. Within a few hours back came the searing pain. I was so fatigued I could hardly make it to the package store to restock with 2- 6 packs o fbeer and a pack of cigs. (again- not advised and not the Thomas Recipe). I hate being in a bathtub, so I did take a very hot shower for as long as I could take it and I think it helped a short time. I can’t stand around all day in a hot shower. Well, actually I could, because I don’t work, but I wouldn’t have the patience for it. I am supposed to be calling my counselor to let her know how my booze weaning withdrawal went over the weekend and I can’t bring myself to even pick up a phone. I am just so tired. I can’t wait to get over this, so I can then tackle my booze problem. That I haven’t just said screw it and went out and got whisky with what has been going on with me, is actually a huge thing. I have detoxed at home from booze about 3-4 times and it was like a walk in the park compared to this hell. I look forward to the day the pain stops. I know I will get cravings, but I can get through that. Of course, lucky me, I am also into PMS now, soon to get my period…so my pelvic pain is at an all time high without the drugs. I don’t care. I am going to tough this out. I guess what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger…as the saying goes. The main thing is not to forget the hell you went through to get off the drugs or the booze. And it is easy to forget. Then you are right back where you started off. BTW, I went to AA in February and was sober for about 5 months. Then some personal stuff happened and I went back to the booze because I am one that cannot deal with anger and feelings. But as soon as I am over Monkey #1, I will tackle Monkey #2 (booze) and lastly, Monkey #3- nicotine gum and the few cigarettes a day I smoke on top of chewing the gum. Addiction SUCKS. Good luck to everyone. Kitty Mom is right- if you don’t want to do it for yourself (a lot of us are self-haters) then do it for your kids- or in my case, my 18 month old grandson. I don’t want to be a loser of a grammy…I don’t want to be the grammy who is a druggie and a drunk and when it is my time to leave this earth I will be neither…I plan to be sober…even if it kills me. lol

381 Kitty Mom { 10.25.10 at 5:50 pm }

Susan – I wish you the best in beating your three demons and the most important thing here is that you are determined – I can hear it in your words and that is the most important thing – determination and sounds like you got it. you are right about doing it for that grandbaby of yours – get through the vicodin which is probably the worst and than go for the booze which you have beat before.

382 Kitty Mom { 10.25.10 at 5:53 pm }

Whoops – something happenned and I guess I entered when I was still not finished – what I wanted to say Susan is that I will keep you in my prayers along with the others on here – we are all int his together, us addicts, and we can always use the moral support this site offers. Take care and good luck with your detox…I know it is difficult but it is doable…May God bless you in your struggle and your success…Love
Kitty Mom

383 testidoors { 10.28.10 at 5:30 pm }

i am new member

384 southern mom { 10.29.10 at 6:48 am }

Hi Susan,
We have several things in common, age, menopausal PMS, and vicodin & alcohol addictions. We also have differences that I can understand and relate to. I have teenage children, no grandkids, I don’t smoke anymore, but I did and quit when I had my first child, I was also addicted to cocaine and any kind of uppers I could find.
I went through a week of mind-numbing withdraws and I was doing good, I was thinking clearly, I got my zest for life back, my creativity that I thought was drug induced came back and I was really kicking it.
Then I had a major league set-back, my friend and addiction partner, the person that walked and talked me through every day had a relapse himself and I am no longer able to contact him. It really devastated me because he was the only one that knew what I was going through and stuck by me no matter what, he knew my history, even my husband doesn’t know what I was going through, he knew my fears, he felt my pain with me, he didn’t judge me, he just gave me the ear to listen the shoulder to cry on and the courage to beat these addiction devils.
So I went spiraling back and I am still using, I know it will take not getting any more pills to make me kick this again, but right now I am set, I can get my pills, drink to my hearts content and still walk around with the worst guilt and fear in the world. Guilt that I have let my family down AGAIN!! Fear of going through the withdraws again, it was 10 days of pure hell, then it was over. Fear, that I have done this so many times that at my age it is going to get worse, I have completely damaged my body, liver, stomach, brain cells, skin, muscle and bones.
Both of us are fighting an incredible battle and you have some extra issues on your plate, but I would like to be here for you.
I check in to this sight every couple days, let me know you feel like walking this line with a kindered soul.

385 Hadley { 11.01.10 at 10:30 pm }

This is a great site and an important source of encouragement in reading the posts – we are not alone in trying to get over additions. Susan – congrats on the sheer will power to say no matter what I am gonna get off this garbage! I feel the same way but it’s awful — as all of us dopeheads (for the time being) know. I got my hand smashed by a propeller about 3 1/2 months ago — nasty business. So, the doc gave me Vicodin. Great stuff but then I needed more of it to alleviate the pain of my injury. As my hand healed some, I said, “Why take this stuff?” So I quit cold turkey, basically – now I know what hell is. I had never been addicted to this stuff or anything else and had no idea what WD is? I found out and really empathize with everyone. More or less, it is the same for all what we suffer. The RLS and no sleep are the worst for me. I am in day 3 of WD and the symptoms have kicked in per above including the runs. We just have to stick it out. You have to no matter how bad you feel. Everyone who does says that it will get better! I had no idea what to do and things got so bad I thought, Google Vicodin WD and here I am. Great site – I weep for you, Susan — keep up the great work! You can do it! Don’t lose hope and be patient. I want to add that the hot tub saved my skin — it is the only relief I get from the RLS and aches — muscles, bones, and joints on fire. I am also going to start eating bananas like crazy. I already take vitamins and stuff. Good luck to all of you who want to ditch this stuff — I am so sorry for those who have chronic pain. We can get through it….

386 jeff { 11.02.10 at 3:35 pm }

Hi i am jeff me and my buddy have been snorting vics for about a year or a little over we both want to quit and for the last 2 days we took it down to 3 so 1 and a half basically between both of us cause we snort them ,i did have pains last night through my arms and it sucked would you suggest we keep coming off them slowly or the cold turkey approach i really don’t know and will respect all feedback as i don’t even have the slightest clue in how to do this but i do think we started something cause we would normally do about 10 a night sometimes more and i did feel like i was feening for some ,so any info would be appreciated.Thanks

387 southern mom { 11.03.10 at 1:28 pm }

OK I am done with this web-site. I can see why no one wants to chime in, this room is only big enough for 4 and outsiders are, well, outsiders. Thankfully there are a few more support groups to help those of us going through a rough time.
Good luck and God bless

388 Holly { 11.04.10 at 8:01 am }

Hey everyone, I stumbled accross this site looking up the Thomas recipe. For those of you that feel you need a forum with more people, there is a great site called medhelp.org I have gotten lots of help there for my addictions. There’s a forum called addiction: substance abuse where you can post threads and get feedback from other addicts, many who’ve been in recovery a long time. There’s also pages for families of addicts and alcoholics and social pages. Just some info for ya! I wish you all the best in your recovery.

389 metoo { 11.04.10 at 4:47 pm }

Southernmom….This song will always be yours. I am here for you.


390 R.J. { 11.06.10 at 6:45 am }

I’ve been on 10mg Lortabs for about 3-4 years. I have a fractured L-4 vertabrea (broken back), along with a broken right ankle, broken keft foot, fractured scapula and 8 broken ribs I suffered from a fall 6 yrs ago. I’m 57 and suffer from chronic pain. My hips are really bad in the mornings. I just swallowed 10 Lortabs. I am an addict. I love the high but, I’m getting tired of it. The main reason I keep taking them is because I’m scared to death of the wd’s. There are so many :P ain Clinics out there who will give me whatever I want, because I have the paper work from the hospitals. These places are the worst! Nothing but dealears an addicts, such as myself. How do these doctors sleep at night? Anyway, I am tired of the dependancy but, I am in serious pain. Getting old sucks! I KNOW, if I can stop these meds, I will be better off with 800 mg IBs, or something but, I’m an addict and the Lortabs are so easy to get. I’m scared shitless to withdrawl again. Yes, I’ve done this before but, this is the worst I have ever been. I remember the last time I cold turkeyed. I was in bed with a heavy coat, shivering and, at the same time, I had a large fan next to my head to keep me cool. WOW. I have been throught the alcohol thing and can’t do that. I have a bad liver to boot! The Acetamenophen is killing me. I’m 6’4″ and weigh 180 lbs, soaking wet! I’m frightened and don’t want to check into rehab. I’m running out of my Lorcets and don’t have a Dr. appointment for 2 more weeks. I let them draw blood last visit. I’m sure they will cut me off the Lortabs, etc. What’s next?



391 southern mom { 11.09.10 at 3:08 pm }

Hey RJ
You are having a rough go at it. However, the more of the pain meds you take, the more addicted you get and the more damage you do to your body.
I agree the withdraws totally suck! I have also gone through them several times. You have serious medical needs and there are alternatives out there too. You mentioned rehab, they can help you through the withdraws but they can also help you find alternatives to pain meds like accupunture, herbal remedies and hypnosis. I don’t know if any of them work, but I have read a lot about them and it might be a starting point for you.
Maybe you can start by tapering, using less and less each day, until you get to a point that aren’t using the pills and finding out what kind of pain you have and what alternatives you can use instead of the pills.
I have become a firm believer in prayer and God giving me all I need. Tonight I will pray for you, that you start getting your life back!!
Please check into other alternatives for you pain so the pills don’t rule your life and if you pray, pray that God takes over and guides on the path He has chosen for you. Remember that you are His child and He loves you unconditionally.
Stay in touch so we can all bring our thoughts, opinions and prayers your way.
Good luck and God Bless you!

392 crazy { 11.11.10 at 7:19 pm }

i do bout 5 0c 80s a day for 2 years and quit 3 days ago, using this formula it helps some but i know all your pain trust me, good luck to all

393 Jamie { 11.12.10 at 9:46 am }

Well, after reading a lot of these posts I feel like a wimp. I was always an anti-drug, anti-pain pill type person. The only meds I took were for my depression and later on my anxiety and panic disorder. I spent my life around horses and rodeo, rode bulls for a while, raced cars before that, so needless to say I know pain and have been through my fair share of it without ever taking more than tylenol or ibuprofen. But as fate would have it, I finally encountered a pain I couldn’t handle and it took me by surprise the amount of pain I would experience from getting a tooth pulled. So my first vicodin was taken. I took the prescription and managed to get my hands on more, then I realized that they were the best thing to help me with my severe anxiety and panic attacks. Now, coming from a family full of prescription pill abusers I always kept a close eye on myself and would not let myself take more than a couple vicodin in a day. But flash forward 2 years to today, still managed to keep myself in check with the two pill maximum, but that was 2 pills a day for 2 years. Sounds weak compared to everyone else’s stories, but my body is crazy like that, it doesn’t take much for me. So today marks my second day off of them, and the anxiety is killing me. I swear I just want to die or check myself into the nuthouse, because I just can’t take this feeling. I’m on Remeron for depression, Lexapro for anxiety, and Klonopin and Ativan for my panic/anxiety. I’ve tried the Klonopin and Ativan and it has offered no relief for this anxiety. I am experiencing nausea, but I can handle that so far. The Ativan did manage to let me sleep for a couple hours, but not enough for me.

Everyone knows that I take vicodin for my anxiety, so I have no secrets about it. I’m putting a list together for my fiancee to get me, going off this plan and other suggestions.

My question is, with 2 years on, but such a low amount, what should I expect? How long is this anxiety going to last?

Thanks to everyone for sharing.


394 Southern mom { 11.13.10 at 10:31 am }

Hi Jamie,
Thank you for your honest post. You said you feel like a wimp, but addiction doesn’t have an amount on it. If you are taking something everyday, you develope an addiction to it. The nausea you are feeling is probably withdraw symptoms, even taking the small amount of vicodins, your body still gets used to it and without it, the withdraws start and after going through the w/d several times, the nausea and body cramps are the worst.
The advice I can offer is what has worked for me in the past for withdraws. Sleep when you can, even if it’s only for a few hours here and there, I started taking tylenol pms and xanex just to sleep, for the cramps and nausea i live in hot bath and just soak until I become a human prune. Please make time in your schedule to self-indulgent for 4 days to a week. When you don’t have the guilt that you need to be out there doing …, you can relax and roll with it and do whatever it takes to make you feel better without the pills. My personal favorite is ice chips so when I start getting the heaves there is something there and I don’t dehydrate and by day 2 I crave banana popcicles for the flavor and hydration. When I can finally start keep water down I try to start the vitamin regiem, however, I I hate the aftertaste of the vitamins and need to be able to keep juices down to get ther.
After this it’s one day at a time. Don’t push it, when you feel like doing something, do it, when you need to rest, rest. Your body will tell you what it wants and when.
One final big step is to talk to God, I don’t know your religious background, but having a relationship with Him is important. We can go more into this if you want but for today, I hope I may have mentioned even one thing that will help you, and I also get the priviledge to add you to my prayer time.
Hope to hear back from you to see how you are doing.
in His Name

395 Jamie { 11.14.10 at 7:36 am }

Thank you, Southern Mom.

I made it 3 and a half days, using ativan and klonopin for the anxiety and to help me sleep. Managed to get in some good hours. But I can only manage to sleep during the day, and it’s being up all night alone that is the hard thing. But last night my body ached so I took a muscle relaxer(first time i ever took one) and slept for a few hours but when I woke up the anxiety and need for a pill was too much so I slipped up and took one little tiny piece of a broken one i had left in a bottle, probably about a quarter of a pill. Made me feel great physically, but mentally I got down on myself. Started the vitamins this morning and i think they gave me a killer headache. Been drinking gatorade and juice, my appetite isn’t that great but I’ve managed to keep stuff down for the most part. And the hot baths are helpful somewhat for my aching body.

My fiancee is understanding of my addiction, but he’s not understanding when it comes to my need to sleep when i can for as long as i can, and my need to stay occupied when i’m awake and can’t give him my undevided attention, and my need for isolation at times during this. I don’t want my problem to become everyone else’s problem. I got into this myself and while support of friends and family is nice and I’m grateful, it’s just not something I want them to see me go through mostly. So my relationship has its good and bad sides for what I’m going through. And then there’s my family who think that I don’t have a problem because I don’t take the amount of pills they do, and I couldn’t possibly be going through withdrawals. But I have some really great parents and really great friends who are keeping an eye on me and are understanding and supportive.

As for the religious thing, I was raised Protestant, my mom’s side of the family is southern Baptists, but I’ve never really been a church person. I have my beliefs. And my faith has been torn away at over the years. But if I do have a church it’s the outdoors, sitting on a pond with a fishing pole in my hand, communing with nature…that’s my peace and tranquility. Religion raises too many unanswered questions for me to go on blind faith. And in my own personal experiences, no offence to anyone else, most of the people I’ve known through church are hypocrites. So I may be going through a several year crisis of faith, but I’m sure I will find my way someday. It’s something you have to do on your own, you can be counseled and guided, but ultimately it’s up to each individual. I have an uncle in Missouri who was a reverend, believe me, they’ve tried to get me to church.

I’ve found my biggest comfort these last few days has been my nieces. They are 10 and 6, and when they are around, I’m focused on them and it tends to ease my stress of what i’m going through. But the hard thing is gonna be these next 5 days when I don’t get to see them while they’re in school. My dogs have also been a huge comfort, they have been by my side 24/7 since I started the withdrawal symptoms. They know something is not right with me and won’t leave my side. As soon as I feel I’m able, it’s gonna be long walks and playtime in the park for them.

I am so glad I found this site. It has helped me a lot. I apologize if I ramble too much or go off topic, but it’s just nice to get this all out and have people know what you’re going through. You can’t just go on Facebook and post this and hope to get any help. :)

Once again, thank you to everyone who has shared their stories. And thank you to Southern Mom, it was a major positive for me to come back on here and see that someone replied to my post. Thank you for your advice and prayers. We may end up discussing religion eventually. ;)

Maybe there’s hope…

396 Southern mom { 11.14.10 at 2:14 pm }

Hey Jamie,
WOW what an amazing post, never apologize for sharing that is what makes this web-site so special.
I really wanted to get back to you today just to let you know that there is no agenda with me about religion. I have a firm belief in God, but I have many issues about organized religion and the bible. so we can definitely talk about this.
Just got home from working the football game, but I promise to be back later or tomorrow so we can get together.
My prayers are for God’s ears and today they will be for you.

397 metoo { 11.15.10 at 12:32 pm }

Hey, Jamie…I have anxiety too. Let’s try to figure out by brainstorming what will help. It is a horrible thing~and vicodin isn’t the cure, but it sure helps in a pinch, doesn’t it??

Do you drink tea?? Do you take any herbal supplements, or believe in them?? Have you tried Kratom???
Even in your abuse, you treated vicodin with respect. I know that for me, and a bunch of people on the kratom forum, kratom helps. If it is anxiety that is at the heart of this addiction, it might be the answer for you. At least check it out, please.

I hate to sound like I’m pushing it, but it’s hard not to promote it when you think it could help. Also, have you tried melatonin for sleep?

Anxiety bites.

398 Southern mom { 11.15.10 at 2:23 pm }

I totally agree with metoo about the Kratom. She is the one that told me about it. At first I was worried about replacing one habit for another, but Kratom is NON-ADDICTIVE. When I have days that I can chill, I take the Kratom and it helps so much with so many emotional problems, anxiety and dression are the biggies. Even though I am still taking vicodin, I can days on the Kratom and feel just fine, in fact it is such a wonderful mellow feeling that I enjoy taking the time to just relax and not stress out stuff.
Metoo gave you the link and when you order it somes within days. It make take some time to figure out how much works for each individual, but if I take a couple every 4-5 hours, my day seems to float by, I am totally functional and even with teenagers in my house driving me crazy, I can roll with it.
It’s worth a try and it is also reassuring that you have support here and everyone has advice to share, you are not alone.
I pray that God Bless you today

399 Jamie { 11.16.10 at 8:42 am }

Thanks, metoo, I will look into the Kratom. I’ve never heard of it and I get curious and have to research stuff first. Sounds intriguing, I’m very wary on trying new things, but if this looks good and will help, I will definitely give it a try. And Southern Mom, thanks for the back up advice for metoo’s suggestion. Y’all are so helpful on here.

I was reading around this site and started reading about the endorphin deficiency thing, and a lot of that was like “wow, this is me.” I’ve been on anti-depressants since I was 15, so for over 17 years, and nothing has ever really worked and when I was younger it was different, it’s hard enough being a teenager without the added worry of depression. It wasn’t as bad then as it is now. But I was very active back then, I mentioned in my first post that I rode bulls, did the rodeo thing and raced, worked on ranches chasing cows and training horses. When I decided to settle down, my depression got worse and that’s when the anxiety and panic disorders started. I get really depressed when I look back at the person I was and compare her with the person I am now.

So now I’m wondering about this endorphin thing…Yeah, the vicodin sure does help with anxiety, but it also makes me feel normal. So does my body want it because it’s addicted to it, or because it provides me with something that my body’s lacking. I could just be grasping at things and I probably shouldn’t read so much, but you never know.

I’m feeling somewhat okay today. I’ve been on the vitamins for a few days now. Wasn’t able to find any L-Tyrosine. Hot baths are a comfort and also give me time to reflect. The Klonopin gets me a few hours sleep, and later on when I take the Ativan I get a few more hours sleep. Been having these strange pains though that feel like a tiny ball moving through my body, in my legs mostly. Don’t know what that is all about :/

I don’t have much of an appetite, but I’ve been craving curly fries from Jack in the Box and that has been most of my food intake the last couple of days. Curly Fries and bananas and of course chocolate. lol

My anxiety level is a lot lower than it was when I first posted on here. I think I got over that hump. Mainly now it’s just the aches and pains, and killer stomach cramps. And the argument with myself about needing another pill. So I’m just taking things an hour at a time.

Well, I’m off to do some more research. Thanks for the advice. :)

Hugs to metoo and Southern Mom

Happy Trails,

400 Kitty Mom { 11.16.10 at 2:00 pm }

Hey Jamie – I am (or was) a vicodin addict for many years and I too thought it made me feel normal and able to do things but toward the end I was at the point of only taking pills – going to work and not doing much else. I felt sick and like crap between doses and all I thought about was the next pill or running out of pills. I just wanted you to know that it gets better. I am past the two month point of sobriety from pills and I am the old person that I thought I would never be again…coming home and sprinting around doing things and not thinking about the pills any more. The first two weeks were the worst but I went back to work after the first week and it has been all up hill after that with the help of this site. I laughed when I read your post about the little balls – It sounds like you have the restless leg syndrone going on – and believe me that was the worst for me – that and the lack of sleep which was the last to come back. You can do it like you said – one hour at a time if you have to. Good luck and may God bless you in your struggle to be your true self.
Kratom is a natural plant that gives you opiate type feeling but is not addictive. I have taken it in the past, but not at the present time. Metoo has had great success with it though, and she would not steer you wrong.
Take Care and best wishes
Kitty Mom

401 Southern mom { 11.17.10 at 9:08 am }

Hi Jamie,
I read and re-read your posts several times. You seem to be a very energetic person, full of adrenelin, you crave to rush of the rodeo, the excitement the mental and physical challenges, then you “settled down” and your depression kicked in. Sounds to me like you are craving your very active life-style more than the pills. The pills make you feel good but they can’t replace the adrenelin rush!! I used to, and often still think I needed the vics to keep my energy level up, my mind-set was I could do more if I was high, then I went through over a month without the vics and I found that after the withdraws and the RLS (which is probably what the pain in your legs is all about) I actually had a great energy level without a vic, I liked the Kratom to take the edge off, to smooth out the feelings, but once I started feeling energized every morning I woke up early and couldn’t wait to get my day started, even making a breakfast at 6:00 for the family, hitting the gym, walking the dogs, and my head was clear. I was worried I would lose my creativity without the pills but instead I saw things clearer and even finished more projects and started new ones, I loved the thrill of doing something I loved every day. Do you think you might be missing that and that may be why you’re feeling the depression and anxiety??
Now as far as the appetite goes, I ate whatever I was craving, the body has a reason for wanting stuff and yours seems to want something starchy, salty and crunchy, I am wishing we had a Jack in the Box close by, I love those fries. I actually went to comfort food, I ate so much Chicken and Dumplings I though I was going to sprout feathers!! But eat what makes you happy, you deserve a break today :-)
These web-sites give me a full gamut of emotions, but I came here for support, non judgemental opinions, advice and commraderie and I hope I can bring that to you. You have a support system in place with your fiance and that’s a huge help. This is a pivital time in your life, so be kind to yourself, take help when you need it and let your healing begin.
We can stilll talk about the “God” thing some day when you want, and I will continue to pray for you.
In His Name

402 metoo { 11.17.10 at 9:37 am }

Hey, Jamie and Southernmom…I have to jump in here too! On the restless legs thing~~POTASSIUM supplements REALLY HELP. One way I liked to think of the RLS was that it was my body kicking the vics….the vics moving down and out of my legs, out to the tips of your toes, soon to be GONE FOREVER!!! I TRIED to actually welcome any RLS I got, and I actually prayed prayers of thanks for the RLS…showing me that vics would soon be a thing of the past. I usually would have one bad night with RLS, (before I knew about potassium…) and that would be it, because I wouldn’t pay it any more attention than my middle of the night prayer fest of thanksgiving that I would soon be free. And also, I looked at the RLS as paying a penance of sorts….I took the vics, and now it’s time to pay the piper. So I welcomed making that payment and having it be paid in full. Jamie, I know here that you don’t necessarily cling to your faith at this point in time, but I will tell you what….IF you cry out now, God is sure to hear you at this, perhaps your lowest point. You are one of God’s children, and He is waiting to give you the healing….(just my thoughts, I don’t want to offend you!!)

I don’t have a jack in the box here either. Poopie. :(

Better days are ahead!! Potassium to the people!! :D

403 Jamie { 11.17.10 at 11:49 am }

Okay, so I’m looking up the Kratom thing, but can’t decide which website is telling the truth. lol I am looking to buy some, but one says it’s the only trusted seller and then the other says it’s been proven to be real…blah blah blah. So my question is, is there a trusted website where y’all have purchased it? We may have every fast food place you can think of, but finding herbal remedies and healthfood stores is hard to do. And I live in California, you think it’d be easier to get that kind of thing here lol

Thank you, Kitty Mom. I love the support I am getting on here.

Southern Mom…I suffered from depression and slight anxiety when I was active. I failed to mention and I should have, that I drank a lot back then, so that was a coping mechanism and a way to mask my problems. I started drinking regularly at 15 and by 16 it was a daily thing, woke up craving a beer. Stopped drinking at 20, and that’s when I settled down. Lost my best friend/boyfriend at 22, and that’s when my problems got worse. I also have a family history of major depression, my mom has been battling it most of her life, my grandma too. So I’ve got heredity, post traumatic stress, a different less active lifestyle all adding to the problem. But I’m coming to the realization that I need to be more active.

There was a time when I was doing really well in the depression and anxiety department and I’ll tell you this little story. I was really down at the time, my mom had just gone through and beaten breast cancer and I was emotionally and mentally spent. My cousin came to me one day with this year old dog and asked if I wanted her, said she was going to take her to the pound. I was living with my parents at the time, so I had to get permission, my dad said “we can give her a try.” So I rescued this adorable red girl from certain death. And after having her a few weeks and really falling in love with her, I decided one day that it’s not fair to have a dog cooped up in a house all day long, so I set my mind to take her walking every day. This was a very hard thing for me, because with my anxiety and panic attacks at that point I hardly left my house. I guess you can add agoraphobia in there. But one day I grabbed the leash and took her out, we didn’t go very far, but we went every day, and every day I went a little further. After about 4 months I was walking at least 2 miles a day. Walked all over town, walked to do my errands. Started driving again, as long as I had my girl Candy with me I was fine. But in ’07 my grandfather was diagnosed with an untreatable cancer and I spent a year watching him slowly decline until he passed away. And at the beginning of his struggle I found myself back to square one with my anxiety and depression. I know in my heart that that dog was sent to me for a reason. She’s my angel. I may have saved her from the pound, but she saved my life. And she still does every day, when I look at her it gives me hope and I know that I have the power to do what I think I can’t do. It’s just getting myself to do it that’s the problem. lol Uplifting story of the day for me, I feel good telling that story about how she helped me. Pets have tremendous power in our lives. And she’s still by my side making sure I’m okay as I go through this struggle. Six years we’ve been together, and I would sooner part with my fiance than her hahaha.

Metoo, that’s a really great way to think of the restless leg thing. I’ve been eating a lot of bananas for the potassium. Just so happens that my favorite thing for breakfast is a banana, so my man bought me a bunch when he went out and bought me the things for this Thomas recipe. So I eat me some bananas in the morning when I take the vitamins.

I’m feeling lousy today, tired and just, well lazy. Spent half of yesterday on the phone with my meth addicted cousin. I’m trying to help her, but if you’ve ever dealt with a meth addict before, you know that it takes at least 2 hours to just get an answer to ‘How are you doing?’ Basically, after hours upon hours of discussion I left her with the advice of ‘you have to look out for number one, and if you want to get better that’s yourself’ Which is what I’m telling myself at this time. I can’y worry about anyone else, I need to focus on myself. I would love to be able to help her more, but taking in a person trying to kick meth would only raise problems with my own recovery. And it kinda sucks, because I’m a very family oriented person. If I love you, I’m there for you one hundred percent, but for my own sake I can’t do it this time. And I should not feel guilty for looking out for myself!

Well, my little red angel is staring at me expectantly, so I’m thinking she needs to go out. Thank you everyone for your advice and continued support. I truly appreciate you all.


404 metoo { 11.17.10 at 12:07 pm }

This is where I would start with kratom. I love the enhanced bali here, but you’ll want to start with commercial bali…


Enter this coupon code to save 5%:


I won’t ever steer you wrong, Jamie. This will help the anxiety and depression. Let me know how it goes!!!! I’m here for yoU!

405 metoo { 11.17.10 at 12:15 pm }

K..I wanted to get that web address up, and now I’ve finished reading the rest of your post, Jamie! What a great story about Candy. I agree with you 100%!!!!! Pets are angels…

And about the potassium…yes, bananas are a great source of potassium, BUT GET A SUPPLEMENT!!!!! Then take a few of them a day. There is like a gazillion more mgs in the supplement. You’d have to eat a LOT of bananas to help as much as the supplements do, so PLEASE go take Candy for a walk and buy some potassium pills. You’ll be glad you did….

You deserve to be selfish right now, Jamie. Sometimes all the drama out there just clutters your own determination, and you need to feel determined and uncluttered for these days. THEN when you are free, you can help someone else…again, just my view…I often found myself in much the same situations!! Take care of you, kiddo!! Be well, and post again soon!! :)

406 Southern mom { 11.17.10 at 1:29 pm }

I don’t think I need to post anything else, Metoo said it all.
Pottassium, supplements
Taking care of YOU!
Having a companion like Red. Looks at you with those eyes, all that unconditional love… “Just walk me, feed me, snuggle me” The best love you can find!
Jamie, you are so on the right path, you know what you need to do and you are taking all the steps to make that happen. It only gets better from here, each day gets better. Just take it “one day at a time” (I hate to sound so cliche) but that is all it is about.
You want to make your life better.
You want to quit using drugs as a crutch.
You want to live a happy fulfilling life.
Now all you have to do is put all that “want” into action and you are surrounded by the stepping stones to get there, your fiance and Candy, and all of us on this board who WANT you to make it!!
I am still over here praying for you, and I always will, I promise!
In His Name

407 Jamie { 11.17.10 at 1:41 pm }

Thanks, Metoo, for the address!

Well, positive for today…even though I didn’t feel all that great, after posting that story about Candy I got motivated to push through that crappy feeling and take my dogs for a walk. So off we went to the park and when I let my pup Jessi off leash in the park for the first time ever she just ran and ran in big circles and was so happy rolling in the grass. Candy’s getting older now so she only did a couple laps and came back to me. But watching those girls run and have the time of their life just made me feel so good and happy.

So once again, I love this site! Aside from all the wonderful support and advice I get, I end up helping myself with my own post :)

What a great feeling I have now as I say goodbye for now and go to take a nap with my worn out dogs.

Oh and adding potassium to the shopping list!

408 metoo { 11.17.10 at 1:50 pm }

YES!!!! Great job today, Jamie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get some nice tea too…hee hee!! Works great to kick kratom into action~~heat activates alkaloids!! ROCK ON!!! :D

409 Kitty Mom { 11.17.10 at 6:42 pm }

Jamie – Kitty Mom here wishing you the very best of days to come. Sounds like you are doing better each day – getting out with those pups is the best thing you can do and puts a smile back on your face…you will be surprised how each day you get a little more of your old self back and start enjoying all kinds of things again. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I am very glad to have met you.

410 Jamie { 11.18.10 at 1:37 am }

One more question, metoo, what kind do you recommend I buy?


411 Metoo { 11.18.10 at 6:55 am }

Hey, J…what kind of kratom? I would say commercial bali. From there, you have to decide….if you think you can do a toss n wash or if you want capsules…. Either way is good, it’s just your preference. It can be a bit unfun to take. I’d go with capsules. For now. But you’re going to need a lot of them. I would buy at least 100 to start…
Let me know what you do!! Or, too, you can email me.
Whatever you are comfortable with! We’ll get you through this, all of us together!!!!

412 Southern mom { 11.18.10 at 7:18 am }

Hi Jamie and anyone else out there in addict land (sorry, bad joke) Jamie, I take the Maeng Da Thai Kratom, this capsules are kind of big and hard to swallow and don’t take 2 at a time, they get stuck together and you choke (yes this a lesson I learned the hard way)
OK, I need to share. I have an 18 year old son who is driving me crazy and I took his car keys away the other day for breaking curfew (house rules). Well I hid them real good because I couldn’t find them 2 days later (still can’t find the darn things) so I gave him the only spare set. Soooo this morning he locks his the spare keys in his trunk and needs to get to school. I was taking my daughter and her friends to school when he calls all hysterical about the other set, where are they??? I need thme now!!! I try to explain I don’t remember (yes it was the pills and the booze and being over 50 I have CRS can’t remember shit , thanks for the acronym Metoo) so I tell him to get his dad up and see if he can help, I was thinking that they could pop the lock… I don’t know my husband knows all about that stuff, instead they go on a total tear the house apart search for the keys and guess what they found instead?? My stash!!! When the hubbie calls to tell me whats he found (Jamie, being new to the site you probably don’t know that my husband has no idea I’m an addict.). My heart fell into my stomach, he was so angry, I had a car full of kids and couldn’t talk. So when I get the nerve to call him back I am a complete mess, after the anger, I had to tell him the truth, the WHOLE truth start to finish, but I also included my plan to quit hoping it would help.
Then something truly remarkable happened, he forgave me!!! I showed him the steps I’ve been taking to quit and even my deadline plan and he promised to help me. What in the world did I ever do to deserve a man like this???
So… I am still in shock, he said he is going to help me through this, he said he’d be there for me every step of the way. He asked if I wanted to go to rehab, or a doctor and I told him that I did 23 days without that kind of help before, then something rocked my world and I started again. So he is going to help me taper, so I can’t abuse the vics, and he said he would do what it takes to get us through this. I am crying so hard right now I can’t see the keys.
So, I have my best friend helping me, he knows everything, even when I stole his pills between my Dr. visits, he also knows that this scrip is the last one, my Dr. cut me off and when they’re gone, I will get sober and clean. I was so afraid of having to go through it alone, yes this web-site is life-saving but now I have someone here who I can’t lie to anymore and promised to hold my hair back when the nausea starts and draw my baths when the cramps start and I won’t have to lie and say I have the flu AGAIN!! I can dtox, at home with support.
I thanked God for giving me my husband 18 years ago and have thanked him a hundred times for things he does for me, but now I know that God must really love me, to send me a man who put up all of crap and still love me. I can’t even love myself right now, but he does.
So all you praying folks out there, thank you! And if I could ask that you keep praying for my husband, I know this devastated him and he is going to need all the help God can give to stay married to me and not hate me. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who is so wonderful in so many ways.
Now I need to tell my son, because he was here when it happened this morning and he is not dumb!!!

413 metoo { 11.18.10 at 8:27 am }

WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! Ok, I have to go absorb this for a little bit. OMG!!!!!! WOW.


414 Jamie { 11.18.10 at 11:56 am }

Okay, first off I just gotta say that this must be the day for tests. Because I have had me one stressfull doozy of a morning. But before I tell you my story, Southern Mom, wow, I know that had to be seriously nerve wracking for you, but don’t you feel better now that it’s not a secret anymore? I know how hard it is to tell someone I’m an addict, I had to tell my grandma just the other day about what I was going through. She had no idea. But it just feels better when everyone knows, but I do sometimes feel like I have too many eyes on me, but that’s a good thing too because they’re caring eyes. I am so, so glad that your husband will be supportive of you. I truly wish for him to have patience and understanding as he helps you through your fight. You have been such a help to me, you all have and I only wish good things for you. If I had that religious thing under control, I’d throw prayers your way, but you get my wishes, which when you really think about it is the same thing. lol I hope that your children take the news easily. I grew up with an alcoholic and at one time drug addicted dad, but I knew about his problems. So I can tell you that knowing your parent is an addict isn’t an easy thing, but my dad’s addictions never affected my life negatively. He was a regular dad, went to work every day and came home every night. So if you have a teenager and he’s never realized you had a problem before, I can’t see it being too much of a problem in the long run, that’s just from my point of view. I don’t know your son or how he will react, I can just tell you how I would have reacted had that kind of news been laid on me at that age. But then again I grew up around drug addicts so my sensitivity to the seriousness of the issue could have been numbed. But your kids love you no matter what you do and what they say or do, just remember that. The bond between a mother and child is the strongest bond there is. He may get upset or angry or both, but he will still love you. Super hugs to you and your family.

Okay now onto my morning…I felt really shitty this morning and was debating on taking my dogs out for a walk. I finally just decided to push past that feeling and take them anyway. So at about 8am I started out the door to the park at the end of the street about 3 blocks away. I get to the park and let my girls run around like always. They were doing laps and sniffing around the grass, I was watching them and I noticed them all of a sudden become really alert looking behind me, and my pup Jessi(a chihuahua) takes off running past me, Candy not far behind. I turned aroun and saw these two big boxer dogs making a beeline for my girls and they had an evil look in their eye. Before it even sank in all the way what was happening they were on my pup. Candy being the super wonderful life saver she is protected her. So I was trying like hell to get my dogs back on the leash and get out of there, but I could only manage to get Candy to come back to me. They had Jess on the run. So after about 5 minutes of running and chasing and near misses and my stomach dropping every time they jumped at her, I finally managed to get close enough to her to get her on her leash. I got them gathered up close to me and started walking back to my house. Well, these vicious dogs would not give up. They kept trying to get to Jess who was in between me and Candy, but Candy wouldn’t let them get to her or me. At one point one of them got tired of Candy’s protective behavior and jumped on her, but she jumped right back on him. I yelled and they stopped and then I swung the end of the leash at that one trying to shoo it away, but that only made it more vicious and it ran around to the other side of me where there was no dog and went after me. Came about 2 inches from biting me, but there was good ol’ Candy again blocking him. At that point I decided it would be a good idea to carry the pup, but every time I tried to reach down to grab her, they would come after me. So it was a long and stressful fight the whole way back to my house. I was yelling as I got closer to my house because I knew my dad was in the garage. He didn’t come out til I got right in front of my house. I handed him the dogs and he took them inside. I grabbed my phone and called the police. I went back outside because I was gonna try to catch them or at least trail them til animal control could get to them, but even without my dogs they were coming after me. So after dealing with the fucking animal control, bunch of morons, I came in and checked my dogs. Amazingly neither was hurt. Candy had boxer slobber all over her back. I came in the house and sat on the couch to text my fiancee and realized then that I was shaking soo bad I could hardly hit the right buttons on my phone. Took me forever to send a 4 word text. So here I am going on 4 hours since this happened and I still haven’t calmed down all the way. After I had calmed down a little and the adrenaline was wearing off I thought to myself “Oh man could I ever really use a pill!” But I have none, so no chance of slipping up and taking one. Once again I am so in awe of what a wonderful dog Candy is. She kept her cool, didn’t try to fight them, just did her job protecting me and her little sister. And once again she saved my life. She got a lot of jerky treats this morning and tons of loving. I’m still loving on her every minutes telling her how great she is lol

Thanks again, Metoo, for the advice. As soon as I can focus for more than a minute. I’m going to order some Kratom. All this took me forever to type. I’m frazzled at the moment.

Big hugs to everyone and wishes for a better day tomorrow.

415 Jamie { 11.18.10 at 11:57 am }

Oh forgot to mention the links are pix of Candy! The super dog!

416 Kitty Mom { 11.18.10 at 1:59 pm }

Wow Awesome Southern Mom – God is answering prayers – maybe not in the way you expected – but answering none the less. My husband knew I was going through withdrawals and it made it sooooo much better not to have to hide it….It will be so much better for you this way…God Bless you and your hubby in the journey you will now take together and you will not be alone.
Kitty Mom

417 Jamie { 11.19.10 at 6:48 am }

Apparently my post is awaiting moderation…. : /

418 metoo { 11.19.10 at 10:31 am }

There’s been a lot of that going around, JameCat!!! :( lol!!
How are you doing??

419 Southern mom { 11.19.10 at 10:57 am }

HI all;
KM thank you for your kind words. At first I didn’t think what was happening as a blessing but in retrospect, you are right. Thank you for your prayers.
I hope you a fantastic birthday and that God Blesses your special day!
Jamie, the posting thing happens at times, I don’t know why, but we are still here and are still praying.
Metoo, you amaze me! Tahnk you for bing you!

420 Jamie { 11.19.10 at 11:11 am }

I’m recuperating from yesterday’s extreme drama, which I wrote all about in the awaiting moderation post lol. When that posts you can read the whole story, but short version, I took my girls for a walk yesterday morning and we were attacked by two vicious boxers. It was quite an ordeal. I thought my puppy was a goner. But my superdog Candy saved my life again and her little sister’s life. Well, I can say I wanted a pill after all of that real bad. But after it taking me several hours to calm down, and by the time I was able to relax I was exhausted so I went to sleep and slept for almost 8 hours. No vicodin taken. So an extreme amount of stress and fear for your life and your babies lives really wears you out.

But today came around and bit me in the ass, I woke up with this KILLER toothache. and after taking every thing I could possibly think of to dull the pain, I ended up taking a vicodin, and I really didn’t want to, I was just in that much pain. So that’s a step back but it’s also progress I guess, seeing as how I didn’t really want to take the damn thing.

I purchased some Kratom this morning from the website you recommended. Dont have much money to spend at the moment, but I bought small amounts of the powder, leaf and capsule versions. When it gets here, you get to tell me how to use it lol Or does it come with a set of instructions? haha

The other day when I had my first slip up and took a pill at around day 3 or 4, don’t remember. Anyway, I felt so bad and guilty for messing up, but I had to talk myself out of my bad feelings, everyone makes mistakes. And cold turkey is rough. But today, because I was actually in bad pain when I took one, I don’t feel as guilty. Maybe because I was actually using it for it’s intended use and not for my anxiety issue that i used it for before.

But yeah, that dog attack thing, was really not what I needed to happen at this point in my struggle. But I made it through, so maybe it really was what I needed and I just don’t know it yet.

Hoping to get my niece tonight for the weekend, so should be a happy one.

How are you doing?

How is everyone doing?

Southern Mom? Hope everything is going easy for you.

Off to hug my dogs some more…
Post at ya’all later
:) Jamie

421 Jamie { 11.19.10 at 8:16 pm }

The wait for moderation is over, so if ya want to read that post about what happened to me Thursday morning you can :)

422 Jamie { 11.20.10 at 1:10 pm }

Well, going good today for the most part. Got my niece here for the weekend and she always lifts my spirits. Trying to fight through the pain that this damn tooth is giving me, without again resorting to vicodin. I think it’s infected though, I just have that feeling. I’m gonna end up at the ER if this pain and accompaning nausea gets any worse. So fingers crossed, I can get through this without having to go to the ER, or taking any vix.

I was telling my mom earlier that doesn’t it just suck that I go through the withdrawals and finally get my mind on the path that I DO NOT WANT to take anymore pills and have something like this pop up on me. It’s a test, everything is a test.

Southern Mom, my thoughts are with you. You’ve been such a huge help to me, that I hope I can be a help to you as well. If you or anyone else ever wants to chat with me off this board, you can email me at newland5x@aol.com. I am always here to listen at the least, and offer advice and support when I can.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!


423 Metoo { 11.20.10 at 5:33 pm }

Tough it out, Jamie…You CAN DO THIS. It seems to me that you are doing very well, so you just stay tough, stay strong, and keep that JameCat focus!!!! Keep looking at this as a test and YOU WILL PASS!!! :D

424 Southern mom { 11.21.10 at 7:28 am }

Hi Jamie,
I can relate to tooth pain, you are right it toally sucks and it effects every part of your life because you need to eat, drink, breathe, talk and when your in tooth pain even a cough or a sneeze can send shooting pains. I had quite a bit of dental work in the past year, The DDS gave me something other than vics and it just made me sleepy, still in pain and sleepy, even trying to have a martini sent me climbing up the wall, so I took a friends advice and actually chewed an aspirin and it really helped with pain in my teeth, tasted like crap but at least it soothed the mind-numbing pain.
You are a very lucky lady to have your mom on the battlefield with you too, having that kind of support is priceless!!!
I went back and re-read your posts about what happened with your dogs, (I don’t know how I missed that??) That had to be so scary for you, I am a true animal lovers and if anything even close to what happened to you and your babies I would loose it!! I am amazed at your strength and keeping your wits about you through that ordeal. Are your doggies OK now?
Thank you for sharing your e-mail address and I will take you up on that offer to visit you there if I can get through Thanksging day number 1 today! I am going to be a cow by next weekend, we have a total of 4 whole days of family and turkey, eveyone doing something fabulous and I fill in the blanks and bring what is missing, this year we were assigned fried turkeys x6!! Thank God my husband loves doing that part, I just dread the clean up already!!
I’ll check in with you tomorrow, Oh I just remembered I also bought Ora-gel and it numbed the whole tooth and gum, it’s worth a shot!! And if you think that the nerve might be expose get some dental wax and mold (the kind for braces) and mold it over the tooth until you can get to your DDS.
God bless you al today, I didn’t get to church I am singing my head of to my ipod and starting turkey #1.

425 The Cheeta { 11.27.10 at 7:43 pm }

Before I try that. How did you react to that. Is it possible to get hooked on any if those other drugs that are suppose to be helping the withdraws? Ooh and that pill called konoplin is that an anxiety pill?

426 Snoman { 11.29.10 at 3:50 pm }

Hi all,
Well, I posted back in Aug, kicked the habit cold turkey for over a month… Then like an idot, I took one for a migraine and I was hooked instantly. I’ve been popping up to 4-7.5 vicodins a day. But I stopped 2 days ago. So, having been through this before I now know what to expect. It’s going to suck, I’m gonna be sick, depressed, and sleepless. But once again. I can’t keep taking more and more. I’ll keep you all up to date as I go. I’m away from home on business so it’s going to be even worse then before. But I keep thinking that the worse it is then maybe that will keep me off them next time. Wish me luck folks.

427 Southern mom { 11.29.10 at 4:40 pm }

Snoman, not only do I wish you luck, I am going to pray my socks off for you! I am doing the tapering thing and I haven’t gotten sick yet, and I know exactly how you feel, withdrawls totally suck! I am trying to do this slowly one day at a time so I don’t get sick. Today I was really nervous and I kept thinking I need a pill, I need a pill and I was able to get through it without the pills, but I had a very strong and inspirational friend with me that made it easier.
So maybe if you just think that we are all here for you, praying for you, you can do it too.
Please keep us posted. I know I want to get clean and it helps me to hear your words and know that I’m not alone and that there is hope. And the BIGGIE, God loves us, and He will be there with us every step of the way.

428 Kitty Mom { 11.29.10 at 6:28 pm }

Snoman – I know it is hard knowing about withdrawals after you have gone through it before, but take one time increment at a time whether it be a day, an hour, or a minute and you will get there again. Those dam pills just don’t want to let you go sometime but if you have the desire that is the biggest battle won. I have been coming here every day for three months now and I would not have been able to get clean without these people on here that have become my friends. So if nothing else, come here each day and hear our tales and see that we want you here and that we are praying for you and you will overcome. The Thomas Recipe reallly helped me through the first week and then after that week was over, the only thing left to overcome was the sleeplessness and that was a bitch, but YOU WILL return to normal….been there done it and it is possible. I will add you to my prayer list – please come back snoman.
Love and prayers
Kitty Mom

429 imNObetter { 11.29.10 at 6:59 pm }

HellO everyone, how are you? I am here bc I have an addiction with Vics and Perks. I am currently on night 3 without anything, I almost caved earlier today, but I took Nyquil and knocked myself out. I want to be clean and stay clean, but its tough!! This my 4th attempt in the past 3 years. Let me tell you @ $4 per pill, I have blown more $ than I can afford. March my last parent/family member passed away (I’m only 26) well as soon as my father passed, I stole his full bottle of vics and went hard all summer. Before my dad passed, I was clean for 5 months. I’m used to feeling like shit during wd but I’m so scared of relapsing. I’m finishing up this semester in college and I’m so nervous I’m going to fail from falling behind.

I am also scared of life ( I was always such a fun person but the opiates made me mask my boring life. I’m getting fatigued but I will post more soon. Its so nice not to feel alone… I have read posts for the past 3 days and you guys are so Inspiring!!!

We can do this Friend!!

430 Kitty Mom { 11.30.10 at 1:54 am }

Dear Imnobetter. Please to do not feel alone in this. You have found a place where people know what you are going through and are here to listen and help. You CAN do this because many of us on here are testimony that although it is hard, if you have the desire and are sick and tired of the not so merry-go-round of addiction, it IS possible. I will keep you in my prayers. Put your problems in the big strong hands of God and give over your addiction to Him. Keep on posting “no better” and let us know how you are coming along because you see that is part of our survival plan – one more day without pills – and trying to help others in the same boat as we are in. You have the choice each day to decide – no pills. God bless you.
Kitty Mom

431 Xpopper { 11.30.10 at 2:12 am }

Hey guys I have been reading threw these posts for hours now I am in the middle of my second night withdrawing from a 3 year battle with pills I would take anywhere from 8 Roxie 30s a day or 14 10mg vikes a day and I am just feeling horrible last night I was able to sleep but it is no 500 am and not shut eye my body hurts and I can’t stop thinking about getting high I actually have dreams of finding pills but never seem to eat them lol. Idk just reaching out cause I can’t tell my family they will kill me but hope to hear from some of u and how ur battle is going as I fight mine head on!!!!!

432 imNObetter { 11.30.10 at 3:00 am }

Thank you Kitty mom, I really appreciate the kind words. You all have already been in my prayers. Its funny how you can feel closer to a bunch of strangers than my own family in this situation. I’m not a pot smoker @ all but lastnight I got a little to help me relax along with kolotopin (?) And I must say I slept like a baby. (First night in a few days) Today is day 4, and I’m anticipating it will be a bit easier. I find with wd, Day 3 is by far the worse. I did get some fresh air yesterday and the few minutes my body could handle the cold felt invigorating. I am determined this time to beat the devil for me, not for anyone else (like before), I still do feel the guilt of blowing about 40grand of my life insurance $ on those thing since March 2010. I really hurt my family financially :( I’m ashamed of that. I’m suppossed to start a new job Friday but I’m scared. I’ve been a stay @ home mom and care taker for my dad for the past 2 years. Do you guys think I’m ready and especially to work with the public. I’m not so sure, I feel the social pressure so soon will make me relapse. Please give advice :/ How is everyone else doing and your progress against this viscous cycle???

433 imNObetter { 11.30.10 at 3:07 am }

I also want to say that this support group has been keeping me going strong. You guys rock!!! I can’t wait for the day when we can all say the ball and chain whether physically or emotionally is NO LONGER THERE!! And our wisdom can keep on helping others through their time of need =)

434 Southern mom { 11.30.10 at 7:22 am }

Hi imNobetter,
You HAVE come to the right place for advice, guidance and acceptance with no strings attached.
I understand your aprehension about getting a job “out there” but I have realized that the busier I am the less time I have to think about those damn pills or worry about getting more pills or dreading the withdrawl symptoms. I don’t even have to do that much, just little things to keep my mind active.
Taking a walk with my dogs, going to the gym and doing as much as my body will let me, I even got a huge kick out of going through a junk drawer that I hadn’t cleaned out in over 10 years, the stuff I stuck in there just cracked me up!! Why would I save 1 birthday candle???
You also have to stop beating yourself up about the money, that was the addict who spent that and that’s NOT the real you!!
And, everyone feels that are someone else when their high on opiates, I was always thinking that no one would like me if I wasn’t high and being the life of the party, hell I didn’t even think I would like myself, but I am at the pinnacle of kicking this addiction and I have found that I like myself even more when I’m straight, I am just not all wound up, I’m calmer and life seems easier when I don’t have the carry the burden of hiding my nasty little habit.
I have also found that giving everything up to God, releases my anxiety of being a fuck-up. He forgives us, it doesn’t matter what we do He loves unconditionally, we are His children and He is the kindest most generous Father. Even if you’re not the praying type sometimes it’s just nice to know that there is soomeone out the that loves you no matter what you do!!! That’s huge!!!
So I have added you to my prayer chain, and practically everyone else on this site prays too, today we can all pray for you!
We are here whenever you need us!

435 imNObetter { 11.30.10 at 9:09 am }

Thank you SouthernMom, I appreciate you writing to me. I am a God fearing woman, I just hate always asking him for things when I’m in need. I just feel ashamed, even in front of our Father. I do pray though. How long has it been since you have been clean? This is only Day 4 for me but I feel pretty good. Significantly better than yesterday. I really want to beat the devil for the 4th and final time. Its amazing how a few pills turn your life upside down. I always took them for depression, I loved them. Made straight A’s in college, had loads of energy but as the years passed that changed and was just the opposite. I tried the suboxone the last time I attempted to quit, but a week after I quit that I went right back to the pills. I’ve never been ruled like this before :(

436 Southern mom { 11.30.10 at 11:06 am }

Hi inBetter (I like the better part of your name the best)
I would love to tell you I’m clean, but I have been an addict for over 10 years and I have gone through withdrawls at least once or twice every year, I kept thinking I had the flu!!!
Right now I am in the tapering stage, I am trying to avoid all the down-time it takes to detox, I hate letting my family down when I am unable to even leave my bed for over a week at a time unless I am pruning myself in the tub. I can’t do it to them again. This time my husband is helping me so I am being held accountable to how many pills I can take each day, my goal is to be done by Christmas (that’s all I am asking for from Santa :-)
I did get 23 days at one point but life kicked my butt and I went right back to the pills.
I must say God already had a plan for me, my suppliers were drying up, my husband found my stash and I had to tell him everything (10 years of lies) so now I letting Him take control and He is giving me so much to be thankful for lately, I feel His love like it’s huge warm arms wrapped around me, forgiving me and blessing me daily, I often feel really unworthy but our Father is the most loving and caring Father and no matter how many times we mess stuff up, He still loves us, forgives us, dusts us off and sets us on His path again. You are so lucky you have a relationship with Him, I just have a question, are you a Catholic?
If so I will explain why I would like to know, if you prefer not to share, that is also fine, just coming here and opening up is a gift to me and I am glad we can have this, together.

437 imNObetter { 11.30.10 at 11:25 am }

Its ok southern mom, you’re trying and that’s all that counts. It is a son of a b$tch!! Its so defeating when you go so long and then go right back. My husband knows, but disapproves. He is very supportive though. He finally gets it. I look at it as if our husbands really love us they will be there in our darkest time. Yours obviously loves you very much!! <3 its funny that you ask if I'm catholic. I was baptized luthern but attended catholic schools. I am going to convert next year. Why do you ask?
I'm feeling better today (except the bowel movements have started) yuck! I'm also a little antsy, but I'm trying to get my xanax refilled. That will help. What's funny is I have been on xanax for years and have quit them cold turkey without any problems like withdrawl, why is that!?! They say its usually worse :/ I don't know. You don't know how thankful I am to be a part of this group, its invigorating! I even told my supplier off today. What better way to quit than to burn your bridges (haha) she really drug me through the mud yesterday when I asked for some. I'm so glad though that I didn't relapse. One thing I will miss is feeling on top of the world… Doctors need to find something else for pain because after reading everyone's stories, we've all got hooked from first a doctor :( can't wait to hear back!!

438 Southern mom { 11.30.10 at 1:50 pm }

Hey Better!
You are very right, we are so lucky to have husbands that us enough to go through this with us. I have asked myself if I would have been there for him if he did what I did, and I don’t think I would, that flippin’ sucks!
OK the Catholic thing is the words you used “God fearing”. I was raised Catholic and I think they have the market on guilt trips and Fearing God was one way for them have control. When i gave that whole Cathlosism up and became a Christian, the first thing I learned and loved was to love God, to embrace God, to talk to him like He is sitting right there next to me. I didn’t need to go to confessions to talk to some guy that decided to become a priest at one point in his life and to think he gets to judge me, make me serve penance… This priest is supposed to counsel others about marriage, children sex, etc, nothing they have ANY experience in (unless they are molesting altar boys). So I RAN away from all that and now I enjoy my relationship with LOVING FATHER, I have no reason to fear him because He loves me no matter what I do. (OK climbing down off that huge soapbox now… sorry)
OK as far as the bathroom thing goes, they do reccommend you try Immodiam (sp?) for diarhea (sp?)
As far as the xanex, when I was going through the ad I took it to sleep but when I was over it, I never had to take them again, so I don’t really know how addictive they are.
I too am out of Dr.s that give me the pills, I was on last scrips and I can’t and even don’t want to try to find another sourse, I just want to get through this last time and to get my act together for good.
I do know that I am not alone and this site is and has been saving my life! I hope it does the same for you!
Prayers coming your way, with NO FEAR!!!

439 Snoman { 11.30.10 at 2:10 pm }

1st let me say Thanks to Southern mom and kitty mom for your prayers, and everyone else on here that posts their story. It does help ME to know that there are other who know what im going through. Well, end of day 3 and as I thought, no sleep last night and RLS too. Then I sat in meetings all day with RLS and just being all around pissy. But that being said I know that after day 4 for me it usually gets better…. So I’m SO close to the end I hope. Tonight I’m gonna hit the Tylenol pm and pray for sleep. Being alone in a hotel room at night is driving me CRAZY…. But I look at it as Rehab… Me and my thoughts. I think about how happy i used to be BEFORE I started to use. And how proud I was when I kicked it the 1st time. I know my wife is at home pulling for me too.. I can’t wait to get home after 10 days and have her see the real me again… Not the popper I left as…I have to find a way to stay clean this time… This yo-yo effect is not good for your soul. I know I can find other ways to control the pain… But the trap of the little white devils is hard to steer clear of… Well enough babbeling … Just needed to say it out loud.. Thanks again and keep fighting… We all know it’s worth getting clean..

440 imNObetter { 11.30.10 at 2:40 pm }

I do understand what you are saying about being Catholic and not fearing God. I lived in Texas for a few years and been to some great Baptists churches. I’m not scared of God like that, I just feel as though I’m always asking for something instead of giving something…. I wish I could get past the psychological part, that is by the HARDEST!! But I am DETERMINED, I just don’t think I’m going to be able to start a new job friday and then next week is finals. TOO MUCH all @ once!!! Feeling a little tired, I will be back in a little bit. May God bless all of you! And good job SnoMan, you’re almost over the hump!! Day 3 is the worst!

441 Xpopper { 11.30.10 at 6:21 pm }

Got threw another day without any slip ups day 3 is coming to an end thnk god. I hope I can stay on the right track. Ur posts are soo inspiring I thank all of u for sharing ur struggle!

442 Kitty Mom { 11.30.10 at 7:00 pm }

Snoman and Im-better (left the no out on purpose..haha) You guys rock and are sticking it out one day at a time and that is all you can do – and pray. THERE IS LIFE AFTER PILLS. After the sleep comes back and I never thought it would, you can go out into the world, just one task at a time, without pills. My first trip to the grocery store, I could hardly make it through one isle – my first day back at work, I did not thinl I could do it – my first out to dinner excursion was – like this will be no fun without pills – but each day, brought new success and each prayer brought God’s healing hands closer, wrapping around me, like a warm quilt. IT IS POSSIBLE – after a week goes by, then two, then a month, then three months, your body heals – the drugs are washed away – you feel freedom – and this is for you too SM – you will feel all of these new feelings very shortly and while you are in the process I will be here cheering you on like your own private cheering squad…You can do it – You can do it – you can definately do it!!!!
It is late so to all of you
till tomorrow
one day closer to sobriety
one day closer to God
one day closer to freedom
Love You all
Kitty Mom (KQB)

443 imNObetter { 12.01.10 at 7:51 am }

Day 5 and its been easier. I’ve been up since 6:30 so now I’m starting to get a little tired but I don’t feel miserable. I am going to try and do some homework, housework, and go to class tonight. I really feel that determination is key when beating this disease. I’ve never had so much drive to quit before and always relapsed. Do you guys know how long it will take to get my energy back?? And how do I keep from relapsing in the future?? Hope you guys are having a good day!! Xoxo

444 Angela { 12.01.10 at 8:48 am }

imNobetter–Hey I’m so glad you are here, I wish I could tell you that you will get your energy back right away, but you really have to take it one day at a time. You may feel better one day and feel like crap the next, you just have to tell yourself to push through the crappy days. I was 46 days clean and on Thanksgiving I took a pill and I felt like the biggest loser, but everyone here told me to pick myself up and not to give up. If you start feeling down like you can’t make it, just jump on here and read all of the post’s from people that are in the same situation as you, it really lifts you up to hear everyone’s encouraging words. You are not alone, I promise you are not alone!!!!

445 Trevor { 12.01.10 at 11:56 am }

Day 2 of a nearly 14 year dependence, and to be honest I feel great. I can’t say that I haven’t used all of your postings as inspiration. Between faith, music, stories of others and just being sick of the slavery I think my mind was ready.


446 Southern Mom { 12.01.10 at 12:59 pm }

Hey Ms. Better,
Angela is so right, you have to take each day at a time, even if that means breaking up your day into minutes, hours.. You may feel all gung-ho one minute and just tired and weak the next, use the minutes when you’re up to their fullest extent, eventually this will become normal, not having to wait for a pill to kick in to make you feel good. I am doing this every day, how long can I got without a pill… when will I need tot ake a pill so I don’t get sick, it boggles my mind and I find the less I have to think about those flipping pills the more time I have to do the things I want to do. I am also battling alcoholism and I would rather take a drink than a pill after I am done with those nasty little deamons from hell, I will fight my alcohol abuse, I think if I can kick the vics I can kick anything!!!
You have made the right choice coming here because there is a wealth of knowledge from people who have been dealing with addiction in every was possible. Read the posts and take from them what makes you feel good, that is how I started and then it becomes your life line, getting on this site whenever you are struggling and let those that can, help you. They are saving my life right now, I have no idea where I would be if it wasn’t for the support I get from this group.
You are in my prayers my friend. God Bless

447 Daybyday { 12.01.10 at 2:54 pm }

Hi everyone I have been going through WD for the past 6 days this blog has really helped me get though what I have been going through. The physical part is pretty much over but the cravings are still really strong, I just hope I can resist the temtations. Here is a little bit about me and my addiction. I have been on pills for over 7 years I have “quit” 3 times this being my 4. My first time was tapering tremidal and I was clean for about 5 months, my second attempt was going to a methodone clinic and I have to say that going there was the worest mistake I made. They start you at such a hi dose that I was just going there to get high and then they cut you down quick and once your done you are left with just wanting more. This time I used Kratom for a month I took the highest potency one and I still had pretty good WD coming off that stuff. I am ready to just stop

448 Pete { 12.01.10 at 4:50 pm }

Hey there

Does anyone know if taking a muscle Delacruz will ease the withdrawal symptoms from hydrocodone?

449 pete { 12.01.10 at 4:55 pm }

I meant muscle relaxer

I have some called Skelaxin and the other is a little orange circular pill with an M on it called Flexeril

Thanks — just looking for any good advice on day 2 and im hurtin

450 Snoman { 12.01.10 at 5:47 pm }

Pete, what worked and is working for me is a non narcatic called naproxen .500mg.. It’s not the best but it’s not a narc either… It’s basically Aleve I think, but that what I’ve found that helps me with the pain. It’s the end of day 4 cold turkey and it sucks… RLS and no sleep.. Tylenolpm didnt even touch it last night… But I have been here before so I know tonight will be just as bad but it should be the worst of it…so I have that going for me I guess…I am depressed as hell and just want to get some sleep… I just took a double of nyquil, I doubt it will do any thing but it can’t hurt. Hang in there folks… I know it sucks … But the good things in life are expensive and this is the price you got to pay… No one made me take that little white bastard.. I did it to myself… So it on me to dig myself out of this hole… One day at a time… Sounds corny but it works… Try going for an hour, then 2 , then 24… Next thing you know it’s been 4 days and you might as well not go backwards now… You’ve come so far…. Just do it… That how I’m Rollin ….

451 Kitty Mom { 12.01.10 at 6:22 pm }

Snoman – I read your post and it sounds exactly like me three months ago and I never thought that I woulde be on the other side of addiction with all those sleepless nights and rls nights behind me – but it gets better and before you know it, you are normal again and the pain of withdrawal is behind you – that is why I read all your posts. I need to remember what it is like so I will never ever go there again… Gosd bless you and keep you focused on this journey you are on.

452 pete { 12.01.10 at 6:33 pm }

thks snoman!

doing my best to take it an hour at a time

453 Daybyday { 12.01.10 at 8:06 pm }

I was on my day 6 and I just relapsed I took 4 norcos. I feel like I am a fool for going back to them after all I have been through. I just hope that I did not ruin all the work that I have put in. I am just scared that I have to start all over again, does anyone know if that is the case…… I feel so stupid right now

454 Snoman { 12.02.10 at 2:44 am }

Thanks kitty,
I will be here for awhile this time. I was over 30 days clean before I relapsed… I have never been addicted to anything before and I didn’t consider myself an addict until this time.. Notthat I’m labeling anyone or judgeing… Just saying that for ME, I need to call myself an addict so i can remember not to travel this road again. Im struggling but reading what other post and knowing others are pulling for Me is a big help.. Thank you all for your words and stories..it’s 4am and I’ve been up all night, no relief for insomnia yet that I’ve found. That seems to be the killer for me. RLS has slowed a little so thats good I hope..I’ll let you all know how tomorrow goes… Good luck all

455 metoo { 12.02.10 at 8:45 am }

Hello, EVERYONE!!! WOW!!! I go away for a couple days, and BOOM BABY!!! :) Glad to see that our little world here is growing. I just want to throw my two cents worth in here. To me, there are TWO CURES for what we are all dealing with. ANGELS and POTASSIUM SUPPLEMENTS.

First of all, potassium. GET THE POTASSIUM SUPPLEMENTS for RLS. Pound those suckers!!! Seriously, take about 4 of them a day, and they will take care of the RLS. They WORK.

Most importantly, ANGELS. God sees everything AS PERFECT~~He created it perfect, He sees it as perfect for now, and for all eternity. So, since (it feels to me anyway,) He is just watching and waiting, He has given us the GIFT OF ANGELS. The ANGELS are the ones we call upon when we need help. I did not know this until recently, but asking the angels for help has gotten me through some sticky times. The key is, you have to ASK. Angels cannot come to you against your free will, so you must ASK FOR THE ANGELS TO COME HELP YOU!!! I swear, folks, the relief is immediate. Ask with an open heart and an open mind, try to relax and to let them infuse every cell of your being with God’s love for you. It is a great thing, this gift of angels. I ask you, to ask them for help. They will come!!! Here is a “sample” of an angelic plea….ad lib as YOU see fit!!! :)

“Angels, I am in need!!!! I BELIEVE that God has given you the ability to help me, and I need you NOW! Please infuse EVERY CELL of my being with God’s healing peace and God’s love for me. I am low, angels, I am low. I need you now! Please come to me in Jesus’ name. I welcome you angels into my body and my heart. Please come to me now!”

They WILL BE THERE. All you have to do is ASK.

I am sending to everyone prayers of healing. This can be done, and you will all get there, and then be there to help someone else. God, I love the “ripples” in the waters of this life. Isn’t it amazing?

Thank you, Lord, for all of your gifts to us, ESPECIALLY for the angels. Oh, yes, and for potassium supplements too! :D

456 imNObetter { 12.02.10 at 10:12 am }

HellO everyone!!! I’m on Day 6 and I have to admit that I am starting to feel much better. I find that music has been helping me. The only thing I still can not get back is keeping warm. Too–Pete…. muscle relaxers help maybe a tad but your best bet are anxiety meds like xanax (especially for the sleep) and vitamins!!! I also find that if you push yourself to do things whether you want to or not, it does significantly help. Who would have ever thought that these stupid little pills would start a world wide drug epidemic!?!? I bet if a doctor read this blog he/she would be more cautious giving out narcotics!!! It’s also amazing how those stupid little pills treat depression. Out of all the drugs out there for depression, the ones not made for it WORK!!! Anyway friends my prayers are with you all and WE CAN ALL DO THIS!!! You guys have no idea how much this site has helped me. I feel closer to you guys than my own family at the moment because I know each and everyone of you understand!! xoxo

457 Jman { 12.03.10 at 9:12 am }

I’ve been in a funk for a few months now. Kinda depressed I guess. I’ve using taking hydrocodone on and off for about 8 months now. Recently started taking some tramadol which is producing a different but slightly satisfying feeling. I know I need to break this habit, as it is not a good one. Excercise used to help. I think I need to start running again. I’ve heard weird stories about Doctor’s actually prescribing tramadol for depression. Anybody heard of this? Good luck to everyone here and good job for those who are quitting.

458 Daybyday { 12.03.10 at 7:18 pm }

Jman if you can get about 35 to 45 tremadol I would urge you to use those to taper down with. The first time I quit the doctor gave me tremadol and a little bit a 5 mg valium and that worked wonders. I tapered down 8 days first two days 2 trem every 6 hrs, next two days 1 and 1/2 every six hours, next two days 1 and 1/2 every 8 hours and the last 2 days 1 every 8 hours while only using the Valium the first 4 days as needed. I was clean for three months after doing that but stupidly went back. Hopefully this helps you good luck

459 Southern Mom { 12.04.10 at 10:47 am }

Hey everyone, I have been in moderation limbo so hopefully this posts.
Everyone that comes here is coming for the right reasons, to talk about what they are feeling, in most cases like myself because there is no one else to talk to, it’s a secret. Well, we are all here praying for you and if I can just make sure you do one thing… Be kind to yourself, there is no reason to beat yourself up. This is addiction, it takes over and you are under it’s power. All you have to do now is get that power back, take control of your life back, don’t let anything tell you what you need or how to live. The day you decided to come here and say “ENOUGH” was the first day of the rest of your life, I know that’s cliches as hell, but it’s the truth.
Take your life back and make it one worth living. You are stonger than any drug, you just need to make sure you know that in your heart. I am doing it, I am tapering becasue I have detoxed too many times to count and every time I felt digusted because I took away from my family what they deserve, a loving wife and parent, not some drug addict that can’t function without drugs, this time I taper so I become less physucally dependant and maybe go through a couple days of withdrawls instead of weeks. I have been sober and it was great, I love being sober, I really like myself sober and for Christmas, sobriety will be my gift.
I have all my vitamins, stuff to sleep, potassium by the truckload for RLS. I have 2 weeks left and it’s time to go. Anyone that want’s to go with me, jump on board we can do this together.
My love and prayers to all of you.
May God bless your day!

460 Daybyday { 12.04.10 at 11:08 am }

Southern Mom- your post have given me a lot of strength with everything I have been going through. I have been clean for 10 days now (minus one stupid slip up) but I just wanted to thank you for your post and even though they were never directed to me I felt like I could relate to alot of them. I never have put any belief in God, but going through this I have found my self seeking him out for help. Everyone here can do it!!!!

461 Southern Mom { 12.05.10 at 9:31 am }

My posts and pretty much everyone’s posts ARE for everyone! My thoughts, advice and prayers are directed to you. I can picture you in my mind (like I do with everyone, I am very visual and having a face or a characteristic helps me SEE who I spend my days praying for.
I also take everyone’s posts with me everyday in my journal, whenever I feel the need for encouragement I open my book, read those words and KNOW in my heart I am not alone!
My taper is going really well, I am feeling a bit sick, but nothing like before, I am getting giddy with excitemtn for my day that I quit completely, I can’t wait to get past the last stages of withdrawls and wake up every morning with a new lease on life!
My mantra is “I CAN DO THIS!” And I beleive that with all of my being!
And to repeat your words… “Everyone here can do it”
God bless you all today, I am here praying for everyone, that you have a blessed day!

462 Snoman { 12.05.10 at 12:22 pm }

Hi all,
Just wanted to say DAY 8 and I feel great. I’ve had a few temptations but held strong. Sleep is coming back and RLS is gone so I’m in the clear I hope. I’ve kept busy and got a good book. Reading seems to help ALOT for me. Good luck all and I’ll keep checkin in.

463 Kitty Mom { 12.05.10 at 1:28 pm }

Congratulations on Day 8 – you are on your way Sno – it is all uphill after this – it will only get better – you are over the hump. Congratulations and good luck for continued success and keep on touching base here so we know how you are doing. It seems only yesterday when it was 8 days for me and by taking one day at a time, I am at 3 months. It is not even a temptation any more. So, I will keep you pm my prayer list my friend. Have a great week.

464 Kitty Mom { 12.05.10 at 1:31 pm }

Southern Mom – YOU CAN DO THIS – I am routing for you my dear friend…and praying for you as usual.

465 Southern Mom { 12.06.10 at 9:02 am }

Snow man… DAY 9!!! You are well past the worst part and READING IS A GREAT distraction!! I lost count of actual days after 2 weeks, but I had such a great support team (KITTY MOM #1) that I was reminded of how many days, how much I accomplished and I was walking on the other side of my addiction. It really does get easier now, staying busy, keeping your mind active, doing things are good for your body, mind and soul are all tools to use for your sobriety.
Please keep in touch se we can remind you of how wonderful you are and what a miraculous event you are undertaking and so we all can continue to pray for you.
KM you are proof of God’s love because He has sent all of us an angel in the form of Kitty Mom. Thank you for being you!!!

466 Snoman { 12.06.10 at 3:32 pm }

SM and KM,
Thanks SO much for your encouragement and kind words. Staying active and distracted is a good way to heal. I deal with migraines and back pain issues from an injury I suffered years ago. The migraines are the worst of it and I haven’t found the best treatment for them yet that will fit my new found sobriety. I try natural cures, two tbs of honey a day… Maybe a wives tale but I still try it.. I take naproxen but don’t want to take any narcs.. Anyone know any othr options…. Drs want to give me narcs but I don’t want to be down this road again & again… Unfortunately vicodin works the best for me… But I need something else… Any suggestions???? Day 9 and counting…

467 medicmom { 12.15.10 at 10:53 am }

Does anyone still use this site? I’ve been reading non stop since i started my WD phase 2 days ago…. Didnt know if anyone still lingered around to talk to?

468 FLORA { 12.16.10 at 7:04 am }

im 2 days ino detox and having slot of hullicinatios/delirium….. look i cant even write right! im sry km just hurtin rea; bad bit just wasnt ed to say thank u for everything!!
God Bl3s YOU!!

469 iwastherebefore { 12.16.10 at 7:47 am }

Hi all! I just wanted to let everyone know i found this website on day one of my WD and it has been tremendously helpful!!!! The upport is wonderful! When I began on day 1 I felt death was knocking on my door. I was a full time every day user of 15 – 20 10mg lorcets everyday. Never missed a dose and it was all off the street! Not even a prescription!!!!! But I am PROUD to say that this too shall pass! I am on day 13 now with tapering my pills, Im currently taking 1 10mg every morning and am finally over the withdrawals!!!!!!! Tomorow i am moving down to 7mg everyday for a week and then 7mg every other day the 2nd week and by then i hope i will be able to get off them without any horrid side effects. HOWEVER if i do than i will go to 5mgs everyday for a week then 5mg every other day and then stop for good. I would advise anyone please do not quit cold turkey, tapering is sooooo much easier. and no i definately did not have the willpower to do this alone but i have a wonderful husband who has helped me all the way. I actually had him lock the meds up away from me and i had him give me only 2 10mg a day and it was pure hell i had all the WD sx in full force but by day 10 I felt like a normal human being for the first time in a lonnnnnng time and i actually hurt less than i did on the stupid things! Just wanted to let you guys know there is an end to the madness and its sooooo worth it. Id be more than happy to help any one with questions, i will check site again soon to check on you guys!

470 medicmom { 12.17.10 at 11:15 am }

Was wondering if anyone is still using this message board. I’m detoxing cold turkey and the kicker is, im also pregnant! need some serious support! Thanks

471 Jamie { 12.18.10 at 2:52 am }

There’s a group of us here all ready to give our support and try to do what we can to help you through. This board has helped me so much, and they’re such great people. I hope you stick around and see what everyone has to say. Most of the regulars post on the About section of this board, but they do post here if someone else does. I started here and then moved to about because I figured I might as well join the pack.

Cold turkey is hell for the first 3-4 days after that it gets so much better. This recipe for detox helped me a lot, along with the people on here. Don’t know about what to tell you to try or not to being pregnant and all.

Stick around, if not on the thomas recipe board, head over to About.

Hope you can find the help you need!


472 Angela { 12.18.10 at 6:37 am }

medicmom–What a great gift God has given you to help you get clean, a baby!! It will be so great for you to get clean and enjoy every moment with your baby. Yes Jamie is right the first 3-4 days are horrible but it does get better. Just keep telling yourself in a few days it will be better. There is some depression that comes knowing that you are not getting the pills anymore, but you really have to take that day by day and push your way through it. Just start to enjoy the simple things again that you don’t feel when taking the pills. We are all here for you and I personally have been in the detox stage probably 20 times in my life, so if you need anything let us know. Stay strong!!

473 Dave { 12.24.10 at 11:21 am }

5th day here…

I feel MUCH MUCH better today than I did yesterday, and yesterday was MUCH better than the day before… and so on and so on.

I was taking 6-10 Lortabs every single day for over 2 years. Never missed a day. Smuggled them across the country countless times just to not run out. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on a stupid pill that has done nothing but help me make ruins out of my life.

This was HARD to do on those first few days, but IT IS GETTING MUCH BETTER EVERY DAY.

If you’re finding this site, and trying to decide if this is really do-able…. IT IS.

You just have to realize that you’ve pretty much made your bed, and now it’s time to lay on down in it for a few days.

MAKE SURE to have something to put your butt to sleep for a couple of days. I had Xanax. It takes a couple of blue footballs to get me a night’s sleep right now. Don’t let “not having” Xanax’s be your excuse…. If you can find hundreds of hydro’s, you can find 20 Xanax/Klonopin or so! ;)

I am now on the downhill side of this withdrawal, and listen, YOU CAN DO THIS. Just try to prepare for the battle as best you can, and as soon as you get ready GO FOR IT. YOU CAN BEAT THESE STUPID PILLS!!!

As I lay there restless and in pain, wanting to go chew up a Lortab, I just kept reminding myself that IT”S THE PILLS THAT ARE MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE THIS ANYWAY!! Had I never started eating them, I’d never have felt this way in th first place. If I eat more of those pills, I’ll feel just as horrible again!



YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

474 Becky { 12.25.10 at 5:19 am }

Here’s the deal guys. I’m 38 and have been an addict for five years. Started like everyone on here, doc prescribed legitimate pain meds for legit pain. I liked it, and bought from the street. After my habit got so expensive, I realised that heroine was cheaper. Yes heroine. But I snorted…..at first. Then I realized that shooting it required less to keep me from being sick, so thats what I did. An I hate needles. So moral of the story: GET OFF NOW, I NEVER in a schmillion years, thought that I’s shoot dope, but 5 mg vics lead me there. I am now in a suboxone program, two and a half years free from street drugs, and in counseling. STOP NOW, one month worth of wd is nothing compared with losing the rest of your life. Good Luck. Merry Christmas.

475 JIMMYV { 01.17.11 at 10:32 am }

Hey everyone trying or thinking about quitting Vicodin/Norco/Lortabs.

I’m sorry everyone else on Oxys or similiar, my opiate addiction was just with Hydrocone goodies.

A few thoughts for you all.

6 months clean yesterday after a 14 year on again off again habit. Started with a scrip and went south after the first 5 years. At my worst I was taking 15-20 10/325 norcos daily.

Every time I had tried quitting prior (at least 10-15 times) I could never get past the 2 month time frame. I believe every failure prior was due to the lack of resupplying my body with the necessary supplements needed to repair the damage done by those little white monsters. So I would jump back on the pill train to feel normal.

This is the longest I’ve been clean and I’d like to share how.

I tapered down over a 4 day period to get ready for the withdrawals.

Mental portion of withdrawals:

2 tablets of L-tyrosine when you first wake up in the morning, followed by additional 1-2 tablets every 3-4 hours depending on how you feel. (depressed/anxious) They can take about 30-45 minutes to kick in (be patient) but when they do you can tell. I only took 1 tablet of the 5-htp and sam-e 200 as I noticed if I took any more they gave me thundering bubble gut and that sucks ass. If you can’t sit still, play Angry birds or read or take a walk. Don’t sit and simmer about the pills.

Physical portion of withdrawals:

1 tablet of Magnessium, 1 tablet of potassium and 1 tablet of copper (once daily). I took the magnessium and potassium multiple times daily because it eliminated the lovely RLS symptoms. If you can’t find the potassium in a tablet eat bananas instead. They work.

For sleep I was lucky to get a scrip for Ambien 12.5 CR. I remember reading a post earlier in this column that advised Ambien’s have a safety feature that makes them gel up and become less effective if chewed. This is totally true. I found that when I took one nightly and chewed it up, swished it around in my mouth with sparkling mineral water it bypassed that safety feature. As long as you can get past the rancid taste of a disolved pill it will help immensely with sleep and combining that with the other suplements through out the day the RLS should be minimal if even at all.

The RLS was the worst part of my withdrawal each time I tried quitting before. The bed sweats, jumpy legs, irritability, anxiousness, all of that would scare me to the point where I could justify spending my life savings on more pills to avoid it.

I lost a marriage to these pills. That didn’t scare me enough to quit. I stopped because my dealer threatened my life over $50. That was the motivation I needed to make a permanent change in my life. I believe I am worth more than a $50 bill.

I am not a vitamin nut/wierdo but it is essential to replenish the minerals the pills remove from you. Your withdrawals are your body’s way of telling you it needs help. Feed it with the vitamins. It truly works.

I have two sayings that I read multiple times a day to remind me of my pill addiction:
“One is too many and a thousand isn’t enough” (how freaking true!!) and a quote from Joe in the About forum “I have learned that if I don’t take the first one, I don’t have to worry about the next one. And that was the relief I was praying for.” This is so true. You can do it!!! It is a liberating feeling not having to count the pills, to have to do the calculations to see how much “time” you have remaining before the withdrawals/panic kick in.

I know I can ramble at times but I hope the silent people lurking on the sidelines and some active posters can take something away from my post. I read this site constantly during my previous attempts at quitting since the site began in 08′ and didn’t begin posting until recently.

If somebody like myself with zero will power can quit, so can you!! Give it a try. You might be uncomfortable for a small period of time but once your done, you’ll be free.

Good luck to all!!


476 JIMMYV { 01.18.11 at 11:58 am }

Ok all, this will be my last posting here but wanted to leave you with this info I found on bluelight.ru. The person who typed it has a screen name of cashtothemoney and credit needs to be given. Hopefully this helps one person out.

A Guide to Opiate Withdrawal by cashtothemoney
(w/ help from our over-the-counter friends)

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a doctor, but I have been reading about this sort of thing extensively for a very long time. This is not medical advice, but rather my own experience which you can take from what you want. In order to be in line with my own morals (and the LAW!), I have to say that it would be best to review this with a doctor before making any decisions. All drugs listed, with the exception of one, can be bought over-the-counter, but this does not mean that it is automatically “safe”.


Expect the worst in withdrawal. It might not be “crazy”, but it sure as hell won’t be comfortable. At the same time, for some of you, it will be the hardest experience of your life. Lack of energy, muscle/bone aches, diarrhea, insomnia, depression, anxiety. It can be hell, but you can ease all of these withdrawal symptoms with over-the-counter drugs. I’ve survived it a few times, and as long as you keep yourself busy it can be made a bit easier. The physical part is somewhat similar to having the flu, but magnified depending on the dose/frequency of use/duration of use; however, I think I can speak for most people when I say, the mental struggle that follows the physical withdrawal is MUCH worse. This is given as a possible alternative to therapies such as methadone, buprenorphine, etc. Good luck to all of those attempting to rid themselves of addiction.

The intensity and length of opiate withdrawal will depend on a few factors. The larger the dose, the more intense the withdrawal. The longer you have been using, the longer and more intense the withdrawal will be. If you did it once a day, it might take a few days for the withdrawal to kick in. If you took opiates shortly before bed, insomnia might be the biggest problem. If you took opiates when you woke up, you might not feel like getting out of bed without them. All of this could be wrong, or it could all be right on the money. The point is opiate withdrawal will differ for everyone; however, it will universally suck.

The Essentials
Positive mindset
A multivitamin
An understanding that this is not forever.


Immodium A.D. – 4-6mg loperamide per 50-60mg of oxycodone/hydrocodone. (May vary!)
Try not to take this too often as it can make you REALLY constipated, but it can get rid of (in my experience as well as others) the majority of the physical withdrawal symptoms. Just remember that loperamide is an opiate, so it’s better to only take if NEEDED. Laxatives can counter the constipation or try the natural route, fruit or olive oil.
Note: It is very important that you keep in mind that loperamide is an opiate, so you must also taper yourself off of loperamide, which can be done over the period of a few weeks to a month. This will let you start dealing with any mental dependency issues almost right away, which will be the hardest part of coming off opiates.


Benzodiazepines: Exercise EXTREME caution if you plan on using any sort of benzodiazepines to ease the insomnia. Examples of benzos include diazepam (Valium), alprazolam (Xanax), and clonazepam (Klonopin/Rivotril). For myself alprazolam and clonazepam work the best, although I will not recommend obtaining these illegally. Working your way up from 0.5mg (assuming you have no tolerance) until you find your dose may be helpful. ONLY take these if you absolutely need them. I can’t stress that enough. Benzodiazepines are, in my humble opinion, more addicting than opiates, and it is a fact that they are more dangerous. They are one of the few classes of drugs that can include DEATH in the withdrawal. Another positive aspect of using benzos would be the fact that it can really take the edge off if/when you are feeling stressed out and anxious. Research them extensively before you use them, as you do *NOT* want to trade addictions. If you are taking buprenorphine as an aid during withdrawal, do not take any benzodiazepines, as this combination has resulted in death.
Diphenhydramine: This is an antihistamine which includes drowsiness as one of the side effects which makes it a great candidate for a sleep aid. It works wonders for many opiate addicts and I think this would be better to use than any benzos.

Bone/Muscle Aches (with a little bit of advice for the mental part as well)
Ibuprofen, Naproxen (Recommended dose/as needed)
ABSOLUTELY NO OPIATES! The only way one can use opiates is if they are tapering. There are hardly any people with the willpower, and self-discipline to actually complete a successful taper. The road to becoming clean must be taken one day at a time, maybe even one hour or one minute at a time. Tell yourself to get through the next minute or hour. Reward yourself for getting through that period of time. If you start thinking about the next week, month, or year, you WILL overwhelm yourself.

Lack of Energy/Depression
EXERCISE! This is, by far, the number one way of combating the physical and mental part of withdrawal, including depression. You may not want to do anything, which could even include getting out of bed, but if you can motivate yourself to exercise, you will notice a dramatic increase in your energy levels and your mindset. This is what has made a dramatic difference each time I’ve gone through withdrawals. It is THE wonder drug, not to mention you can obtain the infamous “runner’s high” after running for a certain amount of time.
L-Tyrosine: (Available at GNC) Studies show l-tyrosine will help with depression, energy levels, and other mood disorders. It is a precursor to dopamine (the Almighty), norepinephrine, epinephrine, and L-dopa. Epinephrine and norepinephrine are two of the body’s stress-related hormones, and l-tyrosine’s role in their creation can help ease the negative effects of stress. Starting at 2000mg per day, and adjusting is one way to begin. Vitamin B6 is essential in the creation of the neurotransmitters, so be sure to take the it along with the l-tyrosine.
Vitamin B6: Vitamin B6 helps in the creation of serotonin (the “happy” neurotransmitter), dopamine, norepinephrine, and GABA (the mechanism in which benzodiazepines work through; reduces stress levels; induces relaxation). So one can easily see why B6 is beneficial. It also provides energy, and as said before, is essential in the conversion of l-tyrosine to the various neurotransmitters.
FIND SOMEONE YOU CAN TALK TO! We all need to vent. Find a friend, someone on this forum, a psychologist, etc. It is essential if you want to succeed.
Think about all of the things that can be done now. Money in the bank, be around for family/friends, not worry about your next fix, not be sick all the time, etc.

Other supplements that could help: Kava (anxiety), valerian root (anxiety/insomnia).

Closing Notes

The worst of the physical withdrawal will most likely be over after the 4th day. It typically lasts 3-5 days and fades off after that, but can last as long as a week (longer with opiates with a long half-life, such as methadone). I’ve found the fourth day to be the worst, and once you are over that hump you start to feel physically better. Then, it is time to deal with the mental problems that result.

If you have friends that do drugs, you have to separate yourself from them. Unless you are superman, or have an abnormal sense of self-discipline, you will have to do this as the temptation is too great for most. Getting away for a week can really make all the difference in the world. Staying clean is a lifelong journey, and if that is what you are after, YOU CAN DO IT! Don’t give up if you have a bad day or are feeling a bit down. Keep yourself busy. It can make all the difference in the world. Start a new hobby, continue an old one, spend time with the family, go hiking, go for a walk, talk to a stranger, have a cup of coffee (avoid it in the beginning as this can worsen anxiety), etc.

As addicts, we might have started doing opiates for fun, or maybe to cover up problems. It might have only been a weekend romance, but that changed into a daily obsession. We might be broke, losing friends, and at rock bottom. Sometimes there are problems that we try to cover up, and a lot of emotions come out as the drug leaves our body. We have to get used to living a “normal” life, and dealing with “normal” problems. It is important to get to the root of the problems, and face them head on. There is no more hiding. After all, the REAL you is coming out from hiding as well. You mine as well make the most of it.

Best of luck to all of you in your endeavors. Godspeed.

477 Experience with OPIATE withdawal-Here the story:Please HELP - Page 3 - Professional Muscle { 01.26.11 at 1:35 am }

[...] the release of endorphins. I haven't read any research on this though. Also, any aerobic activity. The Thomas Recipe for Opiate Detox — VicodinWithdrawal.org Help for Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) after Opiate Withdrawal – Drugs Forum Hope this [...]

478 so ready { 01.27.11 at 9:26 am }

I am a 37 yo female with 2 kids and a wonderfull man I am about to marry I have been tavin vics and yellow norcos for 15yrs about 20 a day to will be day 1 I spend 12 hours reading every post on here yesterday and I am ready I had a quiet date of 2-1-11 but have decided to start today please pray for me I will keep everyone posted

479 so ready { 01.27.11 at 11:44 am }

I am in the middle of day 1 I am feeling a ok I have been taking 20 or so vics or norcos a day for 14years a month a ago II decided it was time to stop!!! ( past time) I started reserching the prosess yesterday and found this site I read it for 12 hours and decided today is the day I am done. I am a sucsessfull women with 2 kids 18 and 14 I own my own bussness. And have a man who loves me very much and is so far super suportive. A little back round after my last child was born I had back pain they gave me vics then norcos then oxzy 10, 40, and then 80′s at the worst of it I was taking 13 80mg oxzy’s a day I had back surgey 10 years ago and started taking vics to get offf the oxzys not sure what has happen in the 10 years or so but as of yesterday I was taking 20 vicz or norcos what ever I could get my hands on a day. I am very scared 14 years of use I have NEVER been with out a pill ever in 14 years. I am exspecting the worst and kinda feakin out please help

480 so ready { 01.27.11 at 5:40 pm }

I have made I to 10hrs with out a vics I would have never have been able to to that… I am not to bad.. Just a little outa it

481 Mike { 01.29.11 at 7:00 pm }

There are a ton of comments on here already but I wanted to share my experience going through w/d and to help those attempting to do the same.

Quick backstory: I’m 27 and I’ve had a love affair with Vicodin for at least 10 years. I can’t remember the first time I took it but I remember when I was around 17 I found a bottle my mother had been prescribed (I believe they were 7.5′s). I would take a couple a day, trying not to make it obvious that they were missing. By the end of the week I’d taken about half of the bottle, making it pretty clear someone had been stealing them. I ended up just taking the whole bottle from her room as I figured a missing bottle would look better than an empty bottle. This was what probably kick-started the love affair.

Over the years they would pop up sporadically but it was never anything that I would consider to be a problem. I enjoyed taking them about as much as I liked drinking beer or smoking cigarettes but that was pretty much the extent of it. I once worked with a guy who didn’t like them and sold me his bottle, my old boss gave me a half of a bottle once, occasionally another buddy would get some, stuff like that. It wasn’t until recently that they were available to me whenever I wanted them, which is what lead to taking 10-12 norcos (10/325) per day.

A friend of mine met someone who wasn’t a drug user himself, but someone who sold pretty much anything you wanted. Being that I had never experienced w/d symptoms before, it was a pretty big slap in the face to realize I’d become physically addicted.

About two weeks ago my supply of 40 per week (actually that lasted about 4 days) ran out and our supplier wasn’t getting any more. I didn’t think too much of it as the day after I’d run out I felt fine. The following day, however, was a different story. I had the runs, the lethargy, the inability to sleep, and what I now know is restless leg syndrome. To me, this is the worst part. If I’m sitting I want to be up and moving. If I’m up and moving I want to be sitting. I just couldn’t get comfortable. This lasted a few days but I was able to handle most of the symptoms with hot showers, Nyquil, and a little pot.

I have to say – even though the w/d sucks, it’s not the end of the world. I was half-expecting ‘Trainspotting’ once the w/d symptoms began but I experienced nothing of the sort. If you’re looking to get clean just know that the worst of it is over after about 3 days and then you’re faced with just feeling ‘off’ for another few days. By the end of the week you’ll be back to normal. It sucks, but it’s not the end of the world.

Good luck.

482 soready { 01.30.11 at 3:35 pm }

Day 4 here … Almost back to normal still feeling a littl outa it now again but not to bad … Slept 2days 3day woke up feeling great by evening starting feeling bad but that’s ok still can’t sleep well go to bed late get up by 5 or 6 but I am sure that to will pass

483 soready { 01.31.11 at 4:21 pm }

I had been taking vicz norcos for 14 years about 20 a day I am on day 5 and doing well a little outa it a

484 Kitty Mom { 01.31.11 at 6:24 pm }

Mike and so ready – hey welcome. Sorry, I did not come over on this board sooner – there are alot of us who post over on the about page daily – if you click on one of the previous about posts and come on over there, you will probably get better response. Would love to have you over there. I refer to new posters as newborns and hey I am routng for you in this your difficult time and if you accept prayers – there are alot of us praying for you on here. So keep up the good work – I found that posting on here every day was my saving Grace and kept me clean. I am now almost at five months. I am so very glad and honored to meet you both and anyone else new that I did not catch. Taking a pill just is not an option for me any longer – it would not be worth the consequences.

485 gonetoolong { 02.03.11 at 2:24 pm }

I am scared to death to go through this but I have no choice as I am out of norco’s for now. I’ve been here before and all I remember is how absolutely miserable the wd was.
I took my last norco last night. I couldn’t find the vitamins at the store. No B6, they only had B12 sublingual so I bought that and I did get the potassium and a multi vitamin. I have about 8 klonopin so I hope this will get me through the worst of it.
All input welcome. I’ve read almost from the beginning of these posts and hope to find the same support, or close anyway.

486 scott { 02.04.11 at 12:40 pm }

I’ve been taking Roxys 30mg (blues) for the last 3 years almost daily. There once was a time in between that I got fed up with using them because it was depleting my finances and I jumped on the Suboxone train which ultimately led me to quit for 8 months. However, knowing that the ‘Subs’ would fill the void when I wasn’t using ‘blues’ I’d always keep a few handy and continued my usage again. My connection has recently been busted an longer had access to getting ‘blues’ so I’m now quitting again. Over the course of 3 weeks I managed to spread out 2 ‘subs’ during that time, and literally weening myself off. I’d take a crumb size piece of ‘sub’ to keep myself at ease for a day and a half. For me this has worked, for the most part. It prevented me from any pains and even the runs and RLS to a certain degree. Now I’m off the ‘subs’ for 5 days, and all I’ve had to deal with is a little bit of RLS when I try to sleep at night, but I’d take a blood pressure pill that would completely calm the RLS and make me tired enough to sleep. I’m also complying with the ‘Thomas Recipe’ but in my own version. I take a ‘One a Day’ multi-vitamin, along with some 5 Hour Energy. The withdrawals have been very minimal, but the malaise has been the worst part. Thats where the 5 Hour Energy works. Add a little excercise to keep the blood flowing and it all seems to be working. Everybody’s body reacts differently, but its true that within a week of re-nourishing on vitamins and minerals we all should be coming back to normal. Good luck all.

487 Char { 02.10.11 at 12:53 pm }

I come in here quite a bit to read how everyone is doing. I quit in late April of 2010 and it is possible. It was rough for sure, and I still think about getting high, but each day is a day further away from that lifestyle for me. You guys are doing great!

488 Metoo { 02.11.11 at 7:37 am }

WAY TO GO, CHAR!!!! I finished up in early april, so we are both on the same time-line! Hugs to you, and kudos, my friend!!! Way to do it!!

489 Robin { 02.12.11 at 8:55 am }

Hey gone too long!

You can do it…I am on day 5 finally….and feel fricking awesome!! Just when you think you can’t take it much longer…know this: It will go away and before you know it, you will wake up clear-headed, feeling like a million!!

Stay the course!!

490 Mead { 02.22.11 at 10:51 am }

Im on day 4 from a 40 vicodin per day habit (over a year and a half habit).

load up on amodium AD (green liquid bottles)

day one:
Slam two big gulps every 4 to 5 hrs; this will definitely help with diarreha

Take (1) GAMA 750MG and (1) 5-HTP 200mg every 4 hrs (any health foor store); this stops the little zaps in your brain, relaxes you and stopps any cravings. Eat banannas to stop the leg shakes.

at night be prepared to wake up drenched in sweat for the next two nights. expect some back pain; I just suffered through it.

by day 3 i felt really good. Im on day 4 and feel even better. a little foggy but who cares. you can do it if I can with the habit I had. GL

491 Mead { 02.22.11 at 10:55 am }

Oh. and bottom line. You have to get angry at this thing that’s controlling you. Tell if F-OFF!!! Fight it w/ everything you have. You will get through this. Just remember how you felt before you ever got addicted. GL All

492 slimnonomous { 02.26.11 at 9:52 pm }

Hi I am a single mother of three-my fiance of 5 yrs left me for sumone else while i was 5 months prego-my daughter who is now six months and my other two are living in a friends basement, i have absolutuly NO family-none i never met my real mother-hav no bros or sis’s-my father is an addict in alcohol etc i choose to stay away from and grandparents passed away yrs ago-i have friends-none know of my horriblle perk/vic addition i hav hid and been on and off of for the past four yrs-except my ex-but he had his own addictions and although drugs ruin everything that they seem to improve-ie being supermom-our main issues were me trying to get clean and dealing w the depression and i actually did go to a mental lockup not for attempting but for making a statement that i would-i never would tho i kno that bc in this funk im feeling exactly what u all are or have-its scary and in that i kno i dont wish to ed life but to get it back and back to my ex wen i did go to lockup-he was never understanding and i am better w out him-i needed him in an attempt to get clean and he has tho made me afraid to admit this w anyone else. I wanted to post to som talking about suboxene however u spell it-i tried that up until a couple days ago and had been on that during times i couldnt get my pain pills-IT IS WAY WORSE TO COM DOWN OFF SUBS THAN ANY PILL I EVER SWALLOWED! i want to say that right now-i currently am on day two of wd and i have been thru this many times and never hav i felt as terrible as i do now than coming off these subs-DONT TAKE EM! i can handel the phsyical but for me its also the mental toll thats the worst! i dont kno whether to tell my roomate/friend for the fact i kno hes been great and supportive w all ive gone thru and i am at a stalemate bc i feel as he is super against drugs that if i tell him and he is shameful i will get more depressed-but if i do and he supports me than i will be able to get thru this easier knowing someone i kno cares and is here to help-soory for so long of a post folks i just want a bit of advice-to warn u of the effects of subs and seek support i would probaly make a lil more sense lol-if i didnt have the “cloudy head” syptom at the moment-i hav been thru this many times-never this bad but many times and it did get easier i obviously relapsed, mainly tho bc being a mom or a spouse etc is the hardest-when others depend on u to be this super human u were on the meds that u no longer are and life seems immpossible w/out the helpers, pills watever u wana call em. it is wat pulls me back i truly believe-that and that horrible lost empty clouded head feeling of feeling really nothing to be honest-and if u do feel its sadness and disgust w yourself-i kno! hopefully i wont fall this time as i hav no idea how to get more- my supplier is now in jail for a long time-unrealted to drugs tho-but anyhow-thanks to u all to kno im not alone in how this feels-and again-do not DO NOT take subs as for me they were just as addictive-although less an expense but way harder to com off of-WAY harder but i guess sum people are different-let me kno thanks again-slim

493 Life { 03.07.11 at 8:32 am }

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to thank all of you for the courage you’ve shown through your tough battles. Addiction breaks the barriers of ethnic and socioeconomic differences, we’re all self-inflicted victims which for one reason or another face the same enemy. I’ve been an addict (first time I’ve addmited this to anyone) for the last five years. I’ve taken Ultram 300 ER, Vicodin 10mg, Oxycontin 40mg, Percocet 10mg, and the list goes on and on. When I first started using the effects made me feel like a God. Gone were the anxiety, depression, and stress of daily life. Opiates are a clever foe however, and soon those feelings subsided and the lie was exposed. Here I am 5yrs later and what I feel now is a loss of self, I do not remember what real joy or happiness feels like. All that is left is a cloudy, distant, fleeting memory of my life before I decided to stop living it. I too have been clever in hiding my addiction from others, a drug dependency makes seasoned liars of us all. Despite my best efforts, those who love me suspect something is amiss. Where once the drugs (or so I thought) helped me cope with daily stresses, social, family & work obligations they ultimately obscure these and all facets of life. I’ve often thought of myself as a strong, focused, determined man but the reality of “self” is much different than the image I’ve constructed. I don’t think of myself but rather an actualization of my actions. I’m being honest, completely honest for the first time in a long, long time. Despite our addiction or inspite of it, I’m certain beyond hope that life holds promise for all of us. We live in what I feel to be the greatest country to have existed on the face of the earth, not because of party politics nor geographical location but because of it’s people, because of all of you, fighting the good fight.
I’ve spent the last few hours reading your posts and feeling a kinship that regardless of our addictions, the spirit of life, love, family, and self lives within all of us. Regardless of our individual journeys we all have the same destination. We are all striving to reach the person who we truly are, the person masked in the lie of addiction. I wish all of you the best in your journey…if you remember just one thing; it’s that your not alone. Thank you all of sharing your many stories, they’ve brought me strength when I thought I had none.

494 Dan { 03.07.11 at 4:01 pm }

This is 2nd post…1st was 08-10…I was clean a week and then back to using (albeit only 20mg perday, it has been about 4 years of legal use). Anywho, I am on day 6 and the fatigue is STILL THERE. WTF ? No RLS, some depression but I increased my Zoloft to 100mg to good effect. I am taking multi-vit/min but nothing else of the Thomas plan. I have my script reorder coming up this Friday and actually thought of calling it in…I got back to this site and am thinking twice…wish me luck!!

495 Dan { 03.07.11 at 4:10 pm }

Hey gonetoolong…are you still around? Just read a bunch of posts to boost my morale…thanks to metoo and Char for their continuing posts. Slimnonomous…youve got more challenges than I…my life has been cake but am still using. Good luck !!

496 Metoo { 03.07.11 at 5:31 pm }

Hey, Dan! Swing over to the “about” thread….there are lots of us ready and waiting to welcome you there, my friend!!! Keep on keepin’ on, and DO NOT CALL IN THE SCRIPT. Think twice about it…and then step away from the phone. The time is now…..

497 shaking head { 03.09.11 at 2:41 pm }

this is my second time replying to this thread, the 1st one i deleted. because like “life” i have been in major denial for a long time. i have been hiding my addiction and have been extremely successful at doing so. i am not as far into the rabbit hole as many of you, when it comes to volume at least. but everything else fits. i have been averaging 4 750mg vicodins/day for over a year and have been steadily taking them for 3 years. before that i was recreationally using them since 8-9 years ago. when i started them as recreation i LOVED them, they were the thing for me. i have always been a social drinker, pot smoker, and have tried most other drugs. but nothing ever was a problem. it was a weekend thing, experimenting and having fun. but then 3 years ago i had surgery and i still have residual effects from that original problem. and honestly i’m not going to say what that problem was-because a part of me is still in major denial. i have not told anyone, EVER, about my problem. those close to me think that i use vicodin as prescribed and a couple of times a week for the pain that i have. and i still do have the pain, but i know that vicodin isn’t needed anymore except for the occasional once every 3 months. 3 years ago i couldn’t take more than 2 a day-i would feel awful and have stomach upset. but the more i took it, the more i could take. and there were days when i would take up to 8 and just be in heaven.
i have been in the “ran out” zone quite a few times and have told myself those times, this is it. this is when i quit doing this. but everytime the restless legs got the best of me and i caved in and found more.
so now it is weds afternoon and my last vicodin was sunday night. i have been experiencing diarrhea, restlessness, AWFUL lethargy, depression, aches and pains. i do have valium which i have been taking, which i hate but seems to help w/ the lack of sleep. i have loss of appetite and my vision is very strange-very glossed over.
it feels good to write this, because i’m getting it out there. i do not want to inform any DRs or family. it sounds horrible, but i fear that one day i may need surgery again and i do not want to be denied pain relief. i do think, perhaps extremely naively, that i have kept a modicum of control over this. not saying i don’t need to stop stop stop, but i just do not want to pigeon hold myself. i’m ashamed that i’ve lost control. and i’m ashamed that i haven’t been living to my potential due to being high for years. and i hate that i am going to miss it. i hate that being just me w/out the constant euphoria is a reason for me not wanting to quit.

498 fragile { 03.09.11 at 8:00 pm }

i am in the same way. keep on life and all otheres, we’ll get past this one.

499 Maryam { 03.17.11 at 1:16 pm }

Hi all please help with moving to the new thread
Everyone moved to the ABOUT THREAD I would love to post my story and get help from all
Of the wonderful people here thanks

500 Maryam { 03.17.11 at 1:21 pm }

I need help I to have a problem with norco and have been reading this treat for 3 days now and need support I think this is a wonderful place filled with great people meetoo and kitty mom and southernmom are so inspiring and I would love to join you guys and everyone else if you will have me thanks not sure how to get to that tread as I am new on here I tried everything but can’t find you guys any help would be great thanks so much

501 Lea { 03.18.11 at 7:10 am }

Heres how I see it with withdrawl and it’s duration. Depending on how much you take and how long you take it, symptoms will start any where from about 4 to 12 hrs after last dose from oxy or vicoden. I know because 6 months ago when I would quit (read got cut off) My symptoms would get noticibly bad by 12 hrs. Now I start aching after about 4. Anyway, About the duration. It is often said 4 days to 2 weeks with the worst peaking in 24-48 hrs. This can be confusing as I’m sure may are anxiouse to know how long they will be suffering. In my experience what this pans out to is as follows: Day 1-3 are really crappy. No sleep due to rls, aches in the bones and mucles diareah, fatigue,sweats, chils, hot flashes etc. Kinda like the flu, depresion, and menopause all rolled in to one. Unfortunatly for me as well as many others, sedatives do nothing for restless legs wich is maddening I swear I’m gonna go loony one of these nights
! Anyhow, day 4 is considerably more tollerable and things continue to improve after that. I’d say actual suffering subsides by then, and you begin with the trudging. Although withdrawl continues for a while, I find that it is much easier comming out of it than it is going in to it. For the next couple of weeks you just continue on the path to feeling more like you each day getting a little better. For most, all symptoms should subside in 2 weeks time. Any residual depression and fatigue is probly a result of A. living high for how ever long in you particular case, and B. Trudging through opiate withdrawl for 2 weeks! If you’ve been living in a false reality for a long time, you will need to retrain your brain to appreciate life without the rush of an opiate. And believe me the apprieciation for life is MUCH sweeter sober, you get to feel good emotionaly every day ( not just when you have acsess to pills! What a fricken ancor!!) Now that you have a clean slate it is a good time to start rebuilding what was lost. Find what helps you appreciate life and embrace it you’ll feel like your self in no time. On a side note for anxiety and depression sufferers like my self, if you’ve been neglecting that aspect of self care you’ll need to take care of that. Medication ( non narcotic) and therapy may be needed for normal brain function. After that You’ll be free and happy and you’ll never have to feel withdrawl again!

502 Kitty Mom { 03.18.11 at 12:23 pm }

Hey folks
Lea, well said – you hit the mark in your description of withdrawal from opiates.
Thanks for posting and we definately welcome new folks on here – people come and they go and some stay for the duration. The folks here helped me and I feel obligated to help whoever I can who are in the same boat here.
MaryAm – to get to the about site – when you sign on there is a right hand column – to the right of this writing – there is an advertisement for some crap up there – and then there are the words “recent posts” Under which are a list of the most recent posts – most are from the “about” page where we hang out. Click on the about next to Kitty Mom, Metoo, Joe, or whoever, and it will take you right to the bottom of that page where all the recent posts are – the other way is on the left hand column on the left of these posts is a subtitle pages and “about” is listed there. Click that on and go to the end of the posts there and you will be there. So – hoping to see you there soon MaryAm so we can start giving you attagirls every day – we are here for you girl.
Love Kitty

503 Kitty Mom { 03.18.11 at 12:26 pm }

Oh – and girls, you can email me at
Love Kitty

504 scott { 03.19.11 at 11:26 am }

ive been on 15-20 30mgs og oxy for over 2yrs now due to car accident that caused a broken back and spleen,was having tremendous pain til i found this drug!! But now i def want to get off this crap it has ruined my life,so im heading out today to get this stuff and have planned to start my detox monday mng!!! im anxious and ready to get my life back!!! ill repost after mon to update my condition,WISH ME LUCK!!!!

505 SubSux14 { 03.22.11 at 12:12 pm }

Hello all! This is my story. I was always the fun, confident guy going around chasing women lol. I was really into body building and working out. I even took steroids when I was 22. I was always the guy that needed a little more than the guy standing next to me. I was also the one that broke all the rules, but maintained a good head on my shoulders (if that makes any sense). I was also the trouble maker in my high school. I was the one your mom wouldn’t let you date. I was always the one that the teachers would talk down on. Yep, that was me. Well, eventually grew out of that immature bullshit and got my shit together. I graduated college from one of the best business schools in the country. I got married to a hot ass 3rd grade teacher. I worked my ass off and got both of my insurance licenses to sell insurance. I work for a great insurance company as I type. I quit getting in trouble with the law and family and friends blah blah blah. Then I was introduced to lortab. Sure, I can do drugs. I’ve done them my whole life, what’s the big deal? When I was 14 I would sneak out of parent’s house, steal their car and drive to downtown Atlanta to go to raves where I would eat acid and ecstasy. What’s a little lortab going to do at 23? Ummmm……You got it, F’ed my whole life up! My girlfriend (Now my wife) and I would take a couple on the weekends and that was it. This continued for a couple of months until I started taking them every day. You know the drill. Well, my wife being the good one completely stopped. She didn’t let it get that far like yours truly. I was taking them every day. At the begging I would take roughly 5-8 lortab 10’a day (The good ones, Blue Watsons). This continued for two years straight until last year I upgraded to roxi 30’s. I was doing on average 200-250mgs a day. I even started selling them to support my $150/day habit SMH. To make a long story short my wife told me it’s her or the pills. So this past December I reached out for help. I went to the doctor to get on suboxone aka the miracle drug…..Yeah right, miracle my ass. Suboxone withdrawal was worse than my DOC in my opinion. Talk about anxiety, Jesus H Christ I had panic attacks for weeks coming off that stuff! It’s a great drug UNTIL ITS TIME TO STOP! That’s a whole other story and again that’s just my opinion and everyone has their own about suboxone. Anyway, the suboxone withdrawal was so bad I picked up lortab again. I just couldn’t take the withdrawals anymore. The depression, anxiety, not sleeping, basically being a walking turd all day, y’all know how it feels. So where I’m at today is four months clean of Roxi and one month clean of suboxone. I’m currently taking only 30mgs of lortab a day just to get by. I won’t take anymore than that and I don’t even do it for the feeling anymore. My life sucks! I will be a slave to pain pills for the rest of my life. Even if I quit my low dose at 30mgs, I’m going to feel like slug for three months. I can’t afford to be a depressed jerk-off for the next couple of months. I have a career, wife, and home to maintain and I can’t do it without the pills. When I don’t have pills I don’t sleep, eat, concentrate, laugh, sex, nothing. I’m a walking nothing. I’m sorry for the long rant but any support or help would be greatly appreciated. Any tips or advice would help my situation. I just feel so hopeless I don’t know what to do. I thought I grew out of this stage in my life, but I was wrong. I’m 27 years old now and thank you for any help you send my way.

506 Stopping now { 03.22.11 at 12:41 pm }

Well this is the time that I am making my decision to stop. I have been taking 5 of the 10/500 Lortabs per dose for the past year and a half. My grades are slipping and I need to stop for the sake of my children. On my way to pick up Xanax for anxiety. I have a hip and back problem but I will just have to tough it out. I will keep everyone posted as I progress. Hour one starts now!

507 Pinkerton { 03.22.11 at 2:28 pm }

I have been taking apprx 3-4 vics per day for around two years. Started innocently for back pain and then here and there for recreational purposes and then one day I woke up and realized that I need at least 3 to function per day. I have tried weening off and gotten down to two per day but then as soon as I get a refill, I over do it and take 5-6 per day until I am forced to cut back to two per day. I am down to 16 pills and plan on going off of them cold turkey thursday. Since I know I am going off of them I have been taking 6 for the last 5 days cause I figure why not have one last fling. Is this dangerous? What should I expect during w/d? I have two children and work full time and figured that taking Thurs, Fri, Sat, and Sun off should give me enough time to get through the worst of the detox and get back to work. Any thoughts or feedback will be so appreciated.

I am so tired of these pills controlling my life and I just want to stop depending on them. I am afraid of the detox and worried about the dangers with it, so if someone can let me know if it’s ok to go cold turkey I would feel less anxiety.

Thank you and this website has helped me find the courage to do this!

508 Kitty Mom { 03.22.11 at 6:50 pm }

Sub, stopping now, and scott and maryam on the about site.
All of you are facing a detox per your posts. I wish you all the very best and the best advice I can give you and I understand exactly what you are going through with anxiety about quiting and the feeling that you do not know who you will be without the pills. I felt the exact same way six months ago when I came to this site two days before I took my last pills. I was taking about 12 pills per day and I was taking them just not to feel sick – no longer for the feeling they originally provided. Don’t feel like it is impossible to have happened to you at any age. I am a mature woman with a grown daughter and never in my life did I think I would become addicted to freakin pills. Walla – I ended up scoring from multiple places and spending a fortune on pills each month.
Well, back to the advice – YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO TAKE PILLS – one day at a time – one hour at a time – one minute at a time and the worst will be over in about a week. You will come out of it the same person but better. Definately, the THOMAS recipe with the vitamins and minerals and potassium and whatever else is listed here and on other sites will help. Hot showers will help – support will help – it is possible because there are people on this site who have done it that were into it as bad or worse. My life was a complete wreck and I probably was on the verge of being put away some where for double dipping or having multiple doctors for the same medication.
Any how, let us know how you are doing and good luck. I will include you all in my daily prayers.

509 Kitty Mom { 03.22.11 at 7:05 pm }

Wow – I hope I don’t miss anyone and if I do I am sorry
Pinkerton – Please read my last posts to the rest of the folks here – they are for you also. There is always danger in taking more pills than prescibed, but all of us are guilty of having done it – in the short run I think you will be all right – not too healthy for the liver though. I did the same thing – took more for several days and having to cut back because I was always running out. I was waking upo in the middle of the night with withdrawals every single day because my body needed the pills. I only have an occasional craving with them now mainly in the mind – body no longer has cravings. If there is anything I can do for any of you, please e-mail or post on here. I will try my best to help in any way I can.
Good Luck

510 Pinkerton { 03.23.11 at 2:30 am }

Kitty Mom,
Thank you for your words of encouragement. It feels wierd to read the posts for awhile and then decide for yourself to stop and then actually type your story out and get a response….it has somehow made this all very real and it solidifies my conviction to stop tonight. I’m taking the following four days off, have 2 big bunches of bananas, the L-Tyrosine and B6, immodium, and 2 gal of gatorade. I have the kids clothes washed and ironed and any other needs they may have prepared ahead of time.

I am scared but as long as I know I will come out the other side ok, I can withstand it….I think :) Good luck to everyone else and I hope you get as much inspiration as I have from this site.

Thank you, Pinkerton

511 Metoo { 03.23.11 at 4:38 am }

You can do it, Pinkerton!!!! You have yourself ‘set up for success’ as I like to say! Go head first into doing the right thing, Pinkerton, and you will SOON be out the other side of this addiction. I have faith in you, and you can do this!!!!
Keep your chin up and POST, POST, POST~~~~it helps!!!!! We are here for you every step of the way!!!!! :)

Prayers are coming your way….

512 Pinkerton { 03.24.11 at 2:50 am }

Thanks Metoo and Kitty Mom. I took my last pill at 9pm last night (took 7 altogether yesterday) and so far so good. I have to take my kids to school but have arranged for someone to pick them up, get them dinner, and bring them home. Tomorrow, I need to take them and pick them up, and I’m hoping I’m not as sick as some who are unable to get out of bed. However, I figure that if I can’t get my kids to school one day, but get healthy, it is worth it. If I wait….well, there is always another reason to wait. ie. baseball practice, piano, birthday party…I need to just do when being sick will cause minimal disruption.

I feel like I’m in a waiting game. Waiting for the storm to hit. Thanks for your support! It means alot because my two closest friends, who really want me to succeed, don’t understand and can’t seem to say or do the right things. I know it’s just me suffering from anxiety, but I so need to talk with people who have been through this.

Much love and respect, Pinkerton

513 Metoo { 03.24.11 at 5:04 am }

Hey, Pinkerton…in regard to your taxi system, it just might do you some good to HAVE TO get out and do something like that. There were many detoxes that I didn’t even know what they were….I was just mad because I didn’t have any pills and had to go on anyway…..and I never missed a day of work either. So, hopefully, you can have an easy time of it~you never know! I will be praying, so please keep checking in!!!!

514 Jamie { 03.24.11 at 5:16 am }

I’m with Metoo, I think it’s better to have something you HAVE to do, because with me I had absolutely nothing to do and the time just dragged on and on. One minute felt like one hour. But after a few days when I felt good enough I made myself start walking my dogs again and that helped so much. So my advice would be to make yourself do things, because odds are you aren’t gonna want or feel like doing anything, just push yourself!

515 Pinkerton { 03.24.11 at 5:49 am }

Metoo and Jamie, your advice has really reduced my anxiety about taking care of my kids’ needs. I am up and working on the computer doing work related stuff and plan pushing it as long as I can.
As I said, I am waiting for the sickness to kick in but I only feel lethargic and slightly nauseated. Any thoughts on what to expect. It’s been about 12 hrs since my last one…when does the worst part of detox start? 24hrs, 48hrs???
Thank you so much!!

516 Metoo { 03.24.11 at 6:13 am }

It will be about 24 hours I THINK for it to start. Ok, so how about this for a plan????
IGNORE IT. Don’t wait for it, just stay AHEAD of it???!!! Instead of waiting for it to hit, keep going headstrong in spite of it. START TAKING ALL OF YOUR DETOX MEDS NOW…get those potassiums in you especially!!! Did you get potassium supplements??? For me, the RLS was the worst, and the potassium supplements KNOCK RLS OUT. Take about 4 of those supps every day, spaced throughout the day. Stay ahead of the storm! Get your emotional balance too~~don’t be anxious about it, be PRO ACTIVE and get angry at the pills. Get your emotions UP….do you get where I’m coming from?

517 Pinkerton { 03.24.11 at 6:27 am }

Yes, you are so right, I am sitting here biting my nails thinking that “I’m gonna create issues if I don’t stop worrying about them!” I have eaten 3 bananas today and have two big bunches. I have the b6 and l-tyrosine, I will start that right now along with my multi-vitamen.

I am angry at the pills and feel disgusted by the thought of even looking at one…which is a blessing. I am not longing to take one and I hope I continue to feel this repulsed by the whole mess!!

You and the others are such a blessing to me and because of this website I have decided to take my life back!

518 Metoo { 03.24.11 at 6:56 am }

Yep, THAT’S THE SPIRIT!!! Get tough and mad! It’s time to take your life back!!! I can hear your determination in your words, Pink! Stay on top of it, and don’t let the fear get under your skin. You are going to win this war, and PLEASE TELL YOURSELF THAT IN THE MIRROR. Do some pep talks in the mirror, and you will see what a difference that can make!

519 Pinkerton { 03.25.11 at 1:06 am }

Well it’s been about 32 hrs since my last pill and things haven’t been too bad. Body aches, RLS, and overall feeling of discomfort. I was able to sleep about six hours last night with the help of a few valium…tried not to take them but anxiety got the best of me around 7pm. Fortunately, I am not tempted to take a vic …. for some reason my mind isn’t associating them with relief. I am also taking the b6 and L-Tyronsine and eating lots of bananas. Having 32 hrs under my belt sure feels good!!

I have alot of stuff to do today, mild stuff like taking the kids to school, car to mechanic, piano lessons, and I think I will be able to accomplish all of this. I was really afraid at first that my life would come to a screaching halt without them…but it didn’t! For me so far it’s as uncomfortable as functioning after you have had the flu but aren’t quit well…you have low energy, head & body aches, etc. but you’re not laid up on the couch with a burning fever unable to do anything but lay there. I write this for those who may be considering detox but have the same fears I had. It’s different for everyone but this has been my experience so far. I’m only 32 hrs in so let’s see how today goes :)

520 Pinkerton { 03.25.11 at 3:01 am }

BTW, the advise that Metoo and Jamie gave me regarding getting up and moving turned out to be right on the money. I felt like canceling the car appt and just taking my son to school and bringing my other home (pre-school) so I didn’t have to go back and pick him up. But, I got a hot shower, put on some make-up and blow dried my hair and I feel like a new person. I don’t feel as yucky and more like a real human being again. It’s funny, yesterday I almost resented everyone who called me because I wished that I was them….felling good and drug free….and today I feel like I am ready to join the rest of the world again. Still feel weak and sore but overall I’m ready to do a few things.

521 Metoo { 03.25.11 at 4:41 am }

Actually, Pinkerton, after the second night, (mostly RLS was my problem…) I was in the clear with the physical withdrawal symptoms. Then it switched for me to the mental part~cravings and depression. So, who knows what might be next for you. Keep your chin up, you are doing just GREAT!!!!! Keep up the great work!!!

522 Pinkerton { 03.25.11 at 6:30 am }

Metoo, do you mean you were in the clear with the physical withdrawl in 24hrs? I still feel achy and weak but ok otherwise. Very little diarea and no throwing up (which was my worst fear). I did my errands and even went to breakfast with a friend and bought some potassium supps – hopefully tonight won’t be so bad with RLS…YIKES! I really hope the worst is over, but I guess one never knows.

I was thinking that maybe this is God’s way of helping, the detox that is, because if I just stopped the Vicodins and went from a euphoric state to reality, I think it would be hard to adjust. However, I think that I will feel so grateful when this is all over, I’ll appreciate just feeling better.

523 Metoo { 03.25.11 at 8:03 am }

YES!!! You bought potassium supps!!!!! THAT’S THE TICKET!!!! I am no doctor, but I would say that you should take about 4 of the supps today….taking one at bedtime, and the others throughout the day.
Before I knew what withdrawal actually was, when I ran out of pills, I noticed that the first night I would be fine, (if it was within the 24 hours since my last pill) and that then the SECOND night I had RLS like crazy. I didn’t realllllllllly have the other symptoms of withdrawal~~I was just pissed off that I didn’t have any more pills~~and the RLS was the only bad thing there was for me, other than a pissy, sour mood. SO I think that if you can cop an ATTITUDE, and take lots of potassium, you can have this thing beat, easy…..seriously. It IS mind over matter for some of us! It sounds like you are a lot like me in your withdrawal symptoms.

Keep me posted on how you’re doing!!!! I am proud of how you are handling this so far!!!!!! You’re knocking the socks off this one! :)

524 Metoo { 03.25.11 at 8:07 am }

Hey, also, Pinkerton….IF you experience anxiety, the L-Tyrosine might NOT be the way to go. I am prone to anxiety myself, so I didn’t use L-Ty more than a couple times, because I could never feel it rev me up anyway. Rather, it would be good for you to get some Yerba Mate…drink a couple cups of that in the morning to get energy. IT IS YUMMY!!!! And it has loads of anti-oxidants too!!! Available in lots of places, and you can make it like a tea, or, I just put it in my coffee maker! It’s my daily drink, and I love it. I haven’t been sick in well over a year now….thanks to kratom and yerba!

525 Pinkerton { 03.25.11 at 9:49 am }

Thanks, I’ll look into the Yerba and give it a try. Thank you for all the support and it really helps to keep me going. I feel like it’s important to let people know that it isn’t a horrifying experience because I would hear stories that would scare me away from even attempting to detox…and weening myself off was a joke and just put myself in constant state of misery. Keep in mind, my dose never got over 100 pills in one month…how I distributed those pills varied, so I would take around 6-8 per day the first week and have to taper down to 2 – 2.5. When I decided that this Thursday was the day, I went all out with 7 per day for about 2wks. BUT, I did use for about 3 yrs straight. So maybe my withdrawls aren’t too bad because of the quantity. I dont’ know but I do think that the stories I heard on this site were the deciding factor for me. I’m only in day two and I feel decent. I know the road ahead is long and I’m ready.

I just want to say to someone who is out there, trying to decide, afraid to take that step, TAKE IT!! It’s not that bad, considering the payoff. If you are like some of the others who have taken 20 – 100 per day, I’m not talking to you because I don’t know what will happen first hand, but for those of you who have a similar story to mine, IT’s NOT THAT BAD. Yes, it is uncomfortable and at times it down right sucks but it is nothing to shy away from.

Love, Pinkerton

526 Metoo { 03.25.11 at 10:37 am }

^^^^^^^^And SHE’S on day 2, folks!!!!! It’s supposed to be close to it’s worst today, and look at how well she’s doing! IT CAN BE DONE!! Pinkerton, what’s your plan for sleep preparation tonight???

527 Pinkerton { 03.25.11 at 1:21 pm }

Thanks Metoo, but you are too kind :) I am having body aches and feel yucky but I am trying to stay focused. I plan on taking another postassium supp and a couple valium and maybe 1-2 beers before bed. Last night I took two valium before bed and had a beer, woke up about 1pm and took two more valium and slept a little longer. After my errands this morning, I took two valiums and slept for a couple of hours and then ran some errands and plan on taking the kids to their piano lessons now. I am now having severe chills and aches and feel sharp pains in my legs and feel very weak. Hopefully tonight won’t be sleepless, I’m prepared for that possibility and look forward to the day that I don’t feel this way anymore.

One thing I thought of today as I started (just this afternoon) thinking about how good it would feel to be high, was to take it one obstacle at a time. I was trying to figure out how I was going to enjoy life without being high when I realized that I need to get past the detox and then focus on life after vics.

528 Kitty Mom { 03.25.11 at 7:29 pm }

Pink -that was by biggest fear of all – not the pain, the anxiety, the suffering – but who would I be without the pills – I was used to doing everything = everything with 2 or three pills – sometimes 4 – but I found myself and since the vicious cycle of pill taking is over – I am even better off than before…still a little social anxiety but I think I was that way before the pills….It is a NEW KIND OF NORMAL AND I LOVE IT PINKERTON!!
Hang in there – the attitude is everything in this ball game and you have a great one!

529 Pinkerton { 03.26.11 at 2:15 am }

Kitty Mom, Good to know that feeling of loss will go away. The problem for me is that I really enjoyed everything when I was on them more than when I was not. I enjoyed my kids (had more patience), my job, social activities, and I remember what I was like before. I used to get bored very easily. However, I just got tired of the rat race and the anxiety of running out and worrying what they were doing to my body (liver)….not to mention the money dumped down the drain and the unreliability of the source.

I’m 57 hrs clean and had a rough night with RLS but the valiums helped. I am beginning to dread nightfall. I am experiencing the diarhia now, which I find strange because I thought it would have started yesterday..oh well, and feel a little beat up. I’m ready for this to be over now, ha ha, so the w/d just need to stop. I don’t know how people do it who have been taking huge amounts…my go of it hasn’t been that rough and I’m already tired of it. I considered for the first time taking one (I have eight left) to sleep, but quickly put it out of my mind. I am keeping them because I need to prove to myself that I can walk away from them even if they are available, just like I did with cigarettes. I kept a pack and never, and still never have, smoked one cigarette. I probably always have an opportunity to score so whether they are in my house or a phone call away, they are still there.

My kids are home today and they are, believe it or not, a big help considering they are 5 yrs and 8yrs. They actually help with the cleaning, sorting laundry, etc. They think I just don’t feel good and babied me last night after piano…so sweet and made me realize how lucky I am.

530 Jamie { 03.26.11 at 2:49 am }

I am the same way, Pink. Anytime I’ve ever quit anything I had to have it there around me somewhere. With alcohol I had a bottle of Jack unopened sitting in my desk, same with when I quit tobacco. For myself I had to know I could quit with the addiction still staring me in the face, if that makes any sense. I think if you can pull it off and not slip up, it makes your quitting all the stronger. Knowing you had the willpower to not fall back on your old ways, having those pills is a sense of security for you right now, same with the cigarettes. They’re there just in case you need them. But it’s also a dangerous move, so be careful. Every time I had pills around since I decided to quit, I ended up taking them. But you seem to be in a better place and more determined than I was, so I’m thinking you can do it just fine, my advice though is DON’T, no matter what, don’t slip up. Forget all the physical things, because when you slip up that ain’t shit, it’s the mental and emotional berating you do to yourself that’s not worth it.

Anyway, just wanted to add my little bit for the day. You seem to be doing great, keep up the good work!

531 Kitty Mom { 03.26.11 at 3:06 am }

Jamie – I see an encouraging side of you girl and am so proud of you – just look at you – now you are cheering Pink on and in doing so, you are reaffirming that you are on the path of getting there yourself. I enjoy seeing this side of you…and hearing about your triumphs of quiting alcohol and tobacco – makes me all the more sue that you CAN stay off the vicodin too if you rmind is set to do it…Love you girl!

Pink – I hear you on the anxiety of worrying about the liver – I stll worry about the liver and I am six months clean. Everytime my rib cage hurts, I think it is my liver…haha! But my blood work come out clean so I guess I am OK….I know what you mean about feeling that you are more productive on pills – I was like that too and at first it was hard getting through the days – time seemed to stand still – and nights were the worst – sleep aluded me for a while….but hey, here to tell you that is is completely gone now – Normal is Normal again…all worth it my friend.
If you start posting over on the about page of this site – we usually hang there more – Hope to see you here – enjoy your company.

532 Metoo { 03.26.11 at 5:58 am }

Hey, ladies!! Checking in to see how the night went for Pinkerton…and I am glad to see that things are well! Pink, they DO make detox teas too~~that might be a good way to go to refresh your liver…just a thought. Might as well do it all at once!! I have been taking Niacin every day to help clean myself out~and the niacin flush is a great thing! Google it if you are interested in that…it’s pretty interesting!
Glad to see that all is well here! Now, I’m off to ‘about’! Have a great weekend, everyone!! HANG IN THERE PINKERTON!!!! You’ve GOT THIS!!!! :D The restless legs should ease tonight, but another thought~~try to think of it as when your legs get restless, it’s your body going through the final stages of getting the poison out of your system….try to massage your legs for awhile and pray the poison out….gone once and for all….

533 windbourne { 03.27.11 at 2:52 am }

Hi, Here is another new one. I’ve been on 3-5 lortab 7.5/500 for 2 years and ran out yesterday. Zero support from anyone. Live down here in southern MS from Philadelphia PA. Was given these for clenching jaw. I’m furious that I am down here now and have been taking these to survive this place. I’m almost 24 hours since I had one and am completley out. Have been fitful all night. I’m hoping that I will even find the supplements in the Thomas recipe as we have no shopping around here. I am in this giant neighborhood that is not self sufficient and have to drive for miles to even get to a Walmart. I’m too weak to explain why I am down here at the moment. Husbands job etc. He is being a horror about this anyway and says it’s my own fault I got so bad. WHat sucks is the Dr that gives me them said to try and make them last the 30 days. He gives me 70. Well the pharmacy recording rang me in 23 days to say they will be ready and I kept checking to make sure. Yes,yes 70 at 2-3 a day willb e ready. SO I fininished off what I had methodically saved and in I walk and the pharma wouldn’t give it to me saying the had made a mistke. SO now I’m cold turkey for 12 days. They screw up and then non chalantly(sp) tell me to just go to the ER for some more. So I pay thougsnands just to be told no by some ER. The ER’s around here are run by uneducated farm children and bar tenders the locals tell me. If I want to die go to a country hospital. Oh man, as you can tell I am feeling absolutley awful. I still have xanax and ambien both of which did nothing last night. Usually with one of each I sleep right through. Of course I have no job to keep my mind off this. I graduated from Tulane which is supposed to be one of there finest universities but you can guess that any job I’m applying for I am interviewed by 9th grade drop outs where flip flops. All we have here is casinos anyway. I get told I’m too mature for the job. In fact one interviewer said “I’d marry you yesterday but you’re too prim to work here” Reported to the college. They are livid, nothing I can do I just don’t fit in around here. No snob appeal from me. I couldn’t feel worse with the 40 lbs that I have gained since living here.
Anyway, back on topic. Please tell me I will survive this. Not sure about the L-Tyrosine as I’m hyper at best and Dr’s tell me to stay away from stimulents. But please tell me this will pass as I sit alone in this house day in day out by myself. Husband goes off eveyday to his executive job that MY Father got him and plays that stock market so therefore brings in zero money. Amazing I paid for us to go to San Diego last week and everyone was so happy and proactive I didn’t even think about the lortabs. But living here I live for them. I’m almost wiped out of money anyway and see no way of ever moving from here.Husband says he hates it here but his actions spek much louder than words.
Oh God, you guys tell this settles down. I am miserable.
How are you doing Pinkerton, you seem to be on your way Congratulations! You’re ahead of me so I will follow you here for encouragement. I’m sending you positive thoughts just to add to the strength that the others have been giving you while I sit here sweating to death in bed wishing I could just sleep in night one knowing tha I’m going to feel worse before I get better.Oh God.
Thanks for reading, every one. If spelling is shot you know why, right. Oh this weakness. grrrrrrrrrrr

534 windbourne { 03.27.11 at 3:59 pm }

Onday 2. And feel awful. Here’s a laugh for everyone. Went all the way to Walmart to get the Thomas supplies and the car wouldn’t start when I came out. Great, diahrea and this happens. Well had to buy new battery to get home. Now in bed. But is something happening? I had a few replies to my posts and they have disapeared? Am I not alowd on this thread. Help!!!

535 DDoubles { 03.28.11 at 4:21 pm }

Windbourne- Good luck to you and I wish you all the luck in beating this. For everyone else, Next wednesday is my stoping day. I already have those days off and my wife does too. Im not afraid of the pain, but my anxiety being worse. I think my anxiety is bad now because I worry about being a pill head. Maybe after I’m clean I’ll start to feel better and my anxiety will decrease. What do y’all think? I have 15 ativan .5 for d-week lol. Do yall think I’ll be ok if I take two ativans a day for a week or will I suffer from ativan withdrawals? May good be with yall and Ill keep yall posted next week. I’m actually excited to quit this monster which Ive never been before!

536 Beth { 03.29.11 at 3:03 am }

Hey guys! I love this site…so much love and support!! I’ve been in a controlled state of W/D for several weeks…tapering down. Currently @ 1 7.5 at 6 am and 1 1/2 in the p.m.. In addition to the Thomas Recipe I put (this may sound funny) Vicks vapor rub on the bottom of my feet and sleep with socks on…it seems to help with that icky hot/sweaty feeling when I wake up. My children’s pediatrician says to do that for them when they’re sick…so I figured why not? Magnesium/Potassium/ ibuprofen 800 = no leg cramps now, St. Johns Wort 2xs/ day = no snappines, melatonin @ nite and benzos when I get ahold of them but NOT every nite. Immodium AD as needed. Tried CT a few months ago while at 120 mg/day of Roxy…not possible with 3 children. Made it 2 days. Decided to go to hydros only and start the taper with them. It’s been slow going and some days are better than others…but anything is better than chasing down those stupid OC’s. We live on the GA/FL line so they were so accessible. I absolutely loathe opiates. Looking forward to total freedom!!!

537 Michelle { 03.29.11 at 11:37 am }

I have patrolled some of these sights for a while and am finally posting to one. I have back problems and have been on vics for almost two years. After finally getting fed up from asking my doctor to taper me off, being told to wait and see (wait for what btw?) and trying to taper off on my own, I quit cold turkey. I was taking 4-10 of the 7.5/750′s for over a year and I was ready to be off this crap. It has been horrible but I am now at day 7 and hopefully starting to feel human. I left my doctor so I had no one to go to for a sedative, so the insomnia and diarrhea have been what have really been killing me. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP! LOL Hopefully soon it will start to get a little better. I slept about 4 hours last night so here’s hoping!

538 DDoubles { 03.30.11 at 9:02 am }

Here I am. Day 2 without anything. I broke down crying and told my parents my horrible three year secret. I never want to like that again. Im not really expierencing that bad of physical yet, but the boredom and depression are crippling. Is this normal and does this go away?

539 Kitty Mom { 03.30.11 at 12:47 pm }

Hey Y’all
Man, I am sorry I missed some of your posts here and please do not be discouraged by it. Most of us hang out on the page called “about” on this site and if your all post over there, we will see you and respond right away.
Windbourne, DDoubkes, Beth, Michelle
Sounds like you are all in the beginnings of detox and are asking if it will get better – I can say for a fact that it definatly gets better. I am almost 7 months clean and back at the beginning I thought all the sames things that you are thinking and feeling – the sickness, the not knowing how to be without the help of the freaking pills – please ont dispair…you will get through it and be a new kind of normal – the last to return will be the sleep – but it will return…IT WILL – believe me.
So, I am praying for all of you and if you will just post over on the other page, like I said, we will be there and support you…lots of us that are clean and willing the help.
Love to all of you in your pain and despair – get better soon

540 Lori { 03.30.11 at 1:31 pm }


Just wanted to let those that are just starting the detox thing that yes, it is hell for about a week or so. I am going on almost three months clean and if it wasn’t for the About site, I would have thrown in the towel. For days I read all the old posts and realized I wasn’t alone. Knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel was huge. The first ten days or so every minute seemed like an hour and anxiety was high and I had only two hours sleep per night. Kitty Mom, Joe, and others kept telling me to hang in there and I did. So I just want you all to know it is possible. I had a vicodin and oxy habit for almost ten years and I went off cold turkey.

I did not want to get hooked on other drugs on my detox so the only over the counter meds I used were ibuprofen, immodium(LOTS OF THAT IN MY CASE), and benadryl to help sleep which helped after about the tenth day. Have lots of gatorade and the like around and use the thomas recipie. It helps a lot.

I praise you all so much because I know how hard it is to start the journey but I am so much happier now and I know you will be to.

Best Wishes,

541 Pinkerton { 03.30.11 at 2:58 pm }

Windbourne, I’ m so sorry I didn’t read this thread as I switched over to the about page and for some reason came over and read your post. My heart goes out to you…I so wish you didn’t suffer loneliness and ridicule on top of this terrible process…no-one deserves that! Know that I am praying for you and that you are never alone. How are you doing now?? Please post and let me know, I feel such empathy for you. It will be harder for you, I think, because you are so isolated. BUT, you will get through this, you will!! I know that right now you are probably unable to focus on anything and that is ok, but when you feel better, find something, anything that brings you joy and do it! Join an organization that you believe in whether it’s a church, gym, volunteer work, whatever and get busy.

As for me, I’m on day 7 and still feel like I have the flu. I posted on the about page that I still have diarea, chills, upset stomach, and overall feeling of discomfort. I just keep in my mind that I want to remember how this feels and associate pain with what I found pleasure. Everytime I feel sick I look at the vics I have and associate them with the discomfort. The 4th day was the worst for me and the 5th was much better (even without sleep) but then 6 & 7 have been rough. I did sleep better last night and only took 1.5 valiums to sleep and slept all night.

Also, baby yourself. I have been indulging in things that I have restricted myself from due to a weight loss effort, but I haven’t had much of an appetite so whatever sounds good, I eat it!! :) Yesterday I had a blizzard for lunch and pizza and hot wings for dinner – I know, weird for someone who doesn’t have an appetite but I’d have to be dead to not have an appetite for wings…lol. Tonight I had a Big Mac…yummy!! I only have a appetite in the evening. Anyway, there is always time to get back on the diet…a couple weeks of indulgence (if it helps raise your spirits and gets food in your belly) won’t kill you…the pills might. I just keep telling myself that just when I should be feeling better the weather will be warm (NE Ohio) and that always makes me feel happy.

Please take care of yourself and DON”T GIVE IN TO THE PAIN AND SADNESS!! God bless you. Pinkerton

542 Jelly { 03.31.11 at 2:21 pm }

I made a plan, doing a video diary. I took my last dose at 4pm. I am now going to the drug store to get everything I need. Thank God I have the next 10 days. Here I go. I need to do this. I don’t want this anymore (80mg Ox cocktailed with 15mg Hydro for last 2 years) I want me back to be a great wife and mother. I have been sooo selfish. I hope it’s not too late to redeem myself.

543 DDoubles { 03.31.11 at 7:55 pm }

I’m 72 hrs in and I played a freaking softball game tonight hahahahahaha. My dad and brother both knew too. I’m a crazy SOB. I might not feel like a million bucks, but getting my natural smile and laugh back feels so damn good! I find myself smiling in detox WTF. Granted I did taper fom $150 dollar a day roxy habit to about four five lortabs a day. That def helped and I just hated the sick feeling of vic so I jumped and I feel great! well not great but f’ it and f pain pills.

544 nick { 04.01.11 at 11:07 pm }

thanx for the advice… im gonna try it 150%, i just wanna quit but the WDs are taking a lot out of me. i had a major carwreck that broke 4 vertibrae, my collarbone, cut off my left ear, brpoke my wrist, multiple ribs on both sides, punctured my lungs, severed thousands of nerves n my shoulder, muscle damage all around my shoulder blade, and major abrasions all over my body from flying 141 ft. from my vehicle, and broke my jaw in two places that were bolted bak together… a lot of pain but i dont want to WD n e more because of overscheduling at my pain dr. n e one have advice, i only have a ten day window to pull this off.

545 Opsamk { 04.03.11 at 4:33 am }

To battle the depression and anxiety, chew on Kanna. Kanna is a powerful antidepressant that can keep your mood up for days even after cold turkey. All you have to do is get a piece of chewing gum, measure out 150 mg of raw kanna and chew on it until it loses flavor. Here is my source of Kanna which sells 1oz for only $14. 1 oz of kanna is about a 60 day supply.


This stuff seriously kicks withdrawal depression/anxiety in the ass.

546 mkcmom { 04.05.11 at 8:17 am }

I can’t believe I’m posting on this website but I need all the help I can get. I have been on 10/660 6/day for several years. I’m cutting down gradually and on day 3 of only taking 2/day. I’m ready to get myself back. Please send encouraging words…this is difficult but I’m determined this time.

547 Kitty Mom { 04.06.11 at 2:04 pm }

Good for you – you can do it – I did not see your post unitl just now so sorry about that. You are right about getting yourself back – that is the best thing about exiting the drug world – you DO get your self back – a better self for that matter – please keep on posting and let us know how you are doing – this is the place fpr support…Take Care and post

548 neverending { 04.07.11 at 12:51 am }

I was on 16 tramadol a day and that was just to keep me awake and productive, no longer did it give me any sort of motivation or energy/high. I just decided to go cold turkey and I am on day 6 and I know I’m going to be fine, the RLS is pretty bad and I have had terrible sleep the past week but that will soon pass. I think the key thing is to to realize you can be naturally happy without them, and the come down from years of abuse will make your brain feel certain it will never be happy again without the little guys. It’s just the brain going through withdrawals and it does pass, it will pass. I basically went from maybe speaking 10 words the first day of my detox to now the only symptom I have is RLS. Stay motivated and force yourself to accept that the depression isn’t real, it is a temporary side affect as your body fights to fix itself. AND IT WILL HEAL ITSELF! Human body is very remarkable, gl to all of you.

549 toughguy502 { 04.11.11 at 6:26 am }

This is new for me. 5yrs of 4-10 Lortab 10′s a day and until now, Ive never wanted or tried to stop. Always felt “tough enough ” to handle this thing….Wrong!!!! The dollar amount has become astounding and I cant keep Explaining Away the financial lack to my friends and family. Just a night without has meant no sleep, the runs, and a severe attitude. its only been 12 hrs since the last pill and for now, Im ok. I dropped to 7.5′s two days ago and have been Edgish since. My Entire supply comes off the streets and I dont wanna do this anymore. All the posts and information have been very helpful and its given me the strength to get well Thanks!!!

550 fatigued { 04.11.11 at 3:09 pm }

I thought I would come back and post after first coming here a year ago. A lot of people disagree with the method I took to get off the vics, but hell it worked and I actually have money in the bank now haha
I bought some suboxone off the street .. usually get $10 for an 8mg pill (sometimes I could only find subutex sp?, but it works the same) .. that will easilly last you at least a week .. probably 2 if you do it right. Now I snorted them (not gonna lie) as I could make them last longer that way and thus easier on the wallet. I can handle $10 a week on a habit..
I did not feel any withdrawls and just felt “normal” .. now of course I didn’t over do it either. I stayed on them for about 9 months and I must say that the last 6 months of that was probably more mental than physical addiction. The reason I say that is because I found myself forgetting to dose and feeling fine .. got to the point one weekend where I said screw it and Friday morning was my last .. I basically wanted to see if I could make it till Monday. Felt a little run down and tired Saturday and Sunday and dragged a bit the next week, but seriously people it was nothing compared to the vic withdrawls. Couple vitamins probably would have cured it easy along with a cup of coffee. The thing with the subs is that you only take what you need to feel normal .. nothing more. It does take about 30 minutes or so before it kicks in and you feel it, but a very small amount and your good. I probably could have kicked the whole habit in 2-3 months if I had actually been committed, but part of it was the fear of not being able to function at work, so even when I felt normal I still took a little “just to be sure”. My thinking was that even if I did get addicted to them .. $10 a week was a hell of a lot better than $100+ a week. Well that’s my story and just so everyone knows .. I was taking around 5-7 lortab 10′s a day and then had just upgraded to 10mg Opana which I started snorting 1-2 a day for 2 months before I just couldn’t do it anymore. Just wanted to give everyone an idea of what my habit was. Will warn you first though .. wait till you are in withdrawl to the point where you just can’t stand it any longer before dosing on the subs otherwise it will make you sick as hell .. fair warning on that. As always be careful and make your own decisions after doing your own research into the subject, but this worked wonders for me and I did it with little withdrawls .. for what it’s worth…I’m sober now .. well I still smoke my good pot. There are some habits that are not meant to be kicked :)
Peace and good luck!

551 Kitty Mom { 04.15.11 at 2:46 pm }
552 Nadine { 04.22.11 at 1:56 am }

I have on and off of Oxi’s since December 2009. I had dipped in to them once in a while before hand (maybe once every 2 months or so) but it never became a problem until I went through I a terrible point in my life. When I took and still take the pills I feel numb. I don’t care how shitty my life is and surprisingly I seem to function quite well. I have a really good job, I have a son who is 6 and who is my world. But I each day I get up and I look at him and I hate myself for taking so much away from him. My whole life revolves around these things. How could I make him go without so that I can sniff pills up my nose? How could I be so selfish? I would do anything for him, but when I say that it seems to be a lie because the truth is my pills come before him. I am ashamed to admit it but I have to in order for me to get off of these things. I started using everyday when my boyfriend left me. We where together for several years and I just could not cope that he needed to figure out what he wanted. Meaning he needed to leave and go fuck around with his crazy ex girlfriend in order to find out what he wanted in life (I should note that I did not even know what an Oxi was until I met him. He was on Methadone and this too I did not know until several months into dating. Not blaming him for this, but it pisses me off that he ever told me about these things.) I tortured myself and stuck around while he would go back and forth. He was always honest with me and I did understand he needed to see if things would work with her and if he really did still care for her or else he would always question this and would not be able to have a normal relationship. He found out I was using everyday and he did feel he was the one at fault and he tried to so hard to get me off of them. He suggested Methadone since he is on it and has been for 5 years (And I dont know how the fuck he will ever get off of it) but I did not want to go down that road. To me Methadone is just the government getting their hands in on the drug industry. Replacing one drug with another but you get it dispensed from a pharmacy. And most people I know on it stay at such a low dose so that they can still get high when they take their oxi’s and when they have to go without they do not have any withdrawals. That makes a fuck of a lot of sense. Ya no.. He tried helping me ween off of them, giving me small amounts throughout the day. That ended up with us fighting non-stop. Then just before May 2-4 Weekend I broke down. He was no longer talking to me because I was destructive and out of control. I took my son to daycare one morning and he threw a little bit of a fit. I was stressed out and late for work (like always) and I was getting extremely frustrated with him. So I took him outside of the Daycare room and tried to get him to stop. He said I was a bad Mommy and I lost it. I almost hit him. What stopped me was the daycare teacher’s hand. I have never hit my son, and I can still say that till this day. When I realized what had just happened I was in shock. I broke down crying and had a panic attack. She took me in the other room and calmed me down. I was so embarrassed. She tried telling me that we all have our moments and that I was not a bad mother because I lost my cool. She then recommended that I go and get some therapy for the large amount of stress that was going on in my life. Ya, that was an embarrassing moment I would say. I left the daycare and drove to work. I sat at my desk…. And realized that if I dont do something about this now it would get worse. What if I snapped again? And I dont want my son to see his mother like this. So I picked up the phone and did the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I called my Father. I couldn’t hold back the tears and I told him everything. I was expecting for him to tell me that they are going to take my son from me and disown me. But that was not the case. He told me that he loved me very much and was proud that I came out and told him. That they would get me help and that we would work together to fix this. So my Mom and Dad came down that weekend. Saturday morning they where there. My father took my son and went back to their house (Which was 2 hours away) he gave me a big hug and said everything is going to work out. My mother stayed with me that weekend. She really helped me get through it. Surprisingly I literally only had one day of bad withdrawals. I was taking clonodine for the hot flashes, clomazipam for the anxiety, Tylenol with codeine for the dry cough (An odd side effect I get and it is the only thing that works. I would cough so much I would throw up non-stop) and Imodium for the amazing case of the poops or as I like to say the water that was coming out of my ass continuously. I tried to sleep as much as I could taking sleeping pills whenever I woke up. Whenever I was awake I was in the bathtub soaking. My Sister worked for Lush so my Mother brought a large supply of bath bombs (they have lavender to make you sleepy in them and a bunch of other crap for muscle aches) so they where a nice treat. Plus I smelled pretty haha. Anyways, on the second day I felt great! I got up around noon. Took a nice shower, got dressed, did my hair and makeup and went outside and enjoyed the sun. I couldnt believe how amazing I felt. My mom stayed with me for the week after and I am so glad that she did. The anxiety killed me though. That ball that sits in your stomach. The mental aspect of it is the worst. I drove around alot to clear my head and I listened to music all the time. Things where good. I was good, well I was amazing. Then I decided to call my ex and tell him. He wanted to go out for coffee and it was really nice. He was proud of me. We started hanging out again and I thought things where great! I think about 3 weeks after this, one morning at work I open my email and see I have a message from his ex girlfriend. This message is a message that he had sent her. It was horrible and it was sent 2 days beforehand to her. Talking about the mindblowing sex they had! And how they have been having for the past month. I had realized that while I was cleaning my life up he was fucking her again. I messaged her back and said how nice of her to share but then why is he at my house right now. I couldnt handle being at work. The anxiety was in full mode (Plus my Grandmother was diagnosed the day before with Pancreatic Cancer so I was a little upset). I go home and he is there and so is my room mate (My roommate and her Girlfriend where my dealers – Not a good idea). We start fighting and I ask him what the fuck? I thought you where done with that whore.. I thought we where going to work on things. She calls and I try talking to her but he unplugs the phone. So I go in my roommates room and I yell for her to give me a pill. She did not want to at all but I pretty much ripped it from her hands, which made her cry because she did not want this to happen. She was hooked herself and on the wait list for Methadone. I go to the living room. Sit in front of him at the coffee table and start grinding my pill looking at him the whole time. He didnt say anything. I bust out the whole pill and make 2 lines. I make it look like I am going to give him one (Since he did do it still but very rarely..) I do mine and then look at him and do the one I put out for him and then walk away. I was so angry. And thats when I started up again. No he didnt cheat on me. We weren’t even together. But he told me that we were going to work on ourselves so that we could be in a good position to have a healthy relationship. And in one of the messages he writes that he is trying to better himself for her and their son so that she would be proud to be with him. I was using about an 80 a day sometimes more. I was completely out of control. Me and him where fighting nonstop. I didnt know what I wanted. I was lost and on a path of destruction. I made a decision to move back home to where my parents where. I needed to get away from it all and from him. I didnt tell my parents right away. It was at the end of August. I had a really bad night and some messed up things happened with me and the ex. I was no longer working, my parents had my son because I told them I needed some help financially till my EI came in. They where sending me money but it went all to pills. So they offered to take him for 2 1/2 weeks. That night I sat at my computer typing up a suicide note. I thought there was no way out. That I would just continue to hurt those around me. I had a blade in my hand, crying like a baby. Then the phone rings. Mothers really do have that instinct no matter how old their babies get. She asks if I am alright and said she got a horrible feeling so she needed to call. I let it all out and told her what happened and how I have been using again. This time she was not that nice about it. She said to pack a suitcase and get on the first bus. So I do. She sent me some cash and I went to my dealers house and grabbed a pill. Did it all up and then took the 3:00am bus home. While on the bus I sent an email to my ex, basically a dear john letter. Telling him he would never see me again and that I going to go and get clean. I get there and she takes my phone and searches everything I had. She puts me to bed and says we will deal with this later. I was really sick this time. And the anxiety was at its worse. I had to sleep on the couch and I couldnt even sleep. The leg spasms that everyone talks about where in full gear. The sweats where unbearable, the poops where horrific (I got blisters all over my rear and I couldnt even sit on my ass) and I could not sleep. I went 2 days without any sleep at all. Finally they caved and got me some Imodium and some sleeping pills. So on the 3rd day I was feeling a little better. But I felt trapped. I was not allowed on the computer nor the phone. The lived on the 21st floor and the central air was on full blast making it feel like a cold prison cell (not that I would ever know what it feels like to be in a cell because that is one thing I have been good with – Not getting in trouble with the law, not once in my life). That same day my Uncle came over and took my son out for a walk. My parents sat me down and told me I was not allowed to go back to where I lived. I was moving in a few weeks anyways and when I had to pack my mom would come with me that weekend and pack the house up. They also told me that this was my last chance. If I where to get hooked again, they would take my son away. I told them they cannot do this and they said that they would take me to court. Threatened that I would never to even see him again. And made me agree to their terms. I told them I needed therapy because I was literally going mental and I needed someone to talk to but this was not an option I guess. I said even a friend and they said know. See a major part of addiction is the mental aspect and that is something I never dealt with. Anyways I move back home. I was hoping it would be a fresh start. I didnt talk to anyone here at all. I had no job, I was broke and I was very lonely. But I was clean. About 3 1/2 weeks into living here, one night while getting out of the car this woman starts talking to me. She was my neighbor. She starts rambling on about how she is being evicted because her Landlord who was her Aunt said she didnt pay her rent and she was showing me her bank statements. And I didnt even know this chick. She then says “She has been accusing me of using drugs”… Immediately, I think “Sweet, lets find out what she is using” so I ask her and she says… Dahhh Dahhh Dahhh OXI’S!!!! So I say really, do you by chance know where to get any. And there we have it. The cycle starts again. Find out I am living in a city where the Oxi usage is at a ridiculous high! That several people in my town house complex use and sell them. She introduces me to another person and there is my hookup. Before you know it I am using again. And using alot. My ex and I started to talk again and I let him back in. He then tells me in November that he wants things to be different, for us to work and to one day get married. And this time things where and still are AMAZING. But he does not know that I am using again. He has asked several times but I denie it. I ended up getting a really good job and now I literally cannot go to work without it. The job is great but the people I work with are complete assholes. So to not care when they call me useless or whatever it may be that day I go sniff a bunch of pills in the bathroom. I hate the city I moved to. I am miserable here and sometimes I think the only thing keeping me alive is using these pills or else I would have killed myself by now. I have surrounded myself with people who only use drugs. I cannot be around anyone who doesnt. I cant be myself and I hate facing people living this lie. I have shut myself out from the world. The only time I am happy is when I go back to my home 2 hours away and see him or when he comes here. I barely touch the things which is sad. I have detoxed off of these things probably every other weekend and I go through all of the withdrawals from Friday till Sunday but come MOnday at work.. I hate it so much and the anxiety gets unbearable. I want to so badly tell my parents the truth. BUt I know if I do they will take my little man. And sometimes I hate myself so much that I think it would be best for them to do that since I am such a disappointment to him. But if they did, I know I would not be able to live with myself. Why can’t I just stop being so fucking selfish?? WHY? I tell my friends and they say it to that they want to quit pretty much everyday. But I am the only one who actually attempts it. And one of them gets a script. I tell her when I am detoxing and each time I tell her I need to stay away for a while because I will be tempted to do some. She seems to like me on these things. Some say its because if I where clean she would be jealous. So as long as she is on them she will push them on me as well. The longest I have gone since I have moved here is 5 days. I really do not know what to do anymore. I made a choice to move in with my parents. So that I could save and buy a car (Mine crapped out on my while driving home for a weekend and have been car less ever since) and possibly a house. And because I know I have no option other than to quit if I move in with them. So I have about 2 1/2 months to get clean but I want to do it now. Tonight I did a total of 240mg and I have never done that much. Tomorrow is a holiday so I am thinking this weekend should be a good time to try yet again. I need to get to a doctor to get something to help with my anxiety. If anyone knows of anything that helps over the counter for anxiety please let me know. Reading every one’s posts gave me hope and made me realize its never to late to quit. I heard once that if you have been doing them for over a year that you are long gone and there is no hope for you. I choose to not believe that. I have an amazing son, me and my boyfriend are doing great and I plan to move back home 2 hours away around December. I have all these plans to get my life on track but I just cant seem to get off of these. I am so scared that my parents will find out. I think they know from my mood swings and how depressed I am… And even if I was not on these anymore I would be just as depressed because I hate it here, the only friends I have here are drug users as well, I hate my job and the man I love is 2 hours away. My son is the only positive thing I have in my life each day. I look at him and I see how lucky I am to have him. I need to fix this. I made this mess and I need to clean it up. I know my post is a novel and if you have actually read it, I am thanking you for taking the time. And if anyone has any advice please let me know. I think I am going to start a blog, because writing is therapeutic to me. I wish everyone the best of luck and I will keep checking for new posts to see how everyone else is doing. Thank You for creating this. I have a hope now that it isn’t to late for me. So that I can be the Mother I once was and the person I once was.

Best of luck to all,

553 Jamie { 04.23.11 at 8:04 pm }

Hang in there, look at that little boy and know that you can do it.

554 Pinkerton { 04.24.11 at 3:23 am }

Nadine, It’s not too late, your son is very young and you have time to get yourself together and be the kind of mom that you want to be and that is what he will remember. I have detoxed and relapsed recently, and like you, no-one knows because if they did, they would be pissed. Most were supportive the first detox but have said that if I would start up again they would think I was stupid and would have no sympathy for me. That is what is wonderful about this site…no-one judges you here, just encourages. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to be tough and tell you the truth as they see it, but it is out of love and coming from experience.

A couple things you said that stands out to me are the triggers: your job and your friends. I don’t like my job very much right now and will use to get through the day…so I reflected on recreating it so that I can find enjoyment in what I do until I get another job that I do love. If you can’t recreate, then find a job that you like. That holds true for everyone, whether they are an addict or not…you spend alot of time at work and you need to enjoy your work-life. Second: your friends are all users. Try to distance yourself and slowly you will be attracted to a different group that doesn’t use. Start doing something with you son…for example, piano lessons. That is what I’m considering. Both my kids take lessons and I think I’m gonna start doing it with them and then I have something to do when I want to use while at the same time I’m having a bonding experience with my kids. So pick something you both like and start doing it. Then you will be a part of that activity’s circle and make new friends. I don’t have any friends that use so I didn’t have that hurdle. When I first decided to get off the pills I thought that once I got through detox I’d be ok…what a joke, that was when I really struggled and I wasn’t prepared for that struggle. Now I have prepared and know that I need to plan for that as well and I have.

You might want to post on the “about” page because that is where alot of wonderful people are most of the time and they can really help you as they have me.

Dig deep, keep pushing through the wall until you get to the other side!

Good luck! Pinkerton

555 Kitty Mom { 04.24.11 at 5:05 am }

Nadine – thinking it is too late is BS because most of us had been on pills for more than that – myself on and off for 5 or 6 years – most addicted for 2 years. It is possible. The first thing is making up your mind to quit – 2nd being honest with yourself that you are addicted and facing the fact that you do not feelo better by taking pills – after a while they do not produce the orginal high and all you are doing is taking so that your body does not feel sick any longer. Hanging around people that perpetuate your using is of no benefit to you either. Your life becomes a merry-go-round of using, scoring, and feeling sick and sorry.
It is possible to stop using. People on this site are proof of that. There is always that one time that just might work. If nothing else, your Son is the only thing you should be thinking of right now and I know that I was not there for my daughter for many years because I wanted to sit around doped up instead of doing activities with her. We all cetainly have these same kinds of issues. My heart aches for you right now and if I could, I would give you a great big Kitty hug and tell you everything will be all right. But, the ball has to be in your court. You have to make the decision. You have to follow through on it. No pill in the world is a good as a child’s love for him Mom. God bless you on this journey and I hope He picks you up and carries you to freedom…freedom to love again, freedom to be your real self again….freedom from the fucking vicious cycle of life on pills.
OK – I am rambling on and on.
Good lkuck my dear – and please return. Us addicts want to remember the torment of pills so that we never go there again.

556 DDoubles { 04.24.11 at 9:35 pm }

Nadine- Geezz I know exactly how u feel when you want to end it all because it seems so hopeless. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Life is hard. and a life on or coming off pills makes it that much harder. You’re right about the mental part being the hardest. The anxiety and depression is crippling. Your opiate receptors are screaming at you to fill them up and this is why you get so depressed. Just know the depression is your brain healing itself and it is supposed to hurt. The pain you feel is your brain repairing itself from all the damage done. Now, a few suggestions……Have you ever considered suboxone? I know ive bashed it in the past, but if it wernt for subs id probably still be using. Subs will DEF open your eyes and see hats going on around you. It will also make you happier because one, you’ll feel clean and not be full of guilt. Also, it woks like an anti depressant on the brain. Some people take sub (bupe) just for that reason and they were never addicted to opiates. I’m off EVERYTHING right now but I could def tell I was happier when I was on sub. Another suggestion is rehab if your parents will fork up the money (I almost checked in one). Either way you look at it you’re gonna have to start over in life. Try to reconnect with some old clean best friend thats single and yall move in together with your son. Get rid of tht boy he sounds like trouble. Dedicate your whole life to your son and watching him play baseball or something. I ont know im just trying to help. Just know we all know how it feels but it does get better. I had to hear that it does get better every day to get through some very deep dark days coming off shit. Oh yeah one more thing. Find an NA meeting. Try 90 meetings in 90 days. You can make new SOBER friends this way too. Take care, dont give up!

557 DDoubles { 04.24.11 at 9:42 pm }

P.S. Please feel free to ask me anything. I’ve got 100 + days clean of roxicontin and 30 days clean without anything. This will be the fight of your life but it can be done….

558 WORRIED { 04.25.11 at 7:38 am }

my life is a mess just reading somew of the posts help me, i started with perc 10/325 6 per day and now take blues i am wasting around 500.00 per week on this stuff i just found this web site today and am going to get the stuff for the thomas recipe after work i have not taken anything today or last night i have started the wds skin, runs to the bathroom face feels like its crawling i do not feel good at all but i must do this and i will power through this. please pray for me.

559 Kitty Mom { 04.25.11 at 3:29 pm }

Worried – God bless you for making this difficult decision. The thoma recipe will help. Good luck and keep posting because this site will help you get through it. Like you said, just knowing that others are in the same boat can lessen the blow.
Love Kitty

560 I Used to be Strong { 04.26.11 at 2:05 am }

I just took my last half of a 10mg vic. Been taking 10 a day for about a year. I decided I cannot do it anymore. New Doc cut me off and cannot find another to treat me as my old one did. (he left the area) so rather than prolonging it further, I am going to cold turkey starting now. I will send my neighbor to the vitamin store for the things for the recipe.
I am scare. I have anxiety disorder on top of the addiction. I do not know what to expect. I am scared. but i see there are so many wxpressing the things i feel inside. I thank you for being here. good luck to everyone.

561 Metoo { 04.26.11 at 5:38 am }

I will pray for you, worried, and you WILL get through this! You have a GREAT ATTITUDE!!! Power through this and get the crap out of your system. We all have faith in you!! Posting on this board helps, and you are NOT alone. Make sure you get POTASSIUM SUPPLEMENTS..they help immensely with restless legs!!!!
I am pulling for you!!

562 Annabelle { 04.26.11 at 9:14 pm }

I still remember the moment FIFTEEN years ago when I was laying on the couch depressed and alone because I’d been cheated on and dumped. The emotional pain was crippling. I stared into space and thought, “I have some leftover Tylenols with Codeine from my surgery. I’ll take one and see if it’s fun. Why not?”
My psyche was in excruciating pain, so ANYTHING that seemed like it could alter how I felt was worth a try. Funny how a long path in life can often be traced to a single thought. I really only thought I’d dabble in it that day. But that day turned into a few days a week, then every day. Those weeks and months turned into 15 years. Tylenol with codeine turned into Vicodin and that turned into Norco. One legitimate doctor turned into three not-so legitimate ones, and friends and neighbors with pills unknowingly shared a few. I got off that couch, and did a lot of things after that lousy break-up, but never without pills.
Anyway, sorry to go on so long, but I had to revisit how this stuff came to take over my life, and to gather strength to taper down and OFF them. It’s time. Way past time. My overuse is something I finally have to admit, and change.
My question is, if I keep tapering, can I fade out to a teeny tiny dose, and then stop, without WD symptoms? Or will I be sick when I stop no matter how small a dose I am at? I am 1 and 1/4 Norcos a day right now (same as 2 and 1/2 Vicodin). My plan is to every 3-5 days, cut another 1/4 out.
Also, how does the depression manifest? Will I not feel like myself for a little while, or could it take weeks or months? I don’t want to get weak and start using again. It has to stop. But I better be prepared with what I will feel.
Lastly, when are people at the biggest risk of relapsing?
And is it most common to relapse just out of opportunity, or because of physical cravings? I think I can wrestle the emotional triggers, but the physical craving scares me. What are good ways after WD to ward them off?

563 NotMyself { 05.11.11 at 4:47 pm }

SouthernMom & MeToo – I have been reading your posts over and over for the past few weeks to find inspiration and not feel guilty for my addiction. I love that you are so honest. I have done some of the same things maybe even worse in order to feed my habbit. I have been taking Vicodin for 10 years. Started out at a low dose for migraines. My doctor kept insisting that if I took a steady dose I would not have the clusters. CRAZY, right. Well, after two kids and a stressful job I am now at 10 a day. Varies from Vicodin to Norco – 5/500 or 7.5/500 sometimes 10/325. Either way, I feel like I need it for every event, whenever I leave the house, to deal with my husband (who is amazing). He does not know and would be devistated if he found out. I feel like I am hurting my family in so many ways by not being the mother or wife I should be. Vicodin has made me into a completely different person. I”m bitchy all the time and have no interest in anything. I have a well paying full time job and I”m able to work from home. I am just now feeling like the addiction is affecting my job. I hate the way it makes me feel now but take it to not get sick. I have tried to stop several times and it sucks. But, I do realize the more you keep busy, the more you don”t have time to deal with the symptoms. Even if I am sick with withdrawls I still have to take my kids to swim, soccer, etc. It actually helps keep my mind off of it. I recently told my doctor that I did not want her to fill anymore scripts. Then of course I wished I could take it back. So, now my supply is gone. I have stolen meds from friends and family which I am so ashamed of. As far as the Thomas Recipe, Coconut water has more potasium than the supplements and bananas and has helped. BUT
AMAZINGY enough, I ordered the Kratom and it is the BOMB. I had a weekend event with friends and was so scared because had just run out of vics. I took 4-5 in the morning 4-5 afternoon and felt a little tired but no diahrea , no crawling out of my skin, no shakes, no RLS. AMAZING. Thank you MeeToo. I hope I can stay away from the vics but I know myself too well. I just remeber the day when I had no idea that those stupid pills even existed. I am sad what I have become. I used to be so much fun, full of life. I feel dead inside now. I will keep reading everyone”s posts for encouragement and hope for the best. God Bless everyone trying to beat this nasty habbit.

564 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.16.11 at 3:16 pm }

Been taking 20 approx. 750 daily. 6 ys approx. I am on day 3 80 hrs to be exact . First day I went all day till I goy home and then took 5 like a dumb a$!!!!. Day 2 all day til home again then took 2 750s. Ion day three it was bad. Mad it through lunch and the panic got to me and I took a 500. When I got home through the evening I took 3 more 750s. Fridaywhich was day 4 of my taper I took one Around 11 a.m. I am now over 3 days straight with none FROM almost 20 a day ! Here’s the prob now. I feel as if since Ihave made it this far what’s one or two? Classic addiction? Someone please tAlk me down…. Am tiny five foot tall 110 lbs and if I start this again it could be bad. I am lucky now that nothing has happen to me considering my quanity daily and length of time of abuse is years and. Years. Also ; am. Through the worst of withdraw? Been using Thomas recipe since ummmm 2 days now… Seems to be helping then again who the he’ll knows I thin much of thisis mental. I have to kick this though. Between myself and my other half him and I make kick ass money and our house omnt is late this month. No reason for that except my problem”! So Wien tell me i can do this and when will my legs quit throbbing? Also. I get very hung over used to be little miss party girl so I got wasted sat night cuz I knew sun I would be too sick to wanna take vics. Not saying best thing to do but hangover made me forget my other side effects fro withdraw….sorry bout the rambling……but I think you all understand. Theses blogs have been so helpful. ESP. Being able t have someone who can relate…..please inspire me

565 Kitty Mom { 05.22.11 at 8:47 am }

Hey girls – reading is a stretch for me too but I am replacing TV with reading and if I do not read when I am in the pool, well, then I am up landscaping the yard or something like that – and I am just trying to relax for a freaking change – I am getting to old to work work work all the time and that is the only way I know how to be I have been working longer than some of you have been on this EARTH…LMFAO – And that my dear Quitting means – laughing my freaking ass off…so lmfao…..You crack me up!!!
Love You

566 Kitty Mom { 05.22.11 at 8:48 am }

All that I can say is that I love you girls and you inspire me and make me laugh and cry – and I am sooooo glad you are here and I am honored to be your kitty mamma….

567 AZMomma { 05.23.11 at 10:48 am }

Here go’s nothing! Hello everyone! I stumbled across this website somehow and I have reading all your posts for the past 2 days. I didn’t realize this board was still ongoing, since I was still reading posts from last year! I’m 32 and have been struggling with addiction since I was 18. I have 3 kids and I’m divorced. Currently, my addiction is at its worse. Everytime I try and detox I get so dehydrated and my heartrate nears the 200 mark, I end up in the ER and I get another “fix”. I have been taking about 16 of the 10mg Vics or Percs for months. And since my baby was born I’ve had 4 surgerys. Weaning is never an option for me because I have ZERO will power. I will be finishing the last of my supply today, and I want to kick this FOR GOOD. I have no family in this state… and to top it off my ex is a cop. Yeah, if he found out I’d lose my kids for sure. Today is Monday, and I start my Bachelors program Wednesday. I’m a nurse. Ha! You’d think I’d be smarter than this! I’m SO ready… and I have to be. My Dr told me on Thursday that he was handing me my last Rx of 50 pills. He’s worried about my use. Anyways… I’m glad I found this site, I would appreciate any kind words and prayers! Thank you!

568 Kitty Mom { 05.23.11 at 1:50 pm }

Hi AZmomma – welcome to the site – I am happy to see another newcomer on here – I hang out on the about page of this site and there are currently at least three new detoxers over there at various stages of recovery…so hop on over to that page and you will get alot of support. If you want to email me I am at:
kittymom001@gmail.com. I have been clean for over eight months and got clean with several on this site and of course praying to God constantly through the ordeal. There are many who stick around and tell their stories so that we can help others get through to the other side. There is definate proof here that you can get through detox…the vitamin and mineral supplements are a great help as are hot baths or showers. Let me know if you have any questions and I am here to tell you that YOU can do it by taking baby steps and making up your mind that taking a pill is not an option. Go for it girl if not for yourself, do it for those kids. We will support you in any way we can.
Love and prayers

569 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.23.11 at 3:02 pm }

hey girly; ;i am 32 also and been strugling with addiction of diff stuff since highschool too. sure i was prob a big pot head; then an alcoholic; and now a vic addict.. this is probably the hardest to kick; but if i can do it so can you!!! you HAVE to do it.. i am in med field too; gi figure; i was taking 20 norco 10s a day for like years and years; didn’t start at that amount but sure ended up growing to a daily dose way up in the teens or low 20s; hell weekends even more. THIS SITE SAVED MY LIFE!!! AND I HOPE WILL HELP YOU TO KICK THIS BS TOO!!! Everyone here is really nice and really supportive and we all get it.. it won’t be easy but u can do it.. today is day 10 and 7hrs for me so far. i made it through my first day back to work from my “flu” this site is what gave me the courage to quit…. fyi its kinda slow sometimes all us pill poppers are bogging it down i think… talk to quitting now; she’s hilarious and about the same amount of days as i have so far. also kitty mom has great inspiration; hell EVERYONE is great!! you can do this!!!!

570 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.23.11 at 3:04 pm }

AZ momma; fyi most of us are on the “about page” and theres a recement comments on first page to the right; sorry if i sound like a dumbass; but i didn’t know to begin with; lol

571 Pinkerton { 05.23.11 at 4:15 pm }

Hi AZ Momma, I’m a detox, relapse, detox, relapser. I am here to cheer you on and wish you the best of luck. Detox sucks but the worst for me has been the post detox when I am feeling better, don’t ask me why but that’s my weakness. I tell you this so that it doesn’t blindside you and you may want to prepare yourself because I thought that once the sickness left me I would be ok and boy was I not ok. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that you are not alone on this scary but lifechanging journey with people like you who are everywhere on this journey.

572 Pinkerton { 05.23.11 at 4:59 pm }

Sorry AZ, while I was typing my post the tornado siren went off and I didn’t finish. What I was trying to say is that there are alot of people on this site who will offer unconditional support and guidance to you … some have been clean for a long time, some not too long, some just starting out, and some like me who have started and then screwed up…no matter where you are you are always accepted and understood.

Prayers are being sent your way.

573 AZMomma { 05.24.11 at 8:20 am }

Thanks everyone. I will try and figure out how to find the “About” page. I havent ventured around on this site because I’m scared I won’t fint this page again! LOL. So I managed to save 3 of my last Norco 10′s and took them an hour and a half ago. That’s it. No more. I already panicked while driving the big kids to school about how to get more. But I can’t. I HAVE to be done. I have loads of Xanax and Valium that has be prescribed to me for several months. I never take them, but have them for “Anxiety”. I knew there was more to it… I recently found out I have SEVERE hyperthyroidism and I’m not just an “anxious person”. SO hopefully that will help. Although its not like I can stay in a coma for the next few days… I have a 10 month old and 2 schoolagers, Kinder graduation tomorrow, night school for me tomorrow, etc etc. Its no one’s fault but mine tho… I’ve gone thru WD before many times when my supply has run out. It sucks. I always say “never again”… but that “never lasts”! Thanks everyone… I’m gonna go try and find that other page that all of you are on.

574 Metoo { 05.24.11 at 10:03 am }

AZ! Welcome!!! Yes, please try to find the about page, but no matter where you are, if you continue to post, we will find you. You are not alone in this—so many of us have tried and are kicking this demon. You are in good company, girl!!!

As far as the hyperthyroid, you will find that that is probably the biggest source of your ‘problem’. Get on your medication, take it WITHOUT FAIL…same time EVERY DAY…an hour before you eat…let it get into your system, and you will ride this out just fine. I am HYPOthyroid, and it GREATLY affects my anxiety. When I get very anxious, it is in part because my thyroid is acting up. I should have realized this a long time ago, but it’s better to know now. Just don’t forget to take your thyroid meds DAILY.

As far as your addiction goes, you can (and WILL) kick that too. I have been ‘clean’ for well over a year now and if I can do it, you can do it. We will be here with you every step of the way. We will get you to the other side of this bridge. Everything’s going to be ok! :)

My prayers and thoughts are with you!!!!

575 Metoo { 05.24.11 at 10:05 am }

Oh, and GET POTASSIUM SUPPLEMENTS and start taking them like YESTERDAY. Take a couple in the morning, and a couple at dinner time. It helps with restless legs, which for me was the biggest beast.

576 jen { 05.24.11 at 11:02 am }

AZ momma I here ya Im on day 6 good lord the first three days seemed like 5 years. This site honestly is probably the main reason I didnt relapse in those first critical hours. I also have children and want to do it for them and me. We are here for you and you can do it!!!!!Go to about page we post like crazy on there lol! Hot baths and vitamins are the best. I still have some of the aches and pains but not to bad. I feel a lil better everyday… small steps. My husband is also going through this with me so we are double detoxing . Prayers your way:) Oh yeah and i abused for yrs and yrs and yrs.

577 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.24.11 at 4:28 pm }

AZ momma;
you are the only one who can make that decision. i am 11 days in and panic is a bitch and so are the leg cramps. i had been taking approx 20 yellow 10s for years and years and i have made it this far; if i can do it so can you!!! alot of it is mental!!! i truely don’t even want one now. i think it would give me a panic attack; but i have had to take zanies to get any sleep and i got all the stuff from thomas recipe too. potassium is supposed to help too; i have been taking that too; but actually advil and midol is whats gotten rid of my leg craps best; and hotttt baths!!!

578 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.27.11 at 4:11 pm }

az momma you there… anywhere??

579 MovingFowardW/God { 05.29.11 at 10:40 pm }

I am going to start weaning myself off this week. At least that’s the plan. I have been taking vicodin for about 4 years, it has become worse in the last 2 years. I am an alcoholic, and have a very addictive personality. I began drinking & drug abuse when I was 13. So when I had a back injury 2 years ago it was “ok” because it was supposed to help. I also take valum occasionally, not like I used to. I like the “up/energized” feeling the vicodin give me better I guess. I quit drinking 2 1/2 years ago but recently have been binge drinking a couple times a week & taking the pills too. I can’t stand it anymore!!! I don’t want to be a prisoner to a stupid pill anymore. I’ve quit before, longest time off was about 7 months & I know that was when I felt the best about myself. I do remember one wd that hit me hard was fatigue. I would get real sleepy & have no energy. I do not want to rely on any other drugs to help me get off this. My family & husband know my past drug & alcohol abuse but I am too embarrassed to tell them that I’ve done this to myself again. This site is such a blessing, I can express myself with people that know what I’m going through. My husband hates that I take any kind of medication & I feel bad because her deals with my mood swings & highs. Thanks everyone for your stories. I pray for everyone that is going through this & your families. I just thank God that He loves me even when I don’t love myself. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!!

580 Pinkerton { 05.30.11 at 3:11 am }

Dear MovingforwardW/God: Glad you found your way to this website because there are so many people who are going through what you are going through and they are happy to help you along in this journey. How many Vics are you weaning down from? The Thomas Recipe really does help and if you have valiums, you will need them to get some sleep the first few days. I have detoxed twice and it wasn’t alot of fun but it wasn’t horrible, it was the post w/d that got me in the end. I have relapsed twice and I am currently planning my next detox from a month of using again. I wish you all the luck in the world and God will not leave you at this time of need. I will be praying for you and post, post, post while you’re detoxing cause it will help. If you want the help of all the others, you should go over to the “about” page where everyone hangs out..they will be thrilled to have you there.


581 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 05.30.11 at 9:11 am }

Moving forward w/God

Welcome! Welcome! I think it is God who directed all of us to this site.
You CAN do this! I was taking 20 yellow tens a day for past couple years and been on vics period for prob 6or 7 years. It’s not easy but if you want it you can do it. Get stuff from Thomas recipe it will help and use them Valium strictly to get some sleep. Do you work? If u do can u take some time off? I was sick with “flu” for a week as far as my job thinks. Today is day 17 for me. I can’t believe I have finally done this.. The no energy crap is what was scared of too but in hindsight all I wanted to do was lay around and pop vics and watch tv anymore so were they really even giving me energy or was that allin our heads? Sure at first they did but after sooo many years we have such a tolerance tha idk if they were doing anything as far as energy goes anymore… I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on them, it’s a bad deal… Quit now darlin you can do it. There are lots of people on the “about” page waiting to help you and go through this with you. I went pretty much cold turkey.. I went 20, 15, 5, 2, 3.5, 1, And now 17 days and an hour later… I don’t really callthat tapering ya know..lol.
Do what works for you though and we will all help u through this!

582 MovingFowardW/God { 05.30.11 at 11:20 pm }

Thank you so much for the support. My daily vic intake varies. I can tasked up to 8 a day, at one point I was only taking half a day. I began to work out 6 days a week @ that time & it really helped me. But lately it has been worse. More pills less working out & drinking a couple days a week. I do work but I cannot detox @ home, it only makes me binge. I will just have to cope with the w/d @ work. I haven’t even started lowering my intake yet & I am already having bad mood swings. I will jump over to the about page next time I post. Thank u for your cocern & support. God bless.

583 Support For Medical Marijuana { 06.01.11 at 7:08 am }

Here is my detox method I used this in combination with Medical Grade Marijuana. I know some of you guys might now think Marijuana would help me kick the opiate habit right? Well let me tell you what it has done for me and maybe this story will inspire you to help this plant be legalized, the war on drugs is now with the pain pills! they launched it 4/30/2011, 10 days after the national smokers holiday 4/20. I took this method to heart, I have tried everything you could think of including this method w/ just taken the xanax and you really need the Marijuana to stay off opiates bottom line. Day one, Took 2mg of xanax and smoked a vaporizer of a strain of Marijuana called Cheese, Threw a study done by Green House Seed Company they have Identified 16 terpiens that are in Marijuana, Cheese and White Widow, have high levels of 8 of the 16 terpines in it, and also they haven’t identified the other 6 that are in it, but Cheese is the best strain for Pain and Anxiety to combat your detox. If you have access to Medical Grade Marijuana i Suggest you get you some Cheese or White Widow, I smoked a bowl a day and I tell you the weed will bring your hunger back 10 fold, I am talking about a 4 day detox with no about being tired! Chug 8 glasses of water, take your benzo, and smoke a bowl, also find something intersting to watch to occupie your mind! this will get you threw the detox fast!

584 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 06.01.11 at 7:02 pm }

Moving forward
We are all waiting to help u when uare ready.. I get the not wanting to stay home and detox. That was hard for me too. When I was at home I would binge too… My friends kept me busy busy busy and that really helped. I also posted my butt off on here

585 robert { 06.01.11 at 8:46 pm }

now 27 male from ohio, ill try to make this long story short and sweet..

i was never like anyone else if yo yelled at me i cried, if someone wanted to fiht me i couldnt brethe if i was in trouble or scared id have attacks, i thought it was how everyone was till i got older and realized when had panic attacks red lights ment go green lights ment stop my brain got confused i put a foil wrapper in a microwave, i would wake up what i thought would be an hour later and it would be a day later…..now to the more recent stuff

al;ways depressed i wasnt blessed with symmetrical perfect body nice abs cute face nice hair im about a 6.5-7 at best(this was before i developed a skill with music started a independent record label got really good at guitar bass keyboard producing singing and rapping and built a studio, but after 100,000′a of hou5rs put towards music skipping school for it skipping weekends going out got it, i was always depressed still socially i wanted to be the most popular or have girls smile at me, i played the best friend call me talk to about your relationship problemzs approach and that was bad, and i cashed girls out of my league 9-10 11′s and yes i got um 2 years sometimes 5 but it took my loving humorous personality and my talents to get them to see past the imperfect body and face, in my mind, and im extremely smart when i do a drug i can tell you what its made of what company makes it what chemical compounds are used how it affects your brain what to look for in case you think your gonna o.d. ect. i love chemistry mycology music theory i produce record you name it i can do it, but after a while i found pain pills which made all the depression all the anxiety go completely away plus some everything stupid and little was enjoyable i showed more love was more excited. i was about to get married whn my girlfriend jumped on a tour bus with a national band and left state and did national tour sleeping with every member including the light guy and sound guy ti i know but it helps to get it out.i had turned music from passion and substance to business studying thte radio to learn how to make what the general public wanted and it turned into a business the passion disappeared unless i took pills it took more and more to work to the point were i had to take so much once he passion cam e back i was sleeping..so here’s what happened

1-3 months
1-2-3-4-5-6 Vicodin
1-3 more months 3-4-5-6-7-8 percocets
1-3 months later viks 10′s 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
1-3 months later percs 10′s 4-5-6-7-8–10-11-12
`-3 months later oxy 49′s 8 a day then 0xy 80′s 6 a day
1-3 months later oxys two and a half 80′s snorting at a time this is not exaggeration one thing i hate in the medical system is the generalization everybody withdrawals the same amount time hurts in the places needs the same help bullshit!!!

then because of finances i found heroin, snorting first sense its more social except able here .2,.3,.4 till i needed at least gran to feel it, finally came the needle thats when you begin to think your posesed because i was a pussy or a bitch or whatever nasty term you would use when i was yonger i wouldnt try nothing no alcohol no pills no ex nothing no weed.. now im shooting up .2

guess what the more potent the quicker the high the quicker the teleconference builds 1 month later im shooting 1 gram at a time 3 mild strokes couldn’t walk with out being held stairs were no exception, during this time i had quit on my own with out anyone saying hey you need to quit several times but just like sex you don’t want it so bad till you feel it and that feeling from the orgasm you cant erase so that memory of how much happier and how my passion for music could return wouldn’t go away so it came back and back and back.FINALLY i got a old of it my studio gear i sold my company all back my girl money was piling up…so much that i was walking down the street one year clean and got jumped by 6 people holding my arms back repeatedly kicking my in my face broke both sides of my jaw had 3 plates put in both sides never damage broke my wrist nerves damage back on drugs, the doctors said i would pass out from the pain and not b able t o suck threw a straw with out it so i got liquid oxycodone not the bottles you get when you get a cold the big ones thy use to fill the little ones.so here i am again on methadone started out on 100 mgs im down to 30 it works great if anyone says methadone doesn’t work …no the patient doesn’t work , yes everyone is different, but if it takes your withdrawals away it works if you don’t get high that doesn’t mean it don’t work follow your program tamper down every few months i feel on 3 pills day the same as i did on 10…but iv decided now that im getting close the ed the damage iv done to myself and others i deserve a little suffering and at least it wont be as bad as coming dowqn off 1 mg shots 4-5 times of heroin day…at one point i remember before i found methadone i said i wasnt suicidal but i was not apposed or afraid to die at all if i did oh well no more pain and chasing.but when a doctor is prescribing it legally i gained 60 lbs in my 8 months color changed attitude everything…but im stopping cold turkey also because im getting hooked on the Xanax not cuz i get high cuz it works but i wanna feel like i did something nobody else around me can seem to do i wanna be proud and if i keep tampering eventually ill be down to half a pill then barley suffer i wanna fight this demon head on so im scared to come back..but the most important and hardest part of this hole thing is changing your life, leave town forget your friends who get high im sorry buts true get a new job live different find new hobbies replace the im you spent chasing the drugs an doing and being high with other stuff i like to do good deeds cuz right now karma is kicking my ass lol…so goof luck to all and gl to myself thanks for listening…

for thos who think they got it figued it out they know they wont od you brain heart and liver weakens everytime s one day yo may take less thnen you usually do and die and unless your a geek like m and study it to the point you can name every pill by the id where its made what chemical it has side affects and even then you don’t know…all you know is you will end up in 1 of 3 places, dead,prison or alone.. thank you for listening

586 Pinkerton { 06.02.11 at 2:28 am }

I am writing this post for myself as well as for you because I know what needs to be done but yet resist.

Although it will be uncomfortable, it is managable.
Even though you will see life differently, that isn’t a bad thing. I realize that I am moodier, more lethargic, and even more stressed out when I am on the vics. It makes sense to stop, but like when I smoked, it does’t matter. When I smoked it smelled bad, spent alot of money, was not socially accepted and IT WAS KILLING ME!! But when I quit I had to change my whole routine. So I couldn’t kick back in the evening and smoke like a chimney and now I can’t kick back and pop some pills. Alot of mine has to do with being able to relax. AND, get pepped up for work in the morning. Wierd hugh??

Anyway, don’t fear the detox, plan on taking four days to baby yourself, whatever that means. I always made sure to have the grocery shopping done, the house cleaned and the laundry washed and put away along with the ironing. Then, I did whatever I felt like. If you want to work, great, but give yourself permission to feel like shit too. If you read my previous posts, I ‘m a strong believer in staying busy. I hate housework so that was one area I didn’t want to deal with. It’s hard to concentrate on anything the first few days but that will pass and then you need to find ways of filling in the time that you would usually relax and take a pill.

God bless you.

587 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 06.02.11 at 6:52 am }


I noticted that you said above that you used to smoke. how did you quit? i have noticed that since i have quit v that i am smoking less so i gues thats good. i can on ly quit one thing at a time though.
you mentioned how its socially unaccepted; i hate that i think its so wrong and judgemental of people.. but you are right its not accepted. i know everyone in my community and everyone knows me and i get a lot of crap for smoking and its also not accedpted in my profession. i love to smoke though; it does stink and its expensive; but how on earth did you quit? i have smoked for many many years and i was an athlete and smoked then too. i smoke atleast a pack a day. (less since no more v) anyways; was just wondering if you had advice on that subject. thnaks

588 Metoo { 06.02.11 at 7:31 am }

NSIP~~You should try an electronic cigarette!! I have cut WAY BACK using mine!! I got mine at Vapor4Life.com, and I just love it..there are days when I smoke only a couple real cigarettes! There are ALWAYS coupon codes for V4L too, so don’t order any until you email me and I’ll fill you in. Check it out!!

589 Metoo { 06.02.11 at 7:34 am }

Here’s the link. Seriously, THIS is a great way to start. I used to feel crappy in the morning if I had smoked too much the night before, and NOW that is HISTORY. You can do it too!!!


590 Travis { 06.02.11 at 9:43 am }

Day two of zero pills. Cold turkey from 8-10, sometimes more, for almost 6 years. I feel weak as death. and of course the screeming shits–I hate this. I don’t want to be around anyone, not family anyway. I’m going to give this recipe a try. Wish me luck.

591 Travis { 06.02.11 at 9:45 am }

Oh, I’ve been taking ten mgs the whole time somes 30s of morphine and on rare occations the little blue 100mg morphines.

592 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 06.04.11 at 7:11 am }

DAy two; that’s something right there!! I was taking 20 yellow norco 10s a day for 6 years; i am 3 weeks today.. the first week i was a beoatch!!! even my animals pissed me off. Super irritable!!! i took a week off work with the “flu” and after a few days you need to try and stay busy, busy, busy to keep your mind busy!! you have come farther than you know already!!! you should find the “about” page on left had side on home page under colums all the way to left. There are tons of people on it regularly and they all have great advice and inspiration.. YOU CAN DO THIS.. we have been using for years and years; gonna take some time for our bodies and minds to get right so hang in there!! and keep posting!!! keep us up to date!!! (About page)
prayers and thought with ya!! nsip

593 So many others { 06.08.11 at 8:21 am }

Reading these posts, I am amazed at how many other people, mentally , physicallly, and socially have become dependent or addicted. It sucks that because of a medical condition you have to take something to relieve the pain, but yet it never goes away and you are left with wanting more in more. Unfortunatly I have a unbelievable pain tolerance so therefore my level of medication is ridiculous. Every day I promise to quit, I need to taper back, I have gotten down to a low enough dose, and prob could manage here, but I would rather be off completely. But, with kids, life, husband, work, I am scared of being sick. Is it possible to wein enough to not be totally sick? that is my biggest fear. I know your body will feel something, but is it possible to not have the vomitting, I can take xanax to sleep, and often due at night instead of pain meds. I can go 12 hours a night without any meds, Ive never pushed my body to know what it can and can not tolerate, too scared. so I dont know how ling in the day I can go. Any advice, PLEASE

594 dude { 06.12.11 at 10:48 pm }

well im prepping to go through the worst wd i have ever experienced. I am now at about 240-300mg oxycontin a day. Should be a blast! i am wondering how well klonopins work during the withdrawal. But even more, can i take clonodine with klonopin? and how often can i take each? how much relief can i expect from these? i have 1mg kloni’s

595 IwilldothisNOW! { 06.13.11 at 4:16 am }

Omg!can’t believe I’m not alone! This site has bn so normative and motivating! Feel like vie been to college. Not exactly type of stuff I can just sit n talk to about n not b judged n get help n support. But now I think i can. Bn tkng bout 10 to 15 norco day n now finally have plan of action to stop. Like many thought wd were flus but now make sense and conformation of what I didn’t want to admit! I’m no longer working and have no INS benefits and once this last script runs out didn’t know what to do. But wl try krater and potassium and tramodol and set some time aside to deal w. Special thanks to Southern mom, Metoo, Char for sharing sooooo much info. I will post my progress n may email Metoo! May u all continue to be blessed!

596 Jesse { 06.14.11 at 10:04 pm }

Hand surgery a year ago then shoulder surgery 8 months ago, on 8-12 yellows a day now down to 4-5 . Got all my ingredients ready,tub all scrubbed down w/cable tv ran to the bathroom.Banana tree in the kitchen. refill my bars tomorrow, Gonna hit it the first day I wake up in WD’s pretty optimistic about this recipe…

597 IwilldothisNOW! { 06.16.11 at 3:47 am }

Has anyone tried KUDZA? Does it work like Kratom? I have read it helps w alcohol withdraw but unsuccessful in confirming if helps w detox from pain meeds or RLS?
Jesse, good luck! I’ve cleAred my schedule next week 2end my 8-10 a day norco! Tv access in restroom gd idea but hope won’t b that bad for u…or me!

598 IwilldothisNOW! { 06.16.11 at 4:01 am }

So many others! I Have the same plan of actiion as u! I think! I’m weaning down to but just in case…..I’d suggest to put a few away for dire emergency 4example vomiting n get the valarium n the other recipe items. I think were going to mix the recipe items up to find whAt works. Bananas seem to b pretty good help n rvwng others experience. When I withdrewb4 I didn’t realize it was withdrawals @the time n the vomiting was not the business! Ima start the recipe Mon after Fathers day! So keep me posted! Much success

599 Jesse { 06.16.11 at 5:58 am }

Looks like lots of multivitamins come close to fitting the bill in that category provided you like bananas (potassium) and peanuts (zinc).

600 SuzieQ { 06.22.11 at 7:38 pm }

Just stumbled across this site and I could have written so many of these posts myself. I am glad to know I am not alone. Prepared to go thru my own private hell soon. But it’s time, and I owe it to myself, and more importantly my young son. He deserves a mother, not the shell of a person I have become.

601 pinkerton { 06.23.11 at 3:05 am }

Welcome SusieQ!! We are all here for you and will be rooting you on when your time comes.

We usually hang out on the “about” page…upper left corner…so if you want to join us, we would be thrilled. There are several of us just starting, several veterans who have been clean for almost a year, and some like me who have relapsed 2 times and am on day 8 from my last detox. It’s not fun but it isn’t any worse than the flu.


602 Em's { 06.24.11 at 7:41 pm }

I am in my first 24 hours guys. I need help. I’m on the Thomas method. And kratom as of 5pm today. I am not awful yet. I am scared.

603 CarpaJ { 06.28.11 at 12:30 pm }

I didn’t read all the postings, but I think you all should hear my story. After 3 years of opiates, starting at 20 mg Percocet and up to 240+ mg of Oxycontin in the last 2 years, I weaned myself down to about 30 mg of Percocet for 2 weeks and then went cold turkey. It scares me to read how bad it is for some on much less than I, but I am on day 4 on Thomas’s Recipe, thanke ye sweet Thomas for that!!!!!!!!!!! I have no spasms, aches, nausea. I feel more of an anxiety and malaise and tiredness than anything, and I am working full time at a very demanding job. I just hide in my office, have taken 2000 mg of LTyrosine, the minerals, eaten a banana, drank lots of water, and crave baths when I get home. My family is VERY supportive and love me lots. I did the drugs legally, but it is still a brutal addiction that I have tried to quit but never tapered enough to make it. I feel strong and have no plans to EVER take that crap again. Counting pills sucks. I have taken tiny crumbs of some anxiety med but don’t want to get addicted to that. It does take the edge off. Good luck all……….we will make it and look back and go, “whew, glad that’s over……..”

604 CarpaJ { 06.28.11 at 12:40 pm }

Oh, by the way, I have another little story to tell. My pain doctor suddenly decided to only see a few patients in a limited practice and left tons of folks hanging, totally addicted on gobs of drugs, even cancer patients in tons of pain. He didn’t care about them at all. I didn’t know this, and he contacted me and I saw him for a few months, but he was nothing but a pusher man who chose some folks to medicate and keep addicted and some to let loose to suffer. Anyway, be grateful that you will be free and over this soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

605 IwilldothisNOW! { 06.28.11 at 11:01 pm }

Em’s!!!!! How u doing? And Did the kratom help? I’m wtng for it to come in the mail, I orderded the maeng capsules! My plan is to take the vitamins b4 I actually quit but taper down last few days and then tk kratom when it gets too bad!

606 Metoo { 06.29.11 at 5:07 am }

EMS!!!! Hang in there! Kratom is going to help you feel withdrawal free. If you have questions about how to use it, email me at
I hope you picked a good vendor~I know the good ones….You are going to be just fine, try not to be scared. Put on your brave face and KNOW that YOU are MAKING YOUR CHANGES AND OWNING them!!!
@CarpaJ….if you are having anxiety, stop taking the L-Tyrosine!!!!!! It WILL kick up anxiety! This I KNOW. Drink soothing teas instead! Chamomile, lavender, etc. Also, potassium supplements are the MOST beneficial that I found. Stay the course, and there WILL be a brighter day!!!


607 Pinkerton { 06.29.11 at 7:23 am }

EMS, Metoo is right, the Kratom will help soooo much. She is also right about the L-Tyrosine….it gave me alot of anxiety. Please get rid of the L-Tyrosine and give the Kratom time to do its magic.

608 Metoo { 06.29.11 at 7:48 am }

Thanks for the backup, Pink!!! ;) We sure know our stuff!!! How are you doing, kiddo??
How has your anxiety been? You will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon if you haven’t caught a glimpse of it yet! Hang in there, chickiepoo!!!

609 CarpaJ { 06.29.11 at 8:28 am }

Thank you for the info……….I just developed a headache last night, not incapacitating but steady. I had never heard of Kratom. I will try that. I am feeling much better except I yawn a lot, go from tired to a bit of stress. I don’t know which is worse, but hanging in there. And I am starting to go hours without thinking about this crap, which is great. Thank you and Love to you all……………….

610 Metoo { 06.29.11 at 10:05 am }

And love right back to you, my friend!!! :) And you should come over to the ‘about’ page…find the link in the upper right hand corner!! See you there!! :)

611 CarpaJ { 07.01.11 at 7:31 am }

I am on my 7th day, and I am starting to feel alive. I left home w/o the Zanax (spelling?) and decided to just not take anything except I am going to drink some “Tension Tamer” Celestial Seasonings tea, take my Lisinopril for blood pressure, and see how normal really feels. I am very grateful to be feeling pretty normal……headache gone, drug free now for 7 days, at least from the curse of the opiates…..truly a curse. By the way, when you take opiates your respiration slows from what I have heard, and I am deep breathing, trying to increase my breathing. It is like learning how again. Try it, I think it helps.
We are all beautiful and pure beings that have been through a lot. We are not alone in these bodies that are holding us. We are choosing to be here in this precious moment, and we are all truly well in our natural state. And try to believe and remember that a lot of our pain is mental. Sometimes opiates make our pain worse, so getting back to our natural state will help our bodies do the work they do so well, dealing with our pain for us.
Peace and love to you all………………..

612 CarpaJ { 07.01.11 at 7:35 am }

If you all get the chance, read the words of a Tool song called “Parabola.” I was paraphrasing some of that, and through this detox it has been my mantra. I hope it helps you, it has me………

613 Metoo { 07.01.11 at 7:53 am }

Beautiful post, CarpaJ!!!! Congratulations on day 7!!! You are DOING THIS THING!!!! I am proud of you!!!!! :D

614 Pinkerton { 07.02.11 at 3:05 am }

Hey Metoo, I’m doing pretty well, a few ups and a few downs but I think I’ve leveled out to a place where my body and mind is trying to figure it all out …. for example, I’ve been physically feeling better but emotionally I’ve been a holy terror!! I mean pissed off at the world and everyone in it. I was pissed at my mom (who is a saint) for not being more excited when I told her that I’m taking the kids to Gettysburg, my friend for, well, nothing, :) my bio sister (who is long over due for me to pissed off at her), my boss for asking if I had enough PTO days banked up in case my kids get sick, like it’s any of her f#cking business…..and so on, and so on….I even got into a fight with a carnival employee yesterday! I think this is normal but hope I am not a raging bitch for the rest of my life….OH, I forgot, I told my doctor of 25 yrs that I wanted my records cause I’m going somewhere else…see what I mean?…out of control…

615 CarpaJ { 07.07.11 at 7:34 am }

Hi, Friends……..Today is Day 13 and I have stopped feeling bad and stopped thinking about drugs!!!!! I don’t quite have the urge/energy/desire to work out, but other than that Life Is Good. I also have people around me that keep me strong. I am never going there again. I think I am pretty good to go………
Love and Best wishes to you all : )

616 CarpaJ { 07.07.11 at 7:36 am }

Oh, I forgot to mention I got a big whopping zit on my chin yesterday… I think it is a bit o’poison coming out….the last bastion of the dastardly stuff. Cheers!!!

617 CarpaJ { 07.11.11 at 12:04 pm }

I think my work is done here…………….I am now on Day 17. I am pretty good now. I have been using Advil for pain, Advil P.m. for sleeping occasionally, and a little L-Tyrosine for some energy. I will never go back………………and I wish you all a lot of luck!!! Take good care.

618 scaredtoquit { 07.13.11 at 9:42 am }

I am a 37yr old mother and have been taking 2 and a half 7.5 vics a day. My doc has me on them for chronic back pain, I just got my script 07/06/2011 of 100 of them and now Im out. Cant get my friends to get me some because Im too far away. I promised myself and my husband I would only take them how I should but of course I didnt. Im scared as hell to stop because of the wd sympyoms. I have been taking them for about 3 years now. About a yr and a half ago I went on the road with my husband, hes a truck driver. I bought 30 5′s to take with me but that only lasted me 4 days, I didnt take as much back then, still too many. We were gone 2 weeks so I had no choice I did taper them and the wd were bad but I did it. I came home got my script and here we are now a year and a half later. I didnt taper them this time so Im thinking my wd will be alot worse this time. They dont do anthing for me any more except keeps wd away. Im tired of spending money I dont have but Im scared to tell my doc for two reasons. I wont get any pills anymore when I do need them and I dont do drugs of any kind except these so I dont want the label. It has been 19 hours and feel like crap, I dont want to take these anymore except for my back pain. Im scared and dont know what to do……

619 scaredtoquit { 07.13.11 at 10:53 am }

I meant 2 and a half vic 7.5 every 3 to 4 hours a day sorry.

620 scaredtoquit { 07.13.11 at 5:57 pm }

Well I went and found 12 7.5′s and one 5 Im gonna taper down with what I have and see if it gets easier. I DO WANT TO QUIT!!!! Im just soooo scared of the withdrawls!!!!

621 Kitty Mom { 07.14.11 at 2:33 am }

Dear scared….The fear of the withdrawals and the fact that our bodies need and crave the pills is what keeps us addicts. And, no matter what we take, prescription meds or street drugs, the withdrawals and pain are the same. Many times I was in withdrawals because I used up my last pill way to early and there was no alternative. If you really want to quit, you can survive the detox. There is proof on this board that many of us have done it and survived. Your mind set has to be ready. You have to tell yourself, F&%k it – this is enough. You have to dry up your sources and not have the mind set of maybe I will need them again. This one thing will keep you from getting clean….for us addicts, one pill is not an option. There are a bunch of us over on the “about” page that struggle and triumph daily and we are making it work. We may not be 100% happy all the time….but, hey, we are working on it. We will be glad to be there with you as you decide and walk the path.
Love and best wishes
Just for today – pills are not an option

622 Pinkerton { 07.14.11 at 3:24 am }

Dear Scared,
Don’t be scared. It isn’t fun, it’s a different kind of sick, not as bad as the flu or even a bad cold in my case but just uncomfortable and I felt like I was on day 3 of the flu, where you don’t feel well, you feel weak and tired, and irritable etc. But I didn’t throw up and only had a little dirahrea. It all passed in about 4 days and then I felt better but then have to deal with post-withdrawl stuff. You have to be ready emotionally.

Good luck. And remember, it’s ok to feel like shit, we don’t always have to be at the top of our game. Do the best you can today and the best we can do will vary day to day, hour by hour.


623 Chris { 07.14.11 at 12:11 pm }

Hello, appreciate all of your posts. Took 4-500mg Vicodin for 5 years for migraine pain. Migraine pain subsided 2 weeks ago, so I bought Kratom, an herb, to help me get off the vicodin. Take 2 Kratoms per day, seemed to help. Took one vicodin per day for 2 weeks to wean me off. Have cut out all of the vicodin for 3 days now. Have had all of the usual symptoms, but severe runs for 2 days. Just took an Imodium and one-half tab of vicodin 500mg. Feel quilty. If I repeat that half tab for a couple of more days will withdrawal be easier, or will it just prolong final withdrawal. My doctor, Dr. Drew told me that it doesn’t matter how much you take, or have taken, everyone still needs to go a similar withdrawal. Is this true? Thanks.

624 Chris { 07.14.11 at 12:28 pm }

My typos and errors prove that I am going through a hard withdrawal right now. Sorry.

625 scaredtoquit { 07.14.11 at 1:07 pm }

Thank you guys. I really do want to stop I just took a couple cause I couldnt stand it, I feel so guilty for being sooo selfish. We recently moved an hour away from everyone we know and I really thought now Im too far it wont be easy to get maybe I can quit because I have to. Well that idea was wishful thinking on my part because it seems my new neighbor is addicted to so of course we help eachother out. He doesnt know where to get them because he moved states away so he pays for the gas for me to go get them from my old town and me being a weakling I cant say no. I know if I do this I get some too. For a long time I did only take them once in awhile for my back never everyday. Then my husband and I had not been geting along and I soon realized he was sleeping with another woman. I knew my mood always was better when I took them so I started taking them because I just wanted my emotional pain to go away. I hate myself everyday now for that stupid thought. I never wanted to be this person I am today. My husband smoked pot when we first got together and I told him he had to be drug free to be with me and he did it and now look at me. He is so against drug use now but he doesnt know how to help. He is never home because he is a truck driver. We got through the cheating thing but now I cant stop this stupid thing I did to myself. Its funny I started taking them to feel happy now everytime I take them I just want to cry. Im not the only one in my family with this problem my sister has it worse then I do if you can believe that and now because of pills we arent even speaking. She takes twice of what I do daily and Im scared she is gonna kill herself. I know only she can help herself but I have seen her drop 50 plus pounds in 3 months and I have to wonder if it is because of what we are doing to ourselves. I just wish I could leave for a month because if I ever do stop I will never take another pill. I dont ever want to feel like this again. Im more depressed about this now then I was about my husband cheating which started me taking these things. I will quit taking these I have told everyone I need to quit. I hope I have the strength and will power to do this because certain people I cant wipe out of my life completely they are family whom I am very close to. Im hoping maybe I can talk my husband into helping me by letting me go out on the road with him so Im away from anyone who will give them to me and my kids who make quitting hard. Its not their fault but I am so pissy with them when Im out of pills. They are all older teenagers so they can handle things with me gone for a few weeks. I will stop talking now it just feels good to get it all out when Im feeling so low. Thanks again for taking the time to read my ramblings. I will quit because I have to for me and my families happiness.

626 Kitty Mom { 07.14.11 at 2:33 pm }

Scared – Now I heard one positive comment on your post. Yes, go with your husband on the road – and lay in the back of the truck if you have to. I KNOW exactly what you are going through. I was in the exact – I mean exact situation….feeling like shit when I took the pills – the pills wearing off in about twenty minutes – and then feeling like bigger shit because my body craved them. First and foremost comment is – you cannot help how you feel – you are addicted and until you rid your body of the accumulated effects on your brain and on your body – you are going to keep feeling the same. I know it is hard, but you need to just do it – just think positive – just know that you will rid yourself of the withdrawals in about a week. You WILL NOT die from withdrawal – but you Will die from using or end up in jail from getting illegal prescriptons. I know this sounds harsh – even mean – but I only tell you this because I have seen it first hand in myself and in others. Drugs eventually kill you – if not in death – in relationships – in quality of life.
So, just as you are led in real life to those who enable your addiction – you can be led on this site to those who will enable you to quit. The choice is yours but I hope you join us on the other side.
Love and best wishes

627 CJ { 07.14.11 at 3:18 pm }

So I had surgery 5 weeks ago today. I know it hasn’t been that long but this is ridiculous! The procedure was a particularly painful thing to recover from and my pain is going to continue awhile yet. However, for the last week I’ve had to take the hydrocodone just to be functional–if I don’t I have diarrhea, nausea, sweats, and my anxiety goes through the roof. Yesterday I talked to my surgeon about it and he did not believe I could be having these problems and would not help me. I couldn’t believe it either but as I look back ever since the two week mark if I’m a few hours late with a dose it’s hell to pay! The pain is rough but the other stuff is worse! I don’t see how this could have happened in such a short time??? I really don’t think I am imagining it though.

628 scaredtoquit { 07.14.11 at 3:36 pm }

Thanks so much Kitty. I have been reading through lots of posts and can see myself in lot of what people have been through. I do choose to quit I know with all my heart that is what I WANT to do. It is a hard thing when I cant seem to get away from it all. I watch tv and you see young kids and adults how look so happy and I think I used to be just like that. Then I think it must be so nice to feel excited and happy naturally with out needing pills to do it for you, which dont do it anymore either. I want sooooooo much to be happy and healthy naturally without the need for pills. I miss me sooo much if that makes any sense. Thanks again!!!! Oh and I dont mind harsh comments I got me here, only Im to blame.

629 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.14.11 at 5:13 pm }

welcome welcome welcome girl!!! there are sooo many wonderful great exceptional people on this website whom will walk you through this and be here for you!!! YOU have to make that decision. i am 61 days today and cant believe it. i was taking what your sister is taking for many years and i AM lucky that i am alive. I think going on the road with your hubby is a great idea. You are going to go through some physical pain but its nothing some ibuprofen and tylenol cant minimize. use the thomas recipe and ibuprofen and tylen alternating for aches. USE US!!! ask us questions and advice and we will try to help as much as possible. i owe my 61 days to pink and kitty mom; i couldnt have done this without them and everyone else on the “about” page. you should hop over to that part of this website cuz there are sooo many people there to help.. one thing that you said was you would occasionally take for back pain if you got off them. just some advice; i don’t think any of us can ever take them for pain no matter what because its tooo risky. all it takes is one to fall back in that merry – go – roud of where am i gonna find my next pills. i too have driven hours before to get them so i get that completely. hope you stick this out and know that there are people here who have done and been through the exact. i mean exact same thing!!! YOU have to choose it though!!! hang in there..

630 scaredtoquit { 07.14.11 at 6:52 pm }

I have only took two at 10am and 2 at 4:30pm and it is now 10:30pm my time and thinking of taking two more that is conciderably less then normal so yeah Im feeling pretty bad right now I will not have any left by tomorrow afternoon and I WILL NOT BE GETTING ANYMORE!!!!!! I just told my husband the whole truth in what I have been doing and he is sooo worried he told my kids to keep an eye on me til he gets home. I feel bad that he is worried I tried to tell him I will be ok but I dont think that helped. He knew I was over taking my meds because I had to buy more than I was prescribed but he didnt know how bad its been. It felt good telling him the truth and now I have no choice but to stop he wont let this go on. Thats what needed to be done a long time ago but I couldnt tell him because then I knew I wouldnt be able to sneak around and get them anymore. I feel like now maybe really is my time I hope this works. I want to be me again so bad because this isnt me at all. I wont EVER take another pain pill as long as I can help it!!!!!!! If I had known this could happen before I took my first one I wouldnt have done that one. I have some of the things on the list but no money to get the rest so Im pretty much on my own. I know I can and will do this. I am soooooo thankful I found this site because I think and believe that reading all your stories gave me the strength I needed to start this journey!!!! I will be back I know because this helps me to keep my mind off taking more. Just to let you all know I have high blood pressure, hypothroidism, and high cholesterol. So I was sure if all the things on the list are safe for me to take.

631 Chris { 07.18.11 at 2:56 pm }

Hi, I just wrote to you all you about 3 paragraphs regarding what is happening to me right now. Selfish, but I need advice. Lost my post somehow. If the updated post somehow does come up please excuse me. I will post my first comment a couple of days ago in “Quotation Marks.” I do not have the energy or mind set to re-type my entire update. Lucky You. Here is my previous post:
“Hello, appreciate all of your posts. Took 4-500mg Vicodin for 5 years for migraine pain. Migraine pain subsided 2 weeks ago, so I bought Kratom, an herb, to help me get off the vicodin. Take 2 Kratoms per day, seemed to help. Took one vicodin per day for 2 weeks to wean me off. Have cut out all of the vicodin for 3 days now. Have had all of the usual symptoms, but severe runs for 2 days. Just took an Imodium and one-half tab of vicodin 500mg. Feel quilty. If I repeat that half tab for a couple of more days will withdrawal be easier, or will it just prolong final withdrawal. My doctor told me that it doesn’t matter how much you take, or have taken, everyone still needs to through a similar withdrawal. Is this true? Thanks.
UPDATE IN SUMMARY: I am still tapering off, 1 V. every other day. Does Withdrawal-Ease really help?
Runs, muscle aches, anxiety continue even with 2 Kratoms per day. I would buy the Withdrawal-Ease right now, need it right now, but can’t afford One-Day Shipping. Please Advise. Thanks.

632 skndlust { 07.20.11 at 5:38 pm }

i’ve been taken at least 10 vorco 10-325 a day if not a couple more and today after not being able to refill until doctors appt on Fri i prepared to start detoxing using the thomas receipe i bought total minieral pills which has every mineral in the receipe plus the L-tyrosine and the B12 liquid for under the tongue. I have tried before w/o the recipe and felt like death i am raising two small grandchildren and need to know what to expect i am so scared i have tried before someone please talk me thru

633 skndlust { 07.20.11 at 5:46 pm }

please please help me tell me what to expect each day i’m worried because i have an engagement on saturday that i can’t miss i just want to break down and cry no one knows about my addiction i need to function for the two little ones i really need some something please help its so much i want to say that i just can’t seem to get it all out right now i just want to STOP I pray that God will help me through this with out much pain he brought me through cancer and so much more but each time i have tried this by the end of the first or second full day i ……

634 Pinkerton { 07.21.11 at 2:31 am }

Good Morning.

Chris, I would say you are already having w/d if you are taking only 1 every other day. If you stop altogether now I don’t think it is going to be much worse than what you are going through now. In my opinion, continuing to take the 1/2 vic is just prolonging the final step and I think you are going through the toughest part and won’t even notice a difference when you stop altogether. Day four was always hardest for me.

skndlust, I’m so sorry to hear that you are so stressed out because it will be ok. I’m not sure I’m following when you plan to stop taking the pills and if you are going to quit for good or are you going to get a refill on Friday? (this fri or next?). Here is how is went for me. The first day or two were uncomfortable, didn’t feel great, felt like the day after you have the flu, then the 3rd and 4th days were the worst for me. I was very weak, sleepless, hot and cold chills, dirarhea, but still not as sick as the full blown flu. I was able to function. Depending on the engagement and where you are in your detox you might be able to handle it but if you can get out of it at all, do it. If no one knows then you can claim to have the flu and they won’t know the difference. I did not vomit, I did have dirarhea, chills, RLS and couldn’t sleep, which was the worst for me, and didn’t feel like eating, had body aches but didn’t crave the pills until I felt better. You will be able to take care of your Grandchildren but I’m not too sure about the Saturday night engagement. You may want to go over to the “about” page on this site as that is where everyone hangs out and there are alot of good people who can help both you and Chris.

My Prayers are with you both and you can do this.


635 scaredtoquit { 07.21.11 at 4:56 am }

skndlust I just quit taking about 15 to 20 7.5 vic’s a day. It has now been 57 hours since I took a vic. Now I cut them to 6 pills for 2 days then 4 pills for 2 days then I took 2 pills for two days. I went through wd during that time I felt like I had the flu and was bitchy as hell. I wouldnt have been able to cut the pills back like that without my husband by the way. I bought some Kratom and the first day with no vic’s I took two of those when i felt the wd were just too bad to stand. I havent felt any wd since then I feel great. I wouldnt take the Kratom if I were you if you feel your just going to replace the vic’s with them. I know I wont because even though they are capsules they leave a funny taste in my mouth. I was willing to try anything to get through wd’s though. I havent had any depression or fillings of now I could take them again because I know if I would take vic’ again it would start again and Im done with them. It is still early for me so Im am ready for the feeling to come just havent yet. I went through my script of 100 7.5′s in a weeks time and I knew we couldnt buy enough to get me through to my next script so I decided enough is enough and here I am. It can be done if you are truely ready to start living again. I dont concider my existance while taking vic’s really living anymore I was more unhappy in the end then I really knew while on those stupid pills. I feel free again and its great!!!! You can do this!!!

636 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.21.11 at 6:29 am }

welcome welcome welcome; i agree with everything pink said to you. she knows her stuff. she has been through this more than once. i think you are probably already going through some w/d. for me the body aches werer the worst and the diahreah; ibuprofen/tylenol for aches and imodium for the poops really helped. YOU CAN DO THIS. you have to make your mind up and just do it!! there are a bunch of us on the “about ” page . if you could find your way over there . there are tons of wonderful people there to help you through this!!!

welcome to the most wonderful place ever for support and help through your detox. most of us are on the “about ” page. and we will all be threr for you and walk you through detox. posting really helps and having someone to talk to that understands what you are going throug. i personally was taking 15 to 20 750 or norco 10s a day for about 6 years. i probably am lucky i am alive huh? anyways; i have 10 weeks tomorrow and couldn’t have done it without my frineds on the “about” page. there is soooo much support on that page . you have no idea how many people will reach out to you and who know what you are going throug. what to expect?? well for everyone its different. some people like “scared” and “quitting now” well they barely had any wd symptoms at all. i personally took a week off of work and it took a good 2 weeks for my leggs to quit aching and the diahreah hung on for a while too. also sleep was difficult for me i had some major resless legs syndrom. its nothing you can’t live through. sounds like you have some kidddos to do this for too. you will be find. those grandkids will make you happy and know that you have important people thta you are doing this for!!! DON”t get that refill!! you have to make your mind up that you wannt do this and if you do get the refill; well then we will be here for you when you decide to do this!! i was scared also; but i feel better now than i have in a long time. the pills used to give me energy but lately all i wanted to do was take a bunch of vics and sit on my couch smoke cigs and watch t.v. i have beeen more active since i quit taking them and notice things like birds chirping and well just … LIFE. find the “about” page. you can search it from home page in upper right corner or under recent posts it says … so and so on about or under catagories to the left it says about. i will check in on ya later. YOU CAN DO THIS
love and prayers neesip

637 NorCal Lady { 07.23.11 at 6:00 am }

I need help ~ I’m in 6 days of detoxing from 12-15 Norco’s for 7 years and I feel like I’m going to die….I’m using Thomas’ Recipe, but I’m so worried about the weight loss. I’m 46 and just dropped to under 90 pounds (I’m 5’3 1/2″). I’m drinking as much Ensure as I can, but it’s a huge struggle. I don’t want the Norco’s, but I want to know if my particular hell will ever end? It’s BRUTAL…I’m on my mobile phone and can’t seem to navigate to the “About” page…all I can seem to do is lay curled in a fetal position thrashing around (even with all supplements). I only have enough energy to draw 1 bath per day and then I’m wiped out. I’m not sure whether or not to call 911?? Or get to an ER…I went with a rapid taper (12-15 pills down to 4 for three days, then 1 1/2 for 5, now nothing for 6). I am just a wreck

638 HadEnough { 07.25.11 at 7:49 pm }

I to have been on pain meds for many years. It started out with back pain(herniated Discs) But I have been on them for nearly a decade. They really dont do anything for me anymore except take the edge off and I always say They make me feel normal. I just had spinal injections this spring and my back feels pretty good But i still have a fair amount of pain with bad knees and my feet. Been using norco for a few years and they really dont help the pain much unless i eat them like M&Ms. I really would love to have my life back but I’m not sure if I will ever be completely free of them as i do have legitimate pain. But Im sure as hell going to try. I know i have tried a few times in the past but by the end of day 2 Life is unbearable. Going to try weaning off again. NEVER STOP TRYING. I keep telling myself one day i will make it.

639 Pinkerton { 07.26.11 at 3:48 am }

NorCal Lady, How are you doing. I just saw your post because the one from HadEnough showed up on the right hand side of the home page. Please try to find your way over to the “about” page or your posts may be missed. It’s on the left hand side of the home page or the right hand side of the home page under “recent Posts”. How much weight have you lost? What is your regular weight? By day 6 you should be feeling better so I am concerned that you are still struggling this much and are so debilitated. I have never advised anyone to go to the ER as I have always felt that it will be ok in a few days but in your case I don’t think calling your doctor and going in would be a bad idea. You may dehydrated or have a secondary issue. Is there anyone around to keep watch over you? Everyone reacts differently to different circumstances and you may be a rare case that the detox was too much for your little body to take going almost cold turkey. Just my opinion. Please post and let us know that you are ok. Try to find the about page.

Had Enough, How many were you taking per day? So this is your 3rd day? Please try to hold out at least a couple weeks and see if your pain subsides because alot of it may be due to the detox. It comes with the full body aches and anywhere that was already a trouble spot on your body will be magnified during detox. Take lots of hot showers, alternate tylenol and advil, and try to strecth and a little exercise. I have back, knee and feet trouble but once I moved past detox I realized that the pain was not unbearable or even unpleasant…the pills made me feel that it would be because whenever I went too long between doses I could barely walk on my feet, my knees aches, and my back hurt like hell and now they are no more a problem than when I was on the pill…ibuprofen kicks the pain just as well as the vics. Please try to get over to the “about” page and let us know how you are doing. Lots of good people who will be there to talk with and help you through this. You will be going thru the worst today and tomorrow and then you should be done.


640 Kitty Mom { 07.26.11 at 1:34 pm }

Norcal – Oh, please come back and let us know how you are doing. I am so glad you posted and so worried about you. I think for the quantity you were taking and the amount of time you were using, that you probably would have some serious withdrawals, but I agree with Pinkerton that perhaps you should see a doctor and make sure there is nothing else going on. Withdrawal does suck but with the loosing of weight and you being so tiny to begin with, you need to be able to consume some liquids and foods. Please, please let us know how you are doing.
@ dearest Had Enough….your name says it all…and that is when we all decide to quit the pills, when we have had enough.
There is no time like the present to take that leap and start the healing process….My God, I can hardly remember it now after almost 11 months. That is why I feel so Blessed to be on this site so that I can remember the pain and agony of pill addiction….the fear of running out – the search for more sources – the lies – the hiding from the truth – the abundance of cash being spent. All of you know what I mean. Make that leap folks. In a couple of weeks you will be over the worst and on your way to healing. And, there are many of us here to hold your hand, to pray, and to qive you advice through our experience.
Thanks everyone for praying for my husband and his medical condition….and Pink, with our prior experience with diabetic ulcers and wounds, it is not unusual at all not to be healing yet. There has to be some intervention – strong IV antibiotics, debridement, surgery, and by the grace of God, His intervervention – because these things are stubborn and do not want to heal. That is why they are so darned scary.
Jen – are you becoming a nurse? If not, let us know what it is you are pursuing. I wish you success in all you do – and if you are going into a medical field – there is so much opportunity out there for that. Good luck my little friend!
Neesip – keep up the great work in reaching out and don’t worry about the spelling – I can really tell by your words that you are sincere, honest, and helpful to others. Keep up the good work.
For anyone I missed, I apologize. It is so easy to miss posts on here.
For all those who have been MIA lately – get your asses back here. We need you – I need you.
For anyone who wants to email me, I am @

I would be glad to hear from Y’all

641 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.26.11 at 3:11 pm }

NOrcal Lady
like kitty said; please come back. your dosage sounds just like mine was!!!!!! YES it gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!! i promise i promise i promise!!!!
i went through a couple weeks of pure hell!! i was taking 15 – 20 norcos a day for close to 7 years also!! i never ever ever thought i had the strength to get off of em but here i am at 11 weeks on friday ; so you can too !!!!!!!!!!! i hope you see our responses and know thatt we are here. if you can’t make it to the about page ; we will keep looking for you here. i have heard other people say that about their phones. it took a good couple weeks. i couldn’t eat, sleep, my body was in pure pain. hotttt hottt baths and ibuprofen/tylenol helped with aches!! as far as food goes; it took almost 3 weeks for me to get my appetite back!!! i hope you are out there and reading that there are people here to help you through this!!! hang in there girl you can do it and it WILL get better!!!!!!!!!!!

642 HadEnough { 07.26.11 at 5:41 pm }

Sorry to say i am not on day 2. I still have some left and i have been trying to nurse them. There are good days when i have 6-7 and other days when i have 12-15. I am just so sick of all of this i just want to throw up. The longest i have made it cold turkey is only 3 days. But i’m really working on the right mindset as i think that may really help when things get tuff. So far my worst problems seem to be no sleep and the trips to the toilet . Its really hard as i manage a company and i have to be there every day. I have even thought about talking to human resources but i am ashamed to admit it to them. I have a decent job but end up living check to check due to this situation. I will keep you informed on how things are going as i will be out tomorrow and i”m going to try not to buy anymore. Thanks for your input.

643 Billie { 07.26.11 at 6:40 pm }

I take about 3-4 vicodins a day…I am inching towards detox…I have tried outside assistance but they will not help me because I don’t have the money. I take a 750 the minute I wake up and then watch the clock every 4 hours to take more. I have been on this site several times reading and reading and I am SO THANKFUL to see this site and see that everyone is supportive of each other and keeps coming back. I am petrified and embarressed and know that I am strong but soon I am going to run out and out. I could go to the doctor and fake an illness and try and get more but at the same time I am SO ready to quit. I have seen alot of posts for Kratom and if someone could post to me a legitimate site that I can get it from i would appreciate it. THANK YOU ALL for this site….I know that I have been reading it in secret and I’m sure many others have been as well.

Thank you

644 Pinkerton { 07.27.11 at 3:41 am }

Good Morning!

@ HadEnough, I understand and at least you have started the process. There are a few really strong people on this site who quit the first time they tried. Me on the other hand, I had to go through 2 or 3 relapses before I finally got it. I needed to be in the right mind set to make it….you MUST be motivated to do this!! We are all here to support you whether you quit tomorrow or not. It’s not about judging someone on here. It’s about being able to relate to the addiction and help each other along no matter where we are in our journey. I was never able to wean myself down, in fact I would use more because I thought “what the hell, might as well live it up while I can” …… I have found that weaning was a drug out form of detox and I was constantly miserable and counting the pills and the days and so on. However, I was not taking more than 7 in one day. If you can stay at 6-7 for a week and then go cold turkey, it will suck but you can make it. Pretend you have the flu. I personally didn’t want my doctor or job to know I had this problem so I pretended I had the flu and even after I detoxed the first time, I was embarrassed to tell my family that I had relapsed so I pretended to them that I caught the bug. They never knew the difference. That is one good thing about this type of detox…you can pass it off as the flu. When you are really ready, can you take off at least two days from work? A long weekend maybe? It will be worth it in the long run. If you can give yourself four days to do nothing, have all your work caught up, house clean, laundry done, groceries, and if you have kids, have their needs met (whatever they are) and pick a weekend where you will have the least amount of disruption in your life. After day four you will feel better, not great, still tired, but you will be able to get through a work day and then come home and be exhausted but you can do it. If you can get ahold of valiums, take some of those just during the four day detox so you can get some sleep and also take the potassium supplements. Try to get as much exercise as possible…it really does help..force yourself.

One last thing…please keep posting. Even if you are using, keep posting because it will help someone else as well as yourself. When I relapsed and used for another month or so, I kept posting and supported others because I knew I wasn’t the only person that has relapsed but wants to quit. It also kept me in contact with some very caring people who are unconditional in their support. Once you decide you need to quit the pill will never feel as good. When I used for years I didn’t think about quitting and was ok with things but as soon as I realized I needed to stop, I was never the same and neither was my high.

Good luck to you.

NorCal Lady, please let us know that you are ok. We are genuine in our concern and want to make sure you are doing alright.


645 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.27.11 at 4:40 pm }

welcome , welcome, i know this crap is scary but you CAN do this!! you should try to find the “about” page; we all hang out over there. idk anything about kratkrom; but if you find the about page i know thres a link thre and pink knows about it. we will all be there for ya through this. i was sooo f’n sacared to do this and friday will be 11 weeks. can’t believe it but i did it and i couldnt have done it without all my new friends here and atheir support.

Had enough
pink is right; YOU have to have the right mindset and you are the only one who can decide to do this; like she said when you are ready we are all here or even if you are not ready; we are here to prepare you mentally. posting really helped me. i couldn’t have done it otherwise; it kept my mind busy and was an outlet and a source of support. YOU CAN do this. i can’t believe that i am not spending my days wondering where in the hell i am gonna get my next vic from or if its been long enough time for me to take another or just say screw it and pop another anyways. its a vicious cycle and one i am glad to be off. hope we can help you (and billie too)
good luck kids

646 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 12:45 am }

Kittymom, Pinkerton, & NSIP:

THANK you and I’m sorry I was gone for a few days. I wasn’t sure if anyone was going to respond and symptoms got MUCH worse, but I stuck it out and truly left it in God’s hands…all I could do is pray and ask for forgiveness.

(BTW, I still can’t navigate to “About” from my phone. I’m able to keep a very detailed timeline of my symptoms & experience and will post for others when I shoot out the other end of this.)

Today was the first day I had 9 hours of feeling relatively “good”, then it went to “hell in a handbasket” again. I’m only sleeping between 1 hour, 45 minutes per night and 3 hours and 30 minutes ~ it’s horrible. During my “good” hours today, I was able to eat a banana, two scrambled eggs with cheese and a Fuji Apple. Unfortunately, mid-afternoon the stomach cramping, feeling hot, yet freezing and sweaty/clammy at the same time and then dreaded diarrhea (even though I took Immodium).

To answer the normal weight question ~ I try to keep myself above 102 ~ I was born with Celiac Disease so my diet is extremely limited (gluten free foods only), so I’m “normally” seriously underweight anyhow. Probably why I’m having wicked withdrawals ~ I’m not beefed up enough to begin with.

I don’t want to alert any of my doctors because they will absolutely freak out and admit me for the nourishment issue. I’m going to at least try to get through the next few days before I consider it. If I could feel better from the withdrawals, I’d be able to focus on nourishing my body.

You guys all seem like great “experts” and I respect your advice: the insomnia is a nightmare; does it get better and approximately when? And the hot/cold/clammy/sweaty thing? Any experience with a timeline? I think I can buy myself another 5-7 days, but I have a client that is desperate to get me on retainer (I’m a Brand Strategist) and I REALLY need the gig (I’m an Independent Consultant and haven’t truly worked since last October! I’m just about out of savings.

I’m sorry if this post is so disjointed, I do feel like today all of this “mental clarity” came rushing back and I’m thing WTF have I DONE?? I want to get out and back to living again. I don’t feel hopeless, just physically miserable.
I have Faith that I can do this.

647 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 12:55 am }

PS , I meant to expand on the email being disjointed, but I got excited about the clarity and jumped topics. I’ll write more later today. It’s 1:50 am and I feel the slightest bit sleepy, so I’m going to take advantage and try to sleep a bit.

I also meant to throw in a comment about ANYONE can be an addict and their peers and loved ones would be SHOCKED ~ I’m one of “those” addicts. Norco is wicked on your system and I pray I never have a craving for it again.

Much Love,

NorCal Lady

648 scaredtoquit { 07.28.11 at 7:49 am }

Billie I got mine from Kratom King and they get it to you as quick as you need it, of course it costs extra. I dont think I could have done it with out it, I just dont think its a good idea for anyone who will replace the vic’s with kratom. I started taking 6 to 8 per day and Im down to 4 per day. I have been taking them for about a week and two days. Good luck to you. I havent had a vic in one week two days and 12 hours.

649 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 8:32 am }


Only 3 hours and 40 minutes of sleep ~ waaah! Today I woke up sweaty/clammy at 5:40 am with Bad stomach cramps, horrible nausea and massive aches & pains in my neck & lower back. So much for a good start hope the day gets better. eye pain again too with a headache. I forced down Ensure Plus and a banana. My vitamins and L-Tyrosine came right up, so I’ll try to get more down later. I’ll keep checking to see if you guys wouldn’t mind hanging in here with me.

650 Kitty Mom { 07.28.11 at 1:15 pm }

NorCal – all I can tell you is – the sleep returns – not sure when, but it comes back to normal and the other symptoms subside also. I hope you feel better soon – it is so worth getting these pills out of your system. I would not wish that cycle of addiction on my worst enemy. Please hang in there and it will be over before you know it and it is SO very worth it!

651 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 1:51 pm }

Thanks Kitty….Addiction IS a wicked cycle. I just can’t WAIT until I’m able to feel like sunshine is radiating from my body instead of poison ~ I DO feel thankful that I am not battling the mental side ~ I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to get into this mess again.

I am so very tired right now, but sleep eludes me. I feel like I could take a nap, but I’ve been laying here for two hours and no rest. Maybe soon? I would be happy with even an hour nap!

I’m sorry keep posting to the wrong thread ~ I went through all the categories on the mobile app, and none of them are labeled “About”.

Be back soon,


652 Gottadoitnow! { 07.28.11 at 4:56 pm }

I am taking my last 10mg narco now as I type this I have come to terms that this addiction has taken over my entire life! For the last 5 years I have been taking 6-8 a day more if I had thanks to a person I once considered my friend! Try this, I remember that day SO clearly it’s been a down ward spiral since than. I hide it from my boyfriend whom I’ve been with for 8 years! So I call myself a functioning addict, I have two kids and I feel like I missed out on so much because I was high half the time! Anyways, wish me luck as I go on this journey! I know I can do it!!

653 Need some inspiration PLEASE { 07.28.11 at 6:16 pm }

Nor. Cal
I am soooooo glad u are here!!,! Be back bright and esrly fri morn to talk!!

654 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 7:03 pm }

Hi Gottadoit:

I truly wish you ALL of the luck and strength/willpower in the world. I just started posting Saturday (I think), so I know what you’re about to go through ~ as KittyMom said “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy”. I pray your journey down the path to sobriety is less physicallly painful than mine has been.

My habit was double yours, but I was also functioning ~ barely, now that I reflect back. All I can tell you is have EVERYTHING on hand before you begin your detox process. You are honestly not going to be able to get out to stores. Can you do a slow taper? Cold turkey is WICKED PAINFUL and completely debilitating. I have no idea how you are going to be able to hide your withdrawal symptoms from your boyfriend unless you avoid him for a couple of weeks ~ I think you’re going to need him or a friend’s help, so have a story ready ~ I’m not advocating lying, but I understand why you might need to. YOU CAN DO THIS, JUST HANG ON TIGHT. I don’t know yet when it gets better, but I’ll be watching for you :-)



655 NorCal Lady { 07.28.11 at 7:12 pm }

Dear NCIP:

Hi there :-) . I hope I feel better tomorrow ~ today was a rough morning/early afternoon, but I finally DID manage a two hour SOLID nap ~ now I feel super nauseas, restless legs, hot/cold/sweaty/clammy again ~ AAARGH. Time to get in for a hot soak ~ never underestimate these!
Oh, I also was able to eat a little more today! Things must be improving, even though I still feel like I’m trapped in my own personal brand of Hell.

Since I napped, I hope I can still get a few more hours in tonight ~ I need a break!



656 Pinkerton { 07.29.11 at 2:38 am }

NCL, I typed a whole post to you yesterday morning and now I realize it didn’t post…. :( I’m glad to hear you are going in a positive direction, starting to eat, nap, etc.. I am still concerned that you may have a secondary issue because detox doesn’t usually last this long and this intense….you are going on two weeks right? I am still suggesting you see a doc, which I never have done until you because you seen so debilitated. Keep fighting, you are doing great!!

Gottadoit, Way to go!! You can do it!! It will suck for about four days and then you should start feeling better. As I said before, after the four days I was tired and didn’t feel great but I was done detoxing and I think that is how most of us went through the process. It was at about two weeks that I really started feeling like myself again. Don’t be worried or scared, it is doable. I had everything done around the house before I started and that was helpful. However, I was actually able to run errands, take the the kids to their activities, etc. through the whole detox and I was taking right around what you were. You won’t feel good, but it’s like the day after the flu, you’re weak and feel yucky but you can still function.

Good luck everyone!

657 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 5:49 am }

hey woman how many days in are you? sorry that i couldn’t remember and i was too lazy to go back and read. lol
Our length of use and our dosage was very very similar. my restless legs continued for about 2 weeks and that was the worst for me ; well and the aches and pains and the not eating and sleeping sucked too. i too am one of those people that just can’t have people in our community knowing about my addiction; like you said anyone can be an addict. i didnt start out thinking this would ever end up like this; but those little bastards grab ahold of you and won’t let ya go. i have spent around 150 grand over the past 5 or 6 years or more and am quite ashamed of some of the stuff i have done. all i can tell you is that for me personally it took me a good 30 days and i was starting slowly to feel back to normal. i abused for so very long that it took longer for me i believe and not to mention the quanity. the whole 30 days were not hell; but i definatly took my share of ibuprofen and alternated it with tylenol. you can take up to 800 mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours. it really really helps with the pain if you can keep it down. thats the same as like 4 advil. i would occasionally alternate it with tylenol. my problem was that anxiety set in. so i told my real doctor and went on prozac. i also used zanax as a crutch only in extreme circumstances cuz they are also addicting. my doc woulnt give em to me; but well this addict had many sources of finding things. also my doc gave me trazadone for sleep. its a sleeping medicine and it WORKS!!! melatonin is also god for sleep; its otc and all natural i believe; but it didn’t do much for me. but its worth a shot if you dont wanna ask your doc for sleep meds. also ; have you though about just going to a doc in the box if it gets really bad; you know an express care; then your real doc wouldn’t have to know. its against hippa laws. i wlll be around all day to check in on you. i hope you are slowling feeling better or quickly; that sounded bad; you know what i meant/ llol// hang in there and pat yourself on the back…. this was the hardes thing i ever ever ever have done!!! and i couldnt have done it without my about friends. so keep up the good work. i have 11 weeks today or maybe 12; crap i am losing count. but you can do it!!! \
good luck girl;

658 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 6:22 am }

gottta doitnow
hows it going? was that your last norco? or did you get more? its ok if you did/ we will support you now matter what!!! there are soo many people here that understand what you are going through!!! keep us posted!!! we will help you through this!! keep busy!!!! it helps and post post post it helps too!!

659 NorCal Lady { 07.29.11 at 6:22 am }

Good Morning Pinkerton!

OMG ~ I went back and read my original post and I made a HUGE error ~ I was only TWO days into cold-turkey NOT six. I don’t remember making that mistake. So today makes day 8. I’m still not feeling well ~ woke up after 3 hours 45 minutes drenched in sweat and headache.

I’m thinking about medical help for hydration, but I don’t know yet. I think I may stick the weekend out and decide Monday. My weight is now down to 88 as of last night. If I go to my hospital, they’re going to throw me into the psych ward diagnosed with anorexia ~ I called the help line and they transferred me to “behavioral sciences” ~ just another name for lock down (had a brother in there years ago)…I’m not going in there. I need to make a plan if this keeps up.

The thing that is nagging in my mind is how heavy my habit was, and that it was Norco, not plain vicodin or vicodin ES. Norco is 10 mg. vicodin/325 acetaminophen. So if I compare it to regular vicodin, it’s equal to 24-30 pills of the vicodin dose…that’s a HUGE habit!

The competing thought in my mind is “call your doctor and get your STUPID ass into a dual-diagnosis rehab”. I’m pretty sure the malnourishment is playing a major role here. I just feel between a rock and a hard place.

Maybe because I’m only going into day 8 and NOT day 13 I can give myself the weekend to make a decision and listen to your opinions. I’m going to up caloric intake a bit more today.

I know advising me to seek medical treatment goes against your normal advice, soo I need to tell you how much I appreciate your concern AND advice. Again, I’m sorry for the mistake I made.


660 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 6:53 am }

i get ya on the norcos’ . yeah i was doing same thing. 15 to 20 of em a day sometimes. the little yellow 10/325s. i promise things will get better; but i am with pink on your whole weight thing. i also lost weight when i detoxed and i am only 115lbs and 5 foot tall; but i dont have the other med issued that you have; idk if you saw my post a few min ago; but what about going to express care or doc in box as i call it. you do have to have something to eat. how bout like a grilled cheese or some chicken noodle soup? something like that or some gatorade ; something that will help get some vitamins in your system and help hydrate yourself too. i promise i promise it gets better. i didnt eat much myself. i should have been super ass skinny but i still could losse a few pounds; i put em right back on as soon as my appetite came back. my appetite took a few weeks. one night my finace cooked me three different meal and i still didnt eat much of anything; i finally settled on the third thing he cooked me which was a grilled chese or cheese toastie as we call it and i only ate one little triangle. i willl be hre on and off all day; so keep on posting girl it really helps and hotttt hott baths help too.

661 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 6:54 am }

go back up and read my post from this a.m. ; it was all to you; don’t know if you missed it or not.

662 NorCal Lady { 07.29.11 at 7:02 am }

Hey Nessip!

Congrats on your sobriety! Stay with it….I remember life being so perfect and I want to get back there again…I made a mistake in my original post about how many days “cold turkey” I was in. I’m going into day 8 today ~ NOT day 13.

Hearing you say it was about a month of physical symptoms gives me hope ~ my habit was so HUGE and for 7 years! Jesus, what was I doing??? I feel crappy, but not like I’m going to die like I did last weekend ~ I’m just worried about this weight loss ~ I’m WAY too small to begin with, so I pray my body rallies soon and synchs up with my mind.

Thank you for answering me ~ Praying today is going to be a little bit better, but it’s so helpful to hear your experience.

I had an Ensure Plus upon awaking and now I’m going to go try and scramble some eggs. I’ll see if I can keep it down.


663 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 7:13 am }

i know it sucks to hear that it took a good 30 days or so before i started to feel … well kinda normal; but i promise it gets better. i was probagly taking them for 6 years or so too ; so i get it completely.
yes try some scrambled eggs. protien ya know. that is one thing i was able to keep down. i remember i had just made em and the neighbor kids came down and their mom and all i wanted to do was eat my damn eggs and try and sleep. i was sooo irritated for them to leave and i was probably at a week and a half or two weeks. i never thought i could do this. but it can be done and life will be sooo much better. no more wondering where in the hell am i gonna get that next vic from ya know. my whole life was consumed with where and when was i gonna get more and counting how many i had and how long was that gonna last me; never long enough so i was constantly on the search for me so that i was never without. i don’t think i went a single day without for many many years. i became so rescourceful. hope your eggs stay down. are you having the poops too? cuz that sucked for me.. sorry to be graphic but my ass was on fire. a & d ointment was the onlything that helped. the diahreah stayed for almost a month with me too. i took anti-diahreah or imodium or whatever would work best; but still had the craps. sorry to be so graphic. i am not very modest. lol :)
talk soon
love neesip

664 NorCal Lady { 07.29.11 at 8:07 am }


LOL ~ no offense taken! FIRE is right.. Wasn’t so bad last night, but I feel my stomach bubbling from the Ensure Plus and the eggs now. Immodium isn’t working for me for some reason ~ or maybe it is? Yesterday I kept what I ate mostly in.

My body is so achy I’m going to try and get comfortable.


665 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 8:43 am }

try the ibuprofen if you can; i swear it helped for me atlesat. hope you can get comfy.
talk soon.
luv neesip

666 Gottadoitnow! { 07.29.11 at 10:27 am }

Day 2! :-(

667 Gottadoitnow! { 07.29.11 at 10:30 am }

This is harder than expected!

668 NorCal Lady { 07.29.11 at 11:06 am }


Stay with it ~ just dig DEEP ~ I am only a few days ahead of you, but on day two (made a mistake on my first post here), I actually felt like I was going to die. I was even hallucinating when I slept! I won’t say it’s a “distant memory”, but it starts to SLOWLY change. I am now officially into day 8 since my last dose, and I can tell you I’m SLOWLY seeing improvement. WE have a long road ahead of us and I’ll support you as much as I can.

Need Some Inspiration Now (Nessip) said in a few posts ago that it took about 30 days for her to feel fairly normal…think about our habit ~ we were YEARS into heavy doses, so a few weeks of BAD, BAD physical withdrawals is a small price to pay to be SOBER.

I know day 2 is horrible and your going to feel worse. Just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know you WILL start to slowly feel like there might be light at the end of this tunnel. I haven’t reached there yet, but I’m much better off than I was 6 days ago at day 2.

The single thing that gave me ANY type of relief, was hot soaks with Epsom Salts. I’ve been able to take those a couple of times a day even during the worst of it.

Keep posting and I’ll be here to give you words of encouragement!



669 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.29.11 at 1:52 pm }

gottado it now

norcal is right; the hottt hott baths with epsom salt helped me tremendously along with ibuprofen for all the aches and pains. i slowly started to notice my ibuprofen does was getting longer inbetween. the first week is gonna be shitty; but you can do this. i abused for years and years and took like 15 – 20 norcos a day; i didnt really taper either so my withdrawls were crappy. i went from 15 to 5 to 3 to 2 to 4 to 1 to none and today is 11 weeks. if i can do this than so can YOU!!! keep posting and ask any questions and we ill answer anything we can and be here for you!!!
love and prayers

670 Pinkerton { 07.30.11 at 2:51 am }

Good Morning!

NorCal Lady, I don’t know what state you are in but in Ohio they can’t admit you to the psych unit unless you are compliant. If you say you have had the flu for a week and haven’t eaten they will treat your physical symptoms first. Then they will address the mental health part of it next if they really feel you have an eating disorder. In Ohio they usually only “pink slip” an adult for psychosis and get them back on their meds. Like I said, I don’t know the laws or protocols in your state. I am just concerned about your nurishment and hydration at this point. You will only start feeling better at this point. One thing I’ve noticed is that the harder the detox the less likely the relapse…anyone else notice that? I had no where near the trouble you are having and I think that is why I relapsed…it wasn’t bad enough for me to be afraid to take another pill. I wish you the best. I’m no expert, just a person who has been down this road and cares about the people on this site. Ultimately, you do what you feel is best for you and your particular situation. Just like when I relapsed. I knew in my heart that I needed to be mentally ready and no one questioned that even though they really wanted me to cross over to the other side of this addiction and be clean and drug free. So however you choose to handle this is up to you … just be safe.

Keep up the good work Gottadoitnow!! It will get easier.

Good to read your posts Neesip! You are very wise.

Love, Pinkerton

671 Pinkerton { 07.30.11 at 2:54 am }

Oh my gosh!! NorCal Lady….DUH! You are in Northern California….I just realized that ….wow, I’m a ding-dong. I said, “I don’t know what state you are in” lol…I guess I should pay more attention to names around here :) Well, I still don’t know the laws on “pink slipping” in California.

672 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 07.30.11 at 4:57 am }

gottado it now? day 3? keep us posted darlin!!!

hows today? day 9 right?

673 NorCal Lady { 07.30.11 at 8:11 am }

Hi Pinkerton & Nessip,

I have had a nightmare of a night ~ Yesterday was relatively “good”; was able to eat 1730 calories AND keep it down. About 9:15 pm the massive sweating started and unbelievable stomach cramps ~ I cried and cried and cried. I finally fell asleep around 5:30 am and woke up at 7:45 ~ I’m so sleep deprived. Now I feel “ok” symptomatically speaking except for slightly sweaty feet ~ eew.

Pinkerton, in California, involuntary psych holds vary by county ~ my county being one of the strictest. Here’s how it would go down: I check myself into an ER saying I’ve had the flu or virus or whatever. They see how grossly under-nourished I am and call for a psych-consult ~ medical professionals can do this if they feel a person can not properly feed or take care of “basic” needs. Now starts the involuntary 72-hour hold. After 72 hours, if the psych people still feel like I can’t take care of myself, they can tack on an additional 14-21 day-involuntary hold. Then the patient has the right to a hearing within 4 days while they hold you. I’d go to a hearing and then who knows? I’m not risking it (yet). I’m going to keep eating and suffer through the stomach cramps because according to “charts”, I’m close to 30 pounds underweight. If this goes on another week, then yes, I will have to go in, consequences be damned.

Nessip, yes, pulling into day 9!

One thing that did scare me is I did a Google search on “Norco Withdrawal Symptoms” and between 3 and 5 links down, there’s an article that says DO NOT go cold turkey from Norco; can result in death! BUT, the very end of the article starts talking about the Waismann Method so I don’t know.

Thank you for your advice, love and prayers. Pinkerton, please also know that your advice/recommendation is NOT falling on deaf ears ~ if I knew I wouldn’t be thrown into this involuntary hold process, I’d have been to the ER days ago.


674 NorCal Lady { 07.30.11 at 8:39 am }

Here’s the passage I was referring to:

“Norco withdrawal like that from any prescription medicine—especially opiate-based drugs— instigates a difficult, painful process. Norco withdrawal—like overdose—can cause circulatory collapse, respiratory failure, and cardiac arrest (affecting the lungs, heart, liver and kidneys).

Consult your physician before you stop, change, combine, increase, or adapt medications. Or, if you are considering detoxification.

Discontinuing Norco after prolonged use causes severe withdrawal symptoms. It should be done gradually and under a physician’s care. Health-compromised patients, from drug dependency, risk an agonizing or sometimes fatal withdrawal if not supervised by experienced medical specialists.”

Here’s the link:

When I just went back to look, it IS Waismann’s site. I didn’t read this on any of the government-sponsored sites, but then again…I don’t know. Crap.


675 NorCal Lady { 07.30.11 at 8:45 am }


When I say according to “charts” about my weight, I’ve NEVER weighed more than 108 pounds in my life. I’m still 12 – 15 pounds under MY normal weight.


676 Metoo { 07.30.11 at 11:50 am }

NorCal Lady, I am and will be praying for you and your success!!!! You keep on eating, and I haven’t read if you are spiritual or not, but ask the angels for help!!! They can’t enter your realm unless you ASK~because they cannot come except from your own free will~so PLEASE, even IF you don’t believe, give the angels a chance to help you….they can do ALL things, change ALL situations!!!!!!!!!! I believe in you, and am here in Michigan praying for YOU!!!!!!! Warm hugs to you, and PLEASE keep posting!!!!!

ANGELS, we NEED you!!!! Please enter NorCal’s heart, body and soul, and give this child of God the help she seeks!! Bring her comfort and peace, QUICKLY, please!!!!

677 NorCal Lady { 07.30.11 at 1:37 pm }

Hi Metoo:

I am a very spiritual person (1st generation Italian-American Catholic) ~ thank you for sending me your Angels ~ they have been surrounding me and lifting me into the light. All night I prayed while I cried and ask God to send me my Angels to lift me into is all-enveloping light for He is the Almighty Healer. My prayer was very similar to yours asking for comfort and peace; but most of all forgiveness for being an addict.

I’ve been praying all day that I feel good tonight. I’m getting great nourishment today, I feel better ~ I was actually able to take a shower and wash/deep condition my hair, instead of just soaking in a hot bath and half-assed washing my hair :-) :-)

I’m not looking forward to tonight, but I’m praying hard and now I know you are too, so maybe I won’t hurt so bad. I’m also praying for “gottadoitnow”; haven’t heard from her today, but I know she’s probably hurting pretty bad today. I hope she has the Strength to get through the detox. I don’t ever want to see another Norco….Pinkerton was right earlier ~ I believe the worse the detox, the better chance of recovery. I have documented every hour of this nightmare so I will NEVER forget how bad it is and when the mental games start, all I have to do is look at my log and say no f’ing way am I going down that road again.

I love Michigan! I have a lot of cyber-friends there ~ I have Yorkshire Terrier dogs and a lot of people in Michigan have beautiful pups!

Thank you for your Angels ~ KEEP ‘EM COMING!


678 NorCal Lady { 07.30.11 at 7:51 pm }

Was checking in for “gottadoit”…if you’re out there and only able to read posts, I GET IT. Please know that I’m thinking of you and sending positive, healing thoughts your way. I’m officially 10 days clean and I’m here to tell you IT DOES GET BETTER ~ for me, I think it’s been slower than most. Today was a GOOD day, considering…I felt better, I was able to get up and around the house a bit and I took a SOLID 3 hour nap!

Not sure how tonight is going to pan out, but I’m praying I do better ~ I woke up from my nap with some mild stomach cramping, but not NEARLY as severe as it’s been (at least so far). I’m also fearing the “clammy sweats”, but getting ahead of myself.

I’m out here thinking of you ~ and the rest of the Angels on this Forum.

Love and healing thoughts,

679 Kitty Mom { 07.31.11 at 4:00 am }

You are at day ten and sounds like you are doing a little better and I am so very pleased to hear that. Thanks for the link about norco addiction. That is what I was taking and even though I am almost 11 months clean, I am going to go back and read abotu some of the stuff you posted. That article sounds like it would scare even the most dedicated person out of starting detox. I was taking between 12 and 15 norcos per day and at the point of no return. I had to get up in the middle of the night to take pills just so my body would not go into withdrawals. It was a vicious cycle and hearing your struggles although it breaks my heart, makes me realize that I never want to go back there ever again. Hang in there, little one, it will get better, Sounds like yu are getting a little bit of sleep and that you are able to keep the food down now so you are probably getting over the worst and it can only get better. The most wonderful part about your story is that you are already worrying about and helping others by being here. That is the inspiring thing about this site….suffer…be helped by others….and then start helping and inspiring the newly recovering addicts. Thanks for being here and thanks for inspiring me to not slip backwards toward that life left behind.
And, one more thing, don’t feel guilty about being addicted. It is the nature of the norco beast. They are highly addictive and they loose their power and we keep needing more and more and more to feel the same – vicious cycle my friend.
To all just starting detox
To all those recovering
Love and prayers

680 Metoo { 07.31.11 at 5:28 am }

I went to the local healthy food store yesterday and got some appetite stimulants and protein powders and protein bars. The stimulant is called, “Digest” by Enzymedica. Taken a half hour before meals. The protein powder is from Lifetime, and it’s called, “Life’s Basics” Plant Protein. The more protein we can get the better. Also, NorCal, find some high protein bars. I got some with 22gr protein per bar, and it’s a meal replacement. I am sure hoping these items help me also, but it gives me something to put my faith into.
Still praying for you, still sending you angels!!! Please try to eat a lot today~your tomorrow will thank you! Sending hugs and caring thoughts your way!!

681 NorCal Lady { 08.01.11 at 3:34 am }

Hi Everyone:

KittyMom: CONGRATULATIONS on your sobriety! I can’t wait until I can say I’m one month away from a full year :-) As perverse as this sounds, I am VERY pleased that my popping up here asking for help while crying out in agony, is a FIRM reminder that you don’t want to be back here. If you EVER feel the urge, I’m happy you have good friends here to support you ~ I’m not sure of any outside support, but they are definitely here and I will be too. You all have been my Angels and Saving Grace this past week.

I, too, was at 12-15 pills per day for 7+ years. How much life I missed, and I’m so thankful that I think I’ve been given another chance. I’m feeling a bit better each day, but it’s SLOW going ~ the sleep deprivation and hot/cold/sweats are “kicking me arse”…I also started my “lady monthlies” today, so I’m getting a double dose of misery…the ONLY good thing about it is I know my weight is still in fighting range, otherwise it wouldn’t have come. I’m a “glass half-full” kinda gal ~ LOL.

I AM truly concerned about “gottadoit”; I know so vividly exactly where she is in detox right now and I’m hoping she’s as well as can be expected. I really thought she might just check in with even a one liner. All I can do is pray she was ready and she’s safe.

I didn’t take any of the supplements that The Thomas Recipe calls for today, and I didn’t have the severe stomach pain I’ve been having. I’m going to take them tomorrow and see if the stomach pains come back. This way I’ll know if they might be causing me a problem. They’re all gluten-free, so I know it’s not a Celiac thing.

Metoo: Sounds wonderful ~ all our bodies need is proper nourishment and we flourish. I know this because I was born with Celiac Disease (called Sprue back in the day) and I’ve battled with it my ENTIRE life. Gives me really limited options on what I can eat.

Thank you both for your prayers, thoughts, healing vibes and angels ~ I can feel them. I’m going into Day 11 and hoping to be able to get up and around more. I’m just trying to conserve energy and heal.


682 NorCal Lady { 08.01.11 at 3:36 am }

PS ~ I haven’t slept in 21 hours…I hate this

683 2tryis2succeed { 08.01.11 at 6:52 am }

Day 5. Not doing well

684 2tryis2succeed { 08.01.11 at 7:01 am }

I can’t do this……..

685 scaredtoquit { 08.01.11 at 7:09 am }

Wow Metoo Im from Michigan also. I live in the southwestern part. I always wondered where everyone on here was from. Tonight at midnight I will be at two weeks exactly, I cant believe it. I havent had too much of a hard time and I read what pPink said about relapsing if its not bad wd’s. That scares me because I think you may be right, I keep thinking why would one or two hurt. I havent done it and Im determined not to. If I was anyone else but me I think I would. Im a stubborn person and refuse to do anything I dont want to do. I do think detox was way too easy on me. I know it sounds kinda mean but I think its a good thing to be a hard process. Im still fighting and will continue!!!

NorCal Lady it seems Im only three days ahead of you in my detox. Im sorry it has been so rough for you. I knda wish it was alittle harder for me then its been. I have been thinking just one or two but luckily for me I have my mind made up that I will not go back. Besides I really cant my husband knows now which also was a good move on my part. I told him how I was stealing money to buy pills. Now if I ask for something he want to see receipts and everything so Im glad I did that. No going back now no matter what. I hope your able to get some sleep, have you tried tylenol pm or advil pm. The advil seems to help me sleep about an hour longer then the tylenol but Im able to sleep at least 3 to 4 hours with them.

Well Im gonna go have to take my daughter to her dr appt. We get to find out what she is having on the 9th. She will be having a 3D ultrasound that day, cant wait!!!! Im so excited!!!! Lots of prayers and well wishes to all you wonderful people on here!!!

686 NorCal Lady { 08.01.11 at 12:12 pm }

Dear Scaredtoquit:

Congratulations on your two weeks!! You’ve made up your mind to stay clean and I’m proud of you! DON’T GO BACK ~ it sounds like you have so much to look forward to: a husband who loves you and is holding you accountable (that’s a GOOD thing) and a new grand~baby! Stay clean for him or her ~ you wouldn’t want this baby to become an addict as an adult, right?? Find something or someone to help you fight the urge in your mind. And keep being honest…I’ll cheer you on!!

My withdrawal process has been a nightmare; I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I actually slept 6 hours last night, but still have the extreme sweating in my feet and hands at night…YUCK. It doesn’t “smell”, I’m just soaked. I guess it’s the toxins leaving? I don’t know, but I hate it.

Well, good luck with your daughter and stay away from those pills! ;-)


687 scaredtoquit { 08.01.11 at 5:44 pm }

Yes I will stay away from them. My new grandbaby was alot of the reson for doing this not only that but Im tired of feeling down all the time. At first the pills made me happy and full of energy but then I just was so exhusted trying to figure out how I would get more. Also wasnt happy anymore because I knew I was the reason our bills were getting behind. Im happy now and so thankful I found this site 2 weeks ago. I hope you only start feeling better and better from here on out NorCal. I have been posting on the about page but seen you havent been able to get over there and I just wanted you to know Im here praying for you too.

688 NorCal Lady { 08.02.11 at 6:37 am }

Thank you for your prayers, scaredtoquit. I’m just wondering when I’m going to be functional again? I’m feeling a little better each day, but am SO incredibly tired…I’m heading into Day 12 and still don’t feel well enough to do even the lightest exercise :-( to start rebuilding muscle. I can feel my body atrophying. I guess Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I’m so thankful to all of you for prayers and Angels. Keep them coming; I need all the positive energy I can get.


689 Kitty Mom { 08.03.11 at 7:36 pm }

Give it a few more days. You should start feeling better soon – and try to push yourself to the limit with getting out and doing things. The more you do the more you will feel like doing. The first couple of projects I started took forever and the energy level was very low but the more I did the more I wanted to do….and the momentum improved. Then, if you do not start feeling better in about three weeks, I would go to the doctor and make sure there is nothing else going on with you.
Scared….you sound like you are beating this thing so don’t turn to the thoughts of one or two pills might not hurt. Addicts that we are, we cannot take just one pill – and the nature of the beast itself sticks like glue to those opiate receptors and our bodies and minds scream out for more more more!!! lol!
You sound strong and determined and I know you will make it to one month – two – and more. God bless us fighters that are making it against our addictions.
Love to both of you

690 Kevin D. { 08.04.11 at 8:09 am }

Hello, I Have been using for 1.5 years and am on my second attempt to quit, I went 15 days clean about 3 months ago,but ended up back on them, my drug of choice is opana at about 20mg a day. I have been whining myself down over the last month like so, 1st week – day 1-3 20 mg opana, days 4-7 15 mg opana, days 8-13 10mg opana, days 9-15 5mg opana, days 15 – 25 I tried to skip a day using about 2/16ths of a soboxin pill, days 26-30 completely clean, day 1 of aug. I couldn’t take anymore and got 2 30mg roxicodone , I was able to take them 12 hours apart, Today is aug. 4th and I have been clean for two days, I am serious about getting rid of this self inflicted crippling but I have always been my own worst enemy. I am using xanax, and all the vits. mentioned except the L- trysolene(couldn’t find it locally) I am mostly dealing with the soreness and sleep issues. Thank you all for all your post, When I’m feeling really down I jump on here and read post forums and it helps me alot, I see people with stories of much heavier use than myself and they did it and I think maybe just maybe I can to. God bless you all and please wish me luck, I feel like this is my last chance to get rid of this hell, this self inflected HELL.

691 SacTown Popper { 08.04.11 at 12:06 pm }

Hello Everyone,
I have been on pain pills (Norco) for about 6 years. I hate them; I have extreme pain in my back. I have been told about 1/2 of all my vertebra is damaged one way or another. Spending any length of time in the Infantry will have that effect on a person’s spine. LOL, but really it hurts. When I am off the Norco’s, I can walk, but, I walk like I should have a walker in front of me at all time. I have decided to stop taking these gosh darn pills. I am in my 3rd day of w/d’s (I have gone through this tens of times) and again, I hate life. I am looking forward to trying the Kortans. I have been off the pills before, but my back keeps me from living a life, period.

I know for me the time living with w/d’s only lasts about 5-7 days, max. With very little symptoms after that. But the RLS is the absolute worst for me. I can’t stand my legs (No Pun intended), always wanting to move, almost as if they have a mind of their own, driving me crazy. Can anyone please help me with any idea or NATURAL remedies?

692 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.04.11 at 12:25 pm }

hang in there. sorry i have been mia for a few days; but sounds like you are hangin strong. i was taking just as many as you were for about that amount of time if i remember correctly. you can hang in there. it gets better. i really didnt feel normal for over 4 weeks or so. but i was on them at such a high dosage for sooo many years i figure thatw why it took me longer. sooo proud of you. hang in three!!!

693 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.06.11 at 8:25 am }

kevin d and sac town popper

sorry we missed your posts. sometimes they get lost out there. most of us are on the “about” page if you can find your way over there. theres much support there. how are you doing? how are you feeling?
sactown- i am sorry to say that i have not heard any remedies for the RLS. hot hot hot baths seemed to help me a bit and a zanax so i could sleep. the legs get better. they were really bad for me too. it was like i was running in my bed even though i was lying down. it sucked ; but it does get better. i have 12 weeks and 1 day today in an hour. sooo silly i am counting like that ; but its a big deal!! its a hard thing to kick; but you can do it!! you will be sooo much happier and will be surprised at how little pain you may have after you are off of them. good luck and kep in touch. we will be rooting for you!!
kevin d . i don’t know what drug that is ; but i am sure its just as hard as getting off the vics. you should go back and read all of our stories. these people inspired me and i was using for 6 or 7 years and here i am clean and more motivated about life than i have been in a very very long time. i was sooo scared of the detox; but i did it and so can you!! keep yourself busy. anything to keep your mind off of it. post post post and we will be here for you!!
hang in therer you two and sorry again we missed your post!!
love and prayers NEESIP

694 Derek { 08.08.11 at 11:22 pm }

I am addicted to hydro’s like most here or most here were at one time. I’m looking to get clean and wanted to know where to start? From reading some of the previous posts, it sounds like I should taper some before going C/T and possibly try the Thomas Rec. too. Got addicted years ago after multiple surgeries on my ankle and I’m up to about 15 pills a day now of all different strengths of Hydro’s. 5′s, 7.5′s and 10′s etc. I do have enough on hand to do a long term taper or whatever has worked for others here. In the past when I’ve stopped (or ran out of pills) the worst parts of the W/D’s I’ experienced were the restless and painful legs, lack of sleep & energy and the stomach issues. Should I start a light excercise program while I’m tapering to get stronger before C/T Day? I’m actually already doing light excercising but not nearly enough. It would seem to me to get as healthy as possible and stronger thru exercising before going C/T. Anyone have any thoughts on that? Any information would be appreciated or if you need any other info from me let me know by replying here. Thank you in advance. First time posting anywhere about this.

695 Bre { 08.10.11 at 3:16 am }

I’m on day 4. Cannot sleep!!! I’m going nuts! My kegs are killing me, and I may get 2 hours of sleep a night. I tried staying up all day yesterday to see if that would help, nothing. I have to insurance, but I wish I could get clonidine or nuerontin. What the hell do I do?!

696 Bre { 08.10.11 at 3:17 am }

My *legs. Stupid iPhone.

697 Derek { 08.10.11 at 9:55 pm }


698 Kitty Mom { 08.11.11 at 3:10 am }

Hi Derek,
Your posts just showed up so sorry for the delay in posting back. I can only speak for myself about the tapering. As long as I had pills, I was unable to taper. If there were pills in the house, well, I gobbled them up. I was taking about the same as you – maybe a little less. Tapering for me is like draging out the agony. I was having withdrawals as it is – between doses – and unless I kept taking – I was sick. Cold turkey worked for me and the worst of the physical symptoms subsided within less than a week. The sleeping and restless legs took a bit longer and was the most discouraging. But, guess what, it goes away and the rest of your life is right around the corner and the freedom of pills is much worth the withdrawal pain. It takes folks like you though to keep me in straights so that I never forget where I have been. Thanks for being here.
As far as the excercise goes, I was able to walk around my neighborhood on the third day. I wish I would have done more light excercise because I think it would have helped. I think the more you push yourself, the better off you are and sweating more of the toxic waste from our bodies does not hurt either.
So, long story short, I wish you all the best and hope that you hang around here for a while.
Oh, and the Thomas Recipe rocks too – I tool a liquid multi mineral and vitamins. Potasium helps the rls and hot baths and showers helped the body aches.
Once again, welcome and good luck

699 Pinkerton { 08.11.11 at 3:26 am }

Welcome Derek!

I am not an expert but I have been through several detoxes and have been posting on this site for a long time and read about others’ detoxes so I’ll give you my opinion based on that.

I think that getting as healthy as you can will help in any circumstances in life and this is no exception. However, I would have to say that detox is much like the flu in that you can exercise, have a great diet, and be “healthy” but when your body is trying to rid itself of a virus, bacteria, or toxins (like Hydros)…you will be sick regardless. The best thing to do to avoid a terrible detox is to slowly taper down if you can. I can’t because if they are available, I will eat them. Plan your detox. Get all your work, obligations, household chores, etc. caught up so that you can have at least 4 days to do whatever you feel like doing. Get your favorite drinks and food supplies ready. Buy potassium and other vitamens. The potassium will help with the RLS. Most importantly you have to have a determined mindset…you can’t be wishy washy. Then you just stop taking them. The first day won’t be too bad but day 2 – 4 will suck. But if you hang in there you should start feeling better by day 5. Everyone is different. Some have quit C/T at the amount you are now or even higher and they were sick for a few days and then bounced right back and others were on a smaller dose and quit C/T and had a really hard time. Alot of it is in your head and the sooner you get busy doing something the better however, if you don’t feel like it, don’t. I think that hot baths help with the chills and aches along with alternating tylenol and advil. Drink lots of fluids. If you have anything to help you sleep (ie. valium), take it only the first few days and then promise yourself that you will stop after day 4 or 5. Also, get rid of any left over pills…some folks feel better by keeping a few around but it didn’t work so well for me. I kept some back and after detox I ended up giving in and relapsed and believe that I wouldn’t have if they were so easy to get to.

Keep posting and try to find your way over to the “about” page. Look on the right side of the home page and usually someone will have posted from the about page.

Good Luck!

700 Pinkerton { 08.11.11 at 3:30 am }

Good morning Kitty!
Looks like we were posting at the same time :)

How’s your husband and how are you??

701 Derek { 08.12.11 at 1:38 am }

Thanks to both of you, Pinkerton & Kitty Mom, for your replies. I actually had no idea if my posts made it up to the site or not due to zero responses the first couple of days. I saw it there but something was not looking right so I was not sure if anyone saw them. Regardless I appreciate the replies with your insight and support. I plan on sitting down this weekend and getting everything I need and my ducks in a row to do this. I’ve already lined someone up to hold my meds while I first try and taper down to a lower qty a day. We will see how that goes. Then I actually have vacation days coming up from work in the next 21 days that I plan to use to quit completely. I can also push the vacation back if the tapering plan is working.

One question I have at this time is do I start taking the multi-vitamins, the potassium etc when I start tapering or wait until I’m finally doing the C/T thing? Or do I only take them when the W/D symptoms rear their ugly head?

Again, thanks for your replies, I’m actually getting excited to start this. Hopefully my post comes up quicker this time, I’ve been reading this message board for weeks and finally got the courage to post something about myself and then I played the waiting game for a few days. I am not putting fault on anyone for not replying, I was just happy I finally got the courage to post and wanted to hear back right away. I’m pretty sure the website didn’t post them or had an issue cause I went to another computer and didn’t see my post there. Anyway, I will check in at some point this weekend to hopefully read the answer to my one question above.

Thank you.

702 Pinkerton { 08.12.11 at 3:46 am }

Good Morning Derek!
I think you should try to get over to the “about” page because that is where most of us hang out. It’s either at the top left under pages or top right under recent posts. If you start posting there you will get much quicker responses :)

Sounds like you have the right attitude and getting organized and approaching this with excitement is a great way to do it! I am not a clinician but I would take the vitamens now. One of the girls who recently detoxed said she started taking them ahead of time and she felt it really helped. The potassium you might want to check on with a pharmasist because I don’t know if it will hurt you or not (to take for a long period of time)…I don’t think it will hurt you but I don’t know. Giving your supply to someone else may make your tapering successful because if you don’t have them handy, you may not over-endulge. Keep in mind, you are going to feel w/d from tapering so don’t be suprised if you have some sleepless nights and some rls…I know I did. I started having w/d when I just simply continued to take the some amount because my body wanted more.

You can do this, just hang in there and focus on your future and where you want to be in a year or two years.


703 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.12.11 at 3:53 am }

welcome darlin!!! you have found a place that will really get you through this BS. My first post was the same way. it kept saying it wasw in moderation for like 2 days and ali wanted was to be able to talk to someone … ahhhh it was frustrating; your posts should show up as normal now. (i hope). everything kitty and pink have told you has been great advice. they know their stuff and i owe my life to both of them. they are wonderful caring peopel who have been down the same path of hell as all of us have. i too was taking all diff degrees of vics. 5, 7.5; 10, etc.. and i was up to about 20 a day on a good day. it had gotten out of control and my thoughts were consumed every hour of everyday about when and where i was gonna get my next V and did i have enough money to make it to next pay day to get more or would i run out and if i run out omg i would have panickd. i never ran out. i was very resourse ful. as far as tapering. everyone is different and diff thngs work for diff peopel. most people couldnt have one in the house or they would take em. i too was that way at one point in time. i will just give you my short version. i started on like a monday i had taken 20 norcos and found this site. i read and read and cried and cried and thought well if all these people can do it so can i. So on tuesday i made it through work with only like one or two and only took 3 when i get home so 5 first day. (big diff from 20 a day). day two i made it all day at work and took 2 only at night on wed. thursday i took a half at work and 3 when i got home and friday ; well friday is my anniversary. i took on e 750 and today is 12 or 13 weeks. for me. i took the entire week off of work the next week with the “flu” is what they thought. anxiety kicked in for me and i went on prosac to help. i also had some xanax to help me with sleep ; but only AS NEEDED cuz they are addicting too. hot hot hot baths helped with the aches and i ate lots of ibuprofen alternated or with tylenol. you can take up to 800mg ib every 4-6 hrs and yoou can take tylenol in combo with it and that helped with the pain soooo much. i too followed the thomas recipe to a t pretty much for the first couple weeks. i don’t think potassium helped me; but many people here say it did them. like i said everyone is different. my abuse was alsoo very extensive and very heavey for many years so maybe thats why mine was sooo bad and longer. but i did it and soo can you. i personlly still have some vics sitting in a drawer. don’t want em and won’t take em. actually got in them the other day and gave my stepmonster one for a tooth ache. for some reason they were a security blanket to me. i had like 40 or more 750s left and when i hit 30 days or more i then decided to sell the majority of them but still have a couple.. probably not the smartedst thing in the world ; but for me it was a mind thing. just knowing they were there kept my anxiety down. it was more about the anxiety for me then wanting a pill. i too think working out helped me once i was able to. helped with the aches and like kitty says gets those toxins out of ya. it cant hurt that is for sure!!
you should try to find you way o the “about” page becaue there are many amazing people there for support!! sounds like you are on the right track. you won’t believe this now; but i have more energy now than i did before. the vics used to give me energy but in the end all the did was make me a lazy ass; it all gets sooo much better and you get back to having a … LIFE.
good luck and keep posting!!

704 scared { 08.13.11 at 10:53 am }

i am so scared. i feel like i am about to cut ties with my best friend. i have 2 kids and feel i cannot function without my pills. i am in chronic pain but opiates are also my drug of choice. i have a script to vicodin but have spent around 7 grand in the last 6 months on excess. i am out of control and feel like i am going to die. i tried to kill myself in my early 20s and do not have the healthiest liver. i have told my secret to my best friend and asked for help. i cannot tell anyone else so i asked her to take my pills and help me taper off. she is a true friend and will be there for me as much as she can but at the end of the day, only i can kick this. i am scared and depressed and afraid of relapse because of my true chronic pain. i feel very alone and dont want my children to suffer because i have a drug problem. my worst side effect when i try to detox is not the sickness but the irritability and the fear i will take it out on my kids. i dont believe in god and i dont have a good support system other than my best friend. i want to enjoy life without the aid of opiates and i definitely dont want to die.

705 Pinkerton { 08.14.11 at 5:35 am }

Good Morning Derek!
How are you doing? Just thought I’d let you know that I’m praying for you and hope that you are not having too tough a time in tapering. It is so worth it, believe me! There are alot of reasons but one that has really felt great to me is the fact that I’m no longer consumed with counting the pills to make sure I have enough, worrying about my source drying up, etc. I feel free from those chains. I feel like I’m thinking again and in the present. I still feel a little depressed but I realized that I was before I ever took a pill and I think it is important that everyone know that whatever emotional issues you had before the pills will be there after the pills.

I hope you are well. Please post and let us know.

706 astringent { 08.16.11 at 7:30 pm }

Hi, I’m on Day 6 norco CT and feel like I’ve been thrown against a brick wall. Have used the Thomas recipe. Days 3 &4 were worse with vomiting etc but yesterday wasn’t so bad other than tiredness and anxiety, what happened??? Took 25g to 80g hydrocodone daily for a year and a half by prescription for migraines and fibro. Stopped last week because the psychological symptoms were too much for me. Am wondering if it’s worth taking 5g to slow this agony – found half a tab in a purse. technically the hydrocodone is out of my system now, so would the cycle of wd’s start again from such a low dose?

707 Derek { 08.16.11 at 10:53 pm }

Sorry about my absence the past few days and I appreciate you thinking of me. I actually went out of town on short notice and got back late last night. While I have had some success tapering off (only past 2 days) I noticed I don’t have a gameplan there and I really never kept an exact daily count. I think I was taking more like 20 a day and not the 15 I originally posted. Regardless while I have taken less starting yesterday and today, is there a # less than the 20 I should be aiming for in the first week? Is there some kind of formula I should be following? I know I’m taking less the past few days because I have those feelings we all know too well. Actually the worst thing is lack of energy at this point. I assume when I get down more I will be feeling all the rest of the fun stuff that comes along with beating this addiction. Anyway, any help on a tapering method is appreciated and also I plan on moving over to the About Section to post even though I am comfortable here for the time being.

Again, thanks again for posting to see how I am doing. As I said, I am just beginning this tapering, so now I hope to be here more and more. I’m going to need it.

You are a good person Pinkerton, I can tell by reading your comments on this site you care a lot for people you don’t even know. Thank you.

708 Pinkerton { 08.17.11 at 3:08 am }

Thank You Derek,

I didn’t taper so I’m not a good one to ask. I have no control and tapering felt too much like a prolonged detox so I went C/T. However, if you can cut back a little every week or every few days, I think that is the best way to do it. It’s just very hard because when I was ready, I was ready! So if I would have tapered down the right way, it would have allowed too much time for me to change my mind. All I know for sure is that any little bit you can taper the better so just do your best. If you can taper to 10 per day for a week then 7, then 5, then 3, then 0, you will have an easier time during detox but will also be experiencing detox symtoms during your tapering. Good luck with whatever route you choose.


709 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.17.11 at 2:59 pm }

i was taking about 20 of the yellow norco 10s a day and had been for a long long time. i mean years. as far as tapering i can only give you my own story. i found this site and thought what the hell if they can do it so can i. it was a Monday and i had already taken like 15. tues i think i took like 5. then wed i took 2, then thurs back up to 3 and friday was my last one. that was almost 14 weeks ago. so did i taper? i don’ t really call that tapering. atleast not from the amount that you and i were both taking; but did i survive? well here i am. i would imagine my w/d symptoms would have been less if i had truly tapered in a different manner. like 10 a day for a week, then 5 a day for a week. something like that. BUT like pink said. i don’t think i could have done that. i would have just ended up taking more and more like i always did. i think its something you just have to make your mind up and JUST DO IT!! once i realizeed i could make it through the day with only 5 then i set a goal even lower. i KNEW i didn’t NEED those 20 and so on and so on. You have to do whats right for you though. I personally still have a few. something about having NONE at all sent me into a panic. i havent touched them; but not everyone can do that. likke i said … do whats best for you. hot hott baths helped me and ibuprofen alternated with tylenol. sleep and eat ; well it just took time for it to come back. idk if theres anything to help with the eating (maybe pot) but don’t wanna trade one for the other. i used xanax for sleep but only AS NEEDED!!! you really should hop over to the about page!! therer are lots of people who can help and really do care!!!
keep in touch!


710 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.18.11 at 5:24 pm }

are you still out there? i hope so. if you are i am sorry i missed your post; sometimes they take a bit to go through the first time.
i feel ya on the money situation; i think i spent 150 grand over period of 6 yrs or so. if you are looking for a support system; well you found one!! we will help you through this and a good friend around is also nice. if you can find your way to the “about” page your posts probably won’t get lost in the mix there. YOU CAN do this and YOU CAN function. i get it; i had to take a couple tens just to shower, shit , shave, etc. you get the idea. many of us have been right where you are. i could never have done it without my neww friendds on “about” page here. i sound like a broken record but its the truth and you too can do it. YOU CAN live withouth those damn pills. please post so we know you are still out there. maybe we can help you through this!!!

711 Kitty Mom { 08.19.11 at 12:41 am }

Good morning fellow sojourners. I hope everyone is as good as can be expected this morning.
Derek, if you are around, please let us know how you are doing. It is 4:25 in Florida and I could not sleep so here I am on the computer.
Scared, I just now noticed your post and apologize for not responding sooner. Some times the posts are in limbo for a while when you first get on here. I hope you are returning and checking us out here. I absolutely know where your are coming from in your desperation. I was in your exact same position as many of us were. New people coming on here are us addicts reality check. You inspire me by letting me know where I have been and hopefully I can help you realize that there is hope in your desperation and that you can quit the pill addiction cycle that you are currently in. Withdrawals suck, but I am living proof that you get over them. I took a week off from work feigning the flu. I lived in the hot shower and took mineral and vitamins, ate bananas, fessed up to my sister and my mother (not my daughter) and began the healing process that saved my life. To this day, I use the mantra of – just for today, I will not take a pill. When and if you start your detox, time will stand still. Bite off time in the smallest of increments. Do not thing any further than skipping a dose – then another – then another – then another until an hour becomes a day and a day becomes four. In a weeks time you will be through the worst physical symptoms. The sleep will take a bit longer, but it does return. I started my journey on the 8th of September, 2010 – almost a year. I am so very grateful to be alive today and still think of what could have been since I was doing all the worst kind of things to acquire pills.
Even though you say you do not believe in God, I will be praying for you. If you need personal assistance, you can email be at kittymom001@gmail.com. All I can do is listen and give advice from my own experience….not judgement from any of us on this site.
You are not unique in your addiction
These pills have had a hold on the best of us
But you can overcome
you can heal
Love and best wishes

712 Pinkerton { 08.19.11 at 3:58 am }

Good Morning!

@ Scared, I missed your post also :( I read Neesip’s post asking where you were and went back and sure enough you had posted and I missed it. I know it doesn’t seem possible, but you will have a different mind set once you get past the w/d and have a week clean under your belt. I am a single mother of two young boys and I don’t have any kind of relationship with my biological mom and siblings and my dad has passed away. I have friends and that is about it. So I know the feeling of being alone, in fact recently I have felt very sad and very alone in this world and cried all day Sunday….BUT it passes because I can sort things out in my mind better than when I was on the pills. I have sharper reasoning skills and can problem solve much, much better.

When I’m feeling irritable I tell myself, no matter how much you want to yell at the boys…DON’T! Sometimes it works and sometimes I still yell after awhile but at least we are aware that we are capable of having a short fuse. If you are irritable, then you are irritable. In the long run it will be better for them to have you irritable for a few weeks then to have a mother addicted to pills. Kids are resilient they won’t remember a few bad weeks. Get yourself ready, center yourself, prepare, and take the leap. The Thomas Recipe helps.

Please keep posting because it will help and you are not alone, you have a whole group of great people who have been in your shoes who are here to help pull you through this.


PS. Where the heck are you Derek?

713 Steven { 08.21.11 at 1:36 pm }

I wish I knew about this a few weeks ago, before my mother started her withdrawal. I am glad I found this website even though it may be to late to help.

714 Bruce { 08.22.11 at 4:45 pm }

I have been doing 5-10 Norcos a day for the last 3 years. I have quit a few times in the past, but for some reason went back on the bastards!
My doctor has always been cooperative in prescribing them to me for my arthritis, but I have come to realization they are going to kill me if I keep it up. In two days I will start detox using the Thomas Receipe. My wife is onboard with it, so I have support.
Got some Ativan and Xanax to help me sleep and have taken 2 days off work.
In my past experiences with WD, the first 2 days are hell and then it gradually gets better. I feel pretty much normal after one full week of detox. Hopefully this recipe will speed up the process.
I am prepared to be out of commision for 4 days and don’t ever want to go through this again. It’s just too hard and once you have accomplished it. All it takes is one little yellow pill to get you back on it again and then you have to go through the same process all over again.
Not worth it in my book!
I WILL get through this. I realize it WILL be hard, but I have to do it for myself and my family.
I have two grandkids that I want to stick around for on the face of this earth as long as I can.
Because of my addiction, I have not exercised in 3 years. I used to run marathons! I am looking forward to being able to get out there and sweat again.
I will post my experience here as I go.
You will hear a success story from me.

715 Derek { 08.22.11 at 10:11 pm }

I am sorry I have not checked in. I am doing ok. Well actually I felt miserable all weekend because I cut my intake significantly starting Friday night to Monday morning. I did nothing but sleep this past weekend. I should have made it to this website but it seemed everytime I got upright I wanted to get get back down ASAP. Today was the first time I hadn’t taken a pill(s) before getting to my office in a long time. Although I don’t want to tell a lie, I ended up taking more today (Monday) than I did on Saturday & Sunday but it still wasn’t nearly the amount I had been taking to get thru the work day the previous few years. While I know I took a small step back today in the MilliGram department from Sat & Sun’s intake, I felt really good about the fact I didn’t take anything before getting to the office for once. I do still need to do better and I know that. I’m supposed to be taking vacation time soon but I have not worked it out when it is happening. My brother who know’s of my problem and is going to help me when I finally stop is out of town until next week so that’s why my vaction time is in flux. I am a single guy that lives alone so I’d really like to have him in town when I finally make the jump from tapering to zero just in case I need something. The rest of my family does live close in case I do need them but I’d rather not involve them unless needed. I would not be afraid to tell them everything if I feel I need them.

I will check back in soon and I appreciate everything. Thank you.


716 Bruce { 08.23.11 at 2:22 pm }

Took 4 Norcos today plus a bunch of Potassium and B6. I have 2 left for tomorrow which I will take first thing in the morning, so by tomorrow afternoon I will hit WD.
I ordered some Kratom, Kanna, and L-Tyrosine to help with the malaise.
I have already started pumping my system full of Potassium and plan on taking one of the herbs above tomorrow afternoon to keep me going the rest of the day because I have to work.
Tomorrow night I will take either Ativan or Xanax to knock me out.
I’m sure when I wake up Thursday morning (day after tomorrow) I will be in full blown WD. I will then take Immodium and some herbs to get me going.
I know what to expect. You feel like you are going to crawl out of your own skin. A minute seems like an hour. You can’t concentrate on anything. You experience moments of hot and cold. Your nose runs and all your senses are heightened. The smell of coffee almost makes me puke and I can taste everything so much better. My appetite is none. Don’t feel like eating anything.
I plan on spending quite a bit of time in the bathtub.
I am kind of glad I know what to expect. It’s not an easy ride, that’s for sure! This is the last time I want to do it.
Derek! I am right there with ya bud! If I can do it, you can too!
I have been addicted to many things, but this one takes the cake as far as trying to kick it. I know it aint easy, but I got myself in to it, I can get myself out.
The only way to quit for me is cold turkey. No weaning. If I have them around, I will eat them. Time to not let a little yellow pill control me. I am much more powerful than that little thing.
Derek! I am pulling for you too! Let’s conquer this thing together! What do ya say?

717 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.23.11 at 2:54 pm }

welcome darlin. sounds like you have a good plan of action and one tht will work. i hope that this is it for you and i think you and derek working together is a great idea. if you can find your way to the about page there are many of us threr for support!!!
also sounds like you have a plan of action too. i get the whole making it to work without one bit. i remember i made it to work and through lunch to the afternoon before i broke down one day; but i was still proud even though the day before i made it till i got home; it was a sure hell lot better than the ten i wouold have normally already taken right?? keep up the positive attitiude . you CAN do this!!!

718 Derek { 08.24.11 at 1:31 am }

Bruce, thanks for the encouragement. After reading your post I felt like putting on some running shoes and taking a few spins around the block. Man you come with some great energy and it is very positive to read. Keep it up. I was a little deeper than you were with probably 20-25 a day for probably 4 years. I chose to do ween myself off to a reasonble level first just to see if it will make going C/T a little more tolerable. Assuming everything goes as planned I will be going C/T late next week. Out of curiousity, where did you pick up the L-Tyrosine? I went to a few stores / pharmacies today looking for it and I couldn’t find it. If you ordered it from the internet somewhere and don’t mind posting the link I would appreciate it very much. I’m not sure what the other herbs were, Kratom & Kanna? Is that another pick me up herb for energy? I do have everything else for the Thomas Recipe raring to go so I’m good with everything else.

The goal I have for now is to get between 8-10 for 3-4 days straight. After that point, I’m not sure what I will do from there whether it be C/T or keep weening myself off them. I’m going to have to rely on how I feel getting down to 8-10 a day.


719 Bruce { 08.24.11 at 9:55 am }

Hey Derek! I just did a search on L-Tyrosine and picked the first one that came up. Yeah…these are all pick me up herbs. You might want some while you are weening yourself off because you will experience WD eventho you are taking 5 or 10 a day. You are going to feel WD no matter what you do. That’s why I decided to just go Cold Turkey.
I just took my last dose about 2 hours ago and expect to start feeling lithargic by tonight. This is gonna be hell. Can’t sugar coat it.
Tomorrow, I will hear the little voices telling me….go ahead and just get your script filled! I have to stay strong and ignore them.
One thing I have noticed about some of the posts here is, they post one time and then you never hear from them again. I think they want to quit, but it is a lot easier just taking some more and forget about quitting. It is a lot easier to take opiates than it is to come off of them. Quitting isn’t easy, but neither is dieing.
I honestly hope you and I can get off this shit Derek!

720 Bruce { 08.24.11 at 9:58 am }
721 Metoo { 08.24.11 at 11:09 am }

Nice to see the guys supporting each other!! Just wanted to say, though, that if you are prone to anxiety, the L-Tyrosine isn’t the best way to go. A better approach might be to check out kava. Personally, I used kratom, and had no withdrawals at all. Keep up the good spirits, guys!!! More of us are over on the ‘about’ page if you’d like to join us! :)

722 Bruce { 08.24.11 at 11:54 am }

For some reason, the About page wont load for me?

723 Bruce { 08.25.11 at 6:19 am }

Well…made it through the night just fine. Took 1.5 Ativan. Did wake up drenched in sweat. Guess my body is getting rid of all the toxins.
Got 10 hrs of sleep.
Am taking 3500 mg of L-Tyrosine and that really helps. Almost makes me feel normal. Also taking a steady doasge of Pottasium. 1 tablet is 3% of the RDA so I take as many as I can get down me. Just took 2 Immodium because I can feel the runs coming on.
All in all, this is much better than the last time I tried to quit. I think I can whip this thing!

724 Bruce { 08.25.11 at 9:23 am }

PAIN is you bodys way of telling you it is healing itself.
Embrace PAIN.
Anything (except sex) that feels good ain’t good for you!
I told my wife that this Thomas Reciepe requires lot’s of sex. She didn’t believe me! :-(
I got tired of feeling crappy indoors and it’s a beautiful Summer day here so I decided to take a hike! I hiked 2 miles on the (baby) trail and it felt pretty good. It was about 85 degrees out so I decided enough was enough. Tomorrow I will get up earlier and take a 4 mile hike when it’s cooler.
I think exercise is key here.
Still would just like to take 1 pill! That would feel so good! I am commited. I couldn’t get one if I tried.

725 Bruce { 08.25.11 at 3:13 pm }

WOW! I took 2 Kanna caplets about 2 hrs ago and went down for a nap. Woke up and hoped in a hot shower and realized I feel 90% normal!
Could this be true? After 1 day? I dunno? Sounds too good.

726 Bruce { 08.25.11 at 3:17 pm }

BTW…I had a script filled for 75 Norcos on 7.13.11 and 2 refills. I went through the refills in less than a month and had to lie to get the last one filled. I guess I must have been doing around 10 a day at one point. I did taper the last week 5-5-4-2 and then nothing, which is today.

727 Derek { 08.25.11 at 7:15 pm }

Hey Bruce, it looks like the first day went very well for you. I hope it stays that way throughout the coming weeks. I am amazed at the exercise you managed too. I guess the marathons you did are still with you. I imagine if you can do exercise like that daily you will get thru this quickly. I’d be careful not to over do it though. I think you said it has been years since you exercised and the last thing you want is to be sore for days and not be able to do it. Obviously you know yourself better than I. Keep it up.

I’m still doing well with the tapering. So far I’ve only taken 3 10mg Norco’s today and it is just past 8pm. I can’t say it has been easy. I do have W/D symptoms but they are different from the C/T ones I’ve had in the past. The key being no vomitting this time. I think I’m still going to stay with this method for the time being. Knowing myself, one day I will wake up and just not take them although my plan is to use the 3 day weekend coming up with a few extra days off from work and do it then. So my time is coming.

728 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.26.11 at 4:33 am }

i too have trouble loading the about page sometimes. i try different ways; like clicking on recent posts to the right or just going straight to the about page thats listed on lower left. it really urks me sometimes; i also have to click completely out of E and get back onto site and try again sometimes. are you on a laptop or pc? if you are on phone i have heard that lots from other peopel.
Bruce. sounds like you are on your way. also sounds like you found a great frined in derek to help eachother through this!!! Excercise DOES help!!! Yes it could be true that y0u are feeling good. some people just don’t go through the extreme w/d’s. hopefully that will be you.
Derek; great idea with they long weekend coming up. i just suggested the same thing to another newbie on one of the other pages. shes a nurse and wants to quit and i suggested taking an extra day or two added onto the long weekend and shoot for then. glad you have a plan. hang in there and you guys keep suppporting each other.
great work boys

729 Bruce { 08.26.11 at 7:42 am }

Had a set back this morning. I think I am hung over from the Xanax I took last night.
My wife start ragging on me once she saw that too. That didn’t make matters any better.
I told her if I don’t get 110% support from, I am leaving. I will just go get a hotel room and be free from her mouth.
Tried walking, but found myself walking like I was drunk, so just turned around and went home.
She also threatened to call my doctor and tell them not to give me anything again. I informed her that that would not stop me if I really wanted them, it would just end up costing more.
Really I should be getting help from my doctor instead of being ignored.

730 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.28.11 at 5:45 am }

where’d ya go? hope you are still well. Bruce posted over on the about page. just FYI. sure he wil still check on you over here though.
just was thinking bout ya cuz hadnt seen anything from ya

731 Bruce { 08.28.11 at 7:19 am }

He wants to quit, but isn’t quite there yet. He will when he makes up his mind to do so.

732 Bruce { 08.28.11 at 7:24 am }

BTW… I think I am out of the woods after only 3 full days.
Took a brisk walk this morning and rested on top of a mountain overlooking the valley. Realized this is better than any drug.
Watched a documentary on Oxy addiction last night. It told about mostly kids getting hooked and then when they can’t find any, they try heroin which is way stonger and way cheaper.
Thousands are dying every year. It has surpassed automobile accidents in kids between 18 and 25. Pretty sad.

733 Bruce { 08.28.11 at 7:30 am }

BRE…if you are still around, find some Ativan or Xanax and take it a night.
During the day take something to pep you up like Kratom or L-Tyrosine. Also lots of Pottasium.
I smoked a litlle pot and that made me feel pretty much normal. I used to smoke a lot of pot in my younger days. Never got a addicted to it, so that is not a problem and it has tremendously helped me through this addiction.

734 Bruce { 08.28.11 at 7:31 am }

and exercise (walk) at least 15 minutes a day

735 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 08.28.11 at 2:05 pm }

glad to hear you are doing soo well!! thats awesome. yeah i know D isnt quite there yet; was just checkin in tho . you know . i also used to smoke pot when i was younger. i didnt use it through my w/d cuz i had major anxiety after a week or so and it would have just made it worse; but for some people i think its a great way to get through it. plus it may promote an appetite and sleep. lol :) glad to hear you sound great!! good for you!! i use this place to try and help others who are where i was at only weeks ago; well now almost 4 months. cant believe its been that long; but its a great place to remind yourself and to try and help others. i think you may end up being a great help on here so more power to ya man!!

736 Derek { 08.28.11 at 9:13 pm }

Sorry about the lack of posting but was at the parents place all weekend who live at the beach and really had zero internet access whatsoever. Tried to post from my blackberry but it simply didn’t work. It was real hot in LA this weekend and staying in my apartment was not going to cut it. Plus I felt like I needed the fresh air. I cut down a little more on my intake and I’m doing just ok. I must admit it’s better for me than C/T but I do see the point of going C/T since I do have W/D’s daily from tapering. If I went C/T it would probably be about 4-6 days only W/D’ing and I’m on day 10 of W/D’s from tapering I think. So really I’m extending the misery albeit at a much milder level than C/T for me. I’ve done it C/T before and I couldn’t move for days let alone keep anything food or liquid in my body. Today I didn’t take any until 5pm, I wanted to but I set a goal not to. I need to start exercising like Bruce. Well not a 4 mile hike, but at least a good 30 mins worth.

Bruce I’m glad to see you think you are out of the woods and am very impressed. I’m positive at some point soon I will be there with you. I must say I’ve thought about the pot thing at least to help me sleep but so far haven’t gone that route. I may in the next few days, if I can find it. Then again this is Cali where you can get a script for weed at the corner store. I’ve noticed the hardest part of this is the night time for me and the weed may help.

Thanks for checking in on me. I should be around all week after 6pm PST.


737 Derek { 08.28.11 at 9:16 pm }

Also, still can’t load the “about” page on this computer I’m using. If I can’t get it figured out soon, I will get on my company laptop or my iPad to see if I can get there. The page starts to load and then all of a sudden IE tells me it can’t load the page anymore.

738 Derek { 08.28.11 at 9:31 pm }

One more thing, where does the Vitamin B6 come in with The Thomas Recipe? It says “Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption”. If I am not taking the L-Tyrosine should I not be taking the B6? That’s what it sounds like.

739 Pinkerton { 08.29.11 at 2:01 am }

Good Morning!

I just have to say to Derek that I really admire your ability to stick with the tapering….I have never been able to do that…no self control. This will help with the final detox. Way to go!! :)

I still take the b6 along with multi-vitamens and it hasn’t hurt me. I would take vitamens along with the potassium. If you enjoy pot, I would take it because, like Neesip said, it probably does help with sleep and appetite and the overall feeling of wellbeing.

Good Luck.

740 Bruce { 08.29.11 at 4:20 am }

If you want anything that you are taking to absorb better I would take it. I use pot just to pep me up. I use Ativan to sleep and am tapering that out.
I’m on day 5 now and am out the door for work. Wish me luck!

741 Bruce { 08.29.11 at 2:32 pm }

Well… I’m on the other side of this now!!! Went to work today and it was perfectly fine. Actually felt like I am getting more energy than when I was on the hydros.
I did take a few L-Tyrosines (3500mg) first thing this AM, but that was it. Don’t need the pot anymore, but will still take a small dose of ativan tonight if I feel the need to do so.
Feels sooooo gewd! I was so used to being high all the time, now that I’m sober I feel high! Does that make sense? Sometimes I ramble.
So, how to go from doing 5-8 hydros a day to zero in 4 days by Bruce.
Hope yer with me Derek. It’s really not as bad as you would think. The first 2 days are hell, but after that it gets better quick. It’s not something you want to go through again tho, that’s fer sure!
Time to GET TOUGH!

742 Bruce { 08.29.11 at 3:04 pm }

Pot was key for me to get through this. I’m not a big pothead either. In fact I don’t even remember the last time I smoked it before this time.
I only used it to alter my mood and it did make me eat ALOT! I ate a whole box of cookies in 1 day! Some people get paranoid and weird on pot. I don’t. I figured if hydros didnt make me paranoid and weird, pot wouldnt either.
So for me:
Pound Potassium and 1 B6 while you are tapering. I only tapered for 3 days.

Day 1 of nothing-4000 mg of L-Tyrosine and B6 first thing in the morning. If you can tolerate it and don’t have to go anywhere, smoke some pot. Eat something. Take a hot bath or shower. I took 3 the first day and they were long and hot. Just like me! Try to go for a leasurely walk for just about 15 minutes. Keep taking Potassium. Most Potassium is only 3% of the RDA, so eat as many as you would like!
If you get the runs take some ammodium, but do it after you are done getting all those toxins out yer ass! Your body is flushing itself. Drink lots of liquid. This will help flush it out too.
Try to lay down and watch TV or just meditate. You will need to lay around the house for at least 2 days. In the afternoon take like 3000mg of L-Tyrosine and 1-B6 and smoke a little more pot. Drink, drink, drink. Pee, pee, pee.
Smoke some more pot if you want. More Potassium! Taper your drinking of liquids. You want to get a good nights sleep tonight with your Ativan, Xanax, Valium. Take a small dose of one of those and stumble to bed and SLLLLEEEEEPPPPPPPP. You need 10 hrs of sleep so if you wake up, take another SMALL! dose. I took Xanax the first night and could still feel it in the morning so I switched to Ativan which seems to be a milder sleep aid. You don’t want to be groggy in the morning. This is key. If you feel groggy, you are taking to much sleep aid or you need to get some L-Tyrosine or Kratom in your system. Don’t smoke any pot until you are fully awake.

Day2-Repeat Day 1 with the exception of 30 minutes of walking if you can. If you can’t don’t sweat it.

Day 3- Repeat Day 2 which was a repeat of day 1. Told ya’ I ramble.

Day 4-Yer gonna like this day. You are actually feeling better now! Suttle, but better.

Day 5-You still feel a little twing of WD, but nothing like Day 1. Work through it and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can’t wait for tomorrow now!

743 Bruce { 08.29.11 at 3:15 pm }

OH! I want to thank Neesip, Kitty Mom, Metoo, Pinkerton and I’m sure I forgot about 10 others for helping me through this with your spirit and knowledge. I most certainly couldn’t have done it without you!!!!!!
Brings tears to my eyes. Love you guys.

744 Bruce { 08.30.11 at 4:06 am }

Day 6 feels good already! Don’t think I will need pot anymore.

745 Kitty Mom { 08.30.11 at 1:38 pm }

Bruce Baby I am so very happy for you because you are coming out of the addiction – and well, I see my progress through you. Be here with me if you will on September 8th – that is my one year anniversary of being pill free – I am by no means bragging – I am just happy to be alive and in a better place. Thanks for posting, Bruce, and spreading the word that getting of the devil pills is possible….you see, it is most of the time not our fault – the pills feel good and while we are enjoying them for pain relief or whatever, our bodies play a little trick on us as we become addicted to the damn things……oh woe is me for what I have done to my body and mind – but oh how happy is me to be over it…..loving my life…..loving spreading the word……loving my new found friends.
See you around the corner!

746 Bruce { 08.30.11 at 3:42 pm }

That is so nice of you Kitty! You really sum it up well.
I will be here Sept 8th for sure!
Yeah, I started taking hydros because I have rhematoid arthritis. Mainly in my feet. Sometimes it feels like I’m walking on glass. My doctor prescribed 75 of them to me about every two weeks. I got others elsewhere to support my addiction.
I used to drive around and see other people having fun without them and thinking to myself, “If they can be happy without them, why can’t I?”
I used to think withdrawel was just something I would never experience and really didn’t believe I was that weak to have withdrawels from anything. Boy was I wrong!
There are so many people out there addicted to this crap, it is becoming an epidemic and it’s so easy to get addicted to.
Did you know JFK was addicted to pain pills? He didn’t live long enough to have to go through detox. Lucky for him!
Detox is not easy at all. I am in my 6th day and still notice it.
I did take some Kratom this afternoon after work, and it really perked me up! Did some study on the stuff.
The alkaloids in Kratom interact with opiate receptors. Really doesn’t get you high, just makes you feel better. People that take it and arent detoxing barely notice anything from what I have heard.
There I go…rambling again…
Derek! Where are you?? Let’s Roll!

747 Pinkerton { 08.30.11 at 5:09 pm }

Good Evening Everyone!

Well, the “Geek Squad” came out and got my computer network running and I’m finally typing on my new computer.

Kitty, we have to celebrate on September 8th!! Of course I will be here….CONGRATULATIONS!!! love ya.

Bruce, so glad to hear that you are doing so well. Keep it up..you are an inspiration to us all.


748 Derek { 08.30.11 at 8:09 pm }

I’m here Bruce, and I’m excited for you. I think it’s awesome what you have done. It is so amazing that your quote “If they can be happy without them, why can’t I?” is something I must have said 100+ times since I’ve wanted to quit. I can’t imagine how many more times I said it when I was taking 20-30 10mg Norco’s a day and sometimes more during those long days. I know I am still tapering off slowly but I have not taken more 8 in a day since I started tapering August 19th. The last few days it has been 5 or less and that’s because I don’t think about them much anymore. My next planned cut down is this Friday. I know I will be done with these things and into day 6 of no pills by mid Sept. They are actually making me feel worse than the W/D’s when I take them these days. I also only can take 1 or 1.5 at a time now compared to the 4 or 5 I was taking. I can’t believe I was taking that many at a time…WHOA!! I did get a little Herb and smoked some last night. While it did it’s job, boy do I hate smoking it. It has been since High School 20 years ago. Here is my weed pattern…I smoke it, panic for 30-40 minutes and then relax from then on out. The Herb won’t be hard to quit at all for me. I don’t get how people smoke that stuff from wake to bed time. Then again, they must think the same thing about my vicodin habit. Sorry, OLD habit.

Kitty Mom – UNREAL!! A year!! That must feel great. Congrats, that is really an accomplishment. I will for sure post something on Thursday night.

Bruce, while I feel strongly that I will be done soon, it would be great to continue to hear from you for a little while longer. I don’t need an everyday thing but reading your posts a few times a week does make me want to stop more and more and it does make me think twice when I’m tapering if I really need this next one. Plus your energy is second to none on this message board. So if you can, please hang out for a while longer. It would be appreciated. You may not be going anywhere but I’m just letting you know once in a while still I could use ya.

Thanks Derek…

749 Bruce { 08.31.11 at 2:09 pm }

Thanks for all the kind words Derek!
Today is day 7. I am taking Kratom now instead of smoking pot. It is working very well. Just makes me feel normal. Not even a tinge of WD.
I actually woke up this morning full of energy! Felt really good to be normal for a change.
It really cuts the WD symptoms. I strongly recommend it.
I will be here for a long time. I want to see you succeed cause I know you will! I can feel it! I will be here long enough to see that for sure.
I can’t wait for you to feel like I feel right now. The first few days are the worst and then it’s all downhill from there.
It will be the best week of your life! It won’t be while you are doing it, but when you reflect back, you will realize it.
If pot makes you panic, I wouldn’t do it. Try Kratom and all the rest of the recipe.
Come to my side Derek!
BTW…. I venture down to So Cal all the time. Maybe someday we can meet up and have a beer or something?

750 Gina { 08.31.11 at 3:15 pm }

Hi everyone! For the past couple days I have been reading every post and I am sooo happy to have found this site! Everyone on here is really helping me mentally!! I posted an entry yesterday but its in moderation :( … I don’t have any friends because all of them are on pills so all I have is my mom and my 2 precious chihuahuas :) its been 2 weeks that I haven’t taken a pill…but I am STILL bed ridden! I have no motivation to get up and do anything except go to the bathroom or refrigerator….I lay in bed and watch TV which is a great distraction. I did not do this cold turkey, I am taking a half of suboxone everyday along with zoloft and valium..my sleeping schedule is so out of whack! This really sucks. I am 25 yrs old and been on vics,oxycodone, and then moved up to roxys. I took these pills everyday for 6 years. Before the pills I considered myself to be a very lazy person so when I first took them (got em off the streets) the energy and motivation they gave me was unbelievable! They gave me that drive to get up and go to work, school, everything! Fast forward to today—i can’t even go out of the house! I guess its the anxiety??? I am taking vitamins and drinking a lot of Gatorade….I just need some guidance, please someone help me

-NEEDS HELP from Philadelphia

751 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 09.01.11 at 10:36 am }

you are doing sooo soo awesome!! so glad to hear things are looking up and you are almost through this crap!! thanks for recognizing me the other day and you are very welcome. anything to help. ; but YOU are the one that did it. not me, or kitty or anyone else. yeah we supported you; but pat YOURSELF on the back cuz you are awesome!!
Going to grandparets in KY this weekend. long long drive but grandpas not well. prob wont have service in the sticks .. so if i don’t talk to ya soon thats where i am. keep up the great work!!

752 Gina { 09.01.11 at 3:42 pm }

Hello everyone! I have been reading and absorbing all of your informative info. I started taking these Nasty things 6 years ago. I’m 25 now so in the beginning my dosage was quite low. For the past 2 years I started taking 30-120mg a day of roxys. My tolerance is now so high for such a tiny young woman like me. I have now hit rock bottom and realized that I want to be NORMAL again! It has been 2 weeks and I have been taking a half of suboxone when I wake up along with zoloft for the anxiety. The suboxone takes all aches and pains away and helps the cravings BUT I feel very depressed and have absolutely NO MOTIVATION to get out of bed and do anything. The drugs make me feel like I can do anything, I’m happy, calm, and very sociable! Now I don’t even want to go out of the house! I have my mom here with me but she has no idea what this is like so it’s very hard. Valium makes me stay up, so to sleep I take Melatonin. I just don’t know what to do at this point and I am really looking for help here. Thanks

753 Derek { 09.01.11 at 10:03 pm }

Long day..Quickly here to say congrats to Kitty for the 1 year. Thanks Bruce, I clearly need to get that Kratom if it really helped you that much. Especially since I know this tapering is coming to an end. For some reason I feel worse than I used to after taking a pill. It is clearly telling me it’s time to finish this off. I need to pick a day soon and do it. Be back here as soon as I can.

754 Bruce { 09.02.11 at 2:10 pm }

You will do just fine Derek. Go for it! Get all yer ducks in a row first.
Take time off from work and figure on being out of commission for a few days. It will be worth it in the long run.

755 Karen { 09.04.11 at 2:32 pm }

2nd day of withdrawal. Became addicted after several surgeries and car accident. Was on for 3 yrs for pain management but depression became so bad I needed to withdrawal. Went thru a 5 wk OP step down and been clean 3 yrs. I got sick 2 months ago and was put back on pain meds. Was on for 5 wks before they took out my gallbladder. Could not believe it was enough to put me back on the withdrawal merry go round. Pretty sick today. I take comfort in the fact I was successful before and plan to be again. It’s still Hell. Much love to all who suffer.

756 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 09.05.11 at 4:54 am }

Gina, Gina, Gina
welcome welcome welcome!! sorry to have missed your post. that moderation crap is BS. i think some people never return because they don’t think anyone will respond to them so i hope you get this!!
first off, i think you said you havent taken one in 2 weeks? if so thats amazing and you are through the worst of it!! i personally was a very very very heavy user 20 norcos a day for like 6 years and at 2 weeks my body was still in pain. not as bad as at first but yes still some pain. i used ibuprofen 800 mg every 4-6 hrs and tllenol alternated with it. as far as the anxiety goes, i too had that. i am on prozac for it and it seems to have helped. it really sucked at first. you will get some energy back, but you have to want it. take baby steps. walk soley around the house if you have to , then around the block, and then do more and more . you get the idea. excercise really will help with energy and you are young so you can do it!! i have been super ass lazy for last years and now have more energy than ever since off the pills. hell i had to take some pills to get out of bed, take a pee, brush my hair, etc.. you get the idea and i sure you were the same way to an extent so i get it; but you CAN go to school, work, etc without them and eventually you will feel better than when on them. i promise!! stick with this!!! of course you will have days when you just feel lazy and tired, but that called LIFE. so don’t beat yourself up about it. just let it be!!! allow yourself that. try to go to the store or any small task and go from there. it will get better!! please hang in there!! i hope you see this and come back to us here. if you can find the “about” page there are many friends there to help!!
love and prayes girl!!

757 Bruce { 09.05.11 at 12:54 pm }

Hi Gina. Addiction is when you realize you can’t function without those wonderful drugs in your life. If you let them get you, they WILL eventually KILL you….. kinda a double edged sword.

Best thing to do is go COLD TURKEY and bite the bullet. If it takes you 6 months, you just saved yer life! Probobly won’t take that long, but after 6 yrs, it will take a while. Day by day.

You will get the “little voices” in your head for a long time to come. They will be telling you things like, “it’s OK just to take 1, it will make you feel normal again” or “GET THE SCRIPT FILLED!” That is the one that talks to me the loudest. Try to focus on something else. Go vacuum your bedroom or something.

Also, GET YER’ ASS OUT OF BED! Laying in bed all the time becomes a living tomb. No life what so ever. You feel like death laying in your bed. Get out and take a gentle stroll somewhere. Only go to bed to sleep. 10 hrs a night until you wake up one day with only 8 hrs and say to yerself, WOW! I have energy! Without drugs! Very cool feeling. It’s kinda like “oh yeah, I remember this!” “This is how I used to feel!”

I have been 11 days without. I have to admit, it hasn’t been easy. I still get my cravings and notice I am not 100% together yet expecially as the day wears on.

I would absolutely love 2 hydros right now! Remind myself, GET TOUGH! You have to get tough. You got yourself in this predicament, you can get yourself out!
If YOU can’t do it by yourself, seek help. This is SERIOUS SHIT you got yourself in to! I am not one to “sugar coat” stuff.

We all love you Gina! Love YOURSELF!
Get to it girl! I know you can do it!

758 Gina { 09.06.11 at 9:43 am }

Neesip & Bruce:
Thank you so much for responding to my post :) I have been getting some energy “spurts” around the house but still my mind is taking over and telling me that I “can’t” do this. Because I went right over to the Suboxone 2 weeks ago, I never experienced any physical wd’s (I have in the past, but would always find pills to stop it). So now I feel like the mental part is killing me and I just crave to put some kind of pill in my mouth (ibuprofen 800,melatonin,valium,etc.) I want to do this soo bad but I feel like I am just masking the problem with the Subs. So my question is: Do I continue with a half of sub a day (even though they do not give me full energy) or get pills and go cold turkey with this Thomas Recipe, which I already have all of the necessary items. ??? Sorry to talk so much but I just need your advice because my mom and dad don’t understand what I am really going through. My only income right now is selling products and clothing on Ebay but I have no motivation to do it…Maybe I am experiencing Depression as well? Hope to hear from you guys soon, I am going to get some sleep.

Once I get my ass outta bed and on my actual PC, I will check out the About page, my phone won’t load it :(

God Bless Us All

759 Bruce { 09.06.11 at 2:56 pm }

Gina. Part of your depression is derived from the state you know you are in. Like I said before….You got yerself in to some serious shit here!

Don’t take your valium or ativan until you are ready to go to bed at night. You CAN take Ibuprofen, just not a bunch of it, throughout the day.


If you are serious about doing this, STOP THE SUBS NOW.

You are about to enter hell. You will want one then more than you do now. This is not going to be easy, but I know YOU CAN DO IT!
DO NOT listen to the “voices”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STAY STRONG! This is the biggest test of your life for your life!

Start loading up on Potassium. Take as many of those as you want.
If you feel tired take about 6 L-Tyrosine. I took Kratom with it too.
Pot really helped me, but if you have anxiety, I would stay away.
Get the Immodium ready, but only after you shit yer brains out.
Hot baths! uhhhhhm…I love them even when I’m not in WD. Take as many as you feel like, but don’t do it when you are taking valium.
You are going to experience depression unlike anything you have ever felt. I am still experiencing this slightly. Kratom will help with that by blocking the opiate receptors in your brain. Pot helped me too.

Once YOU start feeling better, you will have the energy to get back to work which will make you feel even better and solve another one of your problems.

It’s hard Gina…. there are countless numbers of people here that know exactly what you are going through and what you are about to enter in to.
We have all done it. If we can, YOU can too! Come join us please?

Derek!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where are ya’?


760 tiffany { 09.07.11 at 4:44 pm }

Wow, that’s all I can really say after reading these posts for the last 2 days. I’m def in I think a bigger situation than most on this site and wish I would have found something like this years ago when a vic actually did something. But I guess now is better than never. Well my story is like most you get them for some legit pain but I always said I’d rather be addicted than in this pain. It is def not how I feel now totally addicted and have taken a 2 week supply of 75 mcg fentanyl and 12 mcg fentanyl patches, though I obvously don’t wear them but I’m not going to say what I do because after watching a intervention type show and seeing someone do that with them I said what the heck I hate waiting for them to kick in, also I take the lollipops fentanyl 500 mcg and 2 mg dm I get them compounded and I can take 6 a day but usually do 20 to 30 a day, I’m not going to lie on here or it will be just hiding more and I won’t get off them, then to top it off I’m on roxy 30 mg 2 every 6 hours but never take the right dose. They don’t get me in trouble though its the fentanyl I like. So I warned you it was bad. I’ve done a lot I’m not proud of but we all have I can see. What really screwed me up was I decided after months of talking about detox I finally got rid of my fentanyl and did with just roxy for 3 days about 2 weeks ago and called and sch my in patient detox well after all this time finally getting the courage to say yes I have a problem and yes I need help to a professional I am told about our wonderful health care system and that even though I have in patient detox in my insurance benifits my company won’t accept me for inpatient and maybe to try suboxone therapy I had done a little research on it and knew right away that won’t work for me. I need to be free of all my addictions even cigg which I plan on quiting too probably at the same time. Just get it out of the way. Ok so here I am a few weeks later and have already gone through my fentanyl a few days ago and have just been on roxy about 4 every 4 hours or so and feel like crap. I hear the fentanyl is the worst to come off of so I wanted to get a few days off it to really jump in but feel so bad now why not just stop it all? That’s where I’m at right now?? What to do next?! I know the wd is way worse off everything but I still don’t feel good at all actually really bad. I’m just not sure I’m 100% ready but at the dose I’m taking now I only have a few days to figure it out. I also recently about 2 mo ago had a seizure which they don’t think is from the meds but I’m not sure. As far as that goes none of my drs want me to not be hospitalized. And neither do I actually. I’m just afraid of it all and have always said if the physical withdrawl wasn’t there I would have quit years ago. But after reading all these posts I feel the mental depression might be the worst, def feeling that big time now! And I’ve suffered from depression my whole life due to many deaths as a child. My father at 10 grandpa at 13 and brother at 16 then my house burned down at 19 but the problem started at 16 I think. It’s been 10 or 11 years now so I’m now 27 years old and not even sure what a life is like sober. I don’t remember and have always been a down home type person. Probably why I liked the pills they have me that up and I had it pretty undercontrol until about a year and a half ago my fiancee and I broke up and he took his daughter away from me. That was the killer for me! Losing a child is very hard and I just stopped trying after that. Since then went on disability and have totally stopped living. My family knows about the meds I take just not the extent but they are very unaware of where I’m at in all this, so not much help to me. I just get yelled at for staying in bed all day. They just don’t get it and although today is not my day to quit it will be soon and this site has helped me a lot in discovering this. So thank you to all of you for your posts and hope soon I can write back and say this is it and ask for your supper as you have done to so many in the past! So I’m gonna thank you ahead of time, I’m gonna need it!

761 Bruce { 09.08.11 at 6:08 pm }

Tiffany! Welcome!

Yeah…you got yerself in to some deep shit alright!

Do you want to live?….if you don’t, continue on. If you do, STOP! STOP NOW!

I know that is pretty strong language, but that is what you got yerself in to. If you don’t quit this shit, you WILL die pretty soon.
If you take our advise and run with it, you will live.
You are way too young to be in this situation. You need to grab life and and experience all the wonderful things it has to offer. There is much joy ahead IF you get off this crap you are killing yourself with.

If I were you, I would try to do what we suggest on this site. If that doesn’t work, seek professional help.

I was married to a girl just like you once. She is dead now.

I have lived a life of addiction also. I have been addicted to meth, alcohol, cigarettes, and pain pills. Pain pills by far were the hardest to kick.

BTW… your seizure was because of what you are taking. No doubt in my mind.

Get all your ducks in a row. The first few days are the hardest. It GRADUALLY becomes easier, but I would say with the amount of time you have been killing yourself, it will take a while.

One day you will wake up in the morning and say, “hey! I am high!”.
It won’t be because of drugs. It will because you gave yourself life!
It feels like something you probably have never felt before. It feels WAY better than drugs. FEEL IT!

YOU CAN DO IT! I KNOW YOU CAN! YOU KNOW YOU CAN! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET TOUGH! This is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done, but if you succeed, you will be rewarded beyond any of your expectations.

Remember….DO NOT listen to the VOICES!

You are the same age as my daughter. I hold a special place in my heart for you. You can do it!

762 Need Some Inspiration PLEASE { 09.09.11 at 3:23 am }