How to Deal With Post-Withdrawal Depression
Although I would classify acute-withdrawal as the worst part of opiate detox, the post-withdrawal depression is a close second…it’s HORRIBLE! I remember every time my main “kick” was over, and as soon as I thought I was in the clear, I would get slammed with the worst depression ever. It was bad enough to make me want to go back to the drugs.
In my previous post I write about PAWS and the symptoms associated with it, one of which being depression. I wanted to dedicate an entire post to just this subject, because it’s been the reason for many a relapse episodes for me. It’s so hard to struggle with 7-14 days of hardcore withdrawal only to feel like an empty, unhappy soul once all the physical stuff is over. It’s like you’ve just went through the battle of your life, and right when you’re starting to feel regular again, you’re thrown right back in, but in a completely different way. It can be very discouraging.
Throughout the years I learned a few things that helped me get through the depression which was at times suicidal. But a word of caution before I continue; Suicidal-depression is no joke. It’s a darkness that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, and to this day I’m amazed at how I made it through some of the bouts that I did. I urge you get help immediately if you or a loved one is seriously contemplating suicide. For some it’s just a fleeting thought, but for others it’s the real deal. Don’t risk it.
Levels of depression can vary from person to person, but I’ve noticed that I’ve been able to fight off any level with just a few simple things.
#1: Get Yourself Around Some People.
I can’t stress this enough. Don’t EVER stay by yourself when dealing with depression. That is why 12-step programs work for some folks, it’s because you have somewhere to go when you’re feeling down. It’s amazing how other people’s positive energy can rub off on you in a miraculous way. I’ve had many a times when I’ve been ready to either call it quits (in life), or jump ship and go back to popping pills, but before I start whaling in my sorrows, I call a few of my most outrageous buddies and we go do something loud, fun and crazy (without drugs). Before I know it, I’m wondering what the hell I was all down for. This single act alone can be enough to pull you out of the madness, but the hardest part is actually doing it. When we’re depressed, all we want to do is lock ourselves in a dark room so we can feel sorry for ourselves. It’s masochistic in a way, yet the best prescription for being in the shitter, is the one thing we do not want to do. Force yourself! Your life may depend on it.
#2: Exercise.
I know I talk about this quite a bit, but only because it works. Exercise releases endorphins that are very similar to the drugs we’re trying to get clean from, so when you get a nice run or weight routine going, you’ll feel much better. There have been times when I’ve worked out three times in one day just to power through some God awful depression. Mix that with a good night out with some friends, and I guarantee you’ll be a different person by the time your head hits that pillow.
#3: Pray or Meditate.
This can be one of the most powerful tools in battling depression, but I’ve found that for me it’s also the most difficult. It is so hard for me to kneel and pray when I feel like crap. I’ve tried to make myself do it, but I’ve noticed that I’ll give up rather quickly. It’s much easier for me to force myself into calling a few friends to hang out, then to pray all by myself. But the funny thing is that when I do go out with my buddies, and then I come back home, I find myself very grateful and thanking God for the rest of the night. If you’re religious/spiritual, you can always call your friends and pray or meditate together.
#4: Get Professional Help.
I’ve personally never been to a therapist for my depression. My close friends and relatives are all the therapy I need to get out of my slump, but I understand that those kinds of relationships might be scarce for some of you. So, I don’t see anything wrong with having a therapist to talk to when you’re down. Although I do recommend you find the right one. It might take you a few tries, but there will always be a professional out there that matches your personality.
A Note about Antidepressants.
I’m very reluctant to suggest that you obtain any antidepressant drugs to deal with your depression. I think that most antidepressants can do much more harm than good. I’ve heard many stories about individuals who commit suicide because they were on some sort of antidepressants, and because of their substance abusing past, they end up mixing their prescription with alcohol or some other drug. That’s just a recipe for disaster. However, I am a big advocate of doing what works best for you. So, please do your own research if you or your Doctor decide that you should get on some pills. BE CAREFUL.
I hope this post helps any of you dealing with post-withdrawal depression right now. I’d also love to hear your ways of dealing with it as well.
112 comments
Thank you so much, your information was very helpful. I am the Mother of a son who is trying to get off vicodin addiction. I do not know what I am supposed to look for, nor what to do to help him. He is smoking pot to get off the vicodin. Does that help?? I can use any suggestion you have and thank you for this site!
Jerri,
Anything that can ease the pain of withdrawal helps, so the marijuana is probably helping him, but it’s definitely not the solution. When we’re going through detox, we only care about feeling better, so we self-medicate. Sometimes we get so desperate that we’ll try anything to get some relief, so it’s a tight rope that we walk when trying to self-detox. If he can stick with the marijuana, then he should be fine in a few days.
How long has he been using? Has he gone back to the drug after getting clean more often than not? These are questions that you should be asking yourself, because that way you can figure out what to do once he’s gotten that stuff out of his system. You might not know the answers yourself, so try asking him as well. It’s really difficult to tell when someone is popping painkillers. It’s not as noticeable as some other drugs.
If you think that he has a serious problem, then I would try and setup some sort of intervention as soon as possible. Addiction is a very tricky thing. He won’t stop using until he makes that decision for himself. But, you might be able to help him along. Either with regular or a little tough love.
Hello I just had a question about PAWS. I’ve been taking painkillers for about 9 months mostly oxy. I would never go over an 80 a day my girlfriend and I would actally split every painkiller we got. My question is will we be hit with PAWS hard? Or does it not matter how much you do or how long. We have been clean four days tho!!!!!
Alex,
Your story sounds very similar to the Jeff post. I’m assuming it’s you again just using a different alias. PM if I’m wrong.
Getting in a hot tub is the best thing for PAW. Everyday, three or four times if you can. Sweating in a sauna is a good way to rebalance your body as well.
I have been wanting to stop taking pain pills for awhile now and always tell myself that i will when… and make up some excuse why I can’t right now. My husband knows that I take pain pills but not to the extent. He knows about my chronic back pain and can not see me in pain so doesn’t say anything to me. He recently stopped smoking cold turkey for us to have a healthier future and I am so proud of him and know that I can quit also. I decided to first try and lower the amount I take each day (dramatically not just minimally) and then set a date to stop completely. Has this worked for you or was it better for you to just stop? I have been taking them for 2 years now and don’t know the best way. I also how long did it take for you to get your energy back? I booked marked your page because after days of searching the web your blog is the only one that gave me hope. I really think I can do it. Thank you for your blog and your time. K.
Adam,
Although I can appreciate your hesitiation to suggest anti-depressants to people on this site, I am moved to counter that so that people don’t get the idea that they are “bad” or that a person is somehow “weak” for needing them. There are some of us who suffer from hardcore clinical depression, the kind that is hereditary and dangerous. I have been on a medium dose of SSRI’s for almost 12 years. They saved my life. People who suffer from suicidal tendencies are far better off working with their doctor to find a suitable antidepressant than in white knuckling the lowest of the lows and then perhaps attempting self-destruction. If you have never personally taken them, you should be careful with your comments. For every “horror story” you may have heard regarding antidepressants, there are just as many success stories and lives that have been saved. In addition, therapy comes in many forms. This site is a form of therapy as are 12 step programs. While you are correct in advising that a person be patient and find the right match in a therapist (as there certainly are some losers out there), once a solid match is made, an addict can get more information and delve into the core of what makes the addict tick in the first place. Taking the drugs (or over drinking, or abusing anything) is a symptom of much deeper, unresolved issues. All addicts have them. Getting therapy (individual/group) on an out or in-patient basis can make the difference between quitting over and over or for good. Therapy/education, anti-depressants, and self exploration with the help of a professional saved my life and changed my thinking for the better (although emotionally painful at many times). I would highly recommend it for individuals with repetitive abuse cycles, self -esteem issues, and chronic depression. “Fake it ’til you make it” doesn’t work if one never stops faking it. A blog like this is nice (some great, caring advise), but combined with professional help and/or 12 step programs and for those who need it, anti-depressants, breaking the cycle of addiction can be even more successful and a new life can shine true. Hang in there, people. You can do this and asking for help is NOT shameful!!
I am a substance abuse, chronic depression, chronic pain, trauma survivor!
Hi Cathy,
Thanks for the comment. I hope my post doesn’t come off as blacklisting anti-depressants across the board. To be honest, I don’t feel that it does, but if that’s what you got out of it, then maybe I should reword.
I personally suffer from serious depression, especially during the winter months, I have also taken SSRI’s before. I was on Zoloft for a few months, and although it did help with the low’s, it had some negative side effects as well. Side-effects that I wasn’t willing to deal with. That’s why I hope my readers will do what both you and I mention…their research.
Everyone is different, and yes clinical depression does exist. I also agree that, as the patient, it’s our responsibility to make sure we’re doing what’s best for us, and not what’s best for the pharmaceutical companies. As long as that criteria is met, then SSRI’s are fine by me.
I also hope that I didn’t make it seem like it’s either “shameful” or “weak” to be someone that uses anti-depressants. I do, however, believe that some level of effort should be put into trying to find alternative means besides drugs to treat our depression.
Adam,
Thanks for you thoughtful response. I think you and I are on the same page. I too, think that Docs write SSRI scrips like mad (and very, very often when not needed), but just wanted to clarify that sometimes they are life savers. In addition, not all SSRIs are created equal; I had to try 3 different until I found the one that I could live with. (Which you have addressed.)
This is a GREAT site. You do offer more assistance and hope to people who are withdrawing than any doctor does. Thanks so much for that!
BTW: I haven’t seen the drug Trazadone addressed by anyone on this site. They can be a great temporary sleep aid for a few weeks until a person begins to adjust.
Thanks again for your time, caring, and research!
been on vicodin for a little less than a year. stopped and its been a week and i feel not right still. wondering when i will feel normal and not inclined to get some more pills which work great for the bone spur pain but seem to take over…..how much longer..
Hi Ric, just out of curiosity how many pills/mg’s were you taking a day? I’ve been taking about 3-10mg’s a day for about two years. I haven’t stopped yet but I’m wondering what I’m in for when I do. I really never thought it was that serious, and a lot of people on this board were taking WAY more than what I’m taking, but I’ve still experienced w/d symptoms for a day or two before I restocked, and I have no idea what it will be like when I do stop. Maybe if you’re taking a comparable amount it will give me a clue.
i was taking 2 at a time 500mg vic 3 times a day for about 10 months. i was never in pain i can tell u that but there was never enough pills and i was getting looks from the doc and the pharm people and was always waitng for 6 hours to get the max effect of intox. felt lower than low for about two weeks but im starting to feel good again big time but now that i no i can do it the temp is there to get a refill cuz i no i can do it so thats my only prob now just sayin no and livin with the pain wich is constant but not deserving such powerfull meds.
Hi All,
My 30 year old daughter has just been released on bond for faking prescriptions for Vic.
She has a 2 year old son and a clueless boyfriend that has given her money to support her habit because he “loves” her.
This is her second offense. Her court date is next week.
She says that she wants to stop and is willing to get therapy for her addiction.
Can anyone relate? I was wondering about an intervention and/or rehab.
Any feedback would be most welcome.
Nancy,
I was arrested myself back in 99′ for altering a prescription. Drug diversion programs are available. I would highly recommend that you have her take that deal instead of the jail time. The fact that she’s been arrested might be intervention enough, I’m not sure, but at least the diversion program will give her the time she needs to reflect about what she’s doing to herself. It definitely helped me. I do admit that I didn’t agree with some of the treatment that went on, but at least it gave me enough clean time to really think about my situation. When a person is that deep into a drug, when it’s that chronic, it’s difficult to think rationally. She needs some clean time, and the threat of jail can help with that. Unless she’s not afraid of going to jail, then you’ll have to consider other options, like intervention.
I have been taking 1-2 vicodin about 5 days a week for 2 years. I have multiple sclerosis and rheumatoid arthritis. That is not very much at all I realize. I don’t feel addicted, I can stop at any time which I have approx two weeks ago. I am not even wanting to take any. The problem is, I am so depressed and fatigued that it is debilitating. I do have illnesses that can cause this but could it be the vicodin withdrawl even though it was not taking more than 1-2 a day? I never thought I was addicted, I still don’t because I havn’t taken more and more like the “typical” addicts. But, can I be suffering withdrawl?
Mary,
I still believe that you are in fact experiencing withdrawal. There was a period in my life when I was only using the same amount 1-2 5mg hydrocodone for about a year, and when I stopped, I still felt pretty crummy. However, it was nothing compared to the other detoxes that I’ve been through. Both dose and duration matter. Even though you’ve only used a small amount, you’ve still been consistently substituting your own natural opiates with external ones, so your internal opioid system has probably suffered a bit. No biggie, you can get back on track quick. Can you exercise? Do it everyday. How about acupuncture? Try that. Since your dose was pretty low, it won’t take much to get back to normal.
I’m two weeks off vicodin and still feel like — well, you know. Was taking between 3-5/day for 6-7 years. I stopped only because I read about losing your natural pain endorphins, which I now see has been the case. All this time I convinced myself I needed them for pain. The worst pain lasted a few days. Now it’s intermittent. I have terrible cold type symptoms, fatigue, pain, and of course the emptiness and obsession that now makes me want to eat and take up smoking again. I’m wondering if the long duration of my use will play a part in how long it will take to recover and if there will be permanent effects.
Amy – I can’t really answer your question, but this is good info for me.
I am in the process of quitting now. Had 0 on Friday and Sat, then broke down and had one Sunday. The depression and anxiety are just crushing, and I am on an SSRI and buspar and still I’m finding it tough. So, yeah, I working with a psychiatrist, but still I just don’t know if I can do it. Right now it seems impossible, and I think the people on this board are incredible and so much tuffer than I am for going through their detox.
I hope you all don’t mind me joining the discussion…it’s hard to find “current” online support. I’m going thru my first (and hopefully only) detox. 14 months of use. i started with about 20mgs a day and ended at over 200mgs. (oxycodone) Yup that sencond number is two hundred. i’m young, married and have kids. my last use was 4s days ago. i didn’t think i’d make it thru the initial pain. for the first 20 days i thought i’d be in less pain if someone set me on fire! the physical pain is still horrible but i now i’m finding the mental pain is just as bad. SHMOE discribed it really good….crushing. i cant explain the pain of the depression associated w/withdrawal.
Stopping is not the same for everyone. some take longer than others. the severity of the pain is different. i’ve met ALOT of people going thru this. that has truely the best support i’ve found. Isolation is your biggest enemy. everyday i question my choice to stop using. i know i made the right decission but it’s very difficult to stay committed to that decision. i feel like i’m drowning; like there’s no air to breathe. i’m not sure what else to say. i’m afraid my story will scare someone out of quiting, but i also know there must be someone else out there with a similar story. i don’t know that it will get any better…but it can’t get any worse.
I have been taking vicodin for 5 months now, due to a shoulder injury and I am slowly reducing my mg. I am terrified of the detox. How long does it take? I read different things. SOme say 3-4 days and other say weeks. I guess I want to know, when will I feel good enough to get out of bed? I am already on meds for depression and have been for 8 yrs. DO you think that will help the depression?
Layla – I really think it’s an individual thing, But it does seem like most poeple are mostly recovered in a week after quitting. I have depressions/anxiety issues, which is why I started with vic in the first place. Now my doc has switched my meds again, trying to find a good working combo – and I am very hopeful that this will work. Currently I’m taking Cymbalta and buspar, still waiting for Cymbalta’s full effect but this is teh best I’ve felt in years. I am down to 2 vics a day and feel fine mentally.
The whole point is that maybe you just need to find the right meds to control your depression and then you will have the strength to quit the opiates. This is what I’m hoping for me anyways!
Hey everyone I stumbled upon this page while searching for withdrawal stories. I am 32 and a mom of 2. I have played around with taking a 1/4 of a 30mg roxi here and there for a little over a year. Never was big into them cause anymore then a 1/4 would make me sick. I got down in Oct and started taking 2 pieces a day then got up to a half every now and then. I decided to have surgery in Feb and when I was recovering ran out of 50 mg demerol to go to buying 30mg roxis from a friend. I was taking 3-4 full pills a day for a week then started to cut back. I was so afraid when I saw how much money this new habit was costing and how I had started getting out of control in every sense. I was maxing out all my credit cards shopping to fulfill some pain or anger I had and wasting 100′s of dollars buying these pills. I finally decided to try suboxene, hated em. I took a small crumb of one here and there for 6 days till I thought I was going to end up in the mental hospital. I quit them cold turkey 5 days ago. Been so sick. Nasuea, on the toilet all day, crying and have zero motivation or energy. I force myself to do everything. I am scared to death cause I have two kids I have to raise and care for here. I have no help really and am beyond discouraged. I feel like this will never end I need any and all support I can get now.
You’ve come to the right place, Melanne. There are lots of folks here who have gone through or are currently going through exactly what you are at this time. Bookmark this page, and keep checking back. You’ve found the support system you need right here.
I am sending prayers your way, Melanne. Hang tight, and do your research here~~get out and get the ingredients of the Thomas Recipe. It works. Read through some of the other posts too, so that you KNOW that you are not alone.
Stick with it, Melanne. You are a smart girl, and YOU can do this. It gets better. Sending loads of serious prayers your way, starting right now!!!
I understand I have kids to and it makes it even harder. I have made it to day 10 you can do it !! It is hard at first but gets waay better hang in there and I’m praying for you.
I have been on Hydrocodone on/off for about 7 years. Within that time, I’ve had two surgeries on my leg (thus the need for the painkillers). I put off my total hip replacement so I could keep working, so for three years, I was a junkie. I am not even 50. A total hip replacement is no joke – the anesthesia will induce clinical depression. For the first time in my life, I formulated suicide plans. I started taking Cymbalta soon after, but the side effects of it scared the shit out out of me (should never be given to the elderly!). I’m on Prozac now because I just kicked (again) last week, and the depression is crushing me. I don’t have much support. I have stopped crapping myself, but I have no energy. I hope and pray for the best. I think the Prozac may be making me feel worse. I started Taekwondo to deal with these issues, but compensatory pain in my left hip ligament sent me right back to guess what – more pills. I have major issues. I need a knee replacement. However, at this time, my major concern is staying clean and living with the pain (I’m in physical therapy for my leg). Very depressing. Send prayers, please. And with the strength of our Creator I wish you all Good Health and Happiness.
Depressed in Atlanta
Getting this thread back on the “highlights” of latest posts….Praying for all of us!!!
Hey, Jules…Prozac might not be the right med for you!!! I took it for ONE WEEK, and I was formulating suicide plans too. Some meds just don’t work!!! That one sends up big red flags for me! But YOU hang in there, and DO NOT follow through with your plan! We need you here. YOU are going to beat this, and live to tell others what you went through and YOU will make a difference to someONE!!!! YOU WILL!!!!! I am sending prayers your way!!!! PRONTO. Come back to us and post tomorrow, and every day thereafter, PLEASE. We NEED you. You have a great deal to offer all of us who are in the SAME BOAT as you are. You are NOT alone, we are in this crap together, and TOGETHER, we will pull through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sending prayers and love your way, my friend….
for Melanne,
can you write me? Having very similar problems, have two children also, it is so hard.
dovie
I just found this website from a Google search for ‘opiate withdrawal depression’. I quit my heavy use 50mg/day vicodins three weeks ago, and tapered it down to 30, then 20, then zero in a two week time period. I’ve been clean for over a week now and I just want to bite everybody’s head off, including my own.
I knew that there would be a withdrawal from these ( I was taking them for pain and recover from shoulder surgery), but I though I was tough enough to deal with it. I was wrong. I can not believe how horrible I feel. Depressed, guilty, negative, critical, almost suicidal but not quite, self hatred, etc.
I’m 51 (male) in good shape and I have only seen a head shrinker one time before in my life. I went to see a psychologist yesterday who told me that I am not going crazy, but that I am withdrawing from the drugs and it will take 6 to 8 weeks to feel closer to normal. Today I have felt better than I have in a couple of weeks, so I guess there is hope.
He also told me to read Wayne Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention”, and I also bought Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” book by my own choice. Anyway, I don’t know any of you, but I just wanted to share and say you are not alone. Let’s all strap in, hang on, and get through this without going back to the place that brought us here.
I want my life back, and I don’t want to go through this again. The drugs were fun, and I wish that I could take them every day without consequences, but that just isn’t possible now is it? Life without drugs is more awesome. I know, I’ve been there, and I want to get back there.
i am currently going through the same paws symptoms, but came out of my opiate detox with a bit of a benzo addiction as well as i was taking @ 1-2 mgs of xanax 3 or more times a week for the last few months of my addiction ( detox from the vics started 3/14/10)..i mean..some days i feel like it’s over and i’m in the clear..wake up and feel the same way like today and then BAM..the depression comes like a wrecking ball..no suicidal and i am not going back to my $30-40 a day habit of 10-20 vics a day..that would be insanity..but what i am going to do is follow the advice i have seen here and on so many other forums about paws..(all while tapaering off the xanax..which is an added ingredient my body doesn’t need) exercise regularly, eat right (with vits and supps) and get out around people..doing that shortly here..though it is taking EVERY OUNCE of emotional and physical energy to do that..but i know it the right and natural way to begin living again. this time drug free.
god’s with us, people..we just can’t feel him as much as we used to and it will get better. we have to have faith and fake it til we make it if we have to.
pat
I am a 30 yr old mom of 2. Im married and literally lead a normal day to day life- ACCEPT I take an obsene amount of opiates. It started when I had my molars removed when I was 22yr. They gave me vic 5mg. I loved how they made me feel. Calm, relaxed, patient, happy…. Over the years I have consistantly abused whatever what around. Percs, vic, oxy’s…and literally– nobody knows. Its like I have this secret life…and to be honest with you I dont know if I know who I really am anymore. The few times that I have cowgirled up and tried to stop… my emotional and physical state is so bad, that my husband and kids wanna know “whats wrong mama?”.. and i am thrown right back into feeling like I NEED TO BE that calm, relaxed, happy, easy going mom…that everyone thinks I am. So for me, quiting would also mean letting everyone around me down and disappointed.. so which is worse– going through and dealing with withdrawls, or watching the faces of my kiddos and husband as they realize im just not that girl anymore.
I could not find this site again after I posted my first comment. I am the 32 year old mom of 2 who has been detoxing from roxicets! It has been 4weeks now and I am physically over wd but have hit the most awful depression. I wake up terrified! I can’t do much alone and when I do it is like I’m floating. Went to pick my oldest daughter up the other day and left purse in car was gone 2 min and when I got back it was gone! Smashed in the window and stole it:(. Worse thing I had no emotion @ all. Numb! I tried cymbalta for 5 days and was having horrible side effects, signed up for 3 day outpatient counseling left half way through first day cause I couldn’t relate to any of the people. I am afraid:(. I have a super supportive spouse but he has to work and that leaves me here alone all day I have become so isolated:(. I go online a google how long till this ends and ways to cope! Nothing helps.
Dovie please share ur story with me and maybe we can help each other this has been a nightmare for me! I get so scared alone here at my house:(. 4 weeks I’m on and still feels like there is no end in sight for depression!
I am so glad I found your post. I just had hip replacement surgery and for months before hand I took Vicodin intermittently, but after surgery I took it faithfully every 4 hrs for about 10 days. I finally decided to to taper off to see how I was feeling, and I was better. When I finally stopped taking it, about 3 days later I had really bad depression and crying jags. I already take antidepressants, so it floored me that I was like that. My hip was feeling much better and I thought I should be feeling better, too. It took me a couple of days to figure out that it might be from the drugs, and I am so glad to hear that this is probably the reason — I am not alone. I can do this — I will do this — I’ll walk thru it. Thanks so much for your article and everyone’s comments.
PS — I don’t want my comment to seem like I am dismissing any of you who have had addiction and severe withdrawal. I salute you if you even TRY to get off the drugs. I am also an addict, just not a drug addict. So I can relate and feel great compassion for all of you. My little adventure with Vicodin is nothing compared to what some of you are experiencing. Not to dismiss my own experience either, we are all together in this.
This has been the biggest problem for me not the physical w/d its depression and bad anxiety it makes me feel like i’m going crazy its horrible.
When I am taking opiates, I am super person: super wife, super Mom, super nurse, super friend, super dependable church contributer, super neighbor, etc…I love everyone and I am sure they love me. When I have no excuse to be on opiates I am depressed, angry zombie woman, unable to get out of bed most days and completely dissatisfied with life. I am paranoid and sure that people are gossiping about me. I know that I was depressed before I discovered opiates and what they did for me emotionally but it was definately more mild in nature.
Day 6 clean from Norco 10/325mgs. Tapered from 60mgs a day down to 40mg for a month, then in the last three weeks, I’ve tapered down to none. The physical part has been a bit difficult- the aches and pains, the stomach issues etc. But my depression is soooooooooo high. I was using the Norco for chronic neck pain and headaches, but decided that it wasn’t doing it’s job anymore and hampering my life instead. This isn’t my first go-round either. 3 years ago I tapered off of Kadian and Norco, and it was HELL. This withdrawal hasn’t been as hard but I forgot about the mental anguish. I know I need to get back to walking ( did it during my taper but stopped when my med schedule was finished.) Just want support, I feel alone. I’m 32 and married. My husband is aware of my situation but has no clue how it feels. I’ve been having a pity party for one for a while. I have few friends to lean on, so it’s gotta come from within. I do go to therapy, but I feel the need for more… My 5th wedding anniversary is coming up in a month, and my husband and I are supposed to go to Mexico. Tix are booked. I am scared I’ll still be in the depths of despair and the trip will be ruined. HELP. I need to vent. Or maybe help someone else. I am not sure at this point. I just know what I am doing right now isn’t working.
hurt my back 3 years ago, I want to get off the vicodin, but it is really bad, I cry a lot, does that go away. Most people say once its all over (about 2 weeks) you feel so much better, is that true
to Candigirl, I have talked to so many people about this because I am going through it right now. None of them have had the mental issue that you are having, maybe it’s not related to the vicodin. I know how hard it is, but I have to go through it. I have tried to stop before “cold turkey” and the depression was so bad, this time I am weaning off, and going much better with the mental part, still the headache and pain is bad, but realistically, you cant live the rest of your life on vicodin, with in two years you will be up to so many pills a day that you wont be able to afford it, and then getting off will be even harder. I am on Wellbutran this time, seems to be working, but I’m not all the way off yet, so we will see. They should out law that stuff, you get hurt, the doctor puts you on it, and before you know it your body needs it and lets you know about it if you stop taking it, good people get hooked on this stuff, I never got a “high” off of it, just took away my pain, now I think the pain was just my body making pain so I would take it, bad stuff.
down from about 120 mgs a day to about 35 mgs a day, withdrawls have been not that bad, just headache and body ache. I think weaning off is the best way, stopping “cold turkey” did not work for me in the past. Almost one week since I started, I will slow down the weaning now. The doctor should warn you of this before he or she gives it to you. Had I known how quickly you could get dependant on this stuff, I would have done something else for my pain. I have never been a drug taker at all, dont even drink alcohol, dont smoke, nothing like that, I never would let myself do anything that would get me hooked on it, and I end up with this problem, I will BEAT it though, I will not let a pill run or ruin my life, I have a friend who got off it, went through the hell of getting off and one year after, she says it was soooo worth it, she feels much better than when she was on it. We all know how it goes, things are fine until that bottle starts getting low, then its panic time, and everytime you get a new supply, it goes faster than the last. What are you going to do, get up to 100 pills a day? there are people who are, and they do what ever it takes to get those pills, and they started off good normal people who got it prescibed by the doctor, now they are robbing, and all kinds of stuff, you read about it all the time, there was even a police officer who was on the force for 20 years who resorted to robbing a pharmacy of all the vicodin they had, if it can happen to him it can happen to any of us, yeah, I am weaning off and that is it for me.
Morning Folks,
You know I have been comming to this site since May 23, 2009 and I don’t think I ever posted outside of the About thread.
I took my last pill on May 22, 2009
This fact was only possible by listening, posting and walking through the shit.
Adam was a significant impact .
He ushered in the change in my life with this place.
A debt I never can repay.
So I’m just here to encourage everyone.
I was hopeless. Really Hopeless.
Today I am not.
Just facts.
Best of luck.
Took 3-6pills daily for 1&1/2 yrs. Decided to cold turkey and the emotional side is much worse than the physical side. Anxiety, depressed, negative thoughts, feel I look terrible And not wAnting to do my usual daily routines. How long will these feelings last? The physical side is constant fatigue ,restlessness, agitated. I have been clean four days and want to know when I can expect to start feeling myself again. These are very foreign negative things going on in my mind. Is it the withdrawal? And how long will it possibly last? Thanks
Steve, if you are out there, let us know how you are doing. It is 9/16 now and the 12th was your last post. The 4th day was bad for me but the 5th is better and I am seeing joy in some of the stuff I used to enjoy like laying on a raft in my pool and sitting on my front porch picking an occasional weed and drinking coffee which I have not really been into for a while cause i was taking pills and veging….I even noticed this morning the joy of laying on crisp white sheets and pillowcases – i KNOW THAT SOUNDS LAME but just wanted you to know that true joys do emerge. Let us know how you are doing – my thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Hi everyone, I appreciate all of your honest challenges with these pills. I have 45 days clean today. I was taking about 18-25 a day. Detox was horrible but got through it. Now its depression, like i just want to die. its horrible. anyone go through depression after months off the drug? I already take prozac. I would love any suggestions or feedback.
Peace
I’ve been on Fentanyl 100mcg patches and 5mg Oxycodone as needed for severe pelvic pain I’ve had for over 8 years now. I’m physically dependent upon opiates, but never emotionally dependent. Each month, I go through extreme pain fluctuations with my hormonal changes, and there is usually a 7-9 day period of each month when I don’t need any pain meds at all. I’ve been able to successfully stop taking pain meds when I don’t need them without major withdrawal symptoms, but the PAWS I’ve read about on this site gets me almost immediately. I can barely move from my bed to even use the restroom, answer the phone or otherwise maintain my life.
I’ve also been on high doses of Effexor, an SNRI that is used in pain protocols for nerve pain, and just last month, my doctor added Wellbutrin to the mix. I know–sounds like a lot of drugs. BUT, the Wellbutrin acts on Dopamine receptors, the ones that produce euphoria, which opiates act on as well. And for the first time in 8 years, when I go off my Fentanyl patches and Oxycodones for a week or more, I don’t have any of the PAWS depression symtoms. It’s like night and day. I feel pleasure in normal things. I resume my yoga and meditation therapy. I cook and eat. My head is clear. Has anyone else experienced this with Wellbutrin? I am not in a position to stop taking opiates–the pain I experience is still too extreme. (I’m not giving the whole story of multiple surgeries, nerve damage, severe endometriosis and scarring–I’ve had to accept that I have chronic pain that won’t be going away, but can be managed.) Being able to avoid the crushing lethargy/depression is an absolute lifesaver, so for this person, anti-depressants have helped.
Im off! as I wrote in ealier posts, I tapered off slowly, each time I lowered a dose, I had very slight withdrawl symptoms, nothing bad at all, nothing like going CT. I have been off for a month and dont miss it, I do still have my back pain, I am trying other methods for controling pain. I will never touch it again. as for being depressed, I am on welbutran, and that has helped. I wish you all luck, and suggest tapering off, it takes a while but it is almost easy.
Jerry!! Way to go!!!!! It sounds like you’ve slayed the dragon. Congratulations on your accomplishment~~it’s a huge victory!!!
@metoo: I want to thank you for the prayers, they are still very much needed. And when I pray, I pray for all going through the hell that is withdrawal. And btw, I formulated suicide plans when I was on Cymbalta, not Prozac. I just wanted to clear that up. All the antidepressants give me vicious side-effects. I am dealing with the depression on my own. I know with time, it will get better. Thank you “metoo” for being such a positive person for me today. I needed to read your messages – sorry it’s taken me so long to get back.
Peace!
my boyfriend had relapsed back onto oxys, a couple of weeks ago. He’s been clean a couple of days now, and more angry then I have ever seen him. All he wants to do is be left alone, Im scared to leave him alone though. He means the world to me, and I do not know what to do?…
Chastity: just leave him alone. He wants to go through the hell of withdrawal and not subject you to the effects of it. It won’t last. He’ll come out of his shell, soon. Just let him be until then. Peace.
Jules!!! How are you doing????? Please let us know~I have missed you!! (Oh, and can I stop praying yet???? LOL!! Knees are gettin’ a lil sore over here…lol) …we posted back in April…it’s October now…
Hey, Chastity…I think Jules is right on this one. Give him space, give him time. When you’re concerned, just pray for him. That’s all you can really do…but please let us know how he’s doing too!
Prayers going out for all of us affected by stupid white pills.
I have been in need of some support. I’ve been clean 4 days now and the mental problems are worse than the physical. I am extremely depressed. I have this borrible empty feeling and can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything! I’ve been taking heavy doses of vics and percs as often as possible for the past 3 years. I’ve finally had enough. I used to be such a happy fun loving person and now I’m this horrible depressed person. I don’t even want to leave me bed without knowing I have pills. This is the devil. I can’t snap out of it. I started taking them recreationally for the upper and euphoria they caused and now I just want to be myself again. I want this depression to end! Is there any hope??
I was prescribed vicoden ten years ago for a kidney stone and I loved them. Now ten years later I am taking 10-15 a day. I have gone through detox on my own so many times I can’t even count. I always go back to pills when the depression sets in. That is where I am at now, I am on day 35 of my detox and have hit the big black cloud of depression. I have no motivation to even get out of bed, I feel wierd around friend and family because none of them know about my addiction. Everytime one of them even mentions pain medication it makes me want to go and search there cabinents, so I don’t even want to be around them right now. I just want to know if the craving and the depression will ever go away? I have never told anyone about this, but when I saw all of the comments on this site, I knew this was the right spot for me.
I am in a very dark place right now, I have been clean for 45 days now and it is killing me. You would think that it would get easier, but I think as I get clean the craving grows stronger. I think now that I have a clear head the depression sets in that I don’t have the drug anymore and I start thinking about it. It seems like right now anytime that I start to feel happy about something for some reason it makes me think about the drug, because for such a long time the drug is all that made me happy. It has just been a rough week, I know so many people that have pills and I could go make my rounds and get them, but I don’t want them. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I know that this is going to be a life long issue, but I feel like I need to talk about it, so hear I am rambling on and on, but it feals good just to put my feelings into words.
Hey, Angela!!! CONGRATULATIONS on 45 days!!!! It’s time to get happy, girl!!! Look at you!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!
I know exactly how you are feeling~~I’ve been there too. But, now is the time for you to delve into something ELSE. Find your passion. Do something you LOVE. You have beaten the heck outta these pills, and you are FREE. Don’t let anything suck you back in. You are far too beautiful to fall into that old trap.
You should hop on over to the “about” thread, and stay clean with me and Joe…we’ve got some other friends over there too at various stages of this addiction…but we are all walking the same path. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS, and there is strength in numbers. Come on over. The water’s great!!!
Thanks for this post. I have quit taking opiates after 12 years of addiction. I never really tried to quit until now. I got on Suboxone before I just quit cold turkey. I don’t know if it helped or hurt. I know that I have made up my mind that I am quitting though if it puts me in the grave. On one hand I feel a lot better about myself for toughing this out as long as I have. The last three weeks have seemed like an eternity. I completely underestimated the depression though. This is awful. I literally get nautious when my screen saver flashes a picture of myself. I literally make myself sick. I hate my guts! However, reading this post and others like it, make me feel a little better. I now can tell myself “My mind has turned against me” and try to mentally navigate myself through this. I also am gonna start working out again. I just wanted to tell you thank you, and I hope very soon I can help others going through this.
That’s the spirit, Matt!!!! Keep toughing it out, and KNOW that you are not alone!!! I know exactly what you mean about the depression, and you being so sick of “you” that you make yourself sick. Oh, my friend, I HAVE BEEN THERE!!! But! You are making a little more progress every day, and you WILL get there. One day at a time, your depression will go away. You starting to work out again will surely speed things up.
Keep up the great work. I am thinking that kicking this is the hardest thing any of us will ever do. To help someone else going through it is what it’s all about, I think.
Hey, Matt, you COULD change your screensaver too!!
Hey Matt,
I am right there with Metoo, especially the part about getting rid of your screen saver pix. Just look to today, one day at a time and then tomorrow is a new day.
I work out just about every morning and I use that time to get in touch with my body, my strengths and my weaknesses, how much I can and can not do. Everyday is different, some days I feel I can conquer the world and other days I am lucky to a few small sets, or maybe 1/2 mile on the treadmill.
The one thing I take away from every work out is that I am doing the best I can to become sober and to start feeling good about myself again.
I will be here praying for you, God has plans for you otherwise you wouldn’t care less!!
Good luck at the gym my friend!
sm
DAY 1
I also just came across this site and am very encouraged by it. I have been taking pills for about a year off and on and have w/d once befoe but was out of work and living in an isolated place alone a lot of the time, I relapsed. I have tried the ween schedule and honelsty just cannot stand it anymore. The pills are are too accessible for me. Anyway I have somw time off work and have set aside tomorrow as my first w/d of 7 before the holidays. I found the Thomas recipe and think it will help, thank you thomas. Also glad to read the posts about Post depression because that is really tough and the part I am most scared for, I can’t wait to wake up again and be the person I was before this all started. I know it will be a tough struggle, but here goes, glad I found a place for support.
I got started on Norco (hydrocodone) after major back surgery three months ago. I had already overcome an addiction problem in my past, but the extent of my surgery left me no choice but to try and take the pain pills responsibly. I also had soma and percocet. Needless to say I did not take them responsibly and when I had used them all up, and knew my back was healed for the most part, I just quit them. Within 24 hours, I was vomiting, nauseous, had diarrhea, restless leg, insomnia, excessive sweating and clamminess. All of this lasted over a week. Once that subsided I delved into one of the deepest depressions of my life. I have returned to work and I’m just now coming out of the clear. Each day I wonder, would I pop a few right now if someone put them in front of me? One day at a time. Good luck to everyone.
i have been using vics steadily for about 3 yrs….a friend introduced me to them…for the high…..wow…..great ride….but like all good things, it must end…..been livving life fast and furious…before the vics it was alcohol and steroids….i found that using the substances was only masking alot of deep emotional scarring from childhood….i am clean 21 days….depression has set in….im in a very dark place..frozen with guilty thoughts. paralyzed with emptiness…..but….it will pass…..i see a counselor…..got celexa, a anti deprseeant recommended by a co worker…..my wife is very supportive and knows what i have done and am going through….i think all of us that abuse the opiates are masking something emotional…some sort of scarring in the past and the susbstances help us to forget about the issues that we should be facing….i went cold turkey this time around….there have been many attempts….none succesful….anyway…..this time i stopped and went into a frenzy at the gym and at work…..i kicked ass at work and kicked ass at the gym…..i was running full steam ahead and thought i had this demon beat….but…he caught up to me and pulled me back down into the dark depths….alone…..scared…..off guard….off balance….scary shit man…scary shit…..i am not going back….i will continue to fight…..my family needs me…..i have a son 14 year old and a caring beautiful 39 yr old wife….im 36…proffessional…….modern day “dark Knight” where i work. it is a process that we all must go through…it depends on how bad we want to be clean….i want it…real bad and i feel that i will be successful with the journey…its tough work….real tough….one of the most challenging things i have ever been through….at the end of the challenge there is reward…fullfillment…accomplishment….lets do it! destroy the demon! send him back where he comes from never to be seen again! Dark Knight
I was on Vicodin from March till December last year thru surgery and then a broken leg. I heard often about addiction but never heard about the long term withdrawal. I am in the midst of the worst depression I have ever known, constantly thinking about how to end the misery and why am I still here. I just last week broke down and called a doctor to see if I can figure out what is going on. I told my husband and together we discussed and figured out that this slide started in December around the time I wrapped up Physical Therapy and went off the pain meeds. For weeks now I’ve been feeling like no one could possibly understand this out of body type depression, the exhaustion, the lack of concentration, irritability. I thought I was losing my mind. Then my husband found this web site and it all seemed to fit. Not having a reason for my depression had made it even harder to understand and reach out to others. My life on the surface is good, better than it has been in years, but I still found myself lashing out at people and wanting to take a bottle of vodka and a bottle of pills to a beautiful high rock cliff and let it all go. I am so glad we found this site. Now my husband doesn’t let me go anywhere alone and he’s taken away all the pills I thought I would use to OD. It’s only been 4 days since he found out and since we found out about PAWS. I hope that this is the answer because it would mean I’m not crazy. I’m nervous about going to see my family doctor, worried he will lock me in a rubber room. I want my life back. I want to be able to sleep and work and live without this subconscious push to end my life, without the mood swings and clouded mind. I have always been sensitive to meeds and an extremely sensitive emotional person so I hope that I can find an answer that does not require more meeds.
PA,
First, welcome and I am so glad you found this site. It has been my salvation since I stopped taking vicodin and oxycontin the first of January. I was like you, feeling hopeless and wanting to end it all with one last bottle, but thank god I found this place. I spent half the day reading on the About page of others who were suffering like me and those that finally chose the path to getting clean once and for all. Some made it while others fell off the horse and had to get back on again. Without the help and guidance of these people I would not be making it now. It has been only 41 days for me off the pills, but it is possible.
Depression,no sleep, anxiety, all part of the process and there is no getting past it, it is part of the process unfortunately. I tried the Thomas recipie on this page and it helped me tremendously with the no energy part. I did not want to take any other drugs to help with sleep as I did not want to come off those either so I took a benadryl and melatonin to help me sleep. It didn’t kick in until the tenth day. Yes, I was exhausted and the anxiety was terrible. What I did was get on the About page here and to my complete surprise and happiness had brothers and sisters in this terrible addiction help me through each hour and day with loving support. I am not a meeting person so this was a godsend to me. Their words got me through so much I can’t begin to tell you.
It does get better and as a long time addict with a lot of surgeries and health problems (I got on pain meds due to several surgeries in a lot of years) it was through the support of these people and my wonderful boyfriend of 16 years supporting me that keeps me going.
Yes, I have my moments of wanting to use, but everyone does. I read somewhere “A thought is a thought and a thought can be changed” and I live by that now. Walk, read, do housework, call a friend, go for a drive, anything that will disrupt your chain of wanting a pill or ten as in my case.
You can do it!! Please, visit the about section on here and find a wonderful group of people who I now consider friends who will help you when you think no one can.
I wish you the best and hang in there!!!
Lori
Yes, PA, you are OK!! You are normal….this is PAWS. In reading what you’ve written, I believe that THAT is the thought for you to hold on to~~”I AM NORMAL”. No rubber room for you, PA. Time is the only thing that will help this condition, along with distracting yourself when you have the craving for a pill. As each day passes, you will feel more light!! But it’s going to take time.
It will be spring soon, and you will be free this spring!!! Maybe you could plan some things to look forward to, such as gardening, or just taking walks, ANYTHING that will take your mind out of the state (not PA, lol…) of mind you are in.
And, the other good news is that we are all here to help you! You will get there!!!!
PA – Everthing Lori and MeToo says is right on spot, my friend. This depression will pass and you will fimd your true self hiding in there somewhere. My biggest feal in becoming clean was who I would be after I did no longer have the pills to get me to leave the house, to allow me to get through the work day, the grocery store, the family gathering. But there is certainly a life after pills – Please know we are praying for you and each day will get a little better, a little brighter, a little happier as you return to a new kind of normal. I am here for you my friend. Please keep posting , reading, and praying. It just might be your saving GraCE.
Love You my friends
Kitty
Lori is right we do hang on the “about” page alot – so get on over there first chance you get…lol
Kitty
Thank you all for your feedback and support. I have been taking it one hour at a time. I don’t often desire the pills, never really liked the way they made me feel. I’ve never considered myself a weak person with all of the things I’ve had to overcome, but I have always faced these things alone. Now, facing this, every hour that passes I feel like the fact that I am still alive is it’s own success. I have been having anxiety attacks and chest pains and not dealing well with stressful situations but I’m starting to believe I might get thru this. I’m embarrassed still for all the reaching out I’ve done that went unanswered. But here with total strangers I’ve found support and hope. I am a 38 year old woman with fibromyalgia, sleep apnea and a chronic tendency to get injured. I came from an abusive childhood, raised by a delusional person who never knew how to give support. Of all the situations I’ve ever faced with all of the pain and turmoil in my life I have never felt as desperate as these past few days. Thank you again for your support. You are doing an amazing thing here. Being strong for yourself is one thing but letting others see your weakness so you can be strong for them too is just incredible.
PA,
I am so happy you keep checking on this site. Believe me when I tell you we are all so happy to hear that you are making it through. I know exactly how you feel!! Every hour felt like a day, but the further away I am the better it gets.
Don’t ever be embarrased please. I think a lot of those who are on here are strong folks too, but being human things definitely happen. Please continue to post because you will find, everyone here wants you to be ok and we really do care because we understand exactly where you are. Even though the stories of how we came to be here are different, one thing is the same,
THESE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU!!
We want and need you here PA!
Lori
I’m on day 14 clean, though I was never an addict haha. recreational drug user. i use to binge for a week or two then withdrawl for a few days and it was all worth it to me. Hadn’t done it in awhile.. my last and i mean LAST binge lasted about 2 weeks.. vicodin/oxycontin/morphine. the withdrawls were killer, especially the depression. i can deal with aches and pains and chills and sweats and anxiety but i CANNOT deal with the depression.. I wanted to write in and tell anyone who is going through withdrawl depression that there is a product called SAMe that has really helped me.. i took 2 400mg tablets a day and everyday seemed so much easier than the withdrawls i have done before.. my depression use to last WEEKS after withdrawls, and this time, just 2 weeks later, i can say that I’m over it. I’m feeling great and opiates will never come back into my life. SAMe can be bought in any drug store and possibly pharmacies. do some research.
Hey Chase – welcome to the board and congrats on 14 days. Yeah, SamE worked for me also along with the other ingrediants on the thomas recipe. I don’ think I could have done it without those daily supplements. Did not have much depression until months later – and then it is sporatic. It can be done, as painful as it might seem at the time, withdrawals DONOT last forever, Your real self come out at some point in time and it gets easier – with a little help from GOD and friends on this board.
Thanks for joining us Chase and come back often. The new folks just starting detox need people like you to hng around.
Love
Kitty
5 months clean on Feb 8!
Wow! I’m so grateful to have found this site. I’ve been on opiates since I was 13, originally for endometriosis. had to take a few days a month and never abused them until I was given Vicodin at age 30. Since then, it’s been 20 years of fighting this hideous addiction. I’ve done horrible things to get hydrocodone–forged prescriptions, spent thousands on internet drugs, when they were available, doctor shopped and recently moved to new orleans, (5 months) and found out how to buy illegally on the street. Got introduced to Roxy’s and that has been my downfall. over the years I’ve tried to stop many, many times. I was a highly functional addict. i’ve always suffered from depression and have been on many different antidepressants but vicodin helps me function to my highest capacity. i was the “perfect’ everything on it. Straight A’s in nursing school, team mom, pta, etc…but when I don’t have them I am numb, depressed, and have seriously contemplated suicide many times. It wasn’t until i read these posts that I had any idea the depression may be from the drugs more so than physiological. I have had some brief periods, 2-3 months, when i’ve managed to stay clean and can honestly say I felt fantastic but that was several years ago. I have pain issues fibromyalgia, inflammatory arthritis I developed after cancer treatment, and a severe back injury from 1999 when I fractured a vertebrae in my back that has left me with osteoarthritis. I sought treatment for my addiction when I was 31, have spent over $100,000 on treatment and therapy, all initiated on my own because i couldn’t stand myself. I’ve never suffered any consequences from my drug use and no one knew until i told them about it. I also have addison’s disease which was undiagnosed until last year and I was so lethargic and would pass out. I’m on replacement steroids and have eaked it out and after a year on my couch in california, vowed that by my 50th b-day, i would stop this madness or kill myself. I managed to clear up the chaos of ignoring everything in my life, bills, taxes, etc… and move to new orleans, where i’m enrolled in a nursing refresher program. i’m a licensed rn and there are no jobs in cali. i’m amost done with my 6 month online theory part of my training and will soon be doing an 80 hr preceptorship. my problem is, though i managed to get moved out hear, i know no one and have spent days and weeks on my couch watching tv, trying to not use but the depression is so severe, i break down and get roxy’s and 10 norco and then i can function, do my schoolwork, etc.. get 100% on all my assignments. obviously i can’t be a nurse taking these drugs and don’t want to. i just cant deal with the depression. i never have withdrawals because i taper of with ultram which works on the opiate receptors. i am too smart for my own good. i even cheated the drug tests successfully when i went into tx and requested random drug testing. i cant live with myself anymore. i can’t afford to keep buying these illegal drugs and don’t want to but cant bear the depression without them. i was diagnosed 5 yrs ago with bipolar disorder and prescribed meds. i stopped using, felt great, and eventually went off all meds and have been on no psych drugs for several years. a couple months ago, i sought tx for the depression thinking it was the bipolar depression that was the problem. i went on zoloft. when i used on zoloft, the opiates were barely effective which was great! i was still using but managed to get off them. 11 days ago i stopped. two days later i couldn’t sleep for 5 days straight. i felt like i was on speed-jittery and buzzing. i took trazadone the past couple nights and was able to get some sleep. i called a specialist in addiction and bipolar but he can’t get me in for two weeks. i broke down yesterday and got more 70 10mg lortabs. i’m also set to get a bunch of roxy’s next week. one last time right? i was so disgusted at this decision after 10 days clean i started looking at the link between depression and withdrawal from opiates and stumbled onto this page. what a godsend. if any of you have any input about the depression, how long it might last, etc… that would be great. my pscyh appt is in 2 weeks. if i knew the depression might be from withdrawal, perhaps i would have eaked it out longer but haven’t made it past a week or two. besides a few couple month stints, i’ve done this yo yo binge using for a number of years now. after reading your posts, i am fighting with all my stregth to not get those 160 30mg roxy’s lined up for me next week. i have money, which is another problem. i come up against the choice of suicidal depression or using. i went off the zoloft b/c the psych said i should d/c until he can assess me and get me on a mood stabilizer. once i didn’t sleep 9 days on a different antidepressant. my issue is …what is the depression from. opiate withdrawal or organic mental illness? please, please, please help me.
Hey everyone my name is Phil and ive been taking about 100-120mg a day for about a year now and have drastically afftected my families life, I have to take them to do anything and didn’t wanna be around my family when I’m on them. I finally said enough is enough and made a promise to myself to be there for them. I quite 2 days ago and not too bad so far, I got a couple of Xanax and just take them to sleep and get rid of the anxious feelIngs, I’ve made my self get out and about which does help. I don’t know if anyone would agree with my methods but I also got some addarals for when I have no energy cause there’s too much goin on in my life to just sleep 24/7 but it’s only the 2nd day so I know it’s gonna get worse, does anyone know the average time needed to get over the initial withdraw feelings cause I and pretty sound mind and have a big family to help with the depression I just can’t let them know about the addiction. Everyone on here is awesome and dont ever forget it, I’ve been hooked on alot of street drugs but this is the only one that I couldn’t just quite I had to get help, and this website has made all the difference, it’s always nice to know that ur not alone, I wish the best to everyone on here, we can make it, if we couldn’t, we wouldnt be searching for help. Stay strong, because all of u are my strength.
I have been taking opiates off and on for the past year. It all started when I had one of my wisdom teeth removed. I took the pills as described and had no problems. The craving for the “high” wasn’t too strong but did stay in the back of my mind.
Time passed and I was able to get a hold of 30 Generic percocets (Watson 10/325) I don’t think I was taking them longer than 2 weeks. At first I’d only take half of the pill but towards the end I was taking the whole pill every 4 hours.
The last day I took it I had drank a couple of beers with dinner then went with my wife to see a movie. I was fine. Then I went home, took another pill and played online poker. I stayed up really late. At 6 am I took another pill and at 11 am when I went to go to sleep I think I had a panic attack. I felt like my breathing was labored and I was anxious and scared. I was able to eventually fall asleep.
When I woke up at first I seemed better but within minutes I began to feel anxoius, depressed, and very fearful. I went to the ER and the doctor told me that it seems to be withdrawal. Could withdrawal start after only 5 hours of not taking the pill? I had gone longer without any problems (like when I went to sleep for 8 hours).
It has been about 64 hours since this nightmare began. I still feel what is best described as very intense depression. I have been depressed before but I don’t remember ever feeling what I am feeling now. It really really hurts. Its like this tightness on my chess and in my gut. I manage to fall alseep, have wierd dreams and then wake up to this horrible feeling of depression.
I am a christian but I have obviously fallen away from God. I stopped reading my bible, almost never prayed. I now have returned to God, praying my heart out. Maybe God is allowing me to go through this because he so desperately wants me back.
I’ve been praying a lot. I went to church on Tuesday and it felt good to worship God. I have been watching a lot of TBN and it does help. I have also been reading my bible a lot. Psalms is a great book for encouragement. I really like Psalms 27 and many many others.
I don’t think I’m really having any other symptoms. I didn’t have diarrhea. Is it still ppssible that this is in fact withdrawal? Why did the depression set in so fast?
By the way I wanted to thank everyone who has posted here. It really does help to read what you have faced and even better, what you have overcome. I really hope that I can come on here very soon and say that the storm is over. I really hope and pray that I will be able to give hope to someone else going through this unbearable suffering.
It hurts so much more when I look at my young daughter and my loving wife and feel like I’ve let them down. I want to make it up to them more than anything. I want this to be the storm in my life that got me to turn back to God and to live for him.
It kind of reminds me of Jonah and the Whale (fish). He was running from God, like I was, and he went through a storm and was swallowed up by a fish. That could not have been pleasant at all. Now the only thing is I crying out to God, and I know that he has forgiven me, but he hasn’t taken me out of this suffering. I will just continue to trust in Him and know that my life is now in his hands. Because of Jesus Christ I am forgiven. God is always on time. I just wish that time was now. My friend, a pastor at my church told me yesaterday that pain was a way to let your body remember not to do things that will hurt it. If you touch a hot surface it will hurt, you will be burned. Sometimes the pain last a little while while you heal. I suppose this depression is like the pain. I just pray and have faith that it will subside and be replaced by the joy of the lord.
This song has helped a lot “Trading My Sorrows” by Darrell Evans
Adam,
Please write me back when you read this. Ive been totally off everything for 14 days and the only around is the sever e depression? Is this normal? It comes in big waves, like every other day. Do you know what im talking about? please help
I am a 27 yr old female I started taking vikes about 2-3 yrs ago right after my mother died, I get migraines all the time have since I was 13 and I also have arthritis in my shoulder which Im sure contributes to migraines, also have very heavy periods but can not take birth control due to factor 5 lieden which is a blod clotting disorder. I also have anxiety and depression really bad!!! I am on Pristiq and xanax but funny I could care less about the xanax all I want are the vikes. My doctor prescribes me 100 per month and each month now I’m going through them quicker and quicker This time I went through all 100 in 2 weeks. Today is my first day without any and I feel terribble should I go see my doctor or shrink for this?
DDoubles,
The depression for me was really the worse. I know exactly what you mean. Just trust that it gets better. Know that sometimes when we face really tough times, something good can come out of it.
God is the only way out. It can be hard to admit, but we just can not do it on our own. If you’ve been going against God, now is the time to draw near to him. God loves us and wants only the best for us. He’s got better plans for your life. Embrace God. Rededicate your life to Jesus Christ.
Tony, Ive been going to church every sunday and praying every day. The praying helps but when I go to church I feel worse about my self. This sucks I want my life back and I want my brain to stop having rapid thoughts!
Hang in the DD it gets better – it really does – When I see your posts – those of you just struggling to get off, it makes chills run up and down my spine….but I am at 7 months now and all of that – I mean all – is gone and I am as normal as I have ever been and am not looking back – you see – I am an addict. I can not just take an occasional pill – I would want more and the search would be on again to find a doctor that would prescribe some – and would go to an means to get one. 120 were lasting me 10 days – so I would need 3 scripts per month of 120 to last me the month and inbetween doses, my body would be crying out for more. So, I thank you DD, Tony, Stacy, and all other new posters. If it were not for your posts, I would think – Oh, I can take one pill – what the hell is one pills going to do….No, one pill is too many, and 1000 pills are not enough. God bless you folks and the best of luck getting through your recoveries – you can do it – and you will be that much better afterward…Love
Kitty
Been there and just kicked. I know it’s adding another chemical, but if you can work with a sympathetic psych, get a script for clonadine. 1 to 2 up to 2x per day for the first 5 days while you kick. Don’t plan on doing anything because it is heavy sedation, but your body will detox the vic. You will not suffer withdrawal as heavily. DO NOT overuse the clonidine or you are just back on something else to kick. In moderation it can be a huge help as you work vic out of your system. Good luck. Worked for me.
Anybody
I hope this is still checked on often because i don’t know where else to go, or who else to talk to. It’s such a taboo issue to talk about unless it’s with someone who has been through the same thing. This is probably the first time i have reached out and relized i really really need help. I have been trying to quit for awhile. I am 21, going on 22 in september. I have quit 2 (short)times before once when i was 17 and once again when i wasd 19. I am really hoping “third times the charm”
i started taking percocet again about a year and a half to 2 years ago. I got them for free so it was just so easy to obtain a good feeling. After my supply ran dry I started doing something terrible. My dad has cystic fibrosis, pancreantitis(pardon the spelling), and emphyzema. He is prescribed Percocet 10s endocet10s and morphine sulfate 60s and morphine 60 ext. release. I began taking them from him. Eventually i found a few new places to get them. My tolarance started to get way to high. 10-15 perc tens a day. So ibegan snorting them….BIG MISTAKE! Thats when i relalized i really had a problem. I tried cold turkey a few months back and it didnt work. I began medicating again.
There were times when percocets wernt around so i would buy as many vike 750s or 500s i could get and chew up 10 at atime 2-3 times a day. Not only was i wasting all my money but i was destroying my liver, my relationship with my family,and everything around me.
I have been working on quitting for about 2 and a half weeks. I
would take a couple percs and then tuff out the next 2-3 days without anything. Then id do it again. Recently i took 2 and a half Opana 10s yesterday, and nothing today. It doesntreally seem like I am getting anybetter. The depression and lack of energy and motivation is, well, depressing! I’ve been trying to smoke weed to calm it but it doesn’t really help. I’m just afraid i will never be back to normal. I cant remember the last time i was genuinely happy without the pills. Will i ever be normal and happy again?
James,
I hope you check back. I had a 50-60MG a day vicodin problem for 2 years and have been on off for 5 years. I was so desperate I got my wife involved to try and taper. It just never worked for me. Everytime we would begin reducing my amount I would feel crappy and just get more behind her back. She would say “your really doing good” but I knew better.
I quit cold turkey 14 days ago. The first few days physically were rough but by the 3rd day I physically felt better. There has been an emotional toll as well with some bad depression. I am taking wellbutrin and I think it helps.
Lastly I would like to say. DO NOT beat yourself up for what you have done IN THE PAST. Look forward to what you will accomplish inthe FUTURE. You are young and have a whole new life waiting for you and I absolutley believe you will look back some day and think “huh what a waste” . You just need to take the first step which of course is the hardest. Good Luck
I’ve been taking vics on and off for about a year. I started soma about a month ago and had what seemed like seizures. I immediately stopped taking both drugs (5 days) agoand have had horrible withdrawal st symptoms. Hot flashes, warm feelings, but the worst is the mental. I’ve been depressed, feeling like I’m not myself, like I’m crazy, even passing thoughts of hurting myself….this is not me…when will I feel like myself again? In normally happy…will I feel that way again? Thanks
Everyone, I just read all your noted. I’m on day 10 of no Norco. Was on it for 5 year after a fall. I got off of it the first time and after 3 weeks, I broke my arm. I told the ER doc I had trouble with norco in the past, still they gave it to me. So again, on day 10 and soooo much depression all I do is stay in bed or cry. I didn’t remember this much depression the first time I got off. When will this all end? I know my life is important.
I posted five days ago….haven’t taken any in 12 days…I’m feeling almost completely back to myself. There are times I have quick episodes with depression or not feeling myself, but I try to give in and feel what I’m feeling at that time. Good luck to everyone!
Monkan and anyone else on here posting lately – Most of us hang out on the ‘about page’ and sometimes miss the posts on other pages on this site…if you jump over there and post next time – there will be people to write back and encourage you. I hope you cotinue your journey and stay off the pills – we have all been through it and want to hear about your experience and perhaps help you with ours.
God Bless you
Kitty
To get to the about page either click on one of the most current posts on the right hand side or clock on the “about” page on the left hand side – hope to see you all over there and sorry if we missed your posts – sometimes that happens through no fault of our own…Bless You
I am 22 and I was taking around 2-3, 10/325 norcos for 2-3 years, have been off of them for almost 3 1/2 weeks now, the initial withdrawals came on in about 5 hours and were hell, diarrhea constantly, fatigue, malaise, cold sweats, hot flashes, body tremors, severe anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, no appetite, You name it I had it. I started feeling better after around 14 days. I thought those symptoms would never end. Tried everything to make it better vitamins, L-tyrosine, smoking weed, Xanax, it got me through it though, and just when I thought I was past it all, the severe depression and anxiety and panic attacks set in, that is what I’m going through right now, I have no energy and no motivation to do anything, I just feel like laying in bed all day, have to force myself to get up and do something, I don’t feel normal, should I try an anti depressant? Sometimes the depression and anxiety are so bad that I just think well maybe I should just take some more opiates and deal with this at a later date. I want to be able to function again and go about my day and have a normal life. I just don’t see a light at the end of this dark hole of a depression I am in right now, can anyone help?
Hello Mel.
Trust me, the last thing you want to do is use again. I did and it magnified the misery ten fold….even while using again. I’m on day 6 of my third detox. I’ve had the ups and the downs and will hand in there thru it all because I know that it gets better. Go over to the “about” page and read some of the success stories….IT DOES GET BETTER!! Also, most of us hang out on the “about” page and sometimes we miss posts over here. PLEASE, PLEASE, STICK WITH THIS. I will be praying for you. I’m not minimizing your struggle because I”m right there with ya but you have say, “NO Pills, Just for Today” and remember that “It’s ok to not feel ok”.
How do I get to the about page? Every morning when I wake up I feel super anxious and my heart starts pounding, idk why… Could it be because I used to wake up and take a vike? I feel like this depression is just consuming me and taking over me. I thought I was in the clear after the initial withdrawals but I was sooo wrong. I didn’t think this would be so hard. I am trying with all my will power to fight through this but I just literally have no energy or motivation to do anything. I feel so weak yet strong willed at heart. I just want this misery to end. I look around outside at everyone and they are normal happy and just going about their day, I get so depressed seing people function normally and I just want to be like them. Even watching tv makes me depressed. I hate myself for ever getting started with these pills and I feel like a horrible person. I didn’t think it would ever cause such a problem like this…
Mel, I felt the same way my second detox, exactly, so I understand. But try this, give yourself permission to feel anxious, depressed, and any other feelings you may have. Just doing that for me was huge. Know that this will pass, it will, and until then you are going to have aweful feelings of despair and you have to have the mindset that you will sit back and ride it out because in the end it will be worth it. What you are feeling is normal and probably unavoidable, so just go with it for now. I have been forcing myself to exercise….that has helped. If you become too depressed and hopeless please reach out to a professional for help.
To get to the “about” page, when you are on the home page, look to your left and it’s there, or look to your right where it shows the last 4 or 5 people who have posted and it is usually an “about” person posting.
Hang in there and do whatever it takes. Pinkerton
Hey, mel….the depression IS the worst part. Ok…so you have the RIGHT to feel depressed. It WILL get better!!! Rumor has it that FISH OIL will help. It’s supposed to be good for all things emotional!! Try it….and remember, you’re in rough shape now, but THIS TOO SHALL PASS. We are all with you!!!!! Keep hanging in there!!!!!
Hey Mel
Welcome to the site. The most important things we can tell you is – it gets better. Time seems to creep along during detox and your mind keeps telling you that you will feel better by taking a pill. DO NOT LISTEN to your addictive mind telling you this. It lies. Your body and your mind are healing and it takes time. You relied on the pills to get off your rump to do things and now your mind and body do not want to do things. Good News and all our little group that are in various stages of detox will tell you the same exact thing….brother (or sister) it WILL get better and you will not feel this way forever. Now I was on zoloft during my detox so I think I did not suffer as much with the anxiety. If you start feeling helpless, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek help from a doctor. Detox is harder on some folks than others and you may need some medication or professional help. Also, it helps to be in a support group like here – I would not have been able to do it without the folks on here…like Pinkerton says, click on the about page of this site so that we can check on you….sometimes posts get by us over on the other pages.
Please post again….it is a two edged sword….you help us and we help you.
Take care and I sincerely hope things improve for you.
Praying for you Mel.
Love
Kitty
Been taking vicodin everyday for about 3 1/2 months and quit cold turkey Saturday July 2. Day 5 and everyday is getting better…I think. Day 1 was a physical day of severe headaches and diaherria. Days 2, 3, 4, and 5 still nagging headaches but I was not prepared for the mental withdrawals. I feel a little depressed and I am wondering if this goes away.
Getting out has really made me get over these bouts of depression. Just walking on a summer day makes me feel a little bit better. In fact, I see myself being more outgoing because I want this depression to go away. Who knows, maybe things happen for a reason.
Hello all….
I’ve been taking vicodin for about 7 months now,..I only take about 3 pills a day,…but I want to stop. In the morning I am a monster if I don’t have one. My wife takes them too, but she isn’t as dependent of them as I am. I get mad at everything. I wish I could just feel happy without anything. I have no pain, so no real reason to take them. I really want to quit, but I don’t like it when I’m a jerk and my wife gets upset, cause I get down. I wish I would have never started taking this crap.
Reese
if you are still out there; there are a ton of us on the “about” page who will walk you through your detox. sorry we missed your post and hope you find your way to us!! YOU CAN do this and we will support you through it and answer your questions. yes you are gonna be an ass for a couple weeks; but it gets better i promise!! i am 65 days today and was taking ummm about 8 times the amount you are taking (not to minimize your situtaion) but it can be done and you will feeel much better!!! hope your still out there and once again sorry we missed ya!! find the “about” page!!
I took 8-10 vicodin/day for about 3 years, slowly building up my tolerance for it. I was forced to quit cold turkey about 2 weeks ago when my husband found out. We have a 3 year old daughter so of course I understand his concern. But I really feel that I was a better mother and wife while taking this drug. It gave me energy, made me happy, etc. The glorious feelings that all of you on here are aware of. My question is this: what’s wrong with continuing to take this drug if it makes life so much better?
Laurie,
First of all, congratulations on two weeks! That’s a big deal because it’s not easy to stop. But I asked that same question. I am a single mother of two boys and I felt it made me a better mother because I had more patience, was more laid back, had more energy. I quit was for several reasons. First, my source was unreliable and I never knew when and if he was going to come thru for me that month and that stressed me out. Second, the money. Third, my concerns over my health (liver, kidneys) and Finally and most important …. I was building my tolerance up so what I took no longer gave me the high I desired and the energy I needed, just the opposite in fact. I was very tired all the time. I didn’t have the money or the source to get more pills or I probably would have considered…no wait…I would have bought more. Now that I am no longer taking the vics I realize how numb I’ve been emotionally and how I used them to avoid anything hard in my life. I gained alot of weight and stopped exercising because I didn’t care. I didn’t even know myself anymore. All I thought about were the pills. So my answer is that for me the amount I took wasn’t enough and I was starting that downward spiral towards self-destruction. Our kids deserve a mom that will remember their childhood and I guarantee you wouldn’t if you continued to use. Think about this, what would you say to an alcoholic if they asked the same question? You did the right thing, it will just take time to forget the euphoric feelings the pills gave you…just remember, they weren’t reality, they created a false world of smoke and mirrors.
If you ever want to talk more there is a page on this site called the “about” page where alot of people hang out.
Best of luck to you.
Pinkerton
i used to take as many as 30 tens a day for over three years ive been clean now for a year till last week i relapsed an ook like 25 tens now im going thru the withdrawels again i did it once on my on an plann on doin it again its hard but im just to about lose the love of my life and im in deep depression now but im fighting the temptation of goin back down that rd again
I started with Pills would get 240 30mg roxis a month these would last 10-14 days this is when I’d shoot heroin and throw 10 Xanax a day on top I’ve overdosed 3 times that I can remember been shot with narcan when I stopped breathing wrecked my car got fired got arrested while attempting to goto rehab now I’ve been out of rehab for 3 days and I’m just getting fed up with this bullshit existence I’m deffinatly very depressed I don’t feel like getting out of bed I have almost 3 weeks clean but feel like using constantly sucks it’s like can’t live with it don’t feel like living without it
Just joining in…
Can someone comment on if the depression subsides. I have a loved one that is just beiginnng detox after 10 years of 10-20 pills a day. He is fearful of the depressiona nd anxiety…I am very scared too.
Suboxone
i have been on and off vics for years you need to get some Suboxone and take 2mil a day 1/4 of a pill .pills are 8mg but hears the catch DO NOT take it more than 5 days ..then maybe just once or twice a week and bam your done in 2 to 3 weeks ….trouble is once you feel better and somthing goes wrong in your life bam your back on them …i hope this is my last time .im going to try the gym this time..and you need to learn what your trigers are..i hope they stop making them soon good luck
ps dont get in a Suboxone progam ,they had me hooker for a year on that stuff and you think vic are hard to get off of YOU HAVE NO IDEA
I want to thank everyone here. You people, and the people at meetings, give me the strength I need.
I’v got 50 hours since my last dose of Hydro. I’ve been doing a slow, uncomfortable taper, but it is better than cold turkey, which I’ve done. Fortunately, the physical symptoms are not that bad; at least I’m not barfing uncontrollably with cold sweats and the runs! I just feel like shit and don’t want to leave the house (though I will try to kick my ass out the door to a meeting later). Plenty of fatigue, squirming, insomnia, can’t think straight AND THE DEPRESSION and anxiety. The depression and anxiety truly are horrible. My first thought upon awakening is, “Oh no, not this shit again”. Super backfire, because hydrocodone, for the first few years, was the best anti-depressant I EVER HAD. Then it turns on ya, big time. I’ve been on Prozac and Buspar since before starting Hydro, and now they don’t work too well, to say the least.
Thanks to this forum, I’m realizing that I may not feel good for months if not a year or so, even after it’s out of my system. So I best go gentle with myself for the foreseeable future.
Huge irony is, I had over 20 years clean and sober. Then surgery, and 3 months of pain pills turned into 3 years.
I’m almost out of the woods with the acute withdrawals; tapering down was a big help to me – less agony but for longer.
Now, or soon, comes the big challenge; the fatigue and depression.
Bless you all
hey guys,
I am currently a 21 year old senior studying Accounting and Economics at Rutgers University in New Jersey. My childhood best friend, which i’ve known all of my life sells 30mg Oxy (roxys/blues)..About a year ago he told me how nice it feels to just snort a line and head to a party.. that i did..and that’s where this journey of mine began. For the last year i began using about 30-60mg of Oxy a day (was only up to 60mg for the last 3 months or so). When i first started using i must say that i was depressed and Oxy’s made all of my physical and mental anguish disappear. However, after spending 2-3,000 on this sh*t have i learned that it isn’t the cure for a happy, and normal life. i decided to get clean 6 days ago, and this will hopefully be the last time i say this. I am an avid exerciser, it is my ant-drug. Some days when i’m feeling sh*tty i’ll force myself to the gym and bang out a few sets of curls and dumbbell presses and i must say that it helps the PAWS. For everyone going through this, THERE IS A LIGHT TO THE END OF THE TUNNEL. i am 6 days clean and honestly i feel pretty decent.
I will make sure i frequent this sight often and will try to keep in touch.
Life isn’t easy.
Persevere. (Just got that tatted across my back this morning)
-Sunshine
Hi Climbing Out,
I know exactly what you mean when you say that you wake up and think “oh shit” I went through that for a long time. I felt like I would never shake that feeling of desperation…but it did eventually go away. What helped me was keeping busy and continues to help. Also, my kids were out of school at the time I first went through this and so I didn’t have that sense of urgency when I woke up, but now I have to get moving quickly and don’t have time to think about anything….that has also helped. I know that your energy level is low but push yourself even when you don’t feel like it and then push further. For one, you will wear yourself down and hopefully release some endorphins along the way and then second you will feel good about whatever it is you can accomplish. Just sharing what has helped me. I’m still not the happiest person in the world but I wasn’t before I ever heard of a vicodin. I have realize that I have to accept who I am and work from there. I am never going to feel as good as I did on the pills. Good luck!
Pinkerton
Anybody: I took 120 to150 mg of
vicodin for about 4 years. Prior to that had a “modest ” habit of maybe 20 mg. for about 10 years. i have been completely off vicodin for three months, and feel no craving for it, but am NOT NORMAL. Brain fog, apathy, depression….wondering if it is posible I have done permanent brain damage. Has anyone done this much, and gotten back to normal? If so, how long????? Thanks.
Iv taken 60-120 morphine for the past year either every day or ever other day. Just got over the acute withdrawal and I have to say I think most people are tricked into feeling like shit after thats over from doctors and this crap all over the net. What they wont tell you is all it takes is acceptance of the real reason you took the drug and the realization that it altered your mind during those times. I have no paws , no lack of energy , no depression. Although I guess it could be just a “things effect each person differently”. Either way strength your mind and accept the reasons why you used and why you want to quit and your good to go. If you dont want to use opiates you wont crave them.
I’m on day 9 off subutex and today it hit. Like you, this is exactly what led me to relapse. I can’t relapse. I’m pregnant. Yet feeling this way is torture.
I’m going to try your suggestions and pray it works. I’ve been crying all day. I feel so dead inside and have no motivation.
How long will this last???
Hi there – so glad I found this site. I’ve been using 20-30 of 10mg viks for past 3 yrs and need so badly to quit. To compound this, I’m recuperating from a broken leg. This wkend will be picking up my last script for #90 and want to start a taper but don’t know if I have the willpower to go thru with it. Pls help. I have a wonderful husband, kids, great house, great life, but hate being saddled with this addiction.
Pls help — trying to kick a 3 yr addiction to vicodin. Have been taking about 300mg/d, have been running through them at this level for the past yr and a half. I’m going to pick up #90 this weekend and want to start a taper but afraid I won’t have the willpower to go thru with this. I work in healthcare so the shame factor is severe and feel like I can’t turn to anyone. I have a great husband, great kids, but they have no idea. I feel like I’m living a lie, but so afraid of the alternative.
Jenny, 1st in order for the taper to work, You have to really I mean Really want to quit. I have been where you are and am currently taking 3-4 a day. It’s been Hard as hell but I just keep telling myself if I ever want to see my grand kids That I cant give in. I started by only taking a couple when I was starting to feel sick. But only then. I have lumbar issues that started all this crap years ago. But I have decided to try and deal with the pain. and I’m scheduled for knee surgery in 2 weeks that has me nervous as hell. Every time you get the urge to take some, get on this site and read. That seemed to help sometimes. If you can make the taper work it has to be better than C/T because for most they feel hell for a few days. but tapering is really hard when you have a full Rx sitting there. Good luck and stay strong.
HadEnouh
Jenny, Welcome to the site and I pray that you overcome your addiction. I applaud those that try to taper because I think it takes more guts and willpower than I could ever muster up. As long as their were pills, I would gobble them up. So, I but the ole bullet and went Cold Turkey. That way, the really bad hell only lasted about 4 days except for the sleeping – that did not return for a couple of weeks. When I was on the pills, I had withdrawal every single day and had to take my doses closer and closer until I knew I was going to kill myself if I did not stop. So, if I can do it, you can too. Whatever way you decide, I wish you the very best and hope and pray that you conquer this. This site is testimony that it can and has been done. Get on your knees if you have to and pray and take each day or minute at a time until you realize that you are through it and alive and start feeling once again.
I have been clean now 16 months and have friends on here that are a year ahead of me and some coming up behind me. If you need our help we are here.
Love and Hope
Kitty
hi,i am 44 yrs old and had been taking 20 to 25 vicoden a day,they where 10-325.my script was for 84 pills a week,i was out in three days.i also got some from another doc 750-750,150 a month and yes i am still alive.ive been clean for one week,my gut still hurts,and my deppression is bad.i almost have to remimber what it feels like to feel again,its truly awful to go threw this but i will survive.i had been on these for a yearand i hope no one has to feel the way i do.
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